💌

It took a week to convince both Hajime and Touka alike, but somehow Hinami and Ayato reached the miracle they needed and yearned for. Ayato never annoyed his sister as much as he did in the past week, and that in itself was an achievement. Even Ayato would admit he was a prick when he was younger. Though he was much less aggressive than before. It’s progress.

He had to do his best to convince her, promise her he’d be responsible, promise her he won’t let the kids wander off and get lost. She forced him to swear four different times that he’ll make sure all the children will be safe, in different wordings, and that’s after Hinami explained to her how clean the hospital really is, assuring her she and Ayato will not take the kids to anywhere that will put them in risk.

It’s been a while that he’d seen the worrywart side of his sister - unwilling to endanger anything precious to her as she knows what is a loss. When he was younger, she’d worry about the silliest things - about when he had a bit of a fever, barely above the standard temperature, or when she saw him not eating enough, even though she probably force fed him more food than she had ate for an entire week at that time.

In the end of the day, his sister let empathy overtake her much like he did. Hinami had wide, filled with concern eyes and Ayato could almost hear his sister’s heart break as Hinami receded back to dejected, guarded state slowly. The tremble in his sister’s slender fingers were what sealed the deal, as they quickly tightened to a fist. “Fine. As long as you two take care of the kids, I’ll let you.”

Hinami almost immediately hugged Touka, who returned the favor with a soft smile. The palpitations of Touka’s heart was not lost on Hinami, that was pressed closely to her in the embrace. She felt bad, in a way pressuring the kind manager like that. So Hinami did what she could and hugged Touka the way her mother used to hug her, making sure there is no tremor or quake along her body.

Ayato was watching the scene carefully. It seemed like his sister was getting along well with her, that she trusts her. People sometimes tend to be cruel even if unintentionally with their actions. He almost wonders if he was pulling her to the same fate as before, but he dismissed the thought before he could overthink.  

He doesn’t want his sister to get hurt, burnt once again for the mistakes of another. But his sister was right, the girl over here is only a student, asking for help just as they asked hers. If things go off track, he could cut anything in its roots, but for now, these roots might grow to something helpful. He wants to believe that, for his sister. For the orphanage. For himself.

Well, if he will be allowed to let those roots grow. Another week was spent by Hinami trying to convince Hajime it was a good idea. She sent him a lot of messages through it all because of that, updating a few times a day of progress. To him, the kid sounds remarkably brattish from her texts. It’s not that he hadn’t known ungrateful kids, but according to her texts, he already gave her silence treatment and broke things in his room - he was pretty over the top.

Had this kid been the slightest bit older, maybe he would reconsider the entire thing. But he was only eleven, and admittedly, Ayato can’t say he was much nicer at that age. Also, he must be small, being only a preteen. Ayato could probably handle him if he goes haywire. It’ll be okay, he kept thinking to himself.

Being honest, Ayato wasn’t sure how she was going to convince the kid to agree to the idea, but when he had gotten an excited, emoji filled text after a few days, he was surprised and impressed. Despite the kid being stubborn as a bull she somehow managed to weaken his resolve and let them come by.

Ayato sighed before texting a dull ‘okay’ back to her, and shoving his phone to his pants’ pockets. It rang a few more times, probably her complaining about his reaction, but he didn’t bother opening it again. They’ll see each other soon enough at the orphanage - they have to tell the kids themselves after all.

She was certainly happy, but from some reason, Ayato couldn’t help but feel in a somber mood. It’s been a long time since his father left them behind, but the pristine white walls and it’s repelling sterile smell remained strong in his memory. He would walk in there with a confident strut, but his stomach still churned. The day the walked out of the hospital was the day his and Touka’s lives started to fall apart.

He shook his head. That time was one thing; their lives were steady now. As steady as they could be, anyway. It won’t hurt him or anyone to enter a hospital again. Especially not when their volunteer’s father is one of the head doctors. This will probably do them more good than bad, and helping children was what he and Touka did for living, anyway.

He slumped in his walk, a bit lazy in it compared to other days. He felt numb to a degree, but as if he still had to clean his head, get himself away from all the mess of the past. But he had no time already. Soon the kids will already gather around the table back at home, and he knows they will wait for him, saying it’s not dinner otherwise. Touka never let him forget that after he came late that one time without telling her.

Ayato sighed and sped himself up. The orphanage isn’t far away anyway, it’s not like he’d gain so much more time to think anyway. The minute he reached near the house, he could tell there was something going on inside from the the noise the children created.

He entered the door to see Hinami inside, the children crowding her, their eyes shining. She turned around and revealed an ear to ear smile. “The supervising adult is here! Go get him before he’ll change his mind!” She told the kids, who immediately gave out devious smiles and charged towards him.

“WE’RE GOING ON A TRIP!!” Akemi shouted as most of the kids threw themselves on him, causing him to fall down himself and be the base of a very excited children pile. The rest of the kids started saying it happily like a mantra, and Ayato laughed to himself out loud at the entire situation.

Maybe, just maybe - everything will be alright.

She has to hold onto the girls so they won’t scatter around as they passed through the halls of the hospital. They were jittery and excited and they pulled her around, holding onto her skirt or hands, creating a ruckus. She had to quiet them down several times as they basically walked her as if they owned the hospital themselves.

Ayato behind her was laughing, the three boys he handled being a much gentler bunch, walking near him and making sure they were close to him despite their curious eyes wanting to explore much, much more. Hinami wanted to stomp on his foot for making fun of her, but honestly, she’d be laughing too if he was dragged bent to basically half of his height by children.

Finally they reached the pediatric department after a minutes that felt like years for Hinami’s back. She pulled herself away from the girls, straightening and fixing her uniform, smoothing out the wrinkles that were left after the assault the fabric had been through. She didn’t want to look like a mess - everyone on the staff knew her.

“You are done fixing your skirt, brat? We’re waiting for you.” Ayato asked her, teasing, with his stupid shit eating grin. This is exactly why he is still Jerkface in her phone. She was so close to changing it the other day but she regretted it right away when he decided to keep her nickname. Hinami decided to keep his name the same for now, because of it.

She stared at him with dead serious eyes and pursed lips. “Well, I have to fix it, knowing that you are looking.” She talked back to him and watched his expression turning shocked, his mouth gaping. “You boys don’t learn from him, okay?” She told Kyou, Akihiro and Yuki. They seemed confused, but they nodded as Ayato was recovering from her comment.

“You br-”

“Come on, we need to go to Hajime’s room already!” She beamed at them, and skipped away towards one of the only private rooms in this department. It’s not going to be very private right now - eight more people not including doctors are sure to drive Hajime insane, but he promised to act nice after she told him how much she wanted him to meet all of the other kids.

He didn’t particularly liked the idea at first, of course, but it’s not like she expected him to. He was mad that she even returned to the orphanage after what he she told him what happened on her first visit there. But he calmed after she told him how well she was treated later on, at the very least, and although it had taken him a week to agree to them coming over - he did, and even offered her a smile at the same time.

She didn’t care what other people in the hospital said. Even if for the entire world he’s a devil child, unwilling to bend to the reality around him and cold to those around him, for her he was her adorable little brother that she never had. He was good. All he needed was guidance, now that he was thrown so cruelly from the right path, undeservingly so.

It was no wonder he remained so hurt after what happened to him. She barely manage to deal with her mom falling into a coma, she could not imagine how hard it was for him to lose both of his parents, now completely alone in the world. At least, for now. Hinami wanted to make his world more broad, let him see happier pictures than this sad, somber room. She can’t do it on her own - but maybe the kids will help him see a different view to this life.

She opened the door to his room, and he was sitting there on the bed, a book she gave him in his hands. Those hands fall to his lap then as he notices her, and even though it’s just for a second, she can see his eyes crinkle slightly. It disappears as soon as Ayato and the kids walk through the door as well. He lifts his book and hides.

Hinami sighs, but she knows he can’t help it. It could have been much worse, anyway. She walks right next to him, taking the leading steps as the kids and Ayato follow behind her. “Do you like the book, Hajime?” She asks him mundanely, looking at him with knowing eyes as he tries to hide behind his book, obviously not reading.

“...Yes.” Hajime answers shortly, trying to avoid her eyes. She squinted her own eyes at him.

“Then you wouldn’t mind reading it later with the rest here, right? I’m sure they’ll love it too. You are good at reading too! I think it’ll be nice, don’t you think?” She suggests and he averts his eyes to the side again. She knows it’s annoying to him, but at the same time, Hajime had blush dusting his cheeks. He liked being acknowledged, after all.

He put the book away, near him on the bed. “Whatever, maybe later.” He said as he leaned back on his pillow. Hajime looked at Ayato and the children, scanning them with squinted eyes. He was a bit hesitant to even say anything. He doesn’t really understand why Hinami insisted on all of this, or why did he even agree. He had no idea what to say.

“Do you have to have this thing attached to your arm? It looks painful.” Akemi asked, climbing on the stool and sitting on it as she pointed at his IV drip. He was caught off guard, and looked at Hinami, who was nodding at him, probably to explain to her.  He swallowed as the rest of the group came closer to his bed as well.

“Yes. For pain medication and so I won’t get dehydrated. Or that’s what they tell me, at least.” He answered dryly. His IV drip sometimes felt more like a chain of a prisoner, but it doesn’t matter much to them. They wouldn’t care about it anyway.

He was taken aback when the girl took his hand, bringing closer to her. The others were looking at it curiously, examining it. He pulled it back in a shriek. “What are you doing?!” He asked, terrified. She just tilted her head.

“Oh. We brought lego. I wanted to see if your hand is okay.” She answered easily. Hajime raised his brow, but furthered himself away for them. He didn’t like to be touched so easily. Hinami was fine, she did it for him, she hurt with him. But other people touch his hand a lie, take his hand and put him in this hellhole that this hospital. It only hurts in the end.

“Come on! Your name is Hajime-kun, right? I’m Akemi. The girls behind me are Miyu and Momo. The boys are Akihiro, Kyou and Yuki. And this is my nii-chan Ayato!” She pointed to each one of them. Does she think it’s this easy, just telling someone your name and everyone will get along? It’s not easy. He’s never been one to socialize well, but he didn’t appreciate the sudden invasion to his personal space more so as the others came closer. And did she just call him by his given name?

“...Why are you acting so familiar with me?” He replied with a scowl. All of the people in this hospital liked to act as if they knew him so well. He didn’t expect the same damn attitude from kids, a few even looking a bit younger than him. Maybe their smiles weren’t as fake as the adults, but it didn’t matter. In the end they were here because Hinami made them be here - no because they wanted to. He may have trusted her, but not anyone else. There’s always something.

The girl looking at him looked a bit at loss. “What do you mean? We are just talking.” She said, and he gritted his teeth. It also wasn’t lost on him how the so called nii-chan was coming to the front now, his eyes squinted like that at him, watching over. He could hear Hinami sigh. It made his blood boil. They were crossing boundaries and she sighs as she looks at him.

She really does prefer them, doesn’t she.

“Hajime, Akemi-chan is regular speaking like this to other kids from the orphanage…” Hinami pitched in, and his scowl turned to grimace. But is that any excuse, really? And what about the hand thing? Is that excusable too? When his parents were alive, he wasn’t even allowed to make one mistake - even his teeth had been straightened the minute they could fix them. He always had to be perfect.

It was always expected of him - like Hinami told him it was expected of her. So she should understand why he hated it. People that couldn’t care less about them acting so familiar… It just pissed him off. As if that Kamishiro lady on the back of his neck wasn’t enough of a snake trying to fool him into giving away all the money he inherited for a goddamn lung, yapping all the time about how she’d adopt him had she not been so ‘frail’, or about how he would be such a handsome son.

He really didn’t need another group of people doing all of this bullshit act. Even if it was just because Hinami roped them into it.

“Hajime-kun…” Akemi tried to mumble

“Ha-zu-ki-kun.” He corrected, lengthening each syllable. The other kids looked tense as she looked at him with wide eyes. And then they fell into a squint of their own.

“Hajime-kun, I’m familiar with you because I want to be your friend.” She talked back, with a certain edge lacing her voice and causing him to lean away. “Because Hina-chan told us you are nice, and we wanted to come over and talk to you.” She said, leaning in towards him with a frown still, making sure what she was trying to say was clear.

He was about to say something back, but the safety rails of his bed rattled as a hand fell on them. Ayato decided to intervene. “Listen, brat. I know you don’t like this too much. But don’t make your sister a liar, because god knows how much she vouched for you in the last two weeks.” He ended it there.

Don’t make your sister a liar. The bed may have rattled before, but the words themselves echoed in Hajime mind, shaking him up more. He never called Hinami a sister before, but if that’s what it seemed to them they are like, he could only guess she really did talk about him a lot. Like a family member.

He doesn’t understand why she is trying himself sometimes. For everyone in this place he was a lost cause, behavior wise. Only Hinami believed in him, anyway. Only she looked at him with eyes full of hope instead of that same disdain he sees on the doctors faces each and every day passing, weary and tired and of dealing with the same problem child.

Hajime looks at her, and she has a faint, sympathetic smile on. She didn’t like how the situation turned to be. he could tell from how her hands nervously grabbed each other, how close she was to bowing down and apologizing. He didn’t want to make her feel bad, or uncomfortable - it’s the only reason why he agreed to this anyway. He got everything backwards, he realized.

“...Hinami isn’t a liar.” He nearly growls back. He can’t help the anger that resides within him, but he suppresses it. The suggestion itself is maddening to him - she was the only one that had been kind enough to tell him the truth when needed.

Ayato remained unimpressed. An angry, brooding kid wasn’t something he was scared of, no matter how much the preteen tried to intimidate him. “Then you better act like a good kid and make her proud instead.” He tells him, and silence falls on the room. Hajime bites his lips, and Ayato holds his smirk. He certainly won that battle, but being all snarky about it will only piss the kid off.

“...Fine. I’m sorry.” He grits between his teeth. The other children either cheer or break into giggles. Hajime couldn’t tell what happened to the tense atmosphere that dissipated within mere seconds. He was certain that they were all mad. He expression must’ve said it all, because it didn’t take much time for anyone to address it.

“I thought you will take more convincing than that, honestly.” Ayato told him snickering and patting his head, his dark locks messed up more than they had been before. Hajime snapped his head away frowning. The guy was lecturing him just a minute ago! “You really are a good kid.” He adds, and Hajime shuffles away towards Hinami’s side. He doesn’t understand these people.

“You must really adore Hina-chan!” Akemi added in quickly. He contemplated pushing her back to the hospital’s floor. She was seriously annoying - obviously he does. Over the past year he had stayed at this shitty place, she only did well by him, never expecting anything in return. It’s obvious that he would hold her in high regard. And well… that girl doesn’t have to be that obnoxious and straightforward about it.

He scowled again, averting her eyes from the annoying girl. One of the boys in the groups decided it was a good time to interfere. “So… Do you wanna build something?” The boy - Kyou, Hajime remembered - asked as he laid down a box of legos on his bed.

Hajime looked around him. All of the eyes in the room were on him, waiting for him to answer.

“...I guess it works…” He says, and now everyone are much, much more cheery. Hinami pulled down the safety rails so the other children could get closer comfortably. She was smiling. He supposed it wasn’t that bad.

It was empty and quiet today in the orphanage. Touka didn’t like it much. It felt lonely without all the children here with her. To Touka, it was almost absurd to think there would be an actual day without hearing the children whine her name in the request for a hot choco, or to tuck them to bed.

The entire place seemed deserted, only her left behind. It was nearly depressing, but she had to shut down her mind - the kids will be back when the sun will be down, and it’s good for them to go see the hospital. It posed them a possibility to learn if the staff was kind enough, and will allow them to grow more grateful for their good health.

Hinami was also such a good kid. Touka didn’t want disappoint her and tell her she couldn’t take the kids on that small trip. She was so happy thinking about it, Touka didn’t want to ruin it. She can’t really tell what it is, but sometimes, she could see the younger girl let her guard down - and her saddened expression always made Touka’s heart ache.

In the end, it all came down to the fact that Touka was incredibly stressed today as it is. Her gut feeling simply told her something was not right today. The kids would have been wonderful distraction had they been here, but they are not. Nobody was here today but her, and the uncomfortable feeling due to it made her nauseous.

She chalked it all up to her being irrational - she was when the idea to take the kids out was just suggest, it was no wonder it continued when they were on the trip itself. She figured it’ll leave only when she sees they’re back home, Ayato right after them, and maybe even Hinami in tow, dropping by to say hello.

Touka should have known her gut feeling never lies to her. She should’ve stayed inside, she should’ve took a nap, she should’ve gone and hung out with Yoriko or Nishiki the entire day. She shouldn’t have gone outside to take care of the plants out of boredom, she shouldn’t have took her time.

She shouldn’t have seen Kaneki Ken standing near the open gate, his shoulders slumped and his hands in his pockets as he waits for her to notice him. Her heart pounded painfully against her chest as a surge of conflicting emotions hit her right on. On one hand, she wanted to punch his stupid, adoring expression off of his face - he has no right to look at her so adoringly after everything.

On the other hand.. She just wanted to bolt, leave this spot before he makes her melt once again. She grew so strong since she first met him, with his baby face that didn’t suit a fourteen year old at all. She was a stubborn kid with a knack for being rowdy, but even then it didn’t take long until she grew a soft spot for him. It was so easy for him to affect her.

She sincerely doubted it was mutual.

“Touka-chan.” He says, the same way when he used to when he sat near her at her old house after studying with her father, calling her as he promised to do when tutoring time was over. She was afraid this was going to happen, when one day out of nowhere he called her phone ( she should have changed the damned phone number, why did she ever think it was a good idea to insist on keeping it? ) after seven years of not speaking to her, informing her he was now a teacher in Tokyo, that he wanted to talk to her again.

She knew he was around Tokyo. She saw him around, back when Ayato was looking for colleges to apply to. It was around a year back, and she saw him near Kamii where he stood in front of a bunch of kids in uniforms, probably third years in high school looking for colleges themselves. He was probably talking them up about entering Kamii, as she heard from Hinami he’s been there himself.

That day she kept herself holed up in her room. Ayato took care of everything she had to do as she found herself curled up in her bed, trying to handle seeing a man that had gone missing years back carrying on with his life with seemingly no problem at all.

“What are you doing here?” She asked sharply, not looking at him. Despite her need to push him away, out from her life once again, she knew it was better to handle him now. She breathed in and out slowly. It’d make sense they’d see each other, right? His student is helping out here. It’s the only reason he’s here. Nothing else.

“Hinami told me she and Ayato will go to the hospital today with the kids. I.. I wanted to see you again. To talk.” He says. Touka could feel her heart throbbing. Why does he have to play on her heartstrings like this? She was not the one that left. For seven years she had been by herself taking care of her brother and rebuilding her life after everything shattered, and he’s here acting as if nothing happened at all.

Touka had kept avoiding his invitations to go out around together for a reason. It was maddening how much she and her brother had to suffer as orphans to survive, and he, who they considered family at the time, couldn’t even pick up his damned phone as their father was getting thinner and thinner every day. They called him, they called his aunt, they called everywhere they could think in order to find him.

They never got even one call back. It annoys her, to think about those days now. She remembers waiting everyday near her uncle’s phone, sniffing as the sun set and Yomo dragged her back to her futon, a frown plastered on his face as she struggled in his grip. She remembers Ayato looking at her from far away with his scowl, clearly already thinking she’s insane for believing in who he now called  bastard.

He really was. Her father, loving and caring asked everyday how Kaneki was. Touka can’t forgive him for letting her remain without an answer until he died.

As much as Touka wanted to curse at him, she knew better than it - his student was helping around here, and she needed her around. He knew from her constant ‘I can’t meet, I have to take after the kids’ that she was in need of staff, even if admittedly sometimes she just used it as an excuse. Nonetheless, she would have to talk to him in the future for Hinami.

That could be settled on phones though. “I’m busy. Sorry.”  Touka said and headed towards the door quickly. She’d shut the door on him if she needs to. She already proved herself she doesn’t need him. He doesn’t even look like himself, with his stupid white hair dyed so poorly. The roots were starting to show. She wasn’t impressed, if that’s what he was going for.

She felt a hand on her forearm. Her head snapped back and he was staring at her, pleading with his big, grey eyes that grew more and more sorrowful as he kept his gaze. She almost felt bad, but she shook her head and shrugged it off. “What are you doing?!”

“Touka, please I need yo-”

“We needed you too back then.” She shoved him away, entering the orphanage and locking the door behind her.

She can’t trust him.

Ayato was pleasantly surprised from how things worked out at the hospital. Although there was a lot of banter between the children, and the fact he had to stop a fight from occurring when Akemi tried to touch Hajime’s teeth ( “They are abnormally straight!” “My parents were dentists!” ), it seemed like the children mostly get along with the brat.

He wasn’t the friendliest but he worked with them. He really did try his hardest after the quarrel earlier today. He even made a lego forte for Kyou after he had to break it to him he couldn’t build a tower on his hospital bed. And he didn’t even stop when Hinami left the room, so Ayato could really see he’s attempting to be nice.

“Where did she go?” Miyu asked Ayato, her eyes still glued to the door Hinami had shut behind her. To tell the truth, Ayato didn’t really know - Hinami just rushed out as a bespectacled doctor entered the room. He said he just wanted to reaffirm she’s here, but left with no other words necessary. Hinami then excused herself, saying she had remembered something important. Looking at the hour, she even bid her goodbyes early, as she knew they were about to leave.

Ayato gave back an unsure, prolonged ‘uh’. Miyu just seemed confused, and the tiniest bit upset. Well, she was one of the kids that grew attached to Hinami more. He wore an uncomfortable expression on his face, teeth tightened as they were on display and brows up. He didn’t like disappointing the kids, but it’s not like he could pull an Hinami radar out of his ass.

“She went to see her mom.” Hajime intervened, not tearing his eyes away from the lego forte he made earlier, only adding more to it with Kyou. “The doctor with the glasses was her dad. This day, every week, he treats her himself. Hinami always prefers to visit her after.” He explained. The other kids gave a short ‘ah’ as Ayato grew curious. Her mother was a patient the hospital? She said her dad works here, and that she occasionally helps out too, but  nothing about her mom. At least not to him.

Akemi nodded just like all the other children, but plopped her upper body on the hospital bed, only to lift her hands to support her head. “Hajime-kun, how did you meet Hina-chan?” She asked. Hajime flushed red. It made a good contrast against his dark, blue tinted hair. Ayato was a bit intrigued too.

“Why does that matter?” He asked evasively, ignoring her question.

“Because you are sort of mean but you try not to be for her.” She answered back frankly, and he almost croaked, and had to cough for a bit to fix his barely teenage breaking voice. Ayato would’ve laughed, but he didn’t want to stop their banter. Too funny, and possibly could lead to interesting things. “You try to act cuter or something? I think?”

“Shut up!” Hajime nearly screeched. “You think wrong!” He said, now coughing some more.  Ayato was almost concerned. Hinami told him Hajime has a punctured lung, and it was not functioning well. He must be in pain if he’s coughing.

“So tell me how you met!” Akemi pressed a bit more.

“Fine!” He said back, and wiped his mouth with his arm. “Fine, I’ll tell you. Just shut up.”

Akemi looked at him, anticipating. The rest of the kids did too, and Ayato made sure to keep an ear open for the story.

“I met her at the hospital, the day I got into the accident.” He started.

He woke up to an unknown room. An unknown room, and a bunch of people in white uniforms hovering above him. He could barely find it in himself to talk to them - what happened? He doesn’t understand. What are they doing? He didn’t manage to focus on their voices. The beating of his heart was so strong he felt as he could feel the pounding in his ears.

They didn’t even notice he was awake from how weak he was, submissive as they worked on him. He could feel needles stab his body - he hated it, he hated it so much, even when his parents operated on his mouth he hated it! Where are they? They need to make this stop! He managed out a strong enough yelp, so they realize he’s awake.

“Hajime-kun, you are in the hospital, do you remember what happened?” They asked him. He tried to think. Tried so hard. His head was in shambles at the moment, everything just hurt. If it’s a hospital, aren’t they supposed to make this better? He needs painkillers. His dad and mom would never let it happen in their clinic.

He only remembered small glimpses of it all. He remembered him and his parents being in a slippery road. His father drove a bit fast, and he remembered his mother giggling saying that he should slow down. Then he remembers a family van in front of them. He remembers he saw Shio Ihei in it. A kid from his neighborhood. His family was the slightest bit richer than his.

All he remembers from thereon out, was the sound of a big boom, before all his memories faded to black. Hajime suddenly realized what was going on. Tears of distress started falling from his eyes as he kept flailing, trying to see where his parents are. He couldn’t see them anywhere, and he turned even whiter than the wall.

“Hazuki-kun, you are stabilized, but you need to rest! you’ll open your wound if you do this, please calm down!” One of the nurses said. He didn’t want to calm down. He was all alone here, and everything hurt, and he can’t see his parents! He screeched, pushing the staff away from him.

“Where are mom-- and dad?!” He was so choked up but he managed to say it somehow. They tried to set him an IV drip, but he couldn’t care less for that at the moment. He kicked at the hands pressing him down. “W-where?!”

“Ah… You mom and dad are at the ER, they’re being treated right now. It’s okay… They’ll get out, rest, and you all will go home.” The doctor in front of him tells him, but the smile he wears doesn’t reach his eyes, and Hajime only grows more worried. He stops flailing and just cries harder, trembling as the tears fall down his cheeks.

He ignored the world as they put the IV drip on him, and gave him all the painkillers he needed. He needed them, but his pain didn’t leave, only replaced by his emotions that overflew him within seconds. It was as if his whimpers went unnoticed by the entire staff, as if they couldn’t find it in themselves to care. How did he find himself in a room full of people, feeling so lonely? Their indifference made him feel as if he’s a lost cause.

He’d rather just die like this.

Soon, they all started to leave as they finished treating him. The room grew quieter by the moment, and it was maddening. Before the doctor left he told him somebody would come by later to tell him how his parents are doing and watch if he needs extra care. Where is that person? He needs someone here. He can’t breathe, something feels wrong when he does, not enough air. He can’t relax like this - he’s going crazy.

The door to his room opened in a haste, and a girl in a uniform entered the room. What is this person doing here? She’s not a doctor. Is she even allowed to be here? At his state there is hardly any reason for them to allow visitors, much less strangers into his room. But she still perked up as she saw him, from some odd reason. She comes closer, sitting next to his bed on a stool that was brought there earlier.

“How are you feeling?” She asks him. He frowns. Obviously he’s been feeling like crap - he has a punctured lung, and they said he had a concussion earlier. His head took a few tough blows, apparently, and he guessed that’s why he heard the nurse say he’s not alright in the head. He doesn’t really understand them, but he guessed it didn’t matter as he had been on painkillers already, even if it didn’t stop the burn he feels when he tries to breathe.

“Bad.” He doesn’t waste his breath. Hajime’s body feels so weak, but he is forced into moving as he coughs. Coughing hurts. His body is trying to kill him and he could see a few drops of blood on his hand. The doctors warned him about it. Told him to be careful if he starts coughing blood. Tears that rose to his eyes again, now from discomfort, fell. “I-I… want mom and dad.”

The girl in front of him holds her her breath watching him. “Your mom and dad are still in the ER… Their surgeries take much longer, I’m sorry. If I could let you see them sooner, I would... I’m Hinami Fueguchi, I’m the daughter of one of the doctors in this hospital. How about I’ll stay with you until your mom and dad will be able to come?” She smiled sympathetically at him.

He wanted to scream. Will they be able to come at all? How long has he been here by himself? How long can a surgery take? Does this girl even understand what he feels like at the moment? “Do you even know how it is like to wait?” He gritted through his teeth.

Hajime just threw that sentence at her because he was angry. He didn’t really expect the flinch it earned from her, or the way her head fell to look at the floor. “Yes. It’s why they sent me here, Hazuki-kun.” She answered. “I’ve been waiting for my own mother for a bit, already.”

He feels a bit guilty, bringing up the topic, but more than that, he feels at loss. What is quite a bit? Is it a long time? Would he have to wait for them for that long too? He wants back to their arms. Even if it means the scolding when he eats too much sweets, or their perfectionism when it comes to how he should be like. Hajime wails.

She takes his hand in hers. Her hold is tight, and the warmness of her hand is somehow comforting enough that he can reduce his cries to sniffles. As if she took his pain into her, her eyes become glassy too. “Would you let me wait with you?” She asks again, her voice the slightest bit strained.

He holds her hand back. He doesn’t know her. She’s a stranger. But right now, he’s in a strange place, and he doesn’t want to be alone. “Yes.”

He falls asleep not long after.

When morning comes, Hinami is still there on the stool next to his bed, and holding his hand.

It’s seven o’clock and Hinami found herself lingering near her mother’s bed silently. She knew for a fact Ayato and the children left already - she actually heard them passing by, or more correctly, making a ruckus in the hospital around half an hour ago. Banjou came by to tell her how funny it was to see a young adult dragging away three children from Hajime’s room, yelling at them it’s time to go home.

Hinami smiled to herself at the thought. It really was a good idea to bring the kids over here. She could imagine Hajime’s face - probably embarrassed, telling them to leave already. She barely saw him with a smile these days, but she couldn’t help but imagine him with one for this scenario. Hinami already saw glimpses of enjoyment in his eyes as he played today. He may have stayed in bed as always, but she knew this could be a start of a welcomed change, should this become a regular occurence.

She felt pride surge through her. Hinami was glad she could help Hajime, even if it was just by bringing over people he could talk to. If only it was possible with her mother… Hinami sighed. Her mother’s serene features were just the same as she was healthy and lively, but the way her body remained in fixed position, not even a lift of a finger, made her look more like a wax doll rather than her mom.

The heart monitor was the only comfort she was provided with - Hinami liked to imagine that sometimes when it moves and shows the lines that go up and down, it was actually her mother answering her. It may have been the machine, but that idea helped her cope better with the coma. At least the heart monitor answers, even if it’s just an annoying ‘beep’ to anyone else.

Right now, speaking to her mom seemed like a good idea - she had two tiring weeks where she didn’t get to really be with her mother, and it was a source of comfort she very much needed these days. Hinami sat near Ryouko’s bed. She longingly eyed her hand, but unlike Hajime, she knows Ryouko will not hold her hand back. Her hands stay on her knees.

“Hey, Okaa-san.” She greets, a bit hesitantly. She talked to her mother like this before, but the unnatural feeling of it all never goes away. It’s awkward while it’s happening, but she decides it’s worth it as she usually feels better afterwards. “I got my Biology test yesterday. You know, the one I thought I failed? Well, I got full marks.” She told her, sparing a look at the heart monitor, that showed the lines rising high.

Hinami wonders if it meant her mom was happy. “Sorry I didn’t came by ever since I told you..  I just had two tough weeks. But everything is getting better lately, too. Do you remember Hajime kun? That kid I told you we have to adopt when you wake up?” She giggled as she said it. Hajime only calls her Hinami, but she sees him as a little brother. And he didn’t seem to dislike the idea when Ayato called her his sister.

“I convinced him to meet a few of the children I’m seeing at the orphanage today. I think he had fun, Okaa-san. I’m so happy for him… And also, I get along pretty well now with the people in the orphanage. I don’t think Kirishima-kun hates me anymore. Though I’m not sure why he did in the first place.” She kept talking. The lines on the heart monitor rose a little less than before, and Hinami decided it meant ‘go on.’

“Kirishima-san, though, well - I mean his sister, is really nice to me. Maybe she feels kind of bad after what happened with her brother. But it’s fine, everything else is going smoothly.” Another small, short jump on the heart monitor. “Chiasa and Kanna as usual are over the top.. But they’ve been really supportive lately. They took me to an ice cream shop because I was sad. That day ended up being a nice day.” Another short, slow line appears.

“So… Everything is really getting better Okaa-san. I’m really happier lately. Even if Otou-san is not around as much anymore..” Hinami said. The room grew quiet. Hinami looked at the heart monitor, and saw a flat line.

Her heart dropped. “O-Okaa-san? Okaa-san!” Her first response was to reach for her mother, shaking her by her shoulder. Soon enough Hinami realized it’s not going to help - she’s wasting time. Her mother is in danger and she’s wasting time. Hinami ran out of the room, screaming for the nurses outside.

This cannot be happening. The heart monitor isn’t moving at all, it’s been three minutes, why does it not move, why won’t her mother answer?  “Somebody! Please help!” She yells through the hall. On any other circumstance she wouldn’t yell, it’s not allowed, but right now, screw the hospital and its rules.

A couple of nurses she knows rush to her, entering the room. Hinami feels relief showering over her. They could help, they’ll call the doctors. It’s going to be alright, like every emergency case she has ever saw occur. Right?

But the nurses, they don’t move. They are watching her mom withering away, doing nothing. Looking at Hinami with pity reflecting in their eyes and whispering between themselves. Hinami feels the rage welling up inside her. “What the hell are you doing?! Help her! Please!” She screams at them, and they both flinch. But they don’t move.

“Why are you just standing there?!” Hinami, at this point was crying. She could swear she could see her mother’s skin turning into a white, dreadful shade. Hinami’s heart was about to pound out of her chest - if only she could have given those beats to her mother to have.

One of the nurses finally decided to open her mouth. “Hinami-chan, we’re not allowed to-”

“What do you mean, not allowed to?!” She didn’t need to hear the rest. She knows already what they’re about to say. Since when did the hospital decide to give up on her mother? Does her father know about this? There is no way he would agree to this! He threatened to leave the hospital back when she just fell into the coma!

“We were told that her condition is not redeemable, Hinami-chan… She just gets worse… We were told to not do anything, should this happen…” They were told to let her die.

“By who?!” She screams at the top of her lungs.

“By me.” Hinami hears a masculine voice to her left, and her head snaps towards it, right away. Her lips tremble. A man with a white robe and thin, sharply designed eyewear enters the room. Her father enters the room.

He doesn’t spare even one glance at his dying wife.

Hinami wants to fall to the ground, scream, shout and throw a tantrum. She wants to go to her father and tell him he’s an asshole and that she doesn’t want to see him ever again, and she wants to go to her poor mother, and cover her ears as he says he doesn’t want to keep her between the living anymore, knowing that Ryouko could not do it herself. She wanted so much - but her hands feel so tied.

“She’s not going to wake up, Hinami. Stop your tantrum, it’s a hospital. People are sleeping in the rooms nearby.” She can’t believe what she’s hearing. She can barely bring herself to weep. Hinami is frozen in spot as her eyes widen at him. How can he be so calm about this?

Hinami drags her feet to her father, tears still falling down her cheeks, her sniffles sound as pitiful as she is at the moment. “O-Otou-san, please, you are doctor, you can save her! You can save Okaa-san, please!” The fact she even has to beg her father to save her mom was ridiculous to her. Disgustingly ridiculous.

“No.” He says. Hinami whimpers louder, holding onto his white uniform robe. Instead of sadness, anger surges, and she looks up to him, glaring. “It’s your job! What kind of doctor are you when you can’t even help your own family!” She pushes him away she yells, only to lung at him again. Her hands are in small fists, and she hits him across his chest.

“I hate you! I hate you so much! I know you wouldn’t do anything for me, but I didn’t think you’d be that horrible to leave her behind too!” She keeps yelling. The world around her doesn’t matter, all of these rooms are the same anyway. All of these people are the same. Hypocrites. Her mother is gone and it’s because they chose not to save her.

“Hinami-” Her father starts again, holding onto her arm but she cuts him off, pushing it away.

“Don’t touch me.” She growls at him, her voice bitter and strained.

She already knows that he won’t listen to her. That he won’t save her mother. Staying in this humiliating position where even her dad won’t listen to her as people watch them was not something she could bear anymore. She cannot bring herself to look back, Hinami is scared to see what’s lying on the bed behind her.

She could see him inching towards her. The reaper has no scythe, has no weapon in his arms. He is lurking her from behind the lamp post at the edge of the street, hiding in the shadows with his black coat covering him from top to bottom. His glasses shine against the fluorescent light that reveals his face to her, expression hardened to a scowl.

Touka has been seeing him for weeks now. She’s on her deathbed, she realized when she first did. If you see your reaper coming closer and closer, they you must live your life to the fullest, because you shall lose them in the days that are to come.  

This saying was a golden rule by the people of this world. But Touka doesn’t work quite like that. She cannot let herself enjoy her days. She cannot break her uncle’s heart any more than it already is. He never recovered after the crash that killed her family. She didn’t recover either.

Her father, her mother - they all kept their death status a secret, and so will she. Her parents spent the last days of their lives trying to make their children happy instead of making themselves happy. Taking them on trips and running around caring for her and Ayato, instead of letting themselves enjoy the last moments of their lives.

And Ayato. He was a sweet summer child, barely turning four at the time. How couldn’t have she noticed the signs back then, when he called out to a person that was not there. Always trying to reach something beyond him, smiling to what sealed his death. Never crying. He was more scared of worms than his reaper, she realized later on. It made her determined. Made her decide to be brave.

So she looks at the reaper behind her once, and doesn’t look back. Every time she walks, she could hear him walking behind her, in precise steps that don’t let him be any more closer than necessary. His cold aura sends shivers to her spine, and she picks up her pace. She knows he cannot come any closer today, but she can’t help but fear.

Despite all her losses, she was taught to continue forward, that it’s only natural to live while losing things. But dying was not what she feared.

It’s the need to turn around once again and walk up to him. It was the feeling that in the face of death itself, something else is there. Not just the sheer cold he radiates. Not just the distance that remains until the day he takes her from this world.

She feared the humanity she sees in him when he gives her his one last look for tonight. His brows furrowed, facing upwards and his eyes wide as he looks at her. His lips curve downwards from their neutral line shape, and she cannot figure for the life of her, why does he look just as defeated as she was.

She sits on the couch next to her uncle. Uncle Yomo was always quite a weird man. Not bad, but just quiet and guarded. Touka likes sitting with him to drink coffee on cold evenings like these. The snow falling outside made everything just a little calmer as the coffee aroma reached her nostrils, but being with him made her feel the slightest bit safer. The fact he didn’t speak much put them in a comfortable silence.

Today, her reaper was so close that she could see him sitting on the chair in front of her and her uncle. She tried to avoid looking to his side as much as she could. She didn’t want to scare her uncle, or wound him any more than he already does.

Usually Touka was much more comfortable with Yomo, but seeing her reaper only set her on edge. She hadn’t done this since she had been a little girl, but she scooted over closer to Yomo on the couch. He was a guarding raven, wise and aware of how to terrify a person to the bone. If there is one person Touka can trust to calm her, keep her safe, it’s him.

“...Touka?” He asks. It’s always like this. When sees even a smidge of discomfort in her eyes, he would say her name, and it will already be clear to her he wants to know what is the problem. Touka forces a smile, a sigh escaping her lips as brings her legs up to hug them.

“It’s nothing. I’m just a little cold. I think there are starting to be icicles outside…” She lets out a fake laugh, and Yomo sips his coffee as he nods. He takes a blanket that is on the next couch to them and gives it to her. She smiles at him back, covering herself. From some reason, her reaper shifts in his place, hiding his face from her now.

It’s not much. It’s a small, old blanket. It wasn’t made of the best fabric in the market, it wasn’t the most comfortable. But it felt like home. Touka remembers the day she had gotten the blanket, no matter how much she tries to forget it. It was the day after the car crash, when they had told her her little brother and mother had died already. Only her father was still fighting his fate in the surgery room.

She remembers a small boy coming by her as she waited outside of ER, waiting for the results of her father’s operation. She remembers him giving her this small blanket, telling her to cover up, because it is night and she will get cold, waiting the way she did on those freezing metal chairs.

“I’m here because my mother is sick… She has a fever. One of her coworkers made her go when they noticed. So I’m waiting until she feels better.” He told her, as she refused to say a word. Touka wiped her tears with her small hand, both her eyes and skin reddish.

Touka was silent, but she wanted to scream, to warn him - people don’t always tell you when the end is there. That his mother might not get better. Because every second that passed by today proved her that more and more.

Her family did not stay with her, and it was getting colder as the fact was sinking in her brain. She has lost fate in her father to come out alive from this. She heard the whispers of the doctors, she doesn’t need to know more.

The boy around her wrapped the blanket around her himself when he saw she wasn’t doing anything with the blanket. His big grey eyes looked at her unsure as he did, if it was okay.

“You need this more than I do. It’ll be alright.” The boy told her. He said, looking back, to the distance. He looks a bit troubled himself, if she had to be honest. “What’s your name?” he asked her, smiling despite everything else.

“Touka.” Can she say Kirishima, when her entire family is gone? she didn’t even have grandparents with the name alive. He smiled.

“Kirishima-chan, I’m Kaneki Ken. My mother is in the next room to where your family been. You can come by and eat with us. my mother’s coworker also made her cake.” He gave her one last kind look, and waved goodbye as he walked to his room.

And she was alone, waiting in the lit, white hall in front of the double doors. A doctor comes out of the ER a few hours later, when it is already early morning, waking her up from a weak slumber she had fallen into.

“I’m… missy, I’m sorry. Do you have any other family member we can call?” He asks her, eyes full of guilt.

Touka covers herself in the blanket Kaneki has brought her the day before, covering herself and shielding her face from the world around her as she cries.

This blanket would be her only source of warmth for days to come.

Today, Touka was tutoring one of the favorite girls she knows across the neighborhood in biology. Her name was Hinami Fueguchi and she was a small, sixteen year old sunshine. A private school child, well mannered and sweet, though a little bit shy.

She was one of those people that made your heart melt quickly, with naivety and curiousness being the main qualities she presents.

“Nee-chan, I know this is not biology, but do you know what the answer for this question?” Hinami asks her, pulling out a Japanese notebook. It was a simple choice question, simply asking how a kanji is supposed to be read. It was high leveled though.

Touka wasn’t the best in Japanese, but she could try. She pondered between the options. This is something that would be on her tests - you learn that kanji when in college, she believed. Biting her lips, she tried to process what is the right answer. Hinami was always so ambitious when it came to Japanese…

Suddenly, Touka saw a hand coming to her vision line. She looked forward in shock as she saw her reaper, now only table length away from her pointing at answer number three. Her stomach was in a turmoil. Was that a thing, that reapers will suddenly act more as your last day is approaching? It was hard to remain calm at this point.

Touka circles the answer with a pen she had in hand, giving the notebook back to Hinami. “I-I think it’s this one.” She forced out a laugh, averting her eyes from her reaper as much as possible. The girl in front of her pursued her lips, not understanding Touka’s bizarre actions.

“Nee-chan…. Can I ask you about something personal? My mom doesn’t know about this….” Hinami asks her another question. Touka tilted her head in response. There was barely anything Ryouko did not know about her daughter - they had the closest mother-daughter relationship she had seen. She calmed herself down from the scare her reaper has given her, breathed in the cold air in the room and nodded.

“Of course.”

“I, uh… Have been seeing my reaper lately…” She told her and Touka’s breath hitched. Even if she must live with losses - does she have to lose everyone around her? Her mouth was gaping and she was about to panic, but Hinami immediately raises her hands, waving them around in defense. “I’m fine! he’s still pretty far away… But today…”

“But today what?” She asked her urgently, her tone piercing. If there is anything out of the ordinary, something has to be done.

“I… came over here, and I could see him when we were outside the house crying…” Hinami clutched her skirt, her fists tightened on the fabric. She was a bit shaky as she said that. “He always looked neutral as he watched me, but today he just broke down and I… don’t know what to think of that. Is something going to happen to me? Did something happen to him? I am….” With no warning, tears welled up in the corners of her eyes.

Touka scooted over to Hinami, hugging her tightly, muffling her wails. “Reapers…. are strange things, Hinami. You can never know what is going on with them. But you will be alright. Some things will reveal themselves to us as they come.” She said, looking at her reaper, hoping from some answers in his eyes that hide themselves behind his glasses, as Hinami’s tears stained her shirt.

She almost wanted to cry herself when she saw him mouthing “I’m sorry.”

She was in her bed, sitting straight as her reaper stood near her, leaning on the wall. It was nerve wracking. In any moment today, she can die. But she will not know when, she will not know how, until the moment will come. Should she write goodbye letters? Does she even have the time to by now?

Somehow, her reaper looks more pained then she is. It annoyed her. She was going to die, but he is the one with the sour expression. Does he pity her? She doesn’t need it. She lived through the past few days knowing exactly what’s going to happen.

Touka glares daggers at him, despite the fact he is completely focused on the wall in front of them, not letting himself look at her at all.

She wished that at those moments, she would see that kind boy from the hospital once again. That he would be there to give her a blanket or a cake send her off with one last pinch of sweetness. That boy disappeared so long ago - She was told by the hospital staff that his mother died, and now they have no way of contacting him.

Touka was so sad at the time - She wanted to return him the blanket he gave her, as he probably needed it just as much as she had at the time. Touka remembers fondly how he let her into his mother’s room, let her stuff her face with the cake he talked about earlier as she cried and waited for her uncle to arrive to the hospital.

He didn’t force her to talk, didn’t tell her anything unnecessary. Just waited with her until she could bring herself to wipe her tears and snot away from her face. He was a calming warmth for the coldest day she had been through her life. She wished she could return him the favor.

She wished everything was that easy, but it’s not. He wasn’t there anymore for her to return him the favor, and she had no more time for that either. The blanket was on her today - she couldn’t bring herself to part from it as the coldness that erupted from the reaper near her touched her skin. She was so, so cold.

Touka rose from her bed, going towards the heater in the end of her room. The cold around her was numbing her body, she could not stay in place anymore.  She took the blanket with her, laying it on her as she sat across the heater, her palms spreaded out towards the machine. Her reaper sat behind her, watching her quietly as she tried to warm herself up. Neither of them said a word. Touka looked back at him. He had beautiful grey eyes behind his glasses. It still made her mad the he was acting depressed when it was her that is going to disappear soon, but the sadness in his eyes made him seem as if he was grieving himself.

“...Why are you looking at me like that?” She asked him.

No answer.

“Why did you help me that day with Hinami?” She asked again, a bit louder than before.

No answer.

“Why won’t you tell me what’s your problem?!” She shouted at him, grabbing onto his coat, pulling him towards her, growing madder as the seconds pass.

“Touka.” It became hot. Too hot, suddenly. He talked to her and something in her cracked. He smiled at her sadly as he took her hand in hers. She couldn’t breathe. Everything was so hot, firey, she couldn’t concentrate, she was sweating, her legs burned.

“W-What are you doing to me?” She said, her voice choked, eyes still locked on to his pale grey ones. She felt a scorch all across her body. He hugged her, pulling her close to him. His body was so cool, it enabled her relief - but it still didn’t explain why everything hurt.

“Touka, Look down.” He looked down at the ground, and her eyes went to the same place as his, and soon widened. Her blanket got caught on fire. The wooden flooring did as well, and the fire climbed up to her clothes. The flames danced around in colors of orange, yellow and red, and she felt the burnt.

She held on to her reaper. Her reaper, her cold, saving grace that protected her from the pain that spread around her as the fire were feeding on her room and herself. She screamed - everything was so hot, overwhelmingly so, but she still managed to feel droplets of liquid falling down her collarbone. She looked up at her reaper, who was now crying himself.

“I’m sorry, Touka. I should have never brought you that blanket. I… You wouldn’t have been in this situation, if I hadn’t. I’m sorry, Touka. So, so sorry.” He said as he settled his head on her shoulder, the coldness he radiated preventing the flames to rise up beyond her chest.

Brought her the blanket? No, that was Kaneki, that sweet boy with soft dark hair and clear grey eyes. Kaneki brought her the blanket, before he disappeared, before she could bring it to him back. Kaneki did…

But what happened to Kaneki?  a question made her rethink. She barely could even think in this atmosphere, where everything hurt, where her heart pounded like crazy, but she still did. Her reaper - he looks like him, but… how could it even be?

“A-Are you?...” She asked. She was trembling in his arms, everything hurt, but everything that wasn’t this didn’t matter, at this second. Before she disappears, she needs to know.

“I wish…. I could give you more cake, instead of being like this, Touka. I passed on too early for that too.” He said, his smile forced, tears in his eyes falling again down his cheeks as he lifts his face from her shoulder, putting his forehead on hers. He confirmed it. “I-I, always wanted…. to give you the blanket… back. To see you… again.” She says between choking on the lack of air. The house was slowly collapsing, but he held her tightly in her hands, his hold stronger than ever. Even if the house breaks down, she’s in his safe hands.

“I always wanted to see you too.” He tells her, lifting her up in his hands. “We have to go now, Touka.” She held onto him, latched to the black jacket he had on with her last strength. She begged fate he won’t tell her he’ll leave now. She cannot handle it - she just found him.

“Don’t… Leave….” She could only bare to say. Until one she lost is finally back, she doesn’t want to let go.

“From now on, I’ll be able to be by your side. This was my last job before passing on.” He told her, calming her down in his arms as she was starting to lose consciousness. “I’ve always been waiting.” He whispered to her ear, and her eyes fluttered shut.

In retrospect, Hinami should’ve known better than to fill up yesterday with things. She really enjoyed being with the kids, both those in the hospital and those in the orphanage, but it was one thing to do it when you have nothing to worry about and another to do it while you are having an important exam the next day.

She stared at the paper in horror, the only sentence in her mind that is somehow valid to anything in this biology exam was ‘the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell’, and that is also because Kanna decide to use it as her official go to meme of the week, dedicated for this exam especially. It was funny to both her and Chiasa, but right now the thought of not being able to answer anything else terrified Hinami to her core.

The open questions in front of her, the blank lines that asked to be filled tormented and mocked her as she continued to stare at them, her sudden blackout of all what her father helped her with only worsening, and she is plagued with thoughts that made her heart drop. Father will be so disappointed, if this will be the one time I fail…

It scared her. She doesn’t see her father every day. In fact, lately, she barely sees him at all. He’s always tired if he returns home. Even if she made them dinner that day, he’ll give her a dry apology, and brush her off. If not forgotten, whatever she had made would be the scraps he eats in the middle of the night, and the only proof he touched them would be the dirty dishes left behind for her to clean in the morning.

She never sees him happy anymore. Not since her mother became ill. He’d rather spend all of his time in the hospital near her bed, but as a cost, he barely ever got to think of his daughter back home. And it wasn’t like she could blame him, even. When her mother just got ill, Hinami was basically average in everything she did. She never lived up to the expectation of being the doctor’s daughter. She was nothing he could be proud of.

He still loved her all the same then. He never told her he wasn’t happy with how she was. But she was nothing he would boast about either - if he ever talked about anyone, he talked about his scholar wife, who was an amazing professor and mother in her own right. He barely introduced his daughter to anyone at work though. In fact, her mother herself had to introduce her to Banjou-san back when she was still healthy.

Now, even that was ruined. He didn’t look at her twice if he didn’t have too.  He misses her calls and her texts are usually answered with one word if at all. He’s so invested in the hospital now she wonders if he even remembers what home is.

But yet.. when she managed to get a good score on a test, when the people around her people around her praised her, when she finally managed to elevate herself from the disappointment she had been last year… Hinami could see a small smile forming on her father’s face. Sometimes, he’d even ruffled her hair, messing it up, but she couldn’t care the slightest bit for the hairstyle.

It gave her hope, that she could help him regain his happiness while mother was healing. That she could do something on her own, if she tried her best, if she managed to reach the top like she wanted. She could…

She didn’t even notice she had tears in her eyes, but a tear fell down on the paper, soaking it as the spot it hit darkened slightly. Hinami blinked out the rest of the tears, shaking her head, mad at herself for even letting them surface. Her hand tightened around her pen, her fingers pressing against it in strain.

I’m not a handout.

Sentences come to her mind as words are being written on the blank spaces she was intimidated of previously, the ink spread across the paper in a perfect, almost calligraphic handwriting. It all went by all so quickly, and with barely ten minutes passing, Hinami had completed each and every question on the test successfully.

Hinami rises from her chair, other students stare, their eyes moving from the clock on the wall to her in shock. She settles her pencil case and everything else in her bag before picking it up and walking to the teacher, handing it out wordlessly, her lips pressed in a thin line as the teacher took it from her hand hesitantly. The teacher was about to question her - after all, they’ve only been around twenty minutes in, when the test is supposed to take an hour and a half. There was so much time left, after all. She knew her teacher would to suggest her to stay, check over the exam, make sure everything is right.

So she walked away to the door, shutting the sliding door behind her quietly and quickly, so at the very least she will remain the same respectful, smart girl to look up to everyone made her into the past year. She was holding her sniffles in, until now, but right now she’s free to agonize herself as much as she wanted with the thoughts in her head.

She bit her lips, heading to the girls’ bathroom. The hallway won’t be empty for forever, and her eyes won’t hold the rising tears that made them glassy. Her entire grade still seemed to be in their exam. At least she was a bit lucky today. No one to encounter by mistake, no one to bug her in her state.

Hinami reached the bathroom, and dragged her feet in front of one of the sinks there. she stared at her watery eyes, rubbing them with her hands while breathing in and out, trying to calm down her speedy, racing heart that insisted on aching upon letting her mind wander. She sniffled, frowning at the reflection she saw in the mirror. After a few minutes, she heard footsteps outside of the bathroom. She quickly turned on the sink, splashing water at her face, rubbing away the tears. Hinami doesn’t need anyone questioning her at the moment. There are barely any people that know of her situation at home, and she wasn’t in the mood to explain herself or find excuses.

“Hina-chan!” Chiasa exclaimed as she entered through the door, Kanna following right behind her. Hinami was a bit surprised to see them, neither of the girls are too good in biology. She herself never excelled in it either, but both of her friends usually spent much more time reviewing their exam papers before handing them in.

Kanna came forth and grabbed Hinami by the face, her lips pouted angrily as she searched something, looking deep into  Hinami’s eyes. Her cheeks puffed before she turned to Chiasa again. “Her eyes are red! I told you I saw her crying!” Kanna said, and grabbed Hinami, pulling her to a big bear hug, so tightly that Hinami couldn’t breathe. She didn’t know if it was from bone crushing embrace or the fact they realized she was crying.

Chiasa stopped the other girls, and rubbed Hinami’s back. “You noticed?...” Hinami asked, trying to force a little laugh as her expression fell to to an almost broken smile. A smile that barely keeps itself together, the pieces of it falling apart as if they were attached with cheap glue that allowed it to disguise the true feelings that ruled her.

“Kanna noticed it.. She left the room and kicked my chair to tell me to get out too before that.” Chiasa explained, her hand now holding Hinami’s tightly. Hinami sniffled in front of them, letting her fake expression disappear and turn to the frown it hid before.

“I thought things were going better now… You are even talking to Kaneki-sensei now, so I thought… I thought you were better.. I’m so sorry I didn’t notice, Hina-chan..” Kanna said as she nuzzled into her. Hinami remembered the day she told both of her friends her mother state, weeping in the process. They have always been there for her, but she remembers their terrified faces, filled with guilt and helplessness, knowing they cannot help her like the wanted to.

Hinami shook her head into Kanna’s shoulder. It wasn’t her fault that she was always silent about everything. “I’m okay…” She said, but her voice was betraying her, cracking slightly.

Chiasa frowns. “Hina-chan, I haven’t seen you like this ever since the incident with your mother… You’ve been so much more happy after Kaneki-sensei helped you when it started. I was hoping that now that you two are talking more it would have helped.. but I guess we should’ve done more. I’m sorry.” She apologizes as well. Hinami feels more guilty than calm.

“It’s been… going okay. I am just stressed out..” She insists, and Kanna lifts her head and looks at her eyes, and Hinami can swear she sees fire through them, and has no doubt that had the grade not been in an exam, she would have screamed at Hinami out of frustration. Instead, she hisses a little with her teary dark eyes open wide for Hinami to see.

“Don’t you say you are okay when you aren’t! If something happens, we do notice! Please… Did things get worse with your mom? Is everything okay? If you let us know maybe we can help, somehow…” The glassy eyed girl preached, moving with each word she said, as if she’s trying to shake Hinami into understanding her, trying to force her way to let her friend spill what’s on her mind.

Hinami released a noise that was some kind of combination of a sniffle and laugh. There is a little that could actually end up worse, when it comes to her mother. There’s little that can be worse than the comatose status her mother currently held. The hospital manager barely even wanted to keep the woman in there, it was only because her father as a doctor of his calibre was too valuable to lose that he allowed it to last this long.

But enough of that. There is no way that she can tell that to Kanna and Chiasa, it will only worry them more. It hurts to stay quiet, especially when it came to the two of them, but there was little they could do and she was always walking on eggshells when she was with her father or at the hospital - she doesn’t want to go through the process of of the pitiful stares and apologetic smiles with her best friends too.

“No. No.. I am just feeling a bit bad lately. I think I flunked the test… I guess I got too emotional because of it. I’m sorry I worried you.” She puts on her best smile she can give with tears still threatening to fall from her eyes, taking both of her friends’ hands in hers. “Thank you two, anyway.” She said, and despite the fact they didn’t seem fully convinced, they both still squeezed her hand back.

“Hey, what is going on here?” Near the bathroom’s door, Kaneki sensei stood, looking mildly concerned. He didn’t pass the line to actually enter the bathroom, simply standing awkwardly with papers in hand, unsure of what to do. “I may not be allowed to enter this bathroom, but if I discover you girls are swapping cheats or something I will not hesitate to… eh, stand here until you’d have to come out!” He said, trying to sound authoritative, but failing as it sounded as if he was questioning himself.

He did peek his head through to the room itself, though. He raised a brow as he saw Hinami and her friends, but his expression immediately shifted to a troubled one as he saw their faces. “Hey, is everything okay? It’s just an exam, I promise to you nothing is as bad as it seems!” He said, trying to comfort the red eyed, sniffling girls in front of him. Kanna and Chiasa gave each other a look.

“Sensei! Hina-chan had been feeling sad because of the exam. Can you talk to her a little? We’ve been trying to cheer her up, but I think you’d know better than us what to say.” Chiasa says and Hinami wants to die on the spot. She finds herself eyeing one of the the bathroom stools. Do they have a window behind them for her to escape? jumping off from floor two sounded like a brilliant option at the moment.

Kaneki sensei had been the one that cheered her up after her mother went on a coma. Both Chiasa and Kanna know this. It was why they were so supportive of her crush anyway. They we’re indifferent to it at first, but Chiasa would always go on about how every talk with him brought back the light to her eyes at those days. It’s probably why they were trying to push her to him right now.

Literally.

Kanna shifted her position in no time and pushed her towards the door. She glanced back glaring at her two friends, her hands on the door she nearly crashed into. Hinami then looked to her side, to see her sympathetic teacher smiling at her. “It’s fine to feel this way, Fueguchi-chan. I really don’t mind talking if you need someone to listen.”

She blanked out. And with nothing in her head she could use as an excuse to flee, she could only agree. “O-okay.”

Her friends were snickering lightly at the corner, and there was a big smile that spread across each of their faces. “Hina, after you are finished, see us at the entrance! We are going out for ice cream!” Kanna said, and with that, both of the girls ran past both her and their teacher.

“They are truly two oddballs, both of them, aren’t they?” Kaneki sensei joked lightheartedly. It must have been truly strange for him to see how their demeanor changed in under two seconds. If only he knew. “Well, it must make them fun. But for now, let's go for a walk. Tell me what’s going on.”

He walks away from the entrance of the girls’ bathroom, releasing a sigh that is clearly out of relief, and she almost giggles. He surely knows how to break somber mood if nothing else. But it was Kaneki sensei - he helped her smile through worse things, so it didn’t surprise her in the least. They walk outside, through the stone paths of the school.

“So, what is this really about?” He asks her, his eyes glistening with knowledge, not buying into her story. “You may be a bit of an overachiever, but you were never the type to cry over a test. Not without a good reason, at least. Mind telling me what’s on your mind?”

Hinami looks away from him, avoiding his stare. She doesn’t really want to answer. He already knows all about the situation with her mother, but her father is a topic the stings when she even thinks about it. If she will actually try to confront it, now, she might just be left with more prickles, more wounds that she already has. Besides, she didn’t want him to view her as completely pathetic. Even she wants to have some good appearance in front of him. No one would consider her situation at home inviting.

She remained silent, so he spoke again. “Did you clash with Ayato-kun again? was there a problem yesterday?” He frowned as he suggested the idea. “He sounded like he really regretted what he did yesterday, so I didn’t think of it, but Ayato-kun is really a hit or miss with people, sometimes…” He trailed off awkwardly, swallowing nervously soon after.

“No, everything was okay with him.. I had fun with the kids, yesterday. It was nice.” Her eyes were fixated on the patterned bricks beneath her feet. It distracted her mind a little, focusing on the set pattern that went on through the paths, let her distance herself away from the problem for a while longer, avoiding how her teacher’s eyes, that will inevitably pull her away from that safety.

“...Hospital stuff?” He asks, and she bites her lip, nodding to him hesitantly. Kaneki frowned at that, looking at her sadly. “I am sorry to hear that.. It’s been awhile since we talked about it, but remember what I told you. When you are at your worst, you have to fight and pull through, before you’ll find yourself harming yourself more than the situation does.”

Hinami remembered him telling her that, months back. In more elaborate talks, she even heard him saying how he was himself in her position once with his mother, and about how he only managed to survive through it because of another person that helped him out at the time.

That conversation always stuck with her, not only because it was her first time hearing about her teacher’s past, but also because of that painful, guilty gaze that she saw in his eyes. It never left her, neither did the words of advice he said before they parted ways that day.

“Fueguchi-chan, don’t distance yourself from your loved ones. In the long run, it’ll only hurt more.”

Hinami finally felt as if she could breathe again. Far away from the school and feeling much more lighthearted after the talk with Kaneki-sensei, she felt the slightest bit liberated from her worries. Chiasa and Kanna also contributed quite a bit by taking her to a new ice cream shop that was opened recently.  

It was a big shop, and she could see some many flavors to pick from that Hinami could probably stand in front of the glass counter hours trying to decide which flavor to take. Not to mention you could also find popsicles and ice creams of different brands on the other side of the shop.

“I’ll take… The mint chocolate chip flavor, I think.” She thought to herself aloud, and Kanna scrunched her nose and let her tongue out in disgust. Hinami laughed. Her friend was never a fan of anything related to mint, and she could never understand Hinami for liking it.

“Hina-chan, I’m telling you, the cookie dough one is the best here! We all worked hard today, we deserve it as a reward!” Kanna urged her excitedly. Chiasa raised her brows, grinning a little.

“Didn’t you tell me earlier you left the test paper half blank?” She asked Kanna, and the other girl flushed a little before shrugging it off.

“It was for Hina-chan, it’s okay! I would probably retake it later anyway, I needed to study a bit more.” She replied, waving her hand in indifference. It really didn’t seem like she minded, but Hinami still felt guilty to an extent.

Chiasa put her hands on their shoulders, looking determined. “Well, how about I buy you two your ice cream today? I think you two had enough on your head for now.”  Hinami and Kanna glanced at each other and laughed.  “Well? Let’s go! before I change my mind.” She said, and both of the other girls started running towards the line for the clerk.

Hinami giggled as she looked back at Chiasa, who immediately started running after them too. She was a bit surprised at their take off, and her confused expression was amusing to look at, even a little too much - Hinami forgot to look ahead, and within a few seconds she crashed into somebody with a big thump.

She almost fell backwards, but a hand grabbed her arm and helped her stabilize quickly, pulling her in closer to the person she bumped into. She flushed a little and apologized hastily, only to lift her head and realize she knows exactly who the person in front of her is.

Kirishima Ayato stared at her blankly, his eyes slightly squinted at her. He was certainly not impressed. “Brat, you are completely hopeless. A klutz even without the kids here..” He grinned at her. She frowned at him back - it was an honest mistake! It could have happened to anyone. “You are fine, right? I’m letting go.”

His hand was off of her, and Hinami stepped back immediately. They ended up too close for comfort there. Hinami fixed her clothes and hair quickly and looked at him with a blank stare of her own. “I’m just fine. Sorry about that, Kirishima-kun... You are fine too, right?” She asked, looking away. If he asked her it’d only be rude to not ask him. She still bumped into him too.

“You don’t leave that much of an impact, shortie. Even the popsicles survived without a problem.” He lifted up a plastic bag full of brand ice creams, waving it in front of her. Her brow twitched. Hinami couldn’t even tell if that was an insult.  

“Well, I guess you are waiting behind me in line.” he said, and took his spot in the queue to the clerk. Hinami sighed. She took her place behind him, just staring at his back. It was just her luck that she ran into him today as well.

Suddenly, she felt a shiver running down her spine. Hinami looked back to see both of her friends looking at her with wide, curious eyes and excitement. Oh no. It wasn’t even hard to figure out why they were like that - even she could see how easy on the eyes Kirishima-kun is. They closed in on her, their faces practically inches from hers.

“...Who is this? How do you know him?” Chiasa asked first in a whisper. Hinami felt herself stiffen up as she saw him shuffling at his spot when she asked that. Her friends always like to pick the worst times...

“He’s, uh, from the place I do the extra credit work…” She answered quietly.

“...Seems like extra credit does give you more in life.” Kanna commented, and Hinami stomped on her foot lightly to shut her up.

“more like extra headache, in this case... And you two have boyfriends, don’t be like this!” She whispered back, leaning back on them, trying her best to make sure he doesn’t hear anything. The girls released hushed ‘oh’ before settling into uncharacteristic silence. Had Hinami looked back she had saw both of her friends holding onto their grins, but for now Hinami tried to ignore them. It was better than embarrass herself even more.

In no time the line flew by, and Hinami found herself out of the shop with Chiasa and Kanna trailing behind her, still staring at Ayato who was looking through his bag, listing the stuff in it and making sure he didn’t forget anything.

“Maybe… you should go talk to him, before he leaves.” Chiasa suggested, and Hinami squinted her eyes at her. Both she and Kanna just wanted a reason to keep looking. There was a reason to look, but Hinami still didn’t like how overexcited they were all about this. She clenched onto her ice cream cone.

“What? Why should I-”

“Because! You are going to put a lot of hours into that place, you should get to know those who work there anyway….. the earlier, the better!”

“From some reason, I don’t really believe that’s your motive.” Hinami raised her eyebrows at her. Chiasa went silent and Kanna pursued her lips. Both of her friends couldn’t be trusted at said moment, Hinami just knew. They always had the most wrapped logic, and they never failed to act on it.

Hinami backed off a little from them, looking at them with piercing eyes - she’s not having a repeat of what happened with Kaneki-sensei this morning. Especially not with Kirishima-kun! Forget it! Hinami kept inching back as her friends stepped forward. It was ridiculous to watch, it looked like two villains were cornering her. She even had her hands in front of her, one spread out in defense and the other basically ‘threatening’ with the ice cone.

It was unbelievably stupid, but what was even stupider was her falling back on her bum after failing to notice a crack on the sidewalk’s asphalt. And if it wasn’t enough, she almost managed to ruin her uniform shirt and jacket, that was now stained in minty green ice cream. Hinami had to resist the urge to fall on her back completely and just give up - something was out for her today.

Chiasa and Kanna cringed at the sight, but immediately rushed to her side and helped her up. Kanna helped her up and blurted out strings of question the all practically ask if she’s okay, while Chiasa cleaned the ice cream as much as she could from her shirt and from the bits that managed to get stuck to her hair.

“...I know I called you a klutz, but you don’t need to adopt the idea, you know? Even in the orphanage you weren’t like this.” Hinami looked behind her to see Ayato crouching in front of them. Now she kind of wished she was a klutz and bumped into him with the ice cream.

He was right to a degree, but still. She wasn’t completely herself today, after all. It happened, every once in a while, that she had a day like this. But most of the time she actually manages to hide it until she’s home. That numb feeling she had in her chest made her feel like a walking puppet, stumbling around as if a toddler was in control of it.

Hinami looked away from him as she stood up, him following in suit. She bit her lip as she looked down at herself. Her house is at the opposite part of the city… She will have to walk like that all the way home. It feels disgusting too…

“Hina-chan, maybe do you want my jacket or something until you get home? I know it’s a bit of a walk..” Chiasa offered, and Hinami smiled at her. It was nice of her to suggest, but the weather was getting chillier and Chiasa had a horrible immune system. She’d catch bad colds on left and right, and Hinami sometimes felt as if the girl was her patient. Those were the only times Hinami felt like she managed to follow her father’s footsteps in success. Hinami isn’t letting her home without a jacket, especially not after an ice cream.

“No, no. I’ll just go home quickly… Nobody will actually care. Don’t worry.” She laughed, and both of her friends frowned. Ayato watched the scene quietly. He may have thought the brat was a klutz, but still, walking through the streets of Tokyo with dirty clothes, cold and ashamed was not something he’d wish on anyone. Who like him knows it’s not the best feeling.

“Brat.” He called her out. She looked back at him, a bit annoyed. “Come on, you know the orphanage isn’t far from here. Aneki and you look the same height, she’d have a shirt.” Ayato suggested. He figured that if he acted a bit nicer to her, his sister will be happier anyway.

“Oh, um… I don’t kn-”

“Hina-chan! Have fun at the orphanage at the same time! I’m sure the kids love you there!” Kanna barged into her words, smiling. She was about to say something, but both of her friends started walking away, waving their hands while grinning from ear to ear. Wonderful.

She sighed as she stood next to him. She could just leave but…

“So are we going?” Maybe she should at least go to get a new shirt.

They entered the orphanage, both of them basking in the warmness the heater radiated to the room. Hinami could hear the voices of the children playing upstairs. This place always felt so lively that it felt odd to her. “Aneki! Are you here?” Ayato shouts out to the distance, and the children seem to all quiet down upstairs.

Laughs and talks are replaced by the sounds of footsteps, and she could see the kids going down the stairs hurriedly, fighting each other for the lead as they skip through each individual stair. Right behind them came Touka, as elegant as she was the day Hinami first saw her, separating the kids and scolding them for their behavior before coming forward towards them.

“What it is Aya- Fueguchi-chan? What happened to your shirt?” Her hand covered her mouth as she caught the sight of Hinami behind her brother. Hinami was embarrassed, but gave out a hesitant smile and bowed her head respectfully.

“She’s a klutz and she decided to decorate her shirt with her ice cream instead of eating it. Can you lend her something?” Ayato asked for her, and she was sort of grateful even despite the unflattering explanation. She’s still awkward around other people in the orphanage, and he was only okay because he was close to her age. And because he was rude. It was okay to be informal to rude people.

“Ah! Alright. Watch over the kids while I’m taking care of that, okay?”

“Already on it.” Ayato lifted the bag of ice cream in his hands. “The ice cream I promised you earlier is here! Eat it before I regret letting you have some on winter. You are lucky it was sort of hot today anyway.” All the children gathered around him. Touka sighed and signed Hinami with her hand to come back upstairs with her.

Hinami followed her steps up the stairs. in front of her, a hallway filled with doors. It must have been the children’s rooms, she figured. Each room had a sign saying to who it belonged. Some of the doors were half opened, and she could see messy rooms with some toys on the ground, or things of that like.  

They truly left everything they had in hand when they heard Ayato’s call. It was undeniably cute to think about, even if she didn’t know him like that. She was engrossed in the thought until Touka opened the last door in the hall, revealing a neat, yet rather empty room aside from a bed, a work desk and a closet.

“You and Ayato met each other at the ice cream shop?” Touka asked as she opened the closet, looking through the shirts she has inside. She seemed to look for a thicker one, contemplating about the folded clothes in front of her. Hinami shifted her weight between her feet. She didn’t want misunderstandings..

“Ah, um… My friends took me there to cheer me up after school. Uh, I was a bit down earlier.” She quickly explained, her fingers twiddling. “I met him by accident..” She added. Touka pulled out a nice white sweater, and spread it out in front of Hinami, as if trying to envision how it would exactly look on her.

“Oh. I thought he finally decided to take my advice and apologize properly… But fine, at least he learned some manners, it seems.” She said, smiling to herself. Touka handed her the sweater on the same opprotunity. “Here, this should do. It’s warm so it’ll keep you from freezing when you go back home. Should I get out of the room?” She asked, her eyes kind as always.

She always has that comfortable, homely feeling radiating. She almost reminded Hinami of her mother. A woman that is kind, in control of her life and is easy to look up to. Hinami sometimes thinks that seeing her was fate’s plan to make her hurt more, but somehow, the feeling of wanting to cling to the comfort she gave was what created a new wound.

“No, it’s fine! Just give me a second.” Hinami turned around and walked towards the work desk to her side. Putting the shirt given to her on it, she took of her jacket and started undoing the buttons on her shirt.

“...How are you feeling now, Fueguchi-chan?” She heard Touka asking, and bit her lip, leading them to a sudden, tense silence. “You said they had to cheer you up, all..” The older woman continued, probably thinking the unresponsiveness was due to her not being clear.

Hinami shifted out of her shirt and sighed before answering. “I’m better.. Except for the part where I stained my uniform, it was fun with my friends. Kaneki-sensei also cheered me up earlier. Don’t worry.” She said, hoping Touka would leave the subject with that.

“Kaneki did, huh?...” Touka mumbled to herself. Hinami wasn’t aware if she was supposed to hear that. It sounded almost longing. “It must have been  a bit serious for a teacher to get involved…” She picked up her tone soon after.

“It’s a bit of a long term problem.. My mother has a few health issues, and he’s been helping me with it since the start. That’s all.” Hinami explained vaguely. She figured it was better than just start spouting her life story, as she put on the white sweater on herself. She just got it, she doesn’t want to cry on it already.

“Well, when he was a kid, he did have a similar problem himself… My dad used to tutor him when he was a kid, so I know. My dad taught him Japanese, can you believe it?” She said, reminiscing old memories. “He probably should have spent more time teaching me and Ayato when he could, though.”

It was strange for Hinami to hear that her teacher ever needed any tutoring in Japanese. It didn’t bug her as much as the wistful softness of Touka’s voice in the last sentence, though. It seemed so vulnerable. But just as it came, it left in seconds, and Touka turned around to look at her.

“The sweater looks great on you, Fueguchi-chan. How about you go downstairs? I’ll fix the mess I made in my closet and take care of your shirt and jacket for now. I’m sure Ayato wouldn’t mind the help.” She suggested, but it didn’t feel like a suggestion. She wasn’t intimidating, nothing like that… but the smile on Touka’s face looked pained. Struggling.

Despite wanting to ask her if something is wrong, Hinami just nodded in panic, unsure of what to do. She doesn’t want to see this. Not from this woman, that reminds her of her mother. “Yes, th-thank you for the shirt, Kirishima-san.” She said and rushed out of the room, as fast as she could without it being too strange.

She let herself relax as the door closed shut behind her. Her heart was pounding, the rush of feelings speeding its pace and banishing away the numbness that kept her stable through the day. Hinami breathed in and out, trying to distract herself from her thoughts. Walking away from the room, she could hear sniffles.

Downstairs, after waiting out for them to finish their ice creams, Ayato was attempting to teach the children some Japanese. They still had those old books from when his father was still alive, so he pulled them out for the task. His father used to say that reading was the best way to learn a language, and writing was the best way practice it. He never listened to his father’s teachings though, and now he’s having it harder due to it.

It’s not like he’s horrible in Japanese. It was one of his courses in college, and he attempted his best to make up for what he couldn’t learn when he was younger, but Japanese wasn’t easy for him, and he absolutely hated sitting through a lecture about it.

He told the children to read through the books and write down words they have trouble with, and call him if they need him to clarify anything, but it seemed that most of them needed more help than expected. They had a hard time understanding words that are considered of medium difficulty, and while Ayato could help them, it was hard taking care of all of them at once.

He ran a hand through his hair as he tried to help three kids at the same time. Looking to his side, he could see Hinami coming from down the stairs, now wearing a white sweater instead of her stained shirt. It seemed a bit long on her, covering her skirt until its edge that popped out from under it, but it looked fine.

“Nii-san.. How do you read this?...” Yuki joined the group of preteens that were already asking for help with everything. Ayato wanted to slam his head into a wall, but he just released a tired sigh instead. He wouldn’t be able to handle this by himself, and Touka doesn’t seem to want to come down…

“Brat!” He called Hinami out. She looked at him with surprise and confusion in her eyes. “You are an honor student, aren’t you? Come over here, we’re having a Japanese lesson here!” He continued, and Hinami seemed fazed for a few seconds, but she recovered in seconds and nodded, coming towards them.

She sat down next him. Ayato directed two kids to her from the bunch - and she was quick to start helping them. Hinami seemed to like Japanese and literature more than he did, fortunately for him. It made it much easier for her to help the children. She had aptitude for the subject, while he wasn’t even really interested in it at all.

Complicated kanji of different meanings was nothing for her to explain, it seemed like she was just familiar with it all. Even if she was a klutz, she was the traditional book smart person, and it was something that could certainly help the orphanage.

“You are pretty good with it, Fueguchi.” He sincerely complimented when he finished helping the kids himself. She was a bit quicker than him with that, but he isn’t going to address that. He was a college student, damn it! It was pretty embarrassing. He’d have to work harder on his Japanese if he doesn’t want to lag behind…

She seemed a bit surprised as he said that, but relaxed in position as she watched the kids reading the books. She hugged her knees and let her head sit on them. “Thank you.. I used to read and learn a lot from my parents’ books. They liked books with fancy words, sort of. Well, my mom did - dad only reads books if they are medicine related… Well, those had fancy words too.” She smiled to herself, but let her head sink to her legs.

She turned her face to him, her cheek brushing against her knee. “You’re pretty good a it too though. Though I guess since you are at college and all I shouldn’t be surprised… Did you take Japanese as a course?” She stared at his hoodie and the words across it.

Tsubasa University.

It’s a good school, that is hard to be accepted into generally, unless you have high grades or is very talented in sports. It’s not as difficult to get into as Kamii is, but it’s still considered top tier. Even if Hinami doesn’t have the best impression of him, there is no denying he has to be smart, or at the very least sincerely talented for him to be able to get in there.

“Yeah, I take Japanese. Never really liked it though.” He said truthfully, looking away from her. She seemed a bit excited to talk about it, and he sort of felt bad for not returning the enthusiasm for the subject.

“Oh. Why do you take Japanese, then?” Rather than disappointed, she seemed more curious.

“None of us here are really too good in Japanese. Aneki isn’t good at it, Kaya and Enji aren’t good either, Yomo is fine but he doesn’t have the time or social skills to help the kids with it a lot. But they need someone to teach them, so… Had to learn it myself, you know.”

“...That is… Really sweet.” She said in a bit of a shock, and Ayato frowned.  

“What, is it so strange?” He asked, annoyed. He worked hard for this place, of course he’d try his best for the children in it. Learning a subject he didn’t like was nothing compared to all the effort his sister pulled in order to get this place. It’s the little he could do.

“Well, I don’t really know you much… But I didn’t mean it badly. I’d like to be like that, if I could… The children at hospital - well, currently, the child I help with the hospital would be better off with someone that selfless.” She said, and Ayato was taken a bit off guard. She seemed sad, as her eyes trailed around the children in front of them.

“Why do you think so?” He asked. It’s not good to pry, but she opened the topic herself.

“Well… I don’t think I can help him as much as I want to. He has a lot of problems that I deal with myself… Sometimes I wonder if I do him any good I am there. Except for relaxing him, I don’t seem to benefit him almost at all. I don’t think I have a way to help him by myself.”

“What do you think he needs?”

“I think… he needs friends to stand by his side. If he just stays at the hospital and only sees me, he won’t let himself open to others. Well, he can’t get out of the hospital for now, but I don’t want him to only have me as support. He’s really been through a lot, he needs more than just me.”

Ayato contemplated for a few seconds what to say. He looked at the kids around them, and then again back at her. He wondered how that kid felt, being stuck in a hospital for days, having no outlet whatsoever except one person to look forward to. He had an idea, but is this a good one…?

Fuck it. Orphanages take care of kids, he might as well suggest it.

“What if we took the kids to meet him? I can talk to Aneki. They don’t get out a lot, it would be nice for them, maybe..”

Hinami jumped from her spot, inching just a bit closer, with wide eyes and a smile that barely contained her excitement for the idea. “Do you really think it’s possible? I’d have to convince Hajime but it’ll do him good! I’m sure!”

Ayato scooted away from her, feeling a bit too close for comfort at the moment. “You have to help teach the kids in whatever though if we do this! With no whining or complaints!” He yelled out, trying to look away from her. He could see the kids laughing at him from the side.

Hinami nodded happily, now sitting on her knees and her hands holding each other.  She seemed much happier than she did moments ago. It was endearing, but left him in a bit of a shocked state. Her mind now seemed fully distracted with the possibility. “Thank you, Kirishima-kun.”

“Calm down! I just said I’d ask Touka!” He reminded, but she seemed to ignore him.

“Maybe I should change your name in my phone…” She mumbled out.

“What?”

“Uh, um, nothing!” She said and stood up, running away, pulling her phone out of the pocket the sweater had.

"Do you realize what you’ve done?!” Touka slams her fist against the dinner table, every fiber of her being fuming as she watched her little brother flinching in response. Making the new volunteer run, one that they needed, that would be significant help to this place, was just inexcusable. “For once, can’t you act like an adult?! I don’t care if you are mad at Kaneki, she’s only his student! She’s only a student!”

“Fuck, I know! I know that!” Ayato runs a hand through his hair, screaming back despite his voice cracking. There was a bile in his throat that refused to go down, just like how the guilt that possessed him refused to disappear. “Aneki, I didn’t think this would happen! I was angry hearing he was trying to weasel back into our liv-”

“And guess what? Now I’m going to have to call him and tell him you made one of his top students cry. I hope you are real proud of yourself.” She tells him as she pulls out her phone and aggressively diales a number. “I am going to to ask Kaneki to try and ask her to return, and if she does you are going to beg for her forgiveness. And I’ll say it again, this is not up for debate.” She informs him and storms out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

Ayato fell back on the chair that girl sat on before she ran away. He knows his sister is right. Despite all the bullshit that happened with Kaneki in the past, he shouldn’t have took out his anger on the girl. Even if to an extent he had wanted her gone, she was only here to help with the kids, and she would have probably been a good one - Akemi doesn’t usually warm up to people very quickly…

His head sinks into his hands. He messed up, and no matter how much he tried to justify it in his head he simply couldn’t. He had a rough day in college with some pricks and when Touka called and said Kaneki got them a volunteer, he got even more upset. That was all there is to it.

A part of him wants to yell out they could do just fine on their own like they always did, even when dad passed away, but he can’t lie to himself. Ayato knows how much they struggle. His sports scholarship is the only reason he got into college after all, and he already realized they can’t rely on the budget the government gives them. Yomo works every time he can, both Koma and Irimi are trying to find jobs as cooks. They have to, they need the money.

They needed more volunteers. His sister is on the verge of collapsing from exhaustion. As if he didn’t give her enough trouble as a preteen, having her practically raise him, now he scares off the first person that comes through the door and is willing to help them. That is willing to help her.

His breath is shaky and he simply wants the world to disappear at the moment. He has been through enough days that started and ended with him being bitter about everything, the helplessness around him closing in on him and trapping him against his will. He can’t deal with those days returning. It’s his worst fear, that they will return.

It is a touch of a small hand that brings him back into reality. Akemi was there, staring up at him with eyes gleaming with worry as she tried hard to not let any tears fall out of them. It hurt Ayato seeing her like this. When she was happy, Akemi was a small ray of sunshine. She was also the kid that was most attached to him out of the orphans they took care of. He felt as if he failed her.

“Onii-san… She was nice to us.” She murmured between her slightly quivering lips. “Was she a bad person?”

Ayato pats the girl’s head gently. He made a huge mistake, and karma was out to guilt trip him until he admits it completely. He wished he could have told her that yes, this was just a bad person. That all he had tried to do was ward her off so they could be happy and protected. But he couldn’t.

“No, she wasn’t.”

He almost wished she wouldn’t return. That he wouldn’t have to deal with Kaneki anymore, that he wouldn’t have to face her and admit his mistakes, that will haunt him anyways, like they always do. However, something else within him hoped she would return, just so he could apologize to her, face the consequences. So he wouldn’t return to how he used to be.

At the very least, he owes it to Touka and the children.

YOU GOT A TEXT MESSAGE!

From: Banjou-san

Hina, I’m really sorry I’m dragging you into this, but can you please come to the hospital?? Hajime just won’t listen to anyone. I think something made him upset yesterday but he just throws things at us if we try to talk to him..

Hinami turned off her phone and groaned. She promised Hajime she would come to visit him on Monday. Monday was yesterday. She forgotten to stop by the hospital after the fiasco in the orphanage… Hajime is an aggressive kid, too. Banjou must’ve been through hell. She’d have to go today.

She sighs again before turning her phone back on, quickly typing back she’d be there when school is over. It was lunch time now, so there are still a few good hours, but she knows it’ll be a bit of storm at the hospital. Hajime is a good kid within, she has no doubts about that, but the accident he’s been through made him very extreme.  

Chiasa and Kanna were chatting in front of her on a several things - about gossip they’ve heard, or their boyfriends, and things similar to that. Girl things. Sometimes she’d make a comment, or nod, but she wasn’t really in the mood for anything more than that. Yesterday still somehow made her feel like crap, no matter how much she tried to dismiss it away from her mind.

Neither of the two girls in front of her knew about it. Actually, nobody except those at the scene knew about it. That entire situation was humiliating to her. Even if all of those people were strangers, for the very little time she had been there before he came she did feel like she was fitting for that place. That she could really help out there.

Then comes that one guy that steps all over what you’ve build up. Kanna used that sentence on her last ex so many times, but somehow it feels like it fits much better here than it ever did with the boyfriend that she threw out of a window because of a missed phone call.

Speaking of Kanna, she seemed awfully jumpy about something as she started to slap Hinami’s arm. “Hina! Hina! look behind you!!” She said, as bubbly as ever. Hinami giggles at her friend’s sincere excitement, and does as she said.

Her giggles fade as she sees her teacher strolling down the student’s cafeteria, squinting his eyes as he’s looking for something. For someone. Hinami didn’t need anyone to give her a memo to realize her was looking for her. Kaneki’s eyes suddenly lock on her as he finds her within the crowd of teenagers, and he rushes towards her.

She turns around quickly, her heartbeat speeding up, and for all the wrong reasons. He was not some psychic to actually know about yesterday, right? No, but Kirishima-san might have told him… Either way, whether he knew or not, the only reason for him to come talk to her away from class is to know how stuff at the orphanage went. It was why she was avoiding him all morning.

“Hinami-chan?? He’s coming towards us! What did you do yesterday at that place? It seems like it worked like a good luck charm for you.. You’re always so lucky, I swear!!” Chiasa rambled on as he approached and Hinami felt cold sweat dripping down her face. She felt the exact opposite of lucky right now.

She feels his hand on his shoulder and she jolts up, leaving both Kanna and Chiasa to marvel at the scene with slacked jaws. “Ehm… Fueguchi-chan, if you don’t mind, may I talk to you privately for a few minutes? It won’t take long.” He asks her, and she bites her lips. Any other time she would have been so glad for something like this, but now…?

However, it’s not like she could say no.

“Y-yes.” She answers hesitantly, standing up. “I’ll return in a bit, Chi-chan, Kanna-chan.” She tells the two other girls, who nod profusely, as if they want their head to fall off. She then follows him away from the cafeteria while hearing something between squealing and mild screeching from them.

He takes her out to the hall, to an area that is rather empty of people. Hinami stands in front of him with her fingers twiddling nervously. He leaned against the wall to his side, and she could already see the pity in his expression. I didn’t want pity…

“I heard what happened, between you and Ayato-kun…” He started off. She sighed. Of course he knew. It was just the way fate messes with her all of the time. She averts his eyes from him, trying to focus them on the ground. This was even more humiliating now. Why!

“Touka-chan told me how sorry everyone are there. Ayato-kun especially. I know what he said really offended you, and it was really mean of him, but please try to understand.. The one he has a problem with is me. I’m really sorry that you got dragged into this.”

Seemed like she was getting dragged a lot today. Banjou-san, Kaneki-sensei… But really, she felt like she was dragging herself through the mud, trying to deal with all of this. She should’ve stayed home today, her record at school wouldn’t have been harmed that much by one day.

“I know this must be a lot to ask of you, but could you please go there again? Everyone to apologize, and they told me how good you’ve been with the children… You’d be such an amazing help there.” His hands were placed tightly against another, and he was practically begging of her with his eyes shut tightly and his back slightly hunched. Hinami’s eyes furrowed. She didn’t really want to…

“I don’t know, Kaneki-sensei…” She hesitated to actually give him a concrete answer. She wanted to comply with him, to make him happy. Back then when she was at loss he was the best teacher and person she could wish for. Hinami doesn’t want to disappoint him, but why should she return to a place where she was judged at for no reason?

“Fueguchi-chan, I know those two since I was young. They’re not liars, they won’t hurt you again. Please, give it another chance?” He pleads. Hinami bites the inside of her cheek. Her eyes are averting his, but she can hear how hopeful he is from his voice… Her hand behind her back clenches in a fist as she sighs and gives him a tight smile.

“I have to visit the hospital today… But I might drop by there afterwards…” She murmured, being fully aware of how half-hearted she sounded.

He sighs in relief and his hands drop down back to his side, finally. “Thank you so much, Fueguchi-chan! I promise that this time it would be better. Touka-chan would be so happy to hear about this. She was so worried…” He trailed off. “Uhm! Anyway, I need to go back to the faculty room. I’ll make sure she knows you will come!” He says and rushes away, barely even letting her react besides a confused wave of a hand.

The faculty room is in the opposite direction, and Hinami just stands there, somehow feeling worse than she had yesterday.

“Hina! It’s good to see you again.” Banjou exclaims as she walks into the hospital’s children department. His arms are thrown around her in an instant - basically covering all of her in his hug. He was a big, burly man, so against her short stature he looked particularly tall. It will never stop being funny to her how intimidating he looks, when in reality he’s nothing if not a gentle giant.

“Banjou-san!” Hinami hugs back, just as tightly. She has known him ever since he was only an intern in the hospital. Now he was already a doctor, and particularly specializes in pediatrics. Her father used to be the head of the children’s department, but he switched positions a year ago. She spent a lot of time hearing her father yell at the poor man, but no matter how strict her father was to him, Banjou never treated her differently.

Hinami let’s him go as they both go side by side in the department, which had a few drawings of cartoons and rainbows all across it, compared to the pristine white areas any of the adult patients had been residing.

“I’m so glad you’re here… You are really the only one he listens to, you know? I think he hates me especially. He tried throwing his spaghetti at me yesterday.” Banjou laughed, rubbing the back of his neck. Truth to be told, the food in the hospital was less than tasty, but not bad enough to make a kid want to throw it at his doctor. She had no doubt Banjou was worried for the kid, even if he wasn’t the nicest.

“I think he’s just upset… People do things they don’t mean when they are. And it may have been my fault, too. I promised to visit him yesterday. I’m sorry, Banjou-san…” She apologized. The few weeks she had known Hajime has let her know that his anger and determination knows no bounds, and not even a severed, failing lung can stop him. She could imagine the ruckus he had caused in her mind.

“It’s fine Hina. He’d… understand.” He says, despite being very unsure of it himself. “Maybe we just should go to his room and talk to him, he’d be alright… I think.” He laughs nervously, and Hinami forces out a strained chuckle to go with it. The tension in the air already foresees a storm.

They reach his room in what to Hinami feels like a blink of an eye. She barely even noticed her legs moving, yet somehow found herself in front of small whiteboard that was attached to the door, that had a few small, prettily written words on it.

Patient: Hajime Hazuki, 11

Banjou opens the door as he inhales deeply. “Hajime! You have a visitor!” He chippers cheerily as he walks in, Hinami in tow. The curtains are closed, and the room is rather dark, but you can make out Hajime’s bed and his outline under his blankets. He doesn’t move out of the position but she can see him shifting a bit.

“Come on, Hina came by, wake up!” The curtains were drawn away by Banjou, letting the sunlight once again enter the room. Now Hinami could also see the top of Hajime’s head. As well as hearing his hisses. He tosses his blankets off of him and grabs the first thing he sees near his bed. It’s a flower bouquet, probably wishing him health. He throws it at Banjou’s face with enough force that the hit causes some petals to fall off.

“Hajime… Those were flowers from the owner of the hospital…” The older man says, picking up the bouquet. Hajime shoots up to sitting position at those words.

“As if that matters! If he actually cared about me he would have come to see me!” He yells back, his eyes locked on Hinami rather than the doctor beside her. “Flowers aren’t going to make the difference for me.” He continued, breaking the eye contact.

Hinami frowns as she gets closer, taking a nearby stool so she could sit next to him. “Hajime-kun, please calm down… I’m sorry I missed yesterday. I know I promised… I forgot after something else popped up.” She’d rather just get this topic out of the way as soon as she can. If she’d avoid it he’d only retort.

“Heard about it from Doctor Fueguchi already. Orphanage, huh? Playing mother hen and her to be nuggets.” He was scowling at her. She tried to reach out for him, but he slapped her hand away. “Was it fun enough to make you forget? I bet it was. Actually being with people who are able to play and run around.” Hajime spouts bitterly.

“Hajime… It’s not about that…”

“Is it?! Because I waited these five days for you to come, and I needed you here because some crazy bitch that was in accident is willing to give me her lung for money, and I was sure I wouldn’t take it because she obviously is trying to rob all what my parents left me from my pockets - but should I reconsider? Would it make me worthy of your time?!” He screams as he holds onto the metal railings of the bed, shaking them.

Hinami closes her eyes shut for a few seconds until he stops, and all she could hear is his ragged breath and coughs. Banjou goes by his side but he shies away from him, won’t even shown him his face as he tries to breathe normally.

Hinami reaches out again. This time she manages to grab him, by his shoulders. His face turns to her as she tightens her grip, putting him in place so he won’t flail around. She exaggerating her breathes, encouraging him follow her steps, looking straight into his eyes. His breath evens out after a bit more than a minute. “You don’t have to do anything. You are worthy of my time in any situation.” Her thumbs are massaging the shoulders, trying to make him relax.

“You went there. I waited all day. You didn’t come here even afterwards. You didn’t want to come.” He kept pressing on, and his hands were now on her wrists, tightening on them. She wouldn’t have cared, but his nails were digging into the skin there.

“Hajime, I left that place crying.” She raises her voice finally.

Banjou from the side seems a bit shocked, but she doesn’t have the time to care. Hajime’s grip on her wrists is loosening, though, and he withdraws his hands back to him in no time. His frown is as apparent as ever. “..Why?”

“...There was a person there, that said things that were hurtful. But let’s not focus about that.” She doesn’t want to delve in the topic. Even if Hajime was unruly in many ways, she still wanted to enjoy the time she has with him here. He was a witty, confident child when you truly get to know him.

“Does that person wants to die?” He asks her, sternly enough to make her think he’s actually considering to escape the hospital and take on Kirishima-kun himself.

“Hajime!” Banjou yells at him, but Hinami brushes it off with her hand.

“Can I talk to Hajime alone?” She asks. Banjou mouth twitches, not fully on board with it with her, but nods hesitantly and walks away to the door. The sliding door is slammed behind them a few seconds later. Hinami takes Hajime’s hand in hers.

“So, I’m sorry, that I didn’t come yesterday. I should have. I would’ve been happier, anyway.” Hinami felt the tiniest bit guilty for the orphanage children as she said that. She wasn’t lying, but at the same time she felt those words were not fully correct either. If it wasn’t for the end incident, she would have been just as happy.

Then again, she’d rather tend to Hajime now, instead of being completely honest. Hinami feels his small hand squeezing over hers, his lips are in a straight line, and his eyes are just blankly staring to into her own. He groaned. “...Okay. But don’t leave me with those idiots alone again for so long.” He says, his voice veiled with insecurities he attempts to hide from her.

Hinami beams at him, coming up from her stool and comes forward, hugging him lightly. She’s always careful with him, knowing the severity of the injury he sustained in that car accident. As if it wasn’t enough he lost his parents, he had to deal with the nonfunctional lung within him. He was in constant pain and struggle, and Hinami hated to see the sadness and pain reflecting in his eyes.

“I won’t.” He’s tense in her hug, but he lets himself return the embrace after a few seconds. It’s comforting, to be held like that. Reminds him that in a way, he can still feel at home next to her.

The clock ticks away as Ayato watches it intently. Touka got a text earlier from Kaneki that the girl from before will return, despite all of the bullshit that went down yesterday. He was extremely relieved to hear that, but now he wonders if she backed out. It was five thirty and there was no sign of her coming by. The children go to sleep at eight. She only has two and a half hours to get here.

He sighs. He can’t blame her for backing out, after all, he was harsh with his words yesterday. But he’s so unsettled as he watches the kid sit around, waiting for her as well. Especially Akemi and Miyu, that seemed to both to take a liking to her yesterday.

Touka was so stressed because of it. She was on edge all day, particularly snappy when talking to him. She tried her best to hide it, but his sister couldn’t help her anger sometimes. When they were younger, she used to be aggressive and rash in response to these situations. Since then she grew up so much, matured, but even with that, it didn’t change her fiery personality. His older sister was only human, too, and he can’t ask her to act like an angel when she has to clean after his messes.

She was washing the dishes, the kitchen utensils clank and clash between themselves as the water spilled on them. Touka wasn’t too attentive today. She aggressively cleaned the dishes with her not so delicate fingers and if it wasn’t breakable, whatever she held was tossed to the side. His sister is usually so much more careful than this.

“Aneki… Stop harassing the dishes…” He lets out nervously, just to break the tension between the two of them. Maybe even get a little chuckle from the children and her. If they all could just calm down about this first, it will be so much easier to handle.

“Don’t harass high school students and I’ll consider.” She answered back sternly, and he got chills running down his spine. So cold. He could practically feel the ice water she were flowing from the faucet, it’s like he’s a cat that got splashed.

“I said I’m sorry already. What do you want me to do?” He asked her, running a hand through his hair. He doesn’t want to annoy her more than she already is, but what really can he do? If she isn’t coming back on her own, then his hands are tied.

“It’s not about you doing something right now, it’s about what you’ve done. It has consequences and you have to deal with them. If I weren’t your sister I would be a lot meaner than just make some remarks and brush you off.” Touka scolds him, and he looks at the ground as she frowns at the clock. It awfully reminded him the days they were alone, only the two of them. She always looked up at the sky, trying to hope for better, as he dragged himself behind her, his eyes on the floor just like his expectations.

Maybe it was because she was always actively trying to look for the happier possibility that it was killing her to sit around here, helpless. He never let himself to develop expectations in order to get disappointed. If he was feeling in hell right now, he can’t imagine how she’s feeling. The world never gives her the inner peace she deserves.

He grimaced. The clocked showed it was nearly six, just seven minutes away. He keeps saying he wants to make it easier for them, but somehow, it never works out. Did he even bothered lately to look on her side? She will never tell him about her problems, it’s her natural instinct to be maternal and act more like a mom keeping her child out of troubles rather than a sister. Maybe… He should try more. Just a bit.

“...Aneki, what are the chances you are going to ask the half assed bastard for her phone number?”

She walks out of the hospital by six, huffing at the long day that has passed by. The skies above her were in a beautiful array of reddish and peachy colors as she saw the sun ahead of her setting down beyond the horizon. The clouds were tinted pink, full of color and life, and Hinami couldn’t help but notice the difference of the atmosphere between the lively outside to the dull, almost colorless hospital.

It was as if Chiasa showed her a painting for a manga series she liked. As she walked away, she felt as if it was all some sort of a slice of life genre show that she walked into. It made her feel relaxed, comfortable.

She pleasantly took in the environment surrounding her as she walked on her way home. She has accomplished quite a lot today. Getting Hajime and her father to smile is a tough, tough job, but she manages somehow. It was good she managed to spend time with both of them today. Her father can’t even return home today… There isn’t even a point to rush home to make dinner.

She feels a buzz from her bag, and reaches for the pocket where she puts her phone. For a moment, she thought she jinxed herself thinking she progressed with Hajime today, and Banjou is texting her for help again, but her eyebrows raise as she sees the screen of her phone.

YOU GOT A TEXT MESSAGE!

From: Unknown

Hey, I’m Kirishima Ayato. You know, the guy from yesterday.

She almost drops her phone as her heart feels as if it drops to her panties. Had Hinami lacked a bit more self control, she may have dropped the phone from shock. She debates with herself if she even wants to see the rest of the message. She ponders on it for a few good minutes, standing in place, some people already starting to stare at her, before she decides that curiosity killed the cat, and unfortunately, that cat is her.

I’ve got this number from your teacher. I just wanted to say I’m really sorry. I was just mad when I came home. It wasn’t supposed to be let out on you.. We’ve heard you are coming over, today, and the kids were really happy. Please don’t back out. Sorry if I’m out of line here… Anyway, I hope you this apology is good enough. Please just tell me if we should wait or not.

She looks in between the buttons that presented to her on the chat. Either block or add to contacts.

Hinami forgot she even promised Ken she’d go there again. Truthfully speaking, the apology wasn’t really heartfelt or anything, but it made her heart ache when she read the children were happy at the thought of her returning. It’s a bit hard for her to decide, but… she sees more positives if she will go now. And she did get an apology….

Damn her for being so soft when it came to children.

She ignores both buttons she sees, and just writes back straight away.

I’m coming over.

Message Sent!

It’s not long before she finds herself in front of the orphanage once again, walking through the brick trail that leads to the entrance. Her footsteps are loud and clear despite her trying to be silent in her walk, and her heart cannot help but beat a bit faster than she would have liked it to.

She’s not even in front of the door when it’s suddenly slammed opened. Children are flooding out of the entrance, the two girls she knew yesterday with bright smiles on their faces, Yuki waving her shyly, and the rest of the children just staring from afar at her.

Right after them she sees the Kirishima siblings in front of her, and she tries to avoid their gaze. She feels just the slightest bit uncomfortable, but both of them are smiling at the scene, though the woman’s smile much more apparent. “Fueguchi-chan, it’s cold today! Come inside, I’ll make you something warm to drink.” She hears the woman in front of her say. The other sibling doesn’t say anything, but he seems content with the situation.

She finds herself nodding, entering the orphanage once again. The decor still looks homely, and the smell of the miso soup from the kitchen made her mouth water. It felt all so very welcoming, though she guessed it was exactly what their intention was. But it wasn’t like she minded it much.

“Well. I’m going to make coffee for myself. Does it work for you, Fueguchi-chan?” The older woman offers her and she nods happily. It was cold outside, and she was freezing in her uniform. Their school’s winter skirts were barely any longer than their summer ones, and the jacket they have is pretty thin, too. Coffee and the heater on is more than ideal for her right now. “How much sugar?”

“Two!” She replied happily, and Touka gave a nod as she walked to the kitchen to make it. She was left alone with the kids and Ayato. She doesn’t speak to him. Despite coming here and all, she was still a bit mad herself on everything. Her entire day was ruined by the events of yesterday. She may sound petty, but she doesn’t feel like talking to him.

She settled on the carpet near a lego tower one of the boys she has yet to be introduced to. Ayato raised an eyebrow, but didn’t comment. Hinami focused on the kid in front of her. “That’s a really tall tower.” She told him, as he struggled putting another lego at the top of it due to his height.

“Yeah! It’s supposed to be the tallest possible! taller than Uncle Yomo!” He answers, standing on the tip of his toes to reach the top.

Hinami giggles. “Let me help you?” She asks, giving out an open, helping hand. The boy looked at her with surprise.

“Alright…” He answers suspiciously, carefully handing her the next lego piece. “But it’s still my tower. I made it first!” He declares and Hinami gives him a thumbs up, before attaching the red piece in her hand to the highest level.

They do this several times, and the tower is significantly taller, half as tall as Hinami is herself. The boy seemed rather happy at the pace this was going. “Now we just got to work on this a bit more… Make it look cool!” He said, looking for bigger pieces each time. When he found one, he was so excited to give Hinami the next one, that he accidentally hit the tower, making it fall and break apart of the floor.

He stood there shocked, and his eyes were wide as Hinami could see the tears filling them up. He let out a few small whimpers and Hinami was frozen in place. She tried telling him it’s okay, but he aggressively shook his head as his tears fell out.

“Kyou, calm down.” Ayato came behind them, his hand on the boy’s head, ruffling his head until the boy calms done. “Akemi, Miyu! Mind help reconstructing here?” The girls ran to Ayato, looking at the mess created on the floor.

“You are such a klutz!” Miyu laughed as she picked up the pieces, Akemi already building the base of the tower while Kyou was sniffling. Ayato was eyeing Hinami, signing her to join in as well. Hinami quickly did, but she couldn’t help but stare at him. He was so mad yesterday that she didn’t imagine he would be good with the kids, but clearly he proved her wrong.

He was still mean to her though. She doesn’t know what to think about him.

In a matter of minutes, the tower was rebuilt and became as tall as Hinami was. It was then Touka entered the room once again, with hot chocolate for the children and coffee for the rest of them. There was a small gathering around her as the children reached for the drinks, excited at the thought of taking a sip.

Both Ayato and Hinami took the coffee from her as well, murmuring their thanks. Touka jus smiled and returned to the kitchen, to organize everything there. Ayato and Hinami were left behind, drinking their coffee in silence. “Next time, just do something instead of standing there. Kyou tends to cry a lot, so don’t fuss over things.” He offers, his voice monotone.

She can’t even tell if it was supposed him criticizing her or him offering an actual advice from how grumpy he sounds. Hinami guessed it was his default voice, but still, it wouldn’t hurt him to use a kinder phrasing… He didn’t even apologize to her face yet.

“Also, he’s a real klutz sometimes, so you have to make sure he’s not ruining stuff. He’s breaking things left and right. So look out for that. As long as you are not spaced out or something it should be easy.” He continued, and she squinted her eyes at him. She’s not that bad with kids. She had to work with children that broke medical equipment regularly, and on purpose in the hospital. She doesn’t let herself space out that easily… she thinks, at least.

She sipped on her coffee. “Um, I know how to handle those already.. I didn’t space out, I was just a bit shocked for a second there.” Hinami corrected him carefully.

“Oh. It seemed like you were, so I assumed.”

“You seem to think a lot of things for though we barely spoke with each other..” She murmured under her breathe, and he clearly caught it. They frowned at each other.

“I already said I was sorry.” He told her back. “I’m not going to be extra nice or something.”  

Hinami huffed. He wasn’t that nice to begin with, how would he be extra nice? She puffed her cheeks. Ayato snorted.

“Well, at least you will get along with the kids, acting like that.” He said, finishing his coffee in one more sip and putting it on the table near them. He left her, returning to the rest of the kids.

Aggravated, Hinami finished her own coffee fast, chugging it down angrily. Going to Akemi and Miyu, she couldn’t help but think of how she needs to prove him wrong. She can be good by herself. She doesn’t need his advice!

What a jerk!

Back at home, Hinami had finally changed to her pyjamas and could finally rest. In the end, she really enjoyed being in the orphanage. Akemi and Miyu were so sweet and even introduced her everyone she didn’t know already. They were so cute.

She went through her messages for the day, seeing a few things she missed from Chiasa and Kanna. They were mostly rambling about a show they saw recently though, so it was okay. She probably couldn’t have contributed either way.

She kept scrolling down the messages, until she saw the one she had gotten from Ayato earlier. From some reason Hinami felt compelled to open it once again, read it again. Reading it now, after seeing after he takes care of the children, he surely apologized for their happiness, it was obvious - but somehow she could still appreciate him for taking responsibility like that.

The buttons presented in front of her in the chat, however, made her truly think.

ADD TO CONTACTS or BLOCK.

Hinami bit her lip. Today was a good day. It was, but she still didn’t like him that much.. Should she give him another chance to be a friend?... He did seem to be good to those close to him… Hinami sighed.

She pressed a button, and typed quickly in her phone.

Deep, deep underneath the bustling streets of Tokyo, they were walking in strangely well constructed paths, gasping and breathing in the cold breeze that flown by them from an area unknown. The ground was uneven and the area was dark. Hinami was listening very carefully to Ayato's footsteps in front of her - he was leading their small expedition group, his strut loud and clear. Hinami was almost reminded of her days in Aogiri, when he silently and pridefully led the missions to success. They have been walking for around three days in this eerie one way path, continuously going down. Their legs ached and the unknown refused to reveal itself, but Hinami was hearing sounds from where they are heading, and Ayato's gut feeling was never proven wrong. They were determined to discover what lies beyond, and they were craving the success of this mission, if only for the possibility of providing Goat with info that will prove valuable.

Some of the grunts in the group were panting, tired of walking nonstop in this seemingly endless path. Ayato looked back at them, evaluating the situation in front of him, before huffing. “Let’s rest here, for a bit.” He said, all the exhausted grunts let themselves fall to sitting positions on the ground.

Ayato huffed, and sat leaning on the cold wall behind him. Hinami sat beside him, the edges of her long skirt surrounding her. Her eyelids were fluttering every once in a while, as if she was a child trying awake, even if just for a few seconds more. It was endearing to to see her as she was getting frustrated at her own antics, her nose scrunched up, and her fingers massaging her eyes to ease the sting the tiredness has brought upon her.

The rest of the group has gathered around them after a few minutes, a few of the older members grinning at the sight of Yotsume-sama acting like the child she is. “If you need to sleep, sleep, you know.” Ayato reminds her. She deserves her rest - she had been on alert all day, listening to every noise that had reached her sharp ears, analysing each and every sound as if they were a discovery to be made in themselves.

“I want to stay awake.. for a while longer. The sounds are becoming more coherent..” She tells him in a slightly faint voice, but with a soft smile on her face. She looked sort of goofy, as if she was in another world, one of her own, staring to the distance.

“Fueguchi-san, go to sleep! We probably won’t find much anyway. We can stay awake for now.” One of the younger expedition members said. Hinami smiles at him, she knows he’s trying to be considerate. But she already knows that a moment can change everything. Whatever treasure that is found ahead of them, if there’s a treasure, would be fleeting, and she wants to sense it, before it disappears.

“You know, I have once read about a treasure city. A city made of gold.” She said suddenly. All eyes were on her, brows raised at the unrelated statement. “El Dorado. A city made up of gold and riches, filled with gemstones and and valuables. Many expeditions, led by many people, had been either fruitless or ended up disastrous.” She told them, her voice compelling them to stay quiet and listen.

“Its folklore says, that over the mountains of the moon, and the valley of the shadow, ride, boldly ride, if you seek El Dorado. Look around us. We’re walking in a dark path, on our way to find something. Something we don’t know. If it is valuable, there is a high chance the path to it will be hard on us.”

“We do not know what we are chasing. It might be the golden city, or it might be a disaster impending. But I rather be ready for it, for all of us. I want us to be prepared, for anything. Even if there’s nothing beyond, I want to be sure. For the sake of all of us.” Hinami said, her eyes set on the dark path that lies ahead of them.

The rest nodded at her, understanding, but Ayato just stared. It’s Yotsume talking, not Hinami. Ayato already knows, that she wants to believe that a discovery on the scale of a golden city is ahead of her.  The belief is still alive in her - she wants that treasure, to become useful to the people surrounding her.

In the back of his mind, he’s already praying. Praying that what they find won’t leave her disappointed.

Five days into the mission. There is little food left for the journey back home, and they are starting lose hope in finding something at all. Ayato is starting to think about turning around, telling Kaneki this expedition could not be executed with the amount of food they have in store.

They are still holding onto the small hope that Hinami’s hearing has not been failing her, that there is something out there. She keeps on going, Ayato in tow, similarly so believes there has to be something here.

They walk in silence. He wouldn’t interrupt her while she is so focused. The grunts behind them are walking slowly, and for them, it already seemed an aimless walk across the dark road that would not leave them a ray of light to be led by.

“Ayato, I don’t think we are going to be find anything…” A grunts tells him, and he glares at him as he sees Hinami’s face scrunch up, her hands behind her ears trying to keep herself focused on what is ahead of her.

Don’t say it, when she’s trying so hard. Not yet.

“Ayato, it really doesn’t seem to end-” Another says, but is stops as he sees Hinami dashing ahead, her eyes wide and excited.

Ayato and the rest run behind her, following her lead, up until they finally see the actual end to the path. and beyond that path, stood an underground city. A city broken and torn down to pieces, yet a city.

“An underground city?...” Ayato questions, standing by Hinami who panted from the run, hands on her heart as she’s breathing the dirty air of the city. “What is this thing…?” He muses to himself at the sight of something that looks as if it could be a shell of some sort of a monster.

Before Ayato knows it, Hinami takes a hold of his wrist. He looks at her, slightly surprised.

“Ayato-kun… I heard somebody talking.”

Hinami already heard them coming. She already whispered it in his ear that there are people following them. They were prepared, their steps matching each other, even if Hinami walked a little behind him. He was stoic and on guard and Hinami was right there, telling him of any suspicious movements. He prepares and takes off his jacket, knowing there might be a brawl.

“Somebody is running towards us from the behind.” She tells him and he stands in place, his kakuhou already begging to burst out. He could already hear the enemies now. He looked back, wearing his signature scowl back from Aogiri days. A short ghoul with their rinkaku out rushed for an attack.

Ayato’s ukaku shot out of his shoulder, his eyes turning black and red. At the same time, he saw Hinami’s Koukaku and Rinkaku erupting from her back. Her rinkaku limbs went forward, hitting the other ghoul, sending him to the wall. Ayato crystallized a bit of his kagune, sending it in the form of a ranged attack. It pinned the ghoul to the wall by his clothes.

“Ahhh!” they heard a scream from their side, and another ghoul, with a kagune shaped as a sword came towards Hinami, jumping towards her in order to get close enough to slash her. She shielded herself with her Koukaku. Ayato leaped from his own spot as he gritted his teeth. The ghoul was still trying to get through the Koukaku wing. Ayato sent him backwards with a kick to the shoulder, looking back at Hinami. She glanced at him with an awkward, yet grateful smile.

Her ears suddenly somehow perk, and her eyes are wide open in seconds. She sends one of her Rinkaku limbs straight at his direction, before it passes by his side and curves to catch one more ghoul that he did not see.

He huffs. “Is that all of them?” He asks her, as he goes and grabs the one that tried to hurt Hinami by the collar of his shirt, dragging him along as he walked. He looked like a kid, but it’s no excuse to shitty behaviour. Not that I am one to talk, though.

“You okay?” He asks, as he approaches Hinami. He notices her left Koukaku wing is injured. It’s healing quickly, but it’s not a nice sight to take in. Hinami nods at him as she reverts her Koukaku, it returning underneath her skin. She probably noticed he looked.

“Ye’et mi guh!” The brat Hinami caught struggled under the grip of her Rinkaku. She was obviously a preteen, just like the rest of them. Hinami looked at the girl with a sympathetic gaze, looking almost guilty, but she didn’t let go. “Dun’ etting ush up!”

“...What did she say?... It was a bit… jumbled…” Hinami eyebrows furrowed as she tried to decipher what the girl was saying. Ayato could barely tell himself, but he was more familiar with 24th Ward accent. Not on Touka’s level, she was always very good with it, but still, good enough so he could understand quite a bit.

“Something along the lines of don’t eat me and let me go, I think.” He replied, scratching his head with his finger. Hinami cringed, probably at the thought of eating another ghoul. He frowned at her disturbed face, and looked at the kids. “We’re not going to eat you. Relax already.” He says. Both of the kids look at him, their mouth stuck in an o-shape.

“Rolly? Rolly bolly not etted up?” The boy in his grasp asks, and Hinami almost giggles at the sight of his eyes lighting up the way they do. It’s amazing how their mood changed with just a single sentence spoken. Ayato nods and both children start cheering.

“Ayato! We’re finished reviewing the area-” The other grunts in the mission are once again in sight. They went to other parts of the city to explore it more efficiently. They are all surprised as they see the kids in their grasp, and the one that is currently basically hanged on a wall. “...Do you need help?” One of the grunts asks.

“Yeah. Take the kid over there off the wall. Later on we’ll gather them to ask a few questions. Also, someone else watch over the girl, Hinami can’t keep her Rinkaku out forever.” He says and the grunts do as asked without qualms. Hinami’s Rinkaku fades back into her body as the girl is passed to another grunt, and he can see the back of her shirt, torn apart.

He lifts the jacket he took off earlier, putting it on Hinami, who glances up at him surprised. “Let’s get in, we would have to gather them up soon anyway.” He says, mumbling while pointing at a small wreckage of a building.

Hinami notices the shifting in his eyes, that fact that he suddenly started walking and sped away from her - how could she not as the boy with him started yelling at him for the sudden move. She doesn’t say anything, but she smiles, holding the jacket closely to her.

The attempt to talk to them has barely yielded any fruit, if he doesn’t count the bits of information they received. The fact they have thought they were humans was puzzling enough, but the Naaga they have talked about was even more so. Ayato sighed. He felt like he was only getting into more mysteries, instead of solving them. It wasn’t helping him that their accent was so heavy - only if Touka was here, maybe she could understand better. He’d have to talk with her when they return.

He rubbed his temples. What is the entire story?

He watched those children talk with a very confused Hinami, trying to understand them but very much failing at that. Hinami has never been to the 24th ward before they joined Goat, so even if he and a few others here do understands, she probably feels stumped due to that accent.

He walks over to her and he sees her trying to communicate with tender gestures, much like how she treats the Aogiri children - the gentle voice and the considerate approach. She tried to appease them as they yapped on and on, but for Hinami it must be like trying to understand a whole new language, despite hearing it for the first time.

Hinami’s head turns to him. She looks still a bit confused from all that is found. “I think the one in the middle is the one I heard talking. I’ve told them I like to hear stories, so I think they’ve been trying to tell me one? I’m not really sure, though.” She laughed awkwardly, scratching her head.

He could’ve understand why she thought that - those ghouls were jumping around, sharp hand movements tossed all over, declaring things as if they were stuck in their own made up adventure, for them to elaborate on and for them act out.

Ayato joins in with her, to listen, to maybe shed some more light on all of it. He can see how badly she’s trying to understand them, her face all scrunched up in thought as she even writes notes with her fingers on the dusty floor. He can’t understand them either, especially with them running their mouth like that, but at least he can separate a few words from their sentences.

Naaga. Giant. Battle. Forces. The forces that beat the Naaga. One of the kids falls on the ground dramatically as the other two play as if they were knights. Ayato tilts his head as he pieces everything together in his mind. He has an idea in his head. He puts his hand on Hinami’s shoulder. She looks back at him. “I think I’ve got it.”

Ayato lowers himself to their eye level. “Can we go see the Naaga remains better? We want to see the result of the story.” He asks, and the kids share a confused look, though they didn’t seem to care much as they shrugged their shoulders at each other and nodded at Ayato and Hinami.

The started skipping away, as they signed to both former Aogiri executives to follow them with their hands. Ayato went after them and Hinami excitedly rushed right behind him. She was beaming, her smile reaching from one ear to another. Ayato felt almost proud that he was the one that caused it, but he reminded himself to not get too excited himself, after all, they have still yet to seen anything but clues.

They’ve ventured into the city, reaching the deeper, central parts of it. The children in front of them seemed to know all the shattered entrances and exits like the back of their hands, running through them, giggling. Hinami almost fell a few times as she tried to keep up with them, stepping in broken brick pieces. Ayato caught her hand though, taking it in his, pulling her along with him so she’s at the same pace as him.

Suddenly they’ve stopped in place, and his hand leaves hers. She didn’t notice it, but she was holding her breath. Hinami wasn’t sure why she was holding her it at all, but she didn’t have much time to ponder, as she took in the sight of the huge monster remains that laid sprawled on the ground and on top of buildings alike. It was shaped almost like a slithering, giant snake and it height rivaled the houses around it.

The children stared at Hinami and Ayato, that still processed what’s in front of them. “Ish det.” One of the kid told them as he touched the body of it, the top layer shedding off as his rough fingers scratched it. Ayato’s lips curled forward. It looked ridiculously gross. The boy just waved it around with a grin on his face.

Hinami, on the other hand, joined the boy in front of her within a few steps forward. She reached to touch the body, her hand open and she could feel the rough texture as felt the top layer peeling underneath her gentle fingers. She gathered some of it in her hands, examining it with her eyes.

It’s definitely a kagune… She remembers Eto’s kakuja - it occasionally left flakes if a limb was torn off, unable to heal. To reach that kind of kakuja would be insane, though, and to think that it laid dying in front of her, defeated? she couldn’t imagine the fight that tore through this city, even with it remains showings her the damage and consequences of it. Information on that fight, of how it was won - it will probably prove valuable.

“Ayato-kun… Do you think we could find a way to understand them better? If we could find out what happened, we could probably find something that will help in the future… To think someone beat that…” She’s staring intently in the lifeless shell, as if trying to reveal its secrets. Ayato can see the sparkle in her eye. She was right, it would be helpful - and this mission will not turn to be for nothing. If they found a discovery like this, they might as well go all the way with investigating.

“Not right away. We need somebody who can talk in 24th Ward accent well - the only one I personally know of that fits that criteria is Touka.” He might as well fill her in on the fact Touka knows the accent well. Since they started talking with those ghouls he thought his sister would be a good addition to this mission. Hinami would’ve definitely gotten the results she yearned for already if she was.

“Then… Should we bring them with us? Back home, I mean?” She asks him, sounding the tiniest bit worried as her eyes linger on the children brats that seemingly did not care for their talk much. “I don’t think we have enough food above to make another expedition like this…” She tells him, remembering the tight situation back at the Goat base concerning food. There was truly not a lot left, and they had plenty of mouths to feed.

Ayato was aware of it, as well. They lacked a lot of things, actually. Beddings, food, clothes, hiding spots - they were truly in a disadvantage. And honestly, thinking about it - where the hell did those kids get food for themselves? It doesn’t seem like there’s any humans, or other ghouls here for that matter.

Are they alone here? Do they have no family?

Won’t they just die off here?

“I think.. I think we should take them home. It’ll be better for them too, probably.”

The night arrived and the breeze that seeps in through the openings in the broken buildings gives Hinami chills. To her side she sees three children sleeping, their faces relaxed and sweet compared to how they’ve looked when they were caught earlier, and in front of her she sees Ayato, shuffling through the bag they’ve prepared ahead of time for some blankets.

When he finds one, he tosses it at her. “Cover up, it’ll get colder.” He tells her.  She catches the blanket in her hand, but notices he doesn’t have one himself. With how gross it sounded, she could actually hear his teeth chattering from the low temperature. Anyone else would have not heard it, but Hinami was always the special case.

She looks to her side once again, and realizes that their covering is actually Ayato’s. Hinami exhales as she smiles. He is truly too nice for his own good. Glancing down at the blanket in her hands, she decides she has a better idea than just letting him freeze. Not bothering to get up from the sitting position on her knees, she scooted over to his side, laying the blanket he gave her on both of them.

Hinami sometimes wondered if she were imagining all those sounds around her. From this close, she could hear him swallowing in nervousness, the sounds of his fingers moving restlessly and if she focused well enough, maybe even the sound of his heart beating. Or was it hers? She just had to break this silence. “It’s sweet, how you take care of them.”

Ayato tries not to look at her direction, but there’s a tiny grin on his face, his mouth tips twisting just the slightest bit up. His cheeks were reddish, but she couldn’t really tell if it was blush seeing that his nose was too. He was probably really cold. He never talks much about his discomforts. He probably just thought of handling it as it is. “Don’t know what you are talking about.” He answered her, and she just rolled her eyes, trying not laugh.

“First you are acting like an old man and now you are a dad. Ayato-kun, it’s hard to keep track of your change already.” She giggled to herself, and he turned scarlet at the comment. He was pouting at her, now rolling his eyes himself. “You should take care of yourself though, as well. Are you cold?” She asked him sincerely.

“..A bit. Nothing I can’t handle.” He replied. To Hinami it sounded half-hearted.

She shuffled a bit closer to him, huddling up, leaning on him as she held onto his arm. “...Still, it will only get colder.” She said shyly, not looking at him. Ayato barely moved a muscle at first, but after a few hushed, deep breathes he settled against her just she did to him.

Silence filled the room around them, but neither are planning on letting go anytime soon. Ayato, not wanting her to get to uncomfortable coughs up, and decides to make small talk, despite the fact he is usually the last one to initiate one. “Are you disappointed?” He asked her quietly.

Hinami squinted her eyes. “What do you mean?”

“This place… It’s not exactly the golden city you wanted. Are you disappointed, in that?” He replied uneasily. He was frowning, but he seemed more regretful than he was angry. “I know you. You hoped for something big. Most of what we found is a big mystery we’re not even sure if we can solve…”

Sometimes, Hinami just can’t with him. He’s always undeniably sweet to her, thinking of her and how she feels. “It’s not what I expected, to be honest.” She tells him truthfully. He’s always honest with her, so she won’t just lie. “But… I don’t think what we’ve found is bad, either, you know?” Hinami let’s herself head fall against his shoulder.

“Even if this doesn’t amount to much, I think… I think we’ve found something better. A forgotten part of history, these children that seem very attached to you, may I say, and… I realized, being with you on missions like this, was something I missed… I missed being with you generally, really..” She told him, and instantly bit her lip after saying that. That’s embarrassing, why did I just say that--

“I just missed your smile.” He moves his head to look at her. His gaze is focused on her, and she melts under the intensity of it. Her face darkens with the blush dusting her cheeks, and Hinami is in complete daze until she feels his nose touching hers, and she becomes self aware to how close she is to his face.

He isn’t moving forward, but he isn’t moving away, either. Her heart is racing, almost painfully so, begging her to do something about it. Hinami is always scared losing those she cherish, but her biggest fear was being useless. Doing nothing, and regretting about it later. She doesn’t want to regret, not anymore.

She closes the gap between them, pressing her lips onto his soft ones. Maybe she shouldn’t have chewed on her hers a minute ago, but she tries to ignore her insecurities as kisses him softly, moving against him slowly. It takes him time to actually respond, and Hinami grows nervous, but her worries fade as his hand falls on her shoulder, and he’s kissing her back.

It’s quiet in the room except for their kiss, and the darkness around them is the victor against the soft candlelight. It’s their own secret from the world as they discover each other, and Hinami wouldn’t have it any other way. Even if the cool air makes them shiver, they are fire that sets each other ablaze.

They separate to breathe and Hinami’s head falls on his shoulder again, her mind hazy. His hand goes around her, and he leans his head on hers, nuzzling into her soft brown hair. Hinami decides he feels nice against her. That they should be like this more, that she was missing out something all of this time.

“Ayato-kun… Don’t worry anymore. I found you.”

It’s only when she is home, when she finds her book about El Dorado, again. A week has passed and the underground children we’re getting used to all of the new people, and she looked for books to read them so they could get used to the accent.

She doesn’t meet to open it at first, but it seemed so dusty, she had to clean a little, and with no time, her eyes skimmed through the pages. All of this were things she read before - all of these except the origins section.

When Spanish explorers reached South America in the early 16th century, they heard stories about a tribe of natives high in the Andes mountains in what is now Colombia. When a new chieftain rose to power, his rule began with a ceremony at Lake Guatavita. Accounts of the ceremony vary, but they consistently say the new ruler was covered with gold dust.

As Hinami read that, she could hear the sound of Ayato playing tag with the underground children, the sun showering the scene with beams that made it shimmer and look as if it was scene out of a movie.

Hinami chuckled to herself.

The school bell rang. Hinami ran into the classroom, her friends behind her giggling and sliding their hands under her arms from each side, locking them together as they went towards their assigned seats in the classroom. Their smiles were bright on their faces as they led Hinami to her seat in the front row. “I’m so happy for you! I can’t believe he actually became our homeroom teacher. It’s like, fate!” Kanna chippered, hitting Hinami’s upper arms lightly in her excitement.

“Kanna! Stop hitting Hinami, she needs to be focused on the goal, you know..” Chiasa, who stood right in front of Kanna, scolded. Hinami embarrassment couldn’t be hidden as she was blushing even at the tips of her ears. It was no secret to the two other girls she had a crush on their literature teacher, Kaneki Ken. He was nice, caring, and very easy on the eyes - and now he was their homeroom teacher, after a very unfortunate incident that happened to Kamishiro-sensei.

It wasn’t what mattered though. What matters is now she gets one hour every morning of the weekday to see him more. She was absolutely thrilled. She was unable to sit still, her legs changing position every few moments under the table and it wasn’t helping Kanna and Chiasa were already starting to make up scenarios of how their love will conquer all. Talking about how his pretty grey eyes will land on her and his silky snowy hair would blow in the wind-

The sliding door of the classroom slammed against the wall, and Hinami noticed both Kanna and Chiasa had already scurried away to their sits. He was standing there, smile bright at the students before him. Hinami straightened her back as he entered, and stopped in his place right in front of the teacher’s desk. Right in front of her.

Her hands held her face as she leaned forward. “Hello everyone. I am sure you all heard of what happened to Kamishiro-sensei…” He said, and Hinami nodded to herself. The rumors about her former homeroom teacher being in a construction site accident have spread far and wide across the school. Apparently she was okay, but she got more than a few of her bones broken. Most of the rumors were about how she managed to make the principal give her a fully paid work vacation.

“...So, because of that, I’m from now on will be the substitute homeroom teacher until she returns.” Hinami had the urge to clap, but she prevented herself from doing so. She was sure she was staring at him enough to already get looks from her classmates… But it’s not like they could blame her. She knew quite a few girls that liked Kaneki-sensei. Which is a depressing thought in it’s own, but she tried not to think about it.

“Anyway, since it’s the middle of the year already, and we all want you to start gaining whatever boosts you can get so you could all go to a nice college. So the faculty members and I came up with an idea for that - extra credit through volunteering.” Hinami was listening to every word very closely, but only because she liked his voice, how calm and soothing it was. She was a straight A student, she didn’t need to worry about extra credit. She can enroll into most top colleges she knows of with her grades.

“Well, anyone who wants to try volunteering, tell me after the class is over. I’ll refer you to what you can do. Now to our next topic….” Her turns around to the board and Hinami melts into her seat. She didn’t even realize how tense her muscles were before. She must’ve have looked so uptight… Hinami feels something thrown at her from the behind, and looks at the source. Kanna, sitting tall and elegant, trying to make Hinami do the same.

She sighed and returned to sit normally, but otherwise ignored her friend who was also making very weird expressions she probably would describe as sexy. I’m not doing it. Ever. And she was sure Chiasa was with her on that one. She played with her pen to distract her mind from Kanna and her dedication to make Hinami listen, but the other girl just simply blocked her out.

In no time she heard the bell ringing, and sighed in relief. Kanna was truly a terror to sit in front of, especially with her almost shouting Hinami’s name in order to get her to turn around. When she looked back again at the girl, she saw pouty lips and squinted eyes. “Okay, you managed to avoid this in the class, but you need to appeal to him a little bit!” The girl whispered to her.

Hinami nodded awkwardly, avoiding arguing with her. She didn’t really want to confront him yet… or at all. Ever. Too bold. Too risky. She wasn’t ready to deal with it quite yet. She hid behind Chiasa like a child behind her mom as she pouted back at Kanna that probably felt a bit bad about it all - she looked apologetic.

“Hinami-chan….” Chiasa says and Hinami lifts her head to look at her, questioning her with a tilt. “I’m sorry, but right now is your time to shine.” She giggled as she pushed Hinami back, and Hinami stumbled and barely could stop herself from crashing again her teacher. She yelped as she managed stabilize herself.

Kaneki-sensei turns to her. She wants to die. Chi-chan… I thought you were on my side…. She thought to herself and she gazed at him with absolute horror in her eyes. Hinami had the urge to bolt out of the room, but he was already staring at her. Why me?

“Fueguchi-chan? Are you okay?” He asks her, his brows furrowed.  She gulped as she nodded, but she was sure he noticed she was very much uncomfortable in this situation - her nervousness written all over her face. Her throat felt dry as she looked at him. The world must hate me. He scratched his head awkwardly. “Alright… so is there anything you need me for?”

Uhhhh. Maybe for holding my hand, and going to the movies and restaurants together, and stuff like that-- She can think that all she want, but Hinami can’t even see herself saying those words aloud. She needs to come up with a good excuse, and her mind is speeding through ideas in order to find something normal. She takes the first normal things that comes to her mind. “I-I want to take the extra credit option!” She blurts out, her hands clutching the sides of her uniform skirt as she looks away. This is embarrassing.

“Fueguchi-chan, you realize you don’t need extra credit, right?” He asks her, looking amused. He probably was, she was making a fool of herself. “Your grades are near perfect. Most colleges would beg for you to enroll at their place.” He says factually, as she knows it already. She worked very hard to keep her grades up - studying every day making sure that she won’t let herself slip. It was just what she was good at.

“Um, I know, but… I want to enter Kamii, and it’s the biggest college around… I just want to have the best chances I can get….” She bluffed quickly. She did want to go to Kamii, but she was already sort of volunteering in her dad’s hospital. Not a lot, but the chances they turn her away with grades and background are already very, very low.

“You want to enter Kamii? That was my school! It is really hard to get accepted. Alright, let’s see, then.. Is there something in particular you want to do for you volunteer work? There are a few options, but if you have an idea already, I can refer you to a few places.” He beams at her and she bites her lips trying not to smile too much.

She thought to herself. In her father’s hospital she comes by every now and then to the children section, to read them stories and make them smile, playing with them and helping them with whatever they need. “...Something with children, maybe?..” She hesitantly suggested. Hinami had no idea what she was getting into, really, but it wouldn’t be that bad. She thinks.

“Well, honestly, there’s a few places in town that can fit that... “ He starts, and his hand rises and settles behind his back as he thinks. Is she imagining or is there a blush on his face? “But there’s this one place that I think you could really help in… There’s this orphanage in 20th ward, named :re, and it absolutely needs more hands there! It would be great if you can volunteer there!”

He looked really happy as he mentioned all of this. She was glad she picked to say she’d like to work with children. Her teacher was pretty much ecstatic. It’s going unbelievably well. “It sounds great!” She responded just as excitedly. He smiled at her, dazzling as ever.

“Wonderful! I’ll phone the manager for you!” He clapped his hands happily as he said that. “Oh! And also write you down the address and all. When do you have a free day to start? Any day should work.” He asked her, taking a piece of paper and pen out of his bag, following his words.

“I can start even today!” She almost yelled at him, but he didn’t seem to mind as he gave her the paper in his hands. Hinami wasn’t really thinking at the time, she was feeling so giddy. The fact he looked so happy made her heart flutter a little.

“Alright! You can go there where you finish school, I’ll tell Touka-chan for you. I’m sure she’d be thrilled to have you around. I’m glad you decided to volunteer, Fueguchi-chan.” He said and left the room. Hinami looked at the the small piece of paper in her hand and the address written carefully on it, suddenly realizing what she did.

What have I gotten myself into?

I… can I really do this?

It took her a while, but she finally found the orphanage. It was almost at the very end of the block Mr. Kaneki told her to go to, and was medium sized, in all honesty. At least compared to her neighbourhood’s houses, that is. It looked pretty well managed though, clean and prettily organized, potted plants sitting at the window sill.

Nonetheless, the nervousness still keeps her stuck in her place. She may have worked with children before, but not with strangers. Her father was always around when she came by to the hospital, and if she wanted to see her mom, she could have simply went to the other wing in the hospital and tell her hey.

She should have dragged Chiasa and Kanna here too. What if she screws this up? Why didn’t she think of a more clever excuse? So much for an honor student.. Being smart doesn’t help her if she doesn’t actually think! Her fingers run through her hair as she tried to overcome the anxiousness that lingered within her. Three seconds, and she’ll stand up to that door in front of her and knock on it.

One. Two… Thre-

The door creaked as it opened and Hinami yelped, taking a few quick steps back. In front of her, there was a beautiful lady standing, despite looking awfully surprised with her eyebrows raised high. “Oh! Sorry. Are you okay?” She asks her, and Hinami is still a bit shocked, but nods. “Is that uniform?... Yes, it is! You are from Tokyo Central High School, right? Your teacher told me you were coming.”

“Yes.. Hello. I’m Hinami Fueguchi… It’s nice to meet you.” She introduces herself politely. She wants the first impression to be positive. Her parents always said it was important.

“Nice to meet you too. I’m Touka Kirishima. I’m the manager of this place.” She returned the gesture, and Hinami finally really took the time to take her in - she had pretty blue eyes, that went well with her short blue hair. She had soft facial features that only added to her beauty with the mature aura that surrounded her.

Wow…

Touka led her in, letting her look around the place. It felt homely. A lot of book shelves, cozy looking sofas and patterned, soft rugs made it look much for like house for a family rather than a foster house. The windows had velvety blue curtains, and Hinami could see a small form peeking from behind the fabric.

“Hmmm?” Touka noticed she had her gaze set on something, it seems. She turns her head to look. “Yuki, come over here! Meet our new volunteer here. It’s okay.” She tells him, and Yuki hesitates, but with Touka’s reassuring grin encouraging him, Yuki ran to her, hiding from Hinam behind her leg.

Hinami puts on her best smile as she crouches down to the kid. Her father always told her, that kids like having you on their eye level. She’s kept this as a golden rule in her heart, to always think of how you look like the child in front of you, as he they are much more vulnerable. This applied to this kid especially - the look of uncertainty in his eyes and they way he clutched Touka’s skirt spoke volumes already. “Hello. I’m Hinami. What is your name?”

She already knew his name, Touka said it already, but she personally thinks it’s always better to let children speak for themselves. He was pouting at her adorably, but he was only backing away more from her. Touka nudged him with her hip and he huffed.

“Yuki..” He answered, albeit forcibly, but still did. It's a start, isn’t it? He was shying away from her, but it wasn’t as if she could have expected kids to warm up to her ever since day one. That’s just not going to happen. She would just have to do her best, looking welcoming and gain his, along with others trust.

Touka sighed at the scene in front of her. “Yuki, can you call the others down? We need them to get to know her, too.” She told him, ruffling his hair before he nodded and scurried away upstairs. “Come on, I’ll show you to the rest of the staff until he actually manages to gather all of them here.”

There was a lack in staff, as Kaneki-sensei said back in class. Touka practically introduced her to three people - Irimi Kaya, Koma Enji, and Yomo Renji. All of them seemed nice enough. Irimi and Koma were working in the kitchen, making dinner for the kids together while Yomo was feeding the orphanage’s parrot. All three were polite to her, something was immensely grateful for. She doesn’t handle rude or brash people well.

By the time the introductions were over, all the kids settled downstairs on the soft rug in the living room. There were only six of them, and all were either sitting patiently in a respectable way or simply sprawled on the carpet beneath them with no care in the world. There was no in between, and Hinami giggled at the sight.

“Alright everyone!” Touka called out to children, snatching their attention as she clapped her hands. “I want you all to meet a new person here. Her name is Fueguchi Hinami and she’s going to volunteer here from now on. Be nice to her, all of you, okay?”

The kids reaction ranged from soft, agreeing humming to blank stares that left Hinami the slightest bit uncomfortable. She wondered if she did something to upset a few of the kids, but as her mind backtracked she couldn’t really think of anything that would be considered rude…

“Manager! Where’s Nii-chan?” One of the boys suddenly asked. It was off-topic, but it seemed like the kids were much more interested in that from how they’ve perked up at the question. Touka ran a hand through her silky hair, sighing. Hinami just stayed quiet, labeling it in her mind as a case of bad attention span, more so for herself to feel a bit less embarrassed.

Touka looked at the watch on her hand. “He should be here by now… He isn’t usually late. I’ll call him. Fueguchi-chan, do you mind staying with them, for a little while?” She asked, seemingly biting her inner cheek as she looked at the phone she had just pulled out of her pocket.

“Of course, don’t worry…” Hinami replied, though admittedly, she was pretty nervous about staying with the kids alone. They did not seem to like her much. Even if it was just because she was a stranger, it was disheartening. Hinami licked her dry, chapped lips. She brought this on herself.

“Thank you! I’ll be right back.” Touka said and left for one of the backrooms, her steps rushed as she walks away. Meanwhile, Hinami settles between the kids that all look at her as if she’s the only black sheep in the herd. Two of the girls inch closer, seemingly taking interest in her earrings from some reason, despite them being as plain as any medical earrings are. Granted, they’re gemstone earrings and therefore a bit sparkly, but she doesn’t think ten year olds would still be very excited about a bit of shimmer.

“It’s pretty.” One of the girls says. The other one frowns at her, and her head shakes profusely in protest.

“It looks boring. Nii-san’s safety pin looks the best!” The other girl stated, her arms folded in front of her and her head raised high. She then turns to Hinami with a smirk on her face. “He told me I could do one like that when I grow up too!” The other children ignored her. One even yawned. It must be a typical behavior of hers.

Hinami cleared her parched throat. She hoped all that time she spent with the kids at the hospital would prove to help her. “First, thank you!” She told to the little girl who complimented her. The kid’s cheeks were rosy in color, but she didn’t say anything. “Second… That’s a cool earring you are describing. It would fit you well, I think.” She chuckled as she saw the content on the proud girl’s face. “Would you both tell me your names?”

“It’s a secret-”

“I’m Miyu, and her name is Akemi.” The girl that complimented her said, and Hinami giggled as Akemi snapped her face to Miyu in betrayal, her long hair flips dramatically. Miyu laughed and ran away at full speed, and the other girl chased her, her small feet putting in work as they ran in circles around the sofa.

The other children joined them, and quickly the entire thing became a tag game. Hinami watched them play carefully, letting them have their fun while making sure they don’t trip or break anything. She was grinning from ear to ear as the children ran around her, occasionally using her as shield to avoid getting caught. 

Their laughter filled the room and their smiles were warm and bright. It made Hinami feel much better about the idea of volunteering. Even if she was insecure, everything seemed to work out pretty well. Until she heard an intense yell echoing through the room, at least.

“AYATO! It’s not up for debate now. Just get yourself home already!” Touka shouted, her voice strained and tired. and all movement in the living room stopped. Hinami could see Touka coming out of the back room, angrily clicking and tapping on her phone while sighing. All heads were turned to her, even with the children frozen in spot.

Touka looked around her and saw what she had accidentally caused. Her tired eyes crinkled up as she smiled to reassure the kids everything is fine. “You all, it’s time to start setting the dinner table. How about all of you help today? Show Fueguchi-chan how grown up you are.”

The children nodded, sprinting away towards the kitchen in a hurry. Touka let her smile fall the minute they were out of sight. Hinami felt bad for the woman - she looked so stressed. Hinami stood up and walked over to her. “Is everything okay, Kirishima-san?” she asked softly, her voice benevolent.

“Ah… Don’t worry. It’s just my little brother. He’s a good person, but sometimes he’s a real problem child.” She laughed, albeit forcibly, but there was still a glint in her eyes that was full of fondness as she spoke. “He’s a bit older than you, but he’s as moody as a real child. I think the kids here might be affecting him.”

Hinami laughed at that thought. She can’t really imagine it. Touka radiated such a mature vibe, that Hinami had a hard time of thinking of how her brother is like if not the same. Especially since he was older than her, too - a bit older would make him a college boy. It seems bizarre in her mind, but she won’t know unless she meets him.

Touka shakes her head. “Let’s just go help the kids, now. If we actually let them set the table alone, they might just start a food fight.” She puts a hand on Hinami’s shoulder and pats her before leaving towards the kitchen, and Hinami followed in tow.

They were all sitting around the long dinner table now, eating the special katsudon Irimi and Koma made specifically to welcome Hinami. It was crowded, ten people all in all gathering in a table too small for them. Hinami wondered if it was a usual thing for them, to feel so squeezed in their seats at dinners. There were still two people missing, as well! Touka’s little brother is not back, and Yomo-san had to leave early.

Back at home, she barely sat with more than one person when they ate dinner. It was almost depressing to think about how silent her dinners are in comparison to the happy go lucky feeling of these one. All the children ate their food deliciously, arguing about anything they possibly can and when Touka doesn’t manage to stop them in time, also attempted throwing food at each other.

It was homely, and it was a welcome change for Hinami.

“Do you like it, Fueguchi-chan?” Koma asked her from the other side of the table, cheery as he took another bite from his meal. Irimi seemed to be interested in her answer too. These two seemed like a gag duo, but at the same time, anything but. Like a well oiled machine, they worked and acted as lifelong friends.

“Yes! It’s really excellent!” She replied joyfully. If she were to be honest, she is not a fast eater - she eats very slowly, but with this meal, she practically cleaned the plate after a few mere minutes. Both of the cooks beamed at her.

“See, kiddos? You are really spoiled, having Kaya and Enji coming over and cooking for you every week. ” Touka remarked, and most of the kids pouted, except those who were sitted next to the two mentioned - those kids simply latched onto the duo, as if they were their favorite uncle and aunt.

There was a sound from the living room area, of a door opening. Hinami sees Miyu rising from her chair. Actually, all the kids looked rather excited.

“Aneki! I’m here!” Hinami hears a deep, yet sharp voice calling. The brother is here. “What’s that smell? You are eating already? I waited for dinner you know-” The voice grows louder, more clear with every step she hears is taken until the source finally arrives in front of the dinner table.

When she finally sees him, her eyes widen. She should have expected it after looking at his sister, but her younger brother is just a gorgeous as she is. He had a bit of a long hair, for a boy, but it framed his face nicely - his sharp, strong features making it work and his deep blue eyes staring into her soul, drawing her in.

She has to literally shake her head to get over the shock. He’s really beautiful...

“Why is she still here?”

Okay, maybe not on the inside, though.

“Ayato! That’s rude! She’s going to volunteer here, having her for dinner is the least we could do. So sit down and eat your food.” Touka glared at him. Ayato grimaced and shoved his hands down his pockets. He didn’t even look at her as he said hi to the kids, as if choosing to remain ignorant to her presence.

“Ayato…” His sister warned. There was something hostile in the air. It made Hinami feel as if she was choking, the warm, familial feeling from before disappearing and room turned stone cold.

“We don’t need her here. Since when we even said we needed volunteers? We can do just fine by ourselves!” He yelled at Touka. Irimi and Koma promptly rose from their chairs, taking the kids away.

“Let’s go, everyone, we’ll make an exception today and let you eat in your rooms.” Irimi says, and in no time all of the kids shuffle away from the scene, going up to their rooms. She spares a pitiful glance at Hinami, that just sits silently as the siblings keep arguing.

“We needed more people since forever! Why are you denying it? Yomo can’t be here all the time, Kaya and Enji can only come here once or twice a week. And you! You have college still! you can’t be here half of the day! Not to mention you want to take a part time job.. I’m lucky Nishiki even covers for me some days, or I would have never seen the light of day for at least the last six months!”

Hinami wonders if she should run out of the place. No, not a good idea. It will only cause more drama. She can’t even bring herself to move anyway, her mary janes feel like they’ve been glued to the floor.

“Then why do we have to rely on that half-assed fucker’s handout? He’s only done you wrong, didn’t he? I told you on the phone already, nothing good will come out of this!” He retorted almost right away.

Did he just call me a handout? She’s always been good in disguising her feelings since she entered high school, but right now, she was feeling too nauseous and hurt to manage. Handout? She was always trying her best, she always aimed for the top - and now she was reduced to something more akin of a rag doll that nobody longer cares for.

She breathed in hesitantly, and as she expected, it sounded more like a choked whimper. Touka looked at her, the fury in her eyes softening to regret. “I-I… I think I will go. Uh, now.” She said in a strained, distressing voice and finally rose from her chair, rushing towards the door area where her school bag laid.

“Fueguchi-chan!” She heard Touka calling, but she didn’t react, just pressed forward.

“Wait!!” A high pitched voice reached her ears, and she looked back. And then down.

Akemi was there, running down the steps of the staircase to her, holding onto her uniform’s jacket. Hinami’s eyes were already spilling out tears, so she attempted to not look at the girl directly. “Y-Yes?” she asked uneasily.

“I-I lied!” She said, her eyes a bit fearful themselves. “About the earrings, I mean… They’re not boring! You do look pretty with them!” She said, her face telling Hinami everything - she’s as honest as they get. “Please don’t be sad…” The girl trailed off.

It wasn’t what Hinami needed to hear at that moment, but as she sniffled, she realized it’s better than nothing.

“Thank you.” She patted the girl’s head. “I’ll b-be leaving now.”

Akemi waved her goodbye, and Hinami returned the gesture, and then left the orphanage, just wishing to return home and fall asleep under her warm blankets. Her chest still aching and her heart still pounding from the rush of the situation. What he said was unnecessarily mean and he was needlessly hostile.

Those kisses that he peppered across her face and down to her torso had her drunk like this, she figures. Hinami was always a meek, obedient student - staying away from problems and always trying to be at best performence.  She would never touch alcohol, a cigarette, or god forbid any drug. She had never let herself, knowing that she might do something stupid. Now that she thinks about it, she might as well has been doing all three mentioned.

Considering she’s currently in an empty classroom, laying on the teacher’s desk panting as her upperclassman had his hand in her skirt, and his mouth on her breasts that only seconds ago were covered by her white shirt that now hangs on her unbuttoned and wrinkled.

The situation was surreal to her. She could not understand how they reached it - Kirishima Ayato was an aloof, but kind senior that had a regal aura. He was very liked, but had a small group of friends around him he chose to surround himself with. He was handsome and quiet, mysterious in a way. She never imagined him being so affectionate like this, especially not out in the open, but the way his hands slid around her body had found a way to melt her.

In reality, it was supposed to be one of their tutor sessions - Hinami, having problems with history lessons lately had landed herself help from the school itself. He truly did his best to help her, even if she managed to get on his nerves with her repetitive mistakes at the start.

Something with the first kiss he gave her, a few weeks ago, was what ignited all of this. It’s still stuck in her mind, how he came up from his sit that day after staring at her, closing the gap between their lips, not minding the table that separated them.

And now it’s like this…

She rose to a sitting position and his mouth was now on her nipple, sucking the sensitive flesh harshly. He pretty much torn her bra for it, but she couldn’t really bring herself to care, at the moment. He was touching her in all the right spots, it was a price worth paying. Her moans grew louder as he flicked his tongue against her nipple.

“Ayato-senpai..” She let out as she felt of his hands sliding her uniform skirt down, while his other hand caressing her thigh. Her toes curled at the feeling, and she pressed her leg to his hand. Without a warning he squeezes her thigh, and she squeaks.

He lifted his head, a settled it on her shoulder, kissing her earlobe. “Keep the Ayato-senpai. You are a good girl, aren’t you? Call me daddy.” Hinami flushes red at how sultry his voice is as he whispers it. She heard about this sort of thing, by the gossip of her friends and books she had secretly read, but at the same time, she never expected to get the chance to experience it.

It’s somewhat embarrassing, but at the same time… she couldn’t deny it was sort of exciting to think about, as well.

His index finger is under the side of her panties, playing with it as he watches her and waits for her to talk, his eyes crinkled. He was definitely amused. Her lips are in a tight line, but if she won’t speak he is going to drive her insane.

“…Can you please…Touch me more…?”

He tilts his head to the side. “Complete that sentence.” The same smirk still present.

The redness on her cheeks refusing to fade, she pulled him closer to her, her forehead touching his chest. “…Can you please, touch me more…? Daddy?”

Ayato ruffled her her hair, while at the same time brushing back a few strands that stuck to her face. She was adorable, in his eyes. “Sure.” He slided her panties down the same way as he did with her skirt, the fabric adding to the pile of clothes he removed from her on the floor.

He took her by the waist and led her away from the desk, pinning her against the whiteboard of the classroom. His fingers easily found their way to her core. She was already so wet. He circled her clit with his thumb and she arched, becoming a mess of moans as he caressed all her folds and found her entrance.

One finger in already got her to almost yell. She’s lucky that nobody is in the school in these hours - they would’ve been caught for sure. “You like it like that, don’t you?” He whispers to her ear, and grabs one of her hands with his free one, putting it on the bulge in his pants. “You should get ready for that, too, you know.”

Hinami’s lips quivered as he entered his second finger into her. It’s almost too much, but she has to remind to herself this is only the start. “Y-yes, daddy.” She can feel his half hard outline through his pants, and it’s only turns her on more. Palming him through the fabric, she’s finally eliciting a few raspy moans from him.

Her fingers squeeze his his cock, until she chooses to rub him instead, in the same rhythm he is fingering her at. His fingers rock inside her relentlessly until he decides it’s too much for him too. “You did so well for me. You don’t need to wait any longer.”

He pulls his pants and underwear down, both are barely hanging on his knees. Hinami blushes at the sight, but doesn’t look away. At this moment, all she cared about was satisfying that neediness that drove her up the wall.

“Ready?” He asks her. She nods at him.

“Good girl.” He says and kisses her while penetrating. She clutches him, a bit shocked from the initial pain of it all. He slammed in quickly, though, and now he was giving her time to breathe.

She doesn’t want to wait, though. Grabbing him by his tie, she kisses him messily as she tries to convey its okay for him to move by wrapping her legs around him and rocking against him.

In no time he grants her wish - he’s thrusting into her quick and hard. Her nails dig into his back, and she whines each time she feels the cold whiteboard behind her touch her lower back. Ayato presses harder into her each time, and Hinami can barely bring herself to even think properly.

“Come for me.” He stops their kiss and tells her, his hand tightening on her body as he changes to slow, slow thrusts. He wants her to go insane, she knows it - she’s so close to that release, and he’s suddenly going slower.

“Please, faster…” She practically squeaks at him, but Ayato, through his groans just looks at her, clicking his tongue.

“You can do better than that.”

She whined. she needed it now! “Please! Faster, daddy.”

Ask and you shall receive, as they say. His pace became erratic, and the thrusts themselves were frantic. His lips were back on hers, and his hands squeezed her frame, stimulating her from all over her body - in less than a few seconds she had found herself spasming on top of him, reaching her release, and he found his right after as her walls squeezed tightly against him.

They held onto their position for a few moments longer, before Ayato dropped to the floor, knees weak. She fell on top of him, leaning to him. They both were trying to find a way to even out their breaths, and Hinami, tired, laid her head on his shoulder.

“Ayato-senpai, you are really cruel.” She complained half-jokingly as she wrapped his hands around him. He snorts.

There was something about today that set Hinami on edge. Under the thick white blankets that covered all of her small, singular bed, she was shivering as cold sweat glided down her face. Heat coiled in her stomach. As she breathed in and out, trying to calm her body, scents she has never smelled before had reached her nose, nostrils widening to their full extent as the sharp whiff hit them.

Nothing was wrong around her. The window was shut, the glass separating the world outside from her warm room. Everything was clean, no dust and no dirt. She and Touka actually took it upon themselves to clean the café and its building’s floors. Everything was spotless, the floor parquet shining to the point Hinami could almost see herself reflecting in it.

For a few moments, stuck in her own world and haze, she wondered if she had returned to Cochlea. She remembers that feeling coming in bits there, every day, even if she had attempted to erase anything from those times where all she could do was to stare at a pristine white wall, wandering in her dark cell and try to not let herself fall insane to the feeling that tried oh so hard to eat her up.

She blocked her nose with her hands, trying to avoid those thoughts and those scents, but her heightened senses were not helping. She tried to cough out all of that stinking air out of her lungs, only to realize they were filling her up instead, burning inside. Hinami held her sides, clutching on to it as if to block a gash from bleeding out. She kicked away her blankets, coughing some more to herself as she rose from the bed, unable to remain in place through the pain.

She couldn’t figure for the life of her what has been going on in her body, to what it reacted, but she desperately needed to get it out of her system – she felt as if she was going to die, her ability to breathe being taken away from her. Every time she inhaled she had felt as if more and more weights have settled on her shoulder, trying to force her down to the floor. Stop it, stop it, stop it!

What is happening to me? Her steps were heavy and she walked towards the one spot slightly lit in the room, her window. The moon showers it with dim, yet glowing light and Hinami sees it as her guiding northern star. The air will finally be clear when she will reach it and open it, finally escaping from that choked up room that took her prisoner.

Between the sensations crawling below her skin and the memories she had long ago filed away in her brain, everything on her mind just told her to make it stop. She grabbed the lower sash of the window by its rail, forcing it up with her shaking fingers. Let me breathe! She wails, still aching. A breeze entered the room, and Hinami basked in it.

Tears she wasn’t aware of fell from her eyes. It only hurt more.

She let herself fall on the floor, holding her knees as she leaned against the wall, huddling under the window sill, trying to shield herself from unnecessary pain. She felt frail and helpless and so, so alone. As if on cue, more tears formed on her lashes. The thought made her feel so useless, so unneeded, and so unlovable.

She had felt something similar to this before, back in Cochlea, but it hurts so much worse now. Back then it was only fleeting pangs of pain, of overflowing emotions she couldn’t really understand. But now it was a full-fledged attack on her body. Her pajamas were soaked in sweat, hot flashes coming and going as they please. Her throat was dry, and she felt starved. She wasn’t hungry, she just felt denied of something.

She didn’t even notice she was sobbing loudly. She didn’t even hear the footsteps behind her door, or the urgent knocks on it. She didn’t hear their calls for her, she didn’t hear anything. The only thing that she could feel was the scents that were lingering outside the room. The scents that barged in as Touka entered the room, running to Hinami, while Yomo, Kaneki and Nishiki stared at her with terror in their eyes from the entrance.

Touka pulled her into a tight hug, trying to calm her and whisk her away from her frenzy. Hinami clawed at Touka’s shoulders as she tried to breathe in the calming fragrance Touka radiated. Everything was still so awfully out of place, but even if she was still on edge, catching a whiff of that calming smell relaxed her, if only a little bit. She nuzzled into Touka’s neck who in response only nudged her to continue as she needed.

Her soft fingers caressed the top of her head. Hinami’s whimpering slowed down. It was comforting, to have Touka tend to her. It was comforting, but not quite right. The pain dulled and the burn that dwelled inside had mellowed, but something was still lacking, she was still hurting, and she couldn’t tell why. Why am I like this?

Her tears stopped as she slowly breathed in and out, still in Touka’s embrace. Kaneki tried to step into the room then, only to be grabbed by Yomo and Nishiki. Touka turned her head to the entrance, her lips pursued, frowning. “Stay out of the room and close the door!” She yelled at the men’s direction. Yomo immediately shut the door at the statement. Touka sighed. She rubbed Hinami’s back gently, as Hinami was still jumpy from the ordeal.

“Hinami…” Touka whispered. “You should go back to bed. You need to rest.” She told her, voice as soft as possible. Touka didn’t want to stress her any more than she already is. It was more than likely she no idea what she was going through, anyway. She doubts Ryouko ever had the time to fully explain what presenting is like.

Hinami bites her lips as she’s shaking her head. “Nee-chan, what is wrong with me..?” She tries to ask, but Touka puts a finger on her lips, an apologetic smile on her face. She helps Hinami up, lending her a shoulder to lean on and walks with her back to the bed, letting her sit comfortably, at the very least.

“I promise I’ll explain everything in the morning, but you really need to sleep. I’ll stay here tonight to make sure everything is fine. You’ll be alright, I promise.” Touka covered them both with the blankets. She couldn’t possibly leave Hinami alone tonight - she needs someone to at least hold her, to mellow down the pain and reassure her that she isn’t alone.

“Okay…” Hinami replies, shutting her eyes tightly, trying to ignore every throb in her body that told her that it was still wrong, that she had to get up and find what she needed. She needed that explanation now, but it wouldn’t help her to press on the subject at her state. Touka took her hand and squeezed tightly, and Hinami did her best to focus on the warmth radiating from her. She clenched her teeth and removed any thought from her mind.

Hurting and aching still, Hinami had fallen asleep. She still felt choked, she still felt empty inside, but at the very least, breathing in Touka’s calming, motherly scent made the fire die down, if only a little.

-

She woke up, her eyes fluttering open. Touka was still holding her hand in hers. The other woman was already wide awake, watching over her with concern clear in her eyes. Hinami frowned at the thought of making Touka so worried, but at the same time, she knew it wasn’t for granted.

Even in her dream, the aching, insistent feeling kept drilling in. Hinami couldn’t avoid it - the fire that was lit under her consumed her from head to toe, calling her to satisfy it, to indulge in it, to let it devour her even more so than before.

It was strange. In her dream, as she got closer and closer to the flame in front of her, she only felt better, the heat that hurt her spreading around, letting her bask in sweet warmth instead of scorching pain.

Hinami didn’t want to think about it anymore. She just wanted to know what was happening to her. She was tired of being left out in the dark, to try to figure it out on her own. She squeezed Touka’s hand, to signal her that she’s awake, as she ran a hand through her messy, tangled hair, moving it away from her face.

Touka looked down at her. “Good morning, Hinami.” she smiled at her. Hinami didn’t know it, but for the first night of presenting, she had been very calm in comparison to other ghouls. She was obviously not out of pain, but she handled it very well, all things considered. “How are you feeling?”

“It’s still there, but… It’s better than yesterday…” She grimaced. In all honesty, her head was still pounding, her throat was still dry. She felt as fragile as a leaf and she just wanted all those sensations to stop, but she bothered Touka enough about it. As if it wasn’t enough that she made them endanger themselves for her in Cochlea, now this? She doesn’t want to be a problem anymore. “Nee-chan… you said you’d explain…”

Touka sighed, but nodded. She promised her yesterday, after all. “Hinami, do you remember that one time, I told you that I was an alpha? When you told me I started smelling differently, a long time ago.” Touka asked her. Hinami remembers something like that, back when she was living with Touka. She nodded, waiting for Touka to continue.

“It’s just like back then, only you are going through it now. You are presenting. I guess it hit you really hard because you are a bit of a late bloomer, though I can’t say that for sure, either…” Her words died down. Hinami generally had developed strangely compared to other ghouls. From her oddly strong senses to her double kakuhou, she had always grew just a bit differently. There could be a lot of reasons for this, but she isn’t going to speculate now. Hinami is confused as it is.

“...So, you mean I’m an alpha?...” She asked, her brows furrowing in confusion. Presenting could mean you are one of three things - either an alpha, beta, or omega. In the end of the day, they were just titles for pheromone types, and nothing more than it, but it was still usually easier to find betas rather than alphas and omegas. Both of her parents were betas. It would make much more sense, if she were one too.

“Ah… No. Definitely not. You’re an omega, from your scent. And from the way you presented, too.” Touka clarified, and Hinami stared at her. She heard omegas usually have it the hardest when presenting. In Aogiri Tree, she met quite a few omegas. She remembers one day specifically, when one omega presented while on mission. Hinami helped her leave before any problem occurred, but Hinami still has one vivid sentence from the grunts stuck in her mind.

‘They’re coddling her when all she really needs is to get fucked. Stupid, if you ask me.’

Hinami blushed, even the tips of her ears becoming red. It finally hit her - yesterday was completely driven by needing something beyond a hug or a kiss. Things that happen in the books Eto had written, that she tried to shy away from yet couldn’t help but take a peek at.

Touka laughed as she saw Hinami bite her lips, averting her eyes to the ground. Of course Hinami would already know. Some part of Touka still sees Hinami as the little kid she was used to seeing smiling every day in Anteiku, a book in her hand and a clover pins in her hair. But it’s obvious now that she’s growing older now. She didn’t need any talk.

“I’m sure you know what you just got into, seeing that face.” Touka pinched her cheeks lightly, and Hinami frowned from the teasing, pouting at her, only making the older snort. “So keep to yourself for a while, okay? I’m here because I’m mated, and I won’t release any pheromone that will cause you distraught, but this won’t be the same with other people.”

Hinami nodded.  She felt nervous about it all, but she will have to adapt. She can’t rely on Touka to help her. She has her own problems to deal with. Hinami figured it out already - she would have to find a way to cope on her own.

-

She spends the next two days holed up in her room, hiding underneath the blankets, trying to ignore all the pheromones she had been releasing to the atmosphere. The first day may have been the worst, but the ache was still steady, consistent and desperately was trying to break her down. She didn’t need more pheromone whiffs - it’ll only drive her nuts.

Then again, she feels like she is dying anyway. She needed to at least do something, move a little, anything of that sort. Her arms were starting to feel numb from their fixed position they were in. All she needed was something to do.

She figured reading a book will be nice. She may have read all the books she had more than she could count on two hands, but it was better than doing absolutely nothing. She raised her blankets from her slightly, looking at the books the piled up on her nightstand like a tall, asymmetrical tower.

Taking the top book of the pile, Hinami started reading almost immediately. The book were one of the newer ones, that she read less, and she didn’t remember much of it, but it didn’t make it any less interesting than the others. Sparing no time, she delved into the book, her eyes constantly jumping between sentence to sentence.

Half an hour passed in a blink of an eye, and Hinami smiled to herself at the thought that she managed to even grow a bit distracted from the pain and needs she was feeling.

Hinami was at the middle of the book, when she remembered that this was one one of the books Eto has written, as well as one of the rare cases where she actually decided to add in romance scenes.

Pushing her back, he had pinned her on the bed. His fingers slid under the thin straps of her shirt, before pulling on it, tearing it apart from her--

Before she could read any more, Hinami had threw the book on the wall, watching it fall on the floor. Its cover taking most of the hit rather than the content. She grimaced as she breathed in too much pheromones in the middle of it all. She hid under the blankets once again, groaning loudly as she felt the feverish sensation setting under her skin once again.

She held onto her pillow, sinking her face in it as she felt her the heat settling so clearly in her core. She straightened her legs, her thighs pressed against each other as she tried to surpass the need to touch herself, the need to find somebody to touch her.

You need it. Don’t lie to yourself. Can’t you smell the scents outside?

She can smell them. Each and every one of them. It was all so surreal, how she became so sensitive in just a few seconds flat. It was also amazing, how she could differentiate every person from a whiff that blew in the wind.

Some scents were less appealing than others, but those who were appealing - they drew her in. Before she knew it, she was at the door, twisting the knob, on her way to setting herself free.

It was already nearing midnight, at this point. Most of the ghouls Hinami could sniff out were behind closed doors, if not locked rooms. It was the first time she had actually seen :re this quiet at night. It didn’t matter. The fragrance she sniffed right now was the best, and it came from downstairs.

Skipping through the stairs of the cafe, she entered the back of the kitchen, a sweet aroma of freshly made coffee reaching her nose at the same as the musky, strong one she had caught wind of even upstairs. In front of her she saw Ayato standing in front of a steaming kettle and a filled up coffee cup. He turned his head to her the second she stepped in the room.

His eyes grew wide at the sight of her. Or was it the pheromones that hit him? She didn’t care much, at the moment. The only thing on her mind was how he looking at her. Only her. It was almost maddening, how much she could be satisfied by him only looking.

What will happen if we do more? It would feel so good.

His pretty, high nose crinkled, and she knew he felt the pheromones she was radiating now, if not before. “Hinami… I heard from Touka. Feel better soon. I am going to my room, uh, I’ll see you-” He tried to escape from the kitchen before they will be stuck in an irreversible situation, but she caught him in a corner already, pinning him to the kitchen wall with her small frame, locking her arms behind his neck. She nuzzled her face into his shoulder and collarbone, both covered by his black shirt, to her dismay.

“...Hina…” His voice wavered. The sweetness of her scent was starting to have an effect on his brain. Even with her cloths on, she felt so soft pressed against him. Felt so warm. He always had a soft spot for her, he could never tell her no - and now she’s rubbing against him, looking up at him with bright brown puppy eyes.

“Make me feel better.”

It’s a plead. Her voice is strained and needy, a symphony to any alpha’s ears - but more than that, it’s only for his ears to hear. He knows he shouldn’t, Touka has told him what the situation is like, but he can barely object as pheromones are already clouding his mind. He brought his hand to her face, hovering above her cheek for a few hesitant seconds before giving in and settling on it, pulling her towards him.

She leaned into him, standing on the tips of her toes as she closed the gap between her lips and his. His lips were soft and supple, so different to his appearance that seemed dedicated to make him into a tough and rugged commander he was. They were moving against her lips so eagerly, while his hand was pressing at the back of her head, all in order to get closer. It made her dizzy in pleasure.

She felt his other hand sliding down her body, stopping on her ass. She released a small squeal as he grabbed it, her lips opening just enough for him to slip in his tongue. Ayato didn’t know what candy tasted like, but he was sure she was as sweet as one.

Hinami felt as if she was in some euphoric high. If two days ago Touka’s hug put away the flame, Ayato had only made it stronger, but it burnt so nicely, as if the flames were simply hovering around her, dancing in joy against her and Ayato. It made her so excited she couldn’t help but kiss him messily, only trying to explore more of his mouth as saliva trickled down their chins.

he stopped kissing her and she squinted her eyes at him. Why did you stop? Keep kissing me, it’s so good! She was about to pull him back to the kiss when he lifted her up and flipped them over, Hinami now the one pressed against the wall. She was holding onto him as if her life depended on it, locking her legs behind his waist for security. Her head was against him chest, as if trying to hide from the sudden change, but she lifted her head after a few, long seconds, finally allowing herself to take a glance at him.

At that moment, Hinami found out herself unable to look away. With sweat starting to fall down his face and his eyes that pierced through her, hungry for more, it was simply hypnotizing view to take in, and it took her breath away.

You are so beautiful.

He grinded against her as his lips found her neck, sucking on the soft skin there. Hinami’s neck arched, either from the sensation or for the sake of giving more access. She didn’t care which one it was, it was all blurry in her mind, and the only thing she was able to focus on was him.

Hands under his shirt, she tries to lift it up, her fingers trailing his muscles underneath it as he was playing with the strap of her nightdress, sliding it off her shoulder with his teeth before going back to kiss her collarbone. Both of them were so caught up in the moment they’ve didn’t notice anything around them, their eyes locked on each other.

“What the fuck is happening here?” Hinami froze in place as she heard a feminine, high pitched, angry voice yelling at their direction. Ayato’s immediately lifted his head at the sentence. Touka stared at them, a storm hiding behind her blue eyes. Yomo who was standing near her sighed at the sight. “I told you something. I told both of you something.”

Ayato almost hissed at her as she stepped up to both of them. “Put her down. I mean it.” Touka basically commanded. Hinami felt like she was watching them holding a staring contest, both of their eyes unblinking in similar squints, equally mad at each other. Neither of them surrender until Yomo entered the scene, grasping Ayato’s shoulder rather tightly.

He gritted his teeth, and spared glance filled with guilt at Hinami, that was still tucked, secured in his embrace. He pushed one of her legs back down gently, making her return to standing position. She was still aghast at the turn of events. Her hands slid down his arms, reaching the tips of his fingers, intertwining them with hers. Maybe, just maybe, will you stay? She wanted to ask, but the words already died down her throat.

Yomo already started to drag him off, even if she could have brought herself to say it in time, and their hands were torn from other. Stumbling back, Ayato has no choice but to turn away and leave.

The clock hit twelve, and he was out of sight, as Touka took her back to her room. The fairytale reached its end, and there’s not shoe to slip off to continue it. 

Will you look at me, afterwards? -

If before she was hiding under her blankets for the sake of being able to breathe, now she’s been doing the same for almost the exact opposite reason. It’s one thing to present and make people worry, that can happen to anybody, but it’s a completely different thing to jump at one of the closest people to you as if you were lovers for years.

But it wasn’t even that, that made her want to hole herself up in her room and never get out. It was the fact that there was a very insistent part of her that kept telling her how she wouldn’t have regretted it, had it happened. That she would have been happier, if anything. That his embrace the warmed her up and made her feel at home could have only led her to joy.

She couldn’t help but agree.

Her thoughts trail back to that day, where they all had come to save her in Cochlea. Even then, when she couldn’t smell pheromones that well, the way he held her shoulder and gazed into her eyes were enough for her to feel in safe hands. Ever since then, it was clear that he had only wanted the best for her. Only wanted to bring her home.

Did I mess it all up, now?

It pained her to think about that possibility, about how likely it is. She can already imagine that he would distance himself away from her, avoiding her gaze - whether if it’s because Touka told him to stay away for a little bit, or the possibility that he wasn’t okay with the situation himself. After all, before all of it, he never touched her more than necessary anyway. Would he really just suddenly have interest in that out of nowhere?

No… he wouldn’t. She brought her knees to her chest, hugging them as she buried her head between them. She stayed in that position, unmoving for a few long minutes, letting her mind wander far more that she should have allowed it to. Somehow, she always managed to be too naive, too stupid to understand the situation around her, always ruining it before she notices the mistakes she’s making, left to mull over how a small decision could have changed how things played out.

The end of the presentation is near, and it’s unneeded heat will soon perish. The last days were the easiest, Miza told her when she came by apparently volunteering to bring her food to eat. Miza never lied to her, no matter how hard the truth was, but Hinami already feels like these days are going to be the hardest for her.

Honestly, her inner turmoil will not disappear when all of this is gone. Even if the sadness will eventually make her numb, make her forget, it would be hard to move on from something she didn’t even manage to begin. It was almost pathetic how she was sulking over all of it. Would he even like someone like her as a partner? Since the day she stepped foot in Aogiri, he done nothing but baby her, so her life would be easier. What can she say she did for him already?

In the end of the day, he doesn’t have any reason to want me at all.

-

It’s been three days since the incident, and Hinami is finally back to normal. Relief washes over her as she feels the pain and heat fade from underneath her flesh, but as hours pass she realizes that soon others will notice that the stench that lingered in the cafe for the last week is disappearing.

Up until now it was okay that she locked herself up in her room. Anybody would understand wanting to be alone at that situation, but how would she begin to explain that she doesn’t want to face him yet? Touka and Yomo will understand, for sure, but there is little excuse she could use for the rest.

She doesn’t want to leave her room. She want to curl up in her bed, go to sleep and not wake up. The door almost seems hazardous in her thoughts, as if a monster is waiting from the outside to catch her as its prey. Then again, she had made plenty of people worry in the last few days. Even poor Banjou that had come around the cafe specifically to ask if she’s fine, yet she couldn’t even get out of the room in order to give him a normal conversation.

She forces herself out of bed, her aching muscles feeling weak after lazing in bed for so long. She walked to her closet. Her pajamas stunk still and now that she noticed it was her first priority to change out of them. Spotting a modest, comfortable beige dress, she took it quickly off the hanger and changed.

For a few minutes, she stared at the mirror, her reflection staring at her back as she adjusted the dress and stretched it out, trying to make all the wrinkles disappear. At least for today, she doesn’t want to look like a mess. She was enough of a mess the last few days, and if Aogiri taught her anything, is that you must stand tall when you are facing a crisis.

The current crisis was walking out of the door, but it was nonetheless, a crisis.

Grabbing onto the handle was the easy part. Twisting it and actually opening the door was a bit harder, but she managed even with the anxiety rush she felt running through her body. She only let her head out of the room, peeking at the hallway. Nobody was there at the moment.

Hesitantly, she took a few steps out of the room. She breathed in - all she had to do was to go downstairs and maybe talk a bit to Touka and Kaneki, maybe Nishiki or someone else too, and then just run back to the safety of her room. It was a simple mission, really.

The shop was closed today since it was a holiday, so it was a quiet day at :re. She could still hear people downstairs talking, Touka and Kaneki, to be exact. Idle talk, where he’s thanking her for the coffee, and she reminds him he doesn’t need to do so every day. As expected of mates, Hinami thinks. Both of them must be really happy, to have somebody close to them like that.

She doesn’t let her thoughts wander. If she were to think of what could be, it’ll only hurt more if it won’t happen. While she loved romantic tales, those she always read were her escape from real life. Reality was always more bitter, always more antagonistic to her.

Reaching the first floor, Hinami immediately sees Touka and Kaneki. Both of them turn around to her as they hear her shy steps, apparent smiles on their faces. “Hinami-chan! I’m glad to see you are okay. Sorry that I couldn’t help much.” He welcomes her and she shakes her head. He always takes the blame unnecessarily, and this time is no exception.

“It’s okay nii-chan, it wasn’t a situation you could solve anyway...” She says awkwardly. She didn’t want to think about the last few days anymore - erasing them from her mind seem more appealing. Talking about this with Kaneki and especially Touka is a few good steps out of her comfort zone.

Silence fills the room, both parties unsure of how to continue from here. Kaneki puts on a goofy smile as he scratched his head. Touka stared at her sympathetically and sighed. Coming closer to Hinami, she ruffled her hair. “Would you like some coffee, now? It’ll do you well.”

Hinami nods her head gratefully. Touka’s coffee is the best, and while it won’t get rid of her worries, it can always at least relax her slightly. Touka went into the kitchen, and Hinami could see the water slowly boiling and she prepared the coffee beans. It was a familiar, calming scene, and Hinami had just realized how much she missed it through the week.

Left alone, she and Kaneki started talking on their default subject - books. Kaneki always liked talking about his favorite books, whether if it’s about the message they try to convey, or theories that could happen in the series, or just simply speak of certain characters. These conversations made her feel light hearted, maybe even a little nostalgic - she almost felt like a little girl, with no worries on her shoulders except what will happen next in the fairytale she was reading.

Almost.

There was a bell sound as the door opened. Hinami could hear the boiling kettle shrieking as footsteps became clear to her ears. She wants to escape the room, at that moment. She’s looking the other way but he knows that he already had seen her from the way the steps abruptly stopped.

“Ayato-kun? I told everyone to come later… Well, come sit for now. Touka is already making coffee for Hinami-chan. You can join in.” Kaneki tells him and Hinami bites her lips. This is exactly what she didn’t want. She should’ve gone upstairs the minute she told them everything was fine.

She turns her head to him and sees his equally terrified eyes. He looks uncomfortable as he forces himself to sit down, two sits away from her, the gap apparent and Hinami’s mood simply going down the drain at the same time. He stares at his sister making coffee then, a gaze that almost pleads for help. I knew it...

Hinami wants to cry. She tries to hide her eyes with her bangs, but she doesn’t really know if it’s working. Both he and Kaneki were silent. She glances at Touka, between the strands of hair she refused to push away from her face. She’s looking back, worried at the situation while Kaneki is oblivious to it all.

“You seem tired.” Kaneki comments at Ayato. Tired is not the word Hinami would describe him as. Uncomfortable, drained, regretful - all of these would be better choices, if you ask her. All of the things she didn’t want to be the cause of but still is.

“...Yeah.” He answers, still avoiding the corner she’s sitting at with his eyes. His hands were clammy, and much like how her fingers were fidgeting uncontrollably, he constantly closed and opened his palms, again and again. Is this how it’s always going to be, from now on?

Kaneki frowned at the scene as he shifted his eyes between the two of them. He took a deep breathe before deciding to actually speak again. “Is there something wrong betwe-”

“On a second thought, I’m still not feeling well… I’m sorry. I’ll see you later...” Hinami cut him off with her sentence, and she felt bad about it, but she can’t handle it anymore. She rose from her chair and rushed away, running to the safety of her room. She feels eyes staring at her back as she leaves and her anxiety worsens. Even if she tried not to be a mess today, she still is, and that fact remains undeniable.

She felt sorry for not giving Kaneki an explanation, she felt sorry for not drinking the coffee Touka made for her, she felt sorry for putting Ayato in this situation and ruining the friendship. But most of all, she felt sorry for herself, that she’s created such a mess - and is too much of a coward to confront it.

-

There’s a knock on her door, later that evening. She doesn’t want to get out of her bed to answer the door. In fact, she doesn’t want to see anybody. Taking her pillow and covering her ears with it, she tries to ignore the knocks that only become more and more insistent, as well as stronger.

“Hinami, it’s me.” Ayato’s voice reached to her from behind the door. Her eyes widen, but she still doesn’t move. In any other scenario, Ayato would definitely one of her top choices to go to and talk. He always tries to understand her when she needs a shoulder to cry on. She wants to talk to him, to tell him everything on her mind, but the doubts of actually admitting her feelings to him are feeding and fueling her fears.

They’d have to talk about it, at a certain point. She realizes that. But it’s a freshly opened wound, and trying to sew it up right at the source of pain could hurt her plenty before any healing could start.

“Hinami, I’m coming in.” She hears a click, as well as the creak of the opening door. Her muscles tense as she looks back at him. He’s standing there in his regular black tshirt and loose pants, a somber expression on his face and his hands folded. She puts the pillow she held aside in defeat. There is no avoiding this. Straightening, she sat up on the bed, her back pressed to the wooden headboard.

“It’s better that we talk this out.. It really shouldn’t have happened.” He starts and Hinami already feels the bile in her throat forming. Exactly, it shouldn’t have happened. She never even expected it to happen. But it did, and she was happy, and now she isn’t. A part of her wants to take the pillow she set aside and throw it at him, complain how unfair it is.

But another part is reminding her of how she dragged him into this too. It’s unfair to both of them.

“I’m sorry that it happened. I should’ve controlled myself better.” He isn’t really looking at her anymore. As if he’s just embarrassed about it all, wants it all done and over with. Hinami clutches the sheets of the bed, just trying to focus on something else rather than sting she feels as he speaks.

“We were lucky both Aneki and Yomo-san were there…” He says, yet the sentence trails off, remains unfinished. Hinami is bitter about it all. All her life, she’s been ‘lucky’. People would tell her, she’s like a good luck charm, yet somehow she never felt lucky. No matter how many clovers she will have on her head and clothes, she doesn’t feel lucky - she is simply not.

“I don’t feel lucky at all.” The sentence leaves her mouth and she wants to regret it, she can’t find it in herself to do so. It was only the truth. “Do you feel lucky?” She asks, finally staring directly at him. She refused to let tears fall from her eyes, no matter how obvious they were.

Ayato was certainly caught off guard. His eyebrows rising high and his mouth gaping, it was almost comical to look at. Maybe she would've laughed, if her feelings weren’t all jumbled up inside of her. “...What do you mean?” He asked her back, and frowned. She knows he is smart enough to figure where she was going with that.

Rising from the bed, she stood up to him, no matter if her small frame refused to make her look intimidating or angry. “Were you glad, when they broke us apart then?” Her hands were in fists, clenched tightly as she clarified. Her heart pace speeded up, and she felt it thumping against her chest. She had to know.

It’s nerve-wracking, the time that takes him to answer. His lips were pressed in a wavering line, and his mouth was kept in an indecisive cycle of opening and closing. They were inches apart and she could see every shift of eyes or move of muscle in his face. When he suddenly closed his eyes, she knew he reached his answer.

“No. I wasn’t.”

It’s all she really needed to hear. Her hands shake a little, but they reach his warm face. She tip toes in front of him, and leans slightly in. She’s a bit scared to go all the way - she doesn’t want him to leave, but as hopes that as she closes her eyes, he will understand the message she’s trying so hard to convey.

He did. His lips pressed against hers so lightly, at the start. There was something about the feather-light touch that was so entrancing, that her mind urged her to take more and more of it - as if she was touch starved. Bottled up feelings came over her in waves, and as she hooked her arms behind his neck, she knew how much she needed him.

Ayato kisses more forcibly, as time passes, gathering his courage before letting their lips melt against each other. His hands are holding her, almost clutching her waist as he pushes her back towards the bed behind them. Her fingers dig at the nape of his neck, as she feels the bed’s edge behind her calves.

She releases a little squeak as she falls back, and Ayato, above her, still having one of his arms wrapped around her takes his free hand and strokes her cheek while parting the kiss for a second. Both of them take a deep breath, their chest rising and faltering each time. “After that time… I felt like we should’ve continued. That I’d be happy if we had. I was scared you didn’t feel the same.” She felt like she had to confess, before anything. She wanted him to know it was important to her, that she did want him then, and that she did want him now. He settled near her on the bed, and she nuzzled into his chest.

“I felt the same thing.” He replied, and Hinami felt butterflies in her stomach. He plays with her hair, and she leaned to the touch. Her fingers were fumbling with the neckline of his shirt. That day, it was almost off, when they were stopped. She wanted it off then, and she wants it off now. “...Would you like to continue, from where we stopped?” He questioned hesitantly and she licked her lips.

“Yes.” She answered. Ayato rose back to sitting position, grabbing his shirt from the behind and pulled it off. Her hands, as grabby as they were then, rose to touch him, from top to bottom. Every muscle he had was defined - it was like art. Hinami was in her own world as she let her hands wander and roam his body, and was only woken from her daydreams as Ayato reached for her and pulled her onto his lap.

He kissed her roughly as his hand reached for the zipper of her dress. She had chills down her spine as she felt her dress slowly loosening on her form, and she moaned as helped her slide it completely off with hand. His tongue entered mouth, deepening their kiss as she kicked away her dress from her knees.

He laid on top of her and grinded, eliciting more frequent, needy moans from her. Her hands trailed from the muscles of his back to the hem of his pants, taking them off as much as she can from under his weight. Out of nowhere Ayato stops her hand in place. “Eager? Wait a little, it’ll do you good.”

Flipping her so she’s on her knees, Ayato presses his chest to her back, kissing the nape of her neck. She shivers and arches as he goes lower and lower in his next kisses, one by one going further down with his mouth. Reaching her bra, he huffs. “This will be annoying to keep on.” Hinami blushes and then freezes for a moment as she realized he was undoing it with his mouth. The straps slid down her arms, and the cups themselves fell on the mattress.

She was still shaking under him, as he kept traveling downwards. She tossed away the fallen bra as he reached the last garment left on her body. His warm hands, that up until now roamed her body from top to bottom settled on the fabric of her panties and pulled it off. She let out a sigh - she thought he’d take it off with his teeth too. It was almost a shame he didn’t-

Without prior warning, he started licking her at her core. His tongue was warm and wet and she had to hold herself from screaming as he made sure to touch every single fold with it. “Ah… Ayato-kun… P-please...” She pressed herself to him, needing more - her stomach was in knots and he was the only one with the ability to untangle them.

It was so hard for her to keep quiet as he let his tongue explore her - for all she could tell it seemed like he actually enjoyed the taste, from how he earnestly sucked on her. Her hands were clutching the pillow in front of her, and he toes curled each time she felt him kissing her lower region.

“Please what?” He lifted his head from her pussy, and crawled on top of her again. She looked back at him, and he had this unwavering smirk on his face, she almost can’t believe it’s the same boy that a few minutes ago was still unsure if she wanted this or not. He kissed her ear, nibbling on it, while his hands went to her breasts, squeezing them.

She trembled underneath him, even more so when he decided to grind against her core - she’s very much naked while he still with his pants and underwear. Her knees were already feeling so weak and her mind was in cloud nine. She needed to come, so, so badly. “Ayato-kun… I need you…”

“Good, but not good enough. What do you need me for?” He asked her again, still playing and palming her breasts. Hinami’s embarrassed, yet at the same time turned on by his dirty talk. She just wanted more…

She thought about it twice, what to answer. Here she was having the boy of her dreams in a silver platter, giving her everything she needs as he always does. He’s kissing her in ways she could have only dreamt of while she was high on that heat this week, attending to every spot that in need of touch.

Different things popped in her mind. She already knew what he expected her to say, but even as she moaned and felt so good, she still wanted to return the favor before this fantasy that decided to come alive will end. She took one of his hands, still wrapped around her body, in hers and slid it off, giving her room to turn to him.

He paused, looking a little confused, with slight worry in his eyes. He’s so cute… Hinami held his upper arm, smiling at him. “Ayato-kun… I need you to sit down for me. The same way I sat when we talked...” She had no doubt she was blushing, but she tried to not look too embarrassed. She wanted to do it for him.

He raised an eyebrow, but did as she had asked anyway. He sat down, the bed’s pillows behind his back. She inched closer to him, settling between his legs. She gave him a butterfly kiss on his lips, before she decided to mimic what he done to her. Leaving kisses all over his body, as if marking a path downwards.

From his jawline, down to his adam’s apple up until the navel the had waited for her,  she lingered on every spot on his torso, sometimes kissing him ever so gently and something sucking onto his flesh until red marks appeared on it and his grunts were heard. She had a fascination with stomach, and she was convinced she could find herself exploring his lean muscles for much, much longer, but she already felt his erection pressing. She’ll leave it for another day.

Hinami tugged on the waistbands of both his pants and underwear, looking up at him. “Help me?” She asked, a twinkle in her eyes and a small grin on her face. Ayato didn’t waste his time - he grabbed both pieces of clothing and pulled them down as much as possible.

Hinami blushed as finally everything was bare to her, from the v-line that started from his his hips, to his hard on that stood proudly. His size seemed almost intimidating, she wasn’t even sure how he’ll fit inside her, but she could only imagine how good it’ll feel later on.

She hesitantly held his erection between her thin fingers. Ayato released a gasp as her hand started moving up and down. Hinami liked those small moans she managed to bring out of him. She wanted more of it all. Hinami bent her head down.

His breathing was erratic already at this point, but she wanted him to moan louder. She needed him. And she had an idea of how to do it. Hinami carefully took her tongue, giving him a long lick across his cock, followed by smaller licks all over it. His hands were clasping and unclasping, trying to control himself. She didn’t like that. Hinami then opening her mouth, taking his tip in her mouth, and going down on him as much as she can, enveloping him.

“Haah… Hinami..!” He moaned out, and she was only more motivated to take more of him in, even if she couldn’t really. Her hand covered for where she didn’t reach though, so she figured its fine. His hand reached her hair, grabbing on it, lightly pushing it down - she could tell he was holding back from that hold. She could taste salty precum and she went down on him faster, her head bobbing up and down.

“Hinami!” He nearly shouted as he grabbed her shoulders, forcing her to stop. She rose up to look at him, drops of precum still sliding down her chin. He brought her close to him, onto his thigh. He stared at her with hunger in his eyes. “I need you.” His voice is raspy and she wants to melt.

I need you too.

She nods and changes position. She’s on top of him now, he’s holding her behind and making sure her entrance is aligned with his erection. She’s nervous, and she’s hiding her face at the crook of his neck, but he makes sure to help her relax by rubbing her back. He kisses her ear. “Are you ready?” He whispers into it, and she takes a deep breath.

“Yeah.”

Hinami lowers herself onto him. Her eyes are tightly shut, as she feels the tip of his length at the opening of her slit, her eyes widening as Ayato slowly pushes in. It’s weird, feeling that filled up, and it hurts a bit as she slides down on him, but it’s not as bad as she expected. She holds onto him tightly as the pain slowly numbs down, and he patiently lets her get used to the feeling, even as she him groaning a little.

Hinami let’s go of the breath she didn’t she was holding in after a few seconds, finally getting used to the feeling. “You can move…” she tells him quietly, and Ayato, enthusiastic, starts rocking against her. Her nails are digging at his back, and she already releasing strings of incoherent moans, right into Ayato’s ear.

Ayato was no better than her at the moment, quietly moaning her name  and talking about how wet or warm she was as he thrusted into her, holding onto on her thighs, holding it aside to give himself more access into her, as she rocked herself on top of him in synced rhythm.

“Ah.. Ayato....” She finds out she can’t hold her moans to herself, and at the same time, Ayato’s hold on her tightens even more as he flips her so she’s underneath him. Hinami squirms below him as he thrusts into her hard and fast. She holds herself from yelling out at the change of pace, and his lips almost immediately find hers and captures them into a kiss.

Nothing around them matters, as he holds her down into the mattress and her legs are wrapped around him. They’re sweaty and hot yet all she could think about is how much she likes the way he’s holding her, kissing her, and fucking her. How much she just likes him.

She matches herself to his rhythm, meeting him in the middle of each thrust. Hinami could feel him twitching, and she felt how close she was as well. These last moments should be well spent.

Ayato slowed down, his quick, erratic thrusts replaced by long, slow ones. The spot he reached with those made Hinami see stars. “Ayato!!” She cried out, suddenly feeling the knots in her stomach undoing themselves, and her walls squeezed him as she came.

Soon after, she felt warm seed shooting inside her as Ayato collapsed on top of her, hugging her small frame, sighing in pure content as he settled his head next to her.

Spent and tired, they both stayed in that position for long minutes, attempting to even out their breaths. Ayato managed rather quickly, but Hinami who was trapped under his body had a harder time.

“Ayato-kun… You’re heavy…” She drags her words out, her lips in a pout. Ayato snorts, and rolls off of her, to the emptier side of the bed. Hinami breathes in and returns to her dreamy, satisfied state. She’s tired, dirty and sticky, but she feels so good.

Ayato hooks one hand around her, pulling her closer to spoon her, his hand on her stomach and his head on top of hers. He only makes it better.

“...I feel lucky now.” He tells her, her heart that just calmed down a while ago, skips a beat. “Uh, to have you with me now, I mean… I really like you, Hina.” She feels his fingers dig slightly into her skin, him clutching her. She feels a warm sensation spreading inside.

She turns around in his embrace. Her hands rise to return the hug, wrapping around him. If she were to look at the entire night, at the last few days even - Hinami could see she thought primarily about him. Even when she was out of her heat, even though this entire evening, she just simply wanted him. For him. Did she even had one thought to doubt how she feels? She doesn’t think so.

And after all - they do say the nose don’t lie when it comes to matches. She has no reason to doubt it. Hinami smiles at him confidently.

Another exhausting day…

Urie was walking through streets of Tokyo, the breeze passing by him. He could feel a few drops of rain falling on top of his head. Breathing in the cold air, he sighed. He quickened his pace towards the chateau.

The city lately had became more and more cold, and he was in a grumpy mood anyway. He felt…. empty. It was just all so wrong. Although he couldn’t admit it to anyone else. Not that he had too. The rest were not stupid enough to be ignorant to it.

Fuck. The rain was getting stronger, plentiful and consistent. The droplets soaked his hair and coat, and he huffed grumpily. Never listen to the forecast. They are never fucking right.

Gritting his teeth from both annoyance and the fact it was freezing, Urie tried to let his mind wander to something better. At least there’s food home, hopefully hot, and that at least would make him feel a bit better.

Who is cooking today…? Hsiao, probably. At least there’s something to look forward to.

He found shelter from the rain under a bunch of street stalls, thin polyester protecting the stalls and the products underneath them. He watched the people around him scurrying away with their umbrellas in hand and he stomped across the street, almost shamefully soaked.

He saw the chateau from the corner of his eyes. He sighed heavily, relief washing over him. Urie took a deep breath and jogged until the entrance, trying to get home without becoming more of a wet dog than he already is.

Reaching the door, he twisted the knob hastily, the metal slippery under his wet glove. The heating in the house made his tense muscles relax slightly and he huffed. He took off his heavy coat and gloves, then moved to remove his shoes and socks, both which were flooded from before. Tossing them aside, he wore his home slippers and went to the living room, looking to see if there’s anyone else in the house.

There was an awful stench coming from the kitchen, and Urie couldn’t help but put a hand over his nose. He coughed a little. Did something crawl up their pipes and die? Something was against him today.

He looked to his side, where their dining table stood proudly. It was elegant, nicely decorated table. And on that elegant and nicely decorated, laid a bowl of rice, with a pack of premade curry to go with it.

Who’s turn was it to cook?

Not Hsiao. That’s for sure.

His stomach growled, he was dripping wet and he just wanted to eat something hot before he showered. I’ll just take something from the kitchen. Ugh.

Dejected, he dragged his feet towards the kitchen with the resolve of at least eating something proper, just to make his stomach settle down. The bad smell he noticed earlier got stronger suddenly - Urie scanned the area with his eyes.

…Yonebayashi?

Usually, if Yonebayashi was not invested in something else in her room, she’d be the type to welcome you home. He assumed she was out with the others from the silence. But she was just standing over something near the stove, looking almost as dejected as him.

He heard her sighing, her face falling on the marble counter. what she was standing over was revealed to be a very much unappealing dish. She probably felt he’s been staring at her back for so long, since she turned to look at him, caught a bit of guard, her eyebrows raised up.

“Uri! Welcome home… haha..” She scratched her head, her small fingers getting stuck in her unruly short hair. She was hiding the dish behind her, ignorant to the fact he could have seen it from his height, her tiny frame covering nothing.

He played along, anyway. He moved his head left and right, and follows in tow with a frown on her face, still trying to prevent him from seeing. He catches her head with his hand, and looks over her.

As suspected, the dead crawling animal is this. The smell was positively awful, just like the presentation, but he knew better than to comment about it when she tried to hide it so badly.

“…So it was your turn to cook today?” He asked, his hand still on her head. She slumped, sighing with her entire body.

“It was…. Saiko set up premade curry though. That should be okay, right?” She licked her pouted lips, her brows furrowing a bit sadly. Urie felt a little bad, seeing her like that.

He thinks back at the times it was only the five of them, here. He used to do all the cooking, before he left. She never had to do it before, she never tried. But now she’s trying.

I’m not the only one who dislikes this situation.

“All of the rest will return soon! Uri should go take a shower so he can eat with them when they come back!” She suddenly exclaimed. He was still ickily wet from the rain outside but he already dried up a little… and while he only wanted a snack… He feels like maybe, he should try to cheer her up.

“Is it hot still?” he asks dryly.

“…Yes?” Saiko gave him a confused look.

Ah. He gulped, preparing himself for what he’s about to do. After lifting the plate that laid behind her above her head, he went took and fork and knife from the kitchen drawers. “Then it’s good enough. It’s too cold today.”

He went to the dining table, sitting down, his back straight and all his senses working too well for this impossible mission. The dish was comprised of a very burnt, not sliced fish and some kind of curry that could be compared to someone’s puke.

Saiko was watching already, her eyes sparkling a bit. As if she saw some cool character from her manga. I already committed. He sliced up the fish, smeared it with the curry, and shoved everything he could into his mouth.

It’s… Horrible. But less horrible than expected.

He chewed everything only slightly, then swallowed everything in his mouth, and repeated that process a few time, until the entire plate was clear. It’s… Bearable..

His stomach ached, it disagreed with the food just as much as his tongue did, but as he let his upper body fall on the back of his chair, he saw Saiko smile. At least that was good.

He tried to lift himself from sitting position, to drag himself to the shower before he dies on the chair, but Saiko suddenly ran up to him, giving him a big hug, holding him tightly - her tiny frame like a small heater. Comfortable and comforting.

She looked up at him.

“Thanks, Uri.” Her white teeth showing in a big smile.

He got flustered, trying to shove her away, unsuccessfully at that. She may have been tiny but she knows how to give bear hugs.

“Yonebayashi, I need to go shower.” He reminded her, his voice just the slightest bit annoyed, though he still tried to avoid eye contact with her. His face is probably red - he really doesn’t need more embarrassment right now.

“Sorry!” She laughed and skipped backwards, still with that goofy smile on her face. “Are you still going to come eat with all of us later?” she asked to make sure, her cheery tone makes it clear she thinks he will.

I should be saying no. I feel like I’m going to hurl….

“Well…”

She was pouting at him, puppy eyes wide and clear.

Fuck.

“Yes.”