welcome to kittifer...

it's easy for me to tell who is possessed by dark spirits and who isnt

🍷 The Cronenbergian Pervert is maybe a little bit drunk!

the cronenbergian pervert threw up for the first time in like a decade about an hour after posting this btw

love between vampires can be one thing, or it can be countless things. however you want me, i can be that for you. you said you want me to be present as your maker? i can be a maker for you. i want to be your maker. disregard the last 500 years in which i was repulsed by the idea. i don't have any complicated feelings about that at all. you said you want cool vampire powers even though you're a three year old fledgling? i can help you become a daywalker, a skill that apparently takes centuries to develop. you're an investigative journalist, don't you want a scandal on lestat? i can give you a scandal. i want to help you finish that job. lestat fucks his mom. isn't that good? aren't i useful? aren't i worth keeping around?

they need a social media for rpf

the jeremy renner app

(talking about the narrator and tyler durden) do they need a controversially young second?

(guy in charge of purchasing at warner voice) yeah hi I just wanted to double check something with you- yeah under "woman to be mean to me" I noticed you have three salaries listed, I'm assuming that's only meant to be one... Oh, yeah, okay, definitely three, can I just ask- okay, so two of them are singers, and the other... She looks at you? And tells the clerk to slap you harder? Well actually I wanted to talk to you about him too-

Hi, yeah, just one more thing, I thought you already had a costuming team, but here it says you've requested a tailor too, have you changed the- oh, okay. So that's just for the puppet- yes, yes, the gentleman, sorry- and it absolutely has to be a tailor? ...He insisted? He as in the gentleman? ...right, yeah, and do you want me to up your therapists payroll too?

maybe cain wldnt have killed abel if they had video games to healthily channel the violence between siblings. unfortunately back then the only smash brothers they had was smash brothers head in with a rock

you’re so fucking spoiled you get to pick out which radiator you get chained to

i’m not even that much of a pervert i can just find the eroticism in anything. doesn’t get me bricked up necessarily i just like to appreciate it.

armand, his eyes enormous: you MOCK armand? you make fun of his traumas on the stage? oh! oh! suicide for the band! suicide for the band for One Thousand Years!!!!

fool me once shame on you. fool me twice shame on me. fool me three times this has gotta be a sex thing for at least one of us