kate_withnointent

Andrea Dworkin, Our Blood

Andrea Dworkin, Woman Hating

Andrea Dworkin, Intercourse

Andrea Dworkin, Letters from a War Zone

Andrea Dworkin, Life and Death

Andrea Dworkin, Pornography, Men Possessing Women

Andrea Dworkin, Right Wing Women

Angela Davis, Are Prisons Obsolete

Angela Davis, Beyond the Frame, Women of Color and Visual Representation

Audre Lorde, Zami, Sister Outsider Undersong

Catharine A. MacKinnon et Andrea Dworkin, In Harm’s Way, the Pornography Civil Rights Hearings

Catharine A. MacKinnon, Feminism Unmodified, Discourses on Life and Law

Catharine A. MacKinnon, Only Words

Catharine A. MacKinnon, Points Against Postmodernism  

Bell Hooks, Ain’t I a Woman?

Janice G. Raymond & Donna M. Hughes, Sex Trafficking of Women in the United States

Jessica Rey presents the history of the evolution of the swimsuit including the origins of its design, how it has changed overtime and the post-feminist association of the bikini symbolizing female empowerment. She refers to neuro-scientific studies revealing how male brains react to images of scantily clad women versus images of women deemed modest and what the implications of the results are for women in society.

(Note: As the OP, I disagree with Rey’s approach to putting the onus on women to alter ourselves rather than to alter the male perception of women – brain wiring has plenty to do with socialization and if we worked against the culture that fuels men’s objectification of women, women’s clothing choices would matter far less in terms of how men perceive us and determine how to interact with us).

Here are 20 quotes. 19 are from trans people and their allies and were collected online. One is from my rapist. Try to guess which one!

1. Look, it’s not like I require the women I date to be cool with having my dick inside them. In fact, I’m fine if that never happens. But being shut off from the very idea of it, not even considering that having my penis inside you is different from having a man’s penis inside you? That hurts. It’s such a tiny slight that I wish I could get over it, and not let it fester into something I feel the need to write an essay about, but apparently I can’t.

2. [I]f genitalia is the one and only reason for not being into someone, I do think it is worth thinking through that. Responding to one of the claims that some have made, I would emphatically state that nobody’s physical body is a representation of patriarchy. Such a statement is not only somewhat cruel to inflict on someone who herself is oppressed by patriarchy, it is also pretty defeatist from a feminist perspective […].

3. Being gay isn’t a biological phenomenon, you fucking freak.

4. [I]f people had an honest education and understanding of trans women’s anatomy and sexuality, their answer to “would you have sex with a trans woman who has a penis?” would not nearly as often be “no”, but it would be “I don’t know”.

5. You are literally reducing a person to their genitals, yes genitals are necessary for sex but the fact that you’d reject someone off hand because they don’t have the ‘right’ genitals is gross as fuck.

6. I want to create “TERF trap” porn. It would be similar to those tricked gay scenes. Like a scene offering some TERF on her way to Michfest a ride and gas money if she fucks this hot chick… and then finds out she’s trans!!

7. Wanting to engage in certain sex acts, or interact with certain body parts, is a preference of sexual behaviour. It’s not the same as attraction. […] You’re allowed to have preferences about what sex acts you want to indulge in and which ones you don’t, but don’t conflate that with attraction.

8. Ok but having a genital preference, even if it stems from rape, is wrong and transphobic and maybe you should really think about why you only want vagina.

9. All sexualities are trans inclusive or you’re transphobic.

10. You know people are “overcoming” their sexual boundaries all the time and it is not a bad thing and in fact is often related to personal growth and shedding past traumas?

11. My purpose in writing this piece is to highlight how cis dykes’ unwillingness to consider trans women as legitimate partners translates directly into a lack of community for queer-identified trans women.

12. Having a coffee now and then with a trans woman you most likely won’t find attractive—but you never know—is a small price to pay to make the online dating world a less shitty place for trans people. It’s what an ally would do.

14. Every TERF’s dream is to be plowed by a gorgeous trans woman.

15. Even if a lesbian has a preference for vagina [… it] doesn’t mean that she can’t date a trans woman. Like sex doesn’t have to be P-in-V, she could eat ass, she could peg her trans girlfriend, she could just get her vagina eaten while the girlfriend gets herself off…

16. A tongue is a tongue, and a finger is a finger. It doesn’t matter if you’re a lesbian.

17. Gay, straight, lesbian, bi, etc… All outdated ways of thinking about sexuality. All limited by cisnormativity + oppressors’ language.

18. [B]y loudly proclaiming your dick-repulsion, you’re alienating so many trans lesbians and trans wlw. You’re invalidating their womanhood at the same time as you are excluding them from the lesbian identity. Preferences are preferences, but you might want to evaluate yours.

19. Gay “conversion therapy” has been proven not to work. But you can unlearn your own prejudices; it just takes time and conscious effort.

1. It isn’t rape if she’s smiling through tears, is what I say.

2. If you’re not interrogating your ‘genital preferences’ by now honey…. in 2018 honey…? […] Some of the cis lesbians out here need to like. Like stop. Like stop it.

3. Saying that “gay people aren’t attracted to the opposite sex” reinforces transphobic ideas because it essentially excludes all trans people on the basis of their genitalia.

 4. You’re not a lesbian if you just like organs you predatory freak. Women are more than just sex parts and it astounds me how fucking hypocritical and stupid you are to be brainwashing yourself and others into this hatred.

5. Lots of lesbians love dick, it’s usually the gender of the person attached to it they don’t like. Strap ons would not be a thing if it were just about not liking dick.

6. Have you considered opening yourself up and not being a violent transmisogynist?

7. The whole concept of ‘sexual orientation’ is outdated and reductive. Honestly, who the hell obsesses over genitals enough to make it a deal-breaker in their dating life? Lesbians can like dick!

8. Preferences are prejudice, no matter how hurt your feelings are or how justified you feel, because at the end of the day you’re judging your reactions to an entire group of people you haven’t met yet (unless you’ve, for example, met every trans woman on the planet). No one’s asking you to want to have sex with everyone, but declaring “preferences” publicly does nothing but reinforce negative cultural norms […]. Keep your “preferences” to yourself.

10. You didn’t come out of the womb attracted to a pussy. That’s just the reality of the situation. Your aversion to trans women as a lesbian is solely rooted in transmisogyny and nothing else. A penis doesn’t make someone male just like my pussy doesn’t secrete any magical spell to make me a woman.

11. [Y]ou can have sex without being penetrated like trans women still have fingers and mouths? And toys exist so that argument’s kinda null.

12. How is my permanently attached strapon functionally any different than a cis woman’s detachable strapon?

13. Gays who are anti vagina just need to fix themselves in general.

15. Genital preferences are cissexist as fuck! Start unlearning that shit if you haven’t already, cause trans bodies are worthy of love/sex and I’m tired of reiterating that.

16. A person should never experience a total loss of attraction to another person after learning their genital status. That’s a clear, and inarguable sign of transphobia at play. Simply knowing a person’s genital status is no excuse for such a monumental loss of attraction to a person. Being solely attracted to genitals is transphobic. Requiring engagement with specific kinds of genitals is fetishistic.

17. [I] get that people have preferences but sometimes those preferences are problematic. Like Yanno not wanting to date POC or trans people. Nothing exists in a vacuum.

1. If you only like one type of woman with one type of body and privates, you’re not a lesbian. You’re a sleazy ass pervert who’s out there shopping for meat.

2. Everyone, deep down, has the capacity for pansexuality, or for not caring about another person’s junk or identity when it comes to dating and fucking.

3. You’re not a real lesbian if you won’t date trans women. You’re a vagina fetishist. Gynosexual. You’re not a lesbian but you’re a transphobe […]

4. You’re confused about what it means to be a lesbian, or a woman.  I don’t care what your physical preferences are or what gender identity you prefer. I do care that you confuse those two things, and thereby insult trans women.  I care that you don’t bother to interrogate the origins of your phallus-based distaste for trans women, and think about whether it’s actually a dislike of the organ that’s happening here or whether transphobia and a refusal to view trans women as women is involved.  I care that you assume describing yourself as a lesbian tells others that you prefer what you call a pussy, as if everyone has the same definition of lesbian, woman, or pussy.

5. If I put my dick in your mouth, will that shut you up?

6. The genitals of trans people on HRT, even if they haven’t had any surgery, act VERY differently than cis people think… Like I don’t care how “attracted to vaginas” you are or whatever, you know nothing and are a dumbass. […] Sorry, genital preferences are transphobic. End of story.

7. Lesbian doesn’t mean that you only like vaginas. That’s a really outdated, harmful notion.

8. It annoys me when lesbians and gays are so anti-bisexual. Why does gender matter, you fall in love with a person, not their genitals, stop.

9. A lesbian is either into all woman, or not a lesbian. There’s no such thing as genitalia preferences.

10. I agree that it really sucks [to be rejected] and that in a perfect society, everyone would be bisexual and no one would have to suffer under transmisogyny […]. It’s not fair. People having expectations isn’t fair.

11. It’s not that deep, if a lesbian will fuck dildos or strap ons (aka 99% of lesbians) but not a girl’s dick then she’s prejudiced and transmisogynistic and at this point deserves to die painfully just like all other fascists. Same goes for gay men who will fuck a cis dude’s ass but not a trans man’s holes.

12. Trans people are amazing! If you disagree, I have a dildo wrapped in razor wire you can fuck yourself with.

13. [T]o refuse to see someone flat out just because of their genitalia is narrowminded and you could be missing out on a lot of fun experiences both in and out of the bedroom. Sex is not solely penetrative and you should realize that, especially as a lesbian, where this has been a topic of debate with the straight community for a while.

14. It’s not even that I literally just don’t see how lesbians can only be attracted to women who look like men, aside from the pussy there’s no difference between men and certain butch lesbians […]

15. Being a gold star lesbian isn’t an act of trans misogyny. Saying you are a gold star because you don’t like dick, however, is.

16. Radfems reduce lesbianism to eating and licking pussy. Like it’s REALLY creepy, scary, and predatory.

17. People say “oh, but I just don’t like penises/vulvas”, but that, too, is rooted in cissexism and general poor sex education. You can have sex – great sex – with someone with a penis without penetration whatsoever.

18. If you “just don’t like penis” or “just don’t like vagina” then fuck you also. Thank you for reducing us to our genitals. Thank you for dehumanizing and degendering us with you “preference.”

19. I’ll believe cis lesbians aren’t attracted to penises when they stop using strap-ons and dildos.

20. Why would dicks be traumatizing to cis lesbians… unless you’re a TERF…

21. Attraction is formed by a combination of all sorts of things. Reducing attraction to biology is what bigots did so that they could tell homosexuals they were sick. Using the argument here to try and discount trans people is just as bad.

22. “Why would a lesbian ever want to date a pre-operative transgender woman?” Um, because strap-ons are expensive, but condoms are cheap?