Kittens Tiny Journey

I think most people don’t understand know how it originated.

Back in the earlier day of the internet, a lot of anorexics and people with eds went on these early forums to discuss their issues. Some of these first forums would ban users if they said anything that wasn’t positive and recovery related. So the ed community made their own forums and called themselves proana meaning pro discussing their struggles and feelings while not in recovery. It was just ed people who werent ready to recover discussing how they felt.

Do you think this is a pretty sight? This is the reality of having anorexia for 12+ years. The reality of what eating disorders can do to your body.

When I was in high school and then in college getting my bachelors degree, I spent more time in hospitals and treatment centers than I did out of them.

And then I found out

My organs failed. Permanently.

Last year, I needed major surgery that took about 4 HOURS, and after that I was admitted to the hospital for a week on heavy pain medications, being wheeled around because I couldn’t walk.

I had tubes everywhere.

I had to medically withdraw from graduate school because I had to spend that time in doctors offices, infusion centers for IVs, in the ER, or admitted into the hospital.

Now I have a 6 inch scar across my abdomen and will be on medications for the rest of my life to help my heart and stomach function enough to keep me alive.

I’ve nearly died multiple times from the ED, but I had never believed that my organs could shut down and leave me to deal with that reality for the rest of my life.

That is not a way anyone should have to live life.

Do you think this is a pretty sight? This is the reality of having anorexia for 12+ years. The reality of what eating disorders can do to your body.

When I was in high school and then in college getting my bachelors degree, I spent more time in hospitals and treatment centers than I did out of them.

And then I found out

My organs failed. Permanently.

Last year, I needed major surgery that took about 4 HOURS, and after that I was admitted to the hospital for a week on heavy pain medications, being wheeled around because I couldn’t walk.

I had tubes everywhere.

I had to medically withdraw from graduate school because I had to spend that time in doctors offices, infusion centers for IVs, in the ER, or admitted into the hospital.

Now I have a 6 inch scar across my abdomen and will be on medications for the rest of my life to help my heart and stomach function enough to keep me alive.

I’ve nearly died multiple times from the ED, but I had never believed that my organs could shut down and leave me to deal with that reality for the rest of my life.

That is not a way anyone should have to live life.

I just went throught the menu to find low calorie drinks at Starbucks. I feel like everyone has different definitions of “safe drinks” but generally i kept these under 200 calories.

all drinks are in size Grande

Hot Coffee:

Caffè Americano (15 cals)

All black coffee (5 cals)

Skinny Cinnamon Dolce Latte (120 cals)

Skinny Mocha (160 cals)

Iced Coffee:

Caffè Americano (15 cals)

Coffee (80 cals)

Skinny Cinnamon Dolce (80 cals)

Skinny Mocha (120 cals)

Hazelnut Mocha Coconutmilk Macchiato (170 cals)

Hot Tea:

all teas are 0 cal except for the following

Defense Wellness (10 cals)

Honey Citrus Mint (140 cals)

Citrus Defender (150 cals)

Iced Teas:

Black Tea (45 cals)

Pineapple Black Tea (45 cals)

Green Tea (45 cals)

Strawberry Green Tea (45 cals)

Passion Tango (45 cals)

Peach Citrus White Tea (45 cals)

White Tea (45 cals)

Pineapple Black Tea Lemonade (70 cals)

Strawberry Green Tea Lemonade (70 cals)

Peach Citrus White Tea Lemonade (70 cals)

Piña Colada Tea Infusion (80 cals)

Black Tea Lemonade (90 cals)

Green Tea Lemonade (90 cals)

Passion Tango Lemonade (90 cals)

White Tea Lemonade (90 cals)

Other Hot Drinks:

Skinny Hot Chocolate (150 cals)

Frappuccinos:

Coffee Light (110 cals)

Espresso Light (120 cals)

Caramel Light (140 cals)

Mocha Light (140 cals)

Horchata Almondmilk Crème (330 cals)

Strawberries and Crème (370 cals)

Other Cold Drinks:

Cool Lime Refresher (60 cals)

Berry Hibiscus Refresher (70 cals)

Strawberry Açaí Refresher (90 cals)

Ombré Pink Drink (100 cals)

Violet Drink (110 cals)

Lemonade (110 cals)

Cool Lime Lemonade (110 cals)

So I have a friend

Her name is Ellie

She’s sweet and kind

She’s caring and emotional

She’s beautiful

And she hates herself

She hates herself so much that she has tried to kill herself

She has lost her will to live and she is losing against her depression, her anxiety, her ed.

She doesn’t believe me when I tell her that she deserves love and affection

She doesn’t believe that people care

But people care

She doesn’t believe me

But perhaps she’ll believe you

Please reblog, it will only take a second.

Reblog nomatter what your blog is

Reblog so that her dashboard of people she follows is full of this post

Reblog so that wherever she goes on Tumblr she sees love

Reblog and add tags

Whatever you do, don’t skip this post

Reblog nomatter what

Ellie

If you read this

We love you

I love you

Stay alive

Fight

You’re not alone

Elena Hangson

(request a post here)

enjoy this masterlist of healthy low-calorie alternatives to the foods you crave. you don’t have to deprive yourself of tasty treats anymore! if you want to see more posts like this, please like or request a post! now let’s get to the good stuff…

instead of chocolate, have…

chocolate rice cakes - 50 cals

hershey’s kisses - 22 cals (you can have four of these babies for only 100 cals)

fudgesicles - 100 cals

fat free hot cocoa - 20 cals (spice it up with a dash of cinnamon and a few marshmallows)

heavenly crisp candy bar - 110 cals (tastes just like a kit kat, but better for you)

special k chocalate pretzels - 100 cals

skinny girl chocolate truffles - 50 cals

instead of ice cream, have…

halo top ice cream - 70 cals (my favorite flavors are candy bar and oatmeal cookie)

breyer’s delights - 70 cals (these taste better than halo top imo, but have more fat)

mint chip ice cream sandwiches - 150 cals

vanilla ice cream sandwiches - 150 cals

homemade banana “nice” cream - 200 cals

dannon flavored yogurt (just pop it in the freezer) - 70 cals

luigi’s italian ice cups - 100 cals

instead of cake, have…

starbucks cake pops - 140 cals

assorted biscotti - 80 cals

perfect-size-for-one cake in a mug - 260 cals (a little higher in calories, but good if you’re prone to binging)

brown sugar steelcut oatmeal - 150 cals (weird I know but it tastes just like cake/a cinnamon roll and always does the trick for me)

rice krispie treat - 90 cals

fiberone lemon drizzle cake - 90 cals

krispy kreme plain donut - 190 cals

chocolate chip and bluebbery waffles - 90 cals

instead of a milkshake, have…

starbucks light caramel frappucino - 160 cals

vanilla soy milk - 90 cals (this is also good heated up in the microwave)

panera peach blueberry smoothie - 180 cals

starbucks light vanilla frappucino - 100 cals

mcdonalds berry parfait - 150 cals

instead of chips, have…

cinnamon apple crisps - 110 cals

skinny pop popcorn (comes in lots of flavors) - 100 cals

lightly salted pretzel sticks - 3 cals

cheddar mini rice cakes - 10 cals

cheerios (good for munching on if you’re nauseated) - 100 cals

mixed nuts - 100 cals

instead of a brownie, have…

fiberone chocolate brownie - 90 cals (small but good if you’re just craving the taste)

double chocolate biscotti - 110 cals (amazing for dipping in coffee!!)

special k brownie bites - 100 cals

chocolate filled soft bake - 120 cals

chocolate pudding - 90 cals

instead of pizza, have…

pizza patties - 110 cals (these taste literally just like pizza, with hints of tomato basil and little globs of mozzerella)

lean pizza pockets - 230 cals (pretty much hot pockets except healthier)

pizza bagel bites - 200 cals (a serving size is four of these lil guys and i l o v e them)

homemade rice cake pizzas - 50 cals (calories vary depending on what toppings you use)

instead of cookies, have…

teddy grahams - 120 cals

caramel rice cakes - 50 cals

graham crackers - 60 cals (come in a variety of flavors like cinnamon and chocolate)

meringue cookies - 25 cals (these are literally so incredible and they’re easy to make yourself if you’re broke)

panera petite chocolate chipper - 100 cals

fiberone cookie bites - 130 cals

ginger snaps - 70 cals

special k strawberry and chocolate crisps - 50 cals

instead of candy, have…

sugar free fruit popsicles - 15 cals

smarties - 25 cals (you can have a whole roll of them)

sugar free jello cups - 5 cals (life savers!! omg)

jumbo marshmallows - 90 cals

fruit flavored tic tacs - 2 cals

berry fruit leather - 45 cals

I don’t know if anyone cares enough to read this, but I want to get this off my chest, as I’ve seen a lot of posts about this topic floating around. Please remember before cursing me out, this is just my opinion and you don’t have to agree with me.

You are not pro-ana if

you’re posting or reblogging tips

you’re posting or reblogging thinspo

you’re answering asks

You are pro-ana if

you wish this mental illness upon someone else

you tell people they are fat and should starve themselves

you actively encourage other people to develop an eating disorder

you think eating disorders are a good thing and more people should have one