Trace amounts of Monica in my life

A statistically insignificant level of Monica in my life

My life manufactured in a facility that also processes Monica

I can count the amount of Monica in my life on one hand. One, two, three four five...

Like to charge, reblog to cast?

they should invent an 8-9:30 pm that's seven hours

every post on iwaspoisoned.com starts with a guy being like yeah this smelled really bad and tasted really bad and looked wrong and i became violently ill after consuming it and you look at the attached photo and its a big jug with three X's and a skull on it

this is crazy i made this exact joke in a personal discord chat the other day. but this was posted 5 hours ago. what gives

do you want custody of the post

I just wanna hang out

Breaking news

love my hockey mutuals. occasionally poetry snippets or kafka quotes will cross my dash tagged "san jose sharks" and i have to think well i didn't watch it so who am i to judge. maybe franz kafka did write that about the san jose sharks

look at us. blogging

“but what if you abort the baby who’ll cure cancer?!” sir the baby who will cure cancer is an organic chemistry major who works at a Home Depot because you use AI to go through your resumes

"I am, somehow, less interested in the weight and convolutions of Einstein’s brain than in the near certainty that people of equal talent have lived and died in cotton fields and sweatshops." - Stephen Jay Gould, The Panda's Thumb: More Reflections in Natural History

This would be a place of worship if I bought it

Obsession (2025) was really scary because what if you took your girlfriend to a party and she did a dramatic reading of her Hansel & Gretel incest fanfiction.

Obsession (the Calvin Klein fragrance for men) is also really scary because it contains synthetic civet that's so effective at attracting big cats that wildlife researchers spray it near trail cams to get better footage. Do NOT wear it on a hike. Potion of getting mauled by a cougar.