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This kiddo has Autism.  Something that really makes it difficult for someone to use their principle functions.  That can and often includes the ability to understand and comprehend Social skills.  It doesn’t matter if your high-functioning, low-functioning, or Aspergic, Social Skills are something we are left without growing up and we have to work our asses off to develop those skills to the point where we can be seen as the same.  It was something that was so important for me to learn that it became my number one priority.  Hell my academic studies often took the back seat to my social studies.  It was important to my because I got teased, I got bullied, I would get picked on because they knew they could rile me up and yank my chain.  They knew they would get a reaction out of me and they didn’t care how it made me feel.  They just wanted to get a laugh at the expense of the weird kid.  I was lucky I had at least 1 friend at each school I went to that would stand up for me and help me whenever this happened.  I worked so I could fit in, so I could make myself less of a target for the people to pick on.  I worked to make myself normal, so I could fit in.

Now think about how absolutely TERRIFYING it is for him to be able to stand up in the middle of his PE class and actually talk about what he’s feeling, and how other people are making him feel.  You hear those ‘likes’ he’s sputtering out?  That’s his mouth trying to keep up with every little thing that is racing through his mind right now, and let me tell you, we kids who have Autism and Aspergers our minds work considerably faster than the average person’s.  This kid is struggling to say what he’s feeling, and he’s struggling hard, but he’s still pushing forward, he’s going to say what he’s feeling and he does.  AND THAT IS MOTHERFUCKING AMAZING.  I never had that courage myself when I was growing up, I was scared, I was afraid I’d be signaled out, I felt it’d just signal me out even more than I already was.  So all I did was listen to the adults and just ‘ignored’ the kids who were bullying me.  And in hindsight, I wish I could have gone back and stood up for myself.

What makes me really mad though, is those kids who just sat there laughing.  FUCK. THOSE. BRATS.  I can tell you with a good deal of certainty that those are the little shits this kid has to deal with.  And he knows it too!  He acknowledges the fact that those kids are laughing at him, and I can see that anger and frustration that is seated in him, I can see that hurt in his eyes when he says “I see you laughing.”  And in my case if I had done what this kid did at that age I would have gone over, and I would have started getting really agitated and running my mouth, but this kid doesn’t, he keeps calm and doesn’t lash out at them and I respect him for that a lot.

This is why it bugs me so often when people on the internet use autism and aspergers as the butt of a joke or as an insult, hell I don’t even know what it’s fucking connotations as an insult are!!  But it’s fucking god damn infuriating!  This kid has Autism, but you’re only seeing the Autism, you aren’t seeing him.  You aren’t understanding that beyond that label is a kid just as unique and varied as any one of your normal friends.

I don’t like writing huge walls of text, but in this case I’m tired of seeing post after post about kids with Autism getting bullied or not getting the help and support they need.  I’m finally giving my two cents on this topic and I’m giving every bit of worth those two cents have.  I’m tired of seeing this bullying go unchecked, I’m tired of people not seeing kids with autism and needing support and help, rather than time outs and detentions.  I’m tired of people throwing the word Autistic around on the internet as some piece of unjustified fucking slander.  I’m tired of having to remind myself that my Asperger’s isn’t something to be ashamed of.

Sure, we kids with Autism and Aspergers don’t have the best social skills or control over our emotions.  When we get angry we burn our anger really intensely, like a fucking magnesium burn.  There’s a reason they’re called meltdowns.  But these are skills we can learn, these are things we can develop when we’re given the proper help and support.  You know what else?  We kids with Autism and Aspergers are really god damn fucking smart!  My own IQ is 124!  I’m bordering on the upper percentile of the Above Average grade!  But the years of teasing and bullying has left me with the shittiest self-esteem that I barely even believe that I am smart!  This is what happens when we get bullied and teased incessantly while we grow up, and I am sick to death of it, because I’m in college and I haven’t even escaped this shit on the GODDAMNED INTERNET.  I don’t want any other kid to have to go through this.  I don’t want to have any other kid make an excuse to go to the bathroom so he can run and hide in the library and cry! I don’t want any other kid to get beat up on the playground just because he wants to play by himself.  When I’m a father, I will not fucking tolerate this shit from any other kid.  I will stand up for my children when they’re too scared to do so themselves, I will protect them from the kind of shit that has made me feel worthless and retarded.