Jules Pierre van Biesbroeck
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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@kitchenhummin
Jules Pierre van Biesbroeck

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āimagine thereās no countriesā fuck off john lennon how are we supposed to play the world cup without countries you ultimate scum
"Hi. The quality of my speaking voice is the product of two things that Iām not sorry for. One is that I went to, I was lucky enough to go to a Knicks game last night. I screamed for 100% of it, and then I got home and I was like, āYou gotta stop screaming. Youāre screaming too much. Youāre screaming instead of talking. Youāre too excited.ā And I was like, āOkay, Iām not going to scream tonight.ā And then I got to witness the amazing performances that I saw tonight, and then I just kept screaming. I just never stopped screaming. And so this is what you get, and again, I make no apologies for that. Iāve had a blast. Tonight has been amazing.
I want to begin by thanking the person who introduced and inducted me tonight, and thinks this is the first time he has inducted me into something. But what he may not be taking into consideration is that through his decades of spellbinding storytelling, Steven Spielberg has unknowingly inducted me and countless others into his sacred club of expansive world-building. From the time he was a kid, every time he dreamed something up, he wanted to do anything humanly possible to be able to show it to you. I watched his films pivot between different genres, from action, to sci-fi, to historical epic, to drama, to comedy, romance, fantasy, to musical, and I watched him ace every single genre. And that kind of limitless creativity isnāt just inspiring to burgeoning filmmakers. Because of examples of Stevenās, I trusted my imagination, regardless of it was taking me somewhere new and uncharted, and then every time I dreamed something up, I wanted to do everything humanly possibly to be able to play it for you.
A few months ago when the Songwriters Hall of Fame asked me about my heroes and the creatives who shaped my storytelling and who I might want to present this award to me, I said Stevenās name. And about an hour later to my absolute delight, I ended up on the phone with him and his legendarily effervescent wife, Kate Capshaw, who is here tonight. And he was telling me, yes, absolutely, he would be thrilled to be here. I was completely blown away because the man has a massive film called Disclosure Day thatās coming out at midnight tonight, and heās still going to agree and show up to do this for me a few hours before it comes out. Wouldnāt that be impossibly hard to balance? Wouldnāt that be too difficult, scheduling-wise? Iām trying to give him an out. At which point, Kate said something Iāll never forget. She said, āGood and true things are easy.ā And if I look back at my entire 23-year career in music: the ups and downs, the industry battles, the trials and tribulations, the tears and the cheers and the dogpiling of doubt, the criticisms, both fair and unfair, the complete loss of privacy, the world tours, and the ego wars, and the twists of fate, the absolute magical chaos of this path that I chose when I was too young to remember it ever being a choice at all. Songwriting was the easiest thing I ever did. Not because it didnāt take effort ā it definitely did; not that it wasnāt frustrating at times, because it could be; and not that my songwriting didnāt haunt me relentlessly until I cracked the perfect internal rhyme scheme for the third line, the second verse of the book where my teachers called me out in class for not paying attention ā because that definitely happened. But when I say that songwriting was the easiest part for me, I think what I mean is that it was instinctual. No one taught me how to do it. I had to be taught how to entertain a crowd, and learn choreography, and be less annoying, and navigate the industry, and fiercely protect my own sanity. I had to learn all of that over time, through difficult lessons and massive amounts of trial and error and chaos and calamity. But songwriting, for me, was pretty much the only thing I ever just naturally did.
advertisement is so constant and everywhere i have to wonder if it even works anymore. im aware my bus stop probably has ads on it but i couldnt tell you what for. i hear 'this video is sponsored by' and i start skipping ahead until its over. u can probably argue theyre still getting in your brain by becoming part of the white noise but like idk man. im feelin really "when everything is ads, nothing is." right now.
in honor of the tomatoes I just planted out back š

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genuinely one of my favourite details about Bram Stokers Dracula that isn't really transferred to the pop culture is that vampires have irridescent eyes, they appear brown at a glance, however when light is reflected on them they seem to go red!
another thing that pop culture latched onto is this idea that you might use a wreath of garlic bulbs to ward off a vampire, however, in the book there is a popular use of garlic blossoms rather than the bulbs. i think these are a lot prettier and way more versatile for stylisation! you could have a garlic flower crown.
also like the cowboy part can we please stop omitting the fact that there is a real ass cowboy in Bram Stokers Dracula and hes from real ass Texas and he has a fucking gun and he tries to fucking shoot Dracula
I have an end-of-life patient to whom I spoke today. She burst out laughing and said, "It was all such fun. I just had so much fun." I wish this for everyone. I wish that we each would meet death laughing, with little regret and even less fear.
HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL (2006), dir. by Kenny Ortega
I Knew It, I Knew You Toy Story 5 Premiere

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TAYLOR SWIFT & RANDY NEWMAN "You've Got a Friend in Me" at the Toy Story 5 premiere
Mark Beck
its been 6 months and im still not over this. easily best and most hilarious play in baseball history
for those who dont really understand:
-the first baseman had no reason to chase BaƩz, if he just stepped on the bag he was automatically out
-theres two outs, so if hes out, the inning is over. even if the runner on second base gets home, the run doesnt count. its not until hes safe at first that the run scores
-theres no specific rule in baseball about running backwards from first, just that you ācannot retreat to home baseā meaning so long as if you dont touch the plate, its fine
-BaƩz ran backwards to kill enough to get the run to score, and then stole and extra base on the base on the bad throw
-HE TOOK THE TIME TO UMPIRE HIS OWN PLAY AND CALL SAFE
what a fucking sport yall
@fractaldunes
Javier BaĆ©zās nickname according to those announcers is El Mago which is spanish for The Wizard
Well earned
love how the explanations do not help at all
Let me see if I can break this down a little more.
Javier BĆ”ez (the batter, a Chicago Cub, wearing blue) has just hit the ball. His job is now to run around the bases - 1st, 2nd, 3rd, back to where he started (āhomeā), at which point he will have scored a point. In practice, he will probably stop partway, wait for the next batter to get a hit, and try to make it home from there.
The Pittsburgh Pirates (in white) are fielding. Their job is to stop the Cubs from scoring by getting them out, by various combinations of catching the ball and tagging people or bases with it.
The scoreboard (top left) shows that one Cub has already made it to second base, so he will resume running now that Javy has a hit. It also shows that two Cubs are out. If a third Cub gets out, their turn to bat will be over, it will be the Piratesā turn to bat, and the Cubs canāt score anymore (for now, but thatās not relevant).
The Pirate at first base (the first baseman) has the ball. All he needs to do is step on first base while holding it before Javy gets there, and Javy is out. This is probably the number one most common thing a first baseman has to do.
He does not do it.
For some reason he starts chasing Javy, presumably trying to tag him with the ball directly. This is a perfectly legitimate way of getting him out, but also completely unnecessary.
This has never happened to Javy before. Unsure what else to do, he just kind of⦠jogs backwards away from him.
Meanwhile, the Cub who was at second base (Contreras) has made it all the way back to home. Because the Piratesā first baseman has helpfully walked the ball back home, he can easily toss it to the Pirate at home (the catcher) who will tag Contreras out.
The catcher doesnāt tag him in time.
The umpire signals that Contreras is safe (not out).
Javy also signals that Contreras is safe, just for fun. Heās never been nearby when a teammate makes it home before, and heās enjoying himself.
Notice that the score has not changed, even though Contreras made it home. Thatās because Javy is still technically running to first base. If he gets out before he reaches it, the Cubsā turn to bat is over, and nothing else thatās happened since he hit the ball matters.
Javy remembers this, and heads back to first base. The catcher throws the ball to another Pirates fielder, who is frantically running to do the first basemanās job.
He doesnāt catch it.
Javy is safe at first. Contreras scores (although the scoreboard wonāt change for a second).
Javy notices how far away that ball landed, and decides he can make it to second base before anyone picks it up and tags him out.
An offscreen Pirate throws the ball to second base, where another Pirate is ready and waiting to catch it, tag Javy out, and end the Cubsā turn to bat.
He doesnāt catch it.
Javy is safe at second. The video doesnāt show it, but he will go on to score as well.
This should have been a very easy out for the Pirates, but through two dropped catches and one truly bizarre decision from the first baseman, they snatched defeat from the jaws of victory and turned it into two points for the Cubs.
The Cubs won this game by two points.
HAPPY OPENING DAY OF BASEBALL 2022 YALL. LETS PRAY FOR MORE OF THIS BULLSHIT
I know Iāve reblogged this before, but hereās a version with an explanation for folks unfamiliar with the game* and this amazing comment:
Never change, Pittsburgh
You know how you can say any religion is just a sect with some history? Beigeball is clearly Calvinball with some history
being alive is great because there are so many different vegetables you can sautƩ. but then there are also the horrors
with faith and perseverance, one day we will sautƩ the horrors

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