Toku Fanfic Repository

So, based on the full title of Cherry Magic, I know it's based on that trope where if you're a virgin for 30 years, you become a wizard. And from my own recollection, I know one of them gets the ability to read minds, but is still so horrendously oblivious he can't understand the main interest is gay for him, and keeps thinking the love interest is straight. Unfortunately, one of KisaIta's best strengths is their communication, so this is a difficult AU to do for them fadsjdsll. I'll do my best interpretation of Suitable Arrangement by Ant_Bee to achieve this, since they've written one of the best cases of KisaIta miscommunication I've ever seen. Between the two of them, I think Itachi has the mind reading power, since he's more likely to overthink and not be used to interpreting people's more intimate/personal thoughts and could potentially be dense about it (is more likely to write those off or make excuses for certain thoughts to himself.) Meanwhile, it's very easy to interpret Kisame either way, as either having sexual experience, or being somewhere on the asexual spectrum and while he's not shy about sexuality or intimacy, he just hasn't had anyone catch his interest until Itachi. So I want to make Kisame Itachi-sexual and a 45-year old virgin with the ability to control water on a small scale and talk to sharks. Also, since I'm unlikely to make this an actual fic or anything anytime soon, I'll leave it to audience choice if Kisame is canon shark man Kisame, or Black/half-Black half-Japanese Kisame.

I think the premise will be just a little ridiculous, but the rest will be pretty grounded of like "I can maybe see this happening in real life, or at least suspend my disbelief and pretend this is a scenario that could happen IRL." I think Itachi's main job is being a corporate mercenary, where companies can hire him to work for rival companies and ruin their sales from the inside for a specified amount of time, or do other kinds of sabotage. I think he's been doing this since he was 22, and is just great at doing cold reads of people, and eventually he developed the perfect power to accompany this skill at 30. I think the Uchiha family tends to have kids when they're older to maximize the amount of time they have access to their powers, and they all tend to develop these genjutsu, mind manipulation-y powers like creating illusions, reading minds, copying skills and techniques, type of things. So a lot of them go into more high profile fields like lawyers, CEO, intelligence gathering, etc. So Itachi just being a salary man basically makes him kind of a black sheep in the family, but he's good at it, it makes a lot of money, and keeps Sasuke out of the typical Uchiha jobs as well so he can pursue a more artsy path in life, so why should he change. His most recent job is to ruin Seven Swords Seafood and Cookware. I think it's just funny if the Seven Swords in this AU sell knives and manage fisheries.

I'm going to base some of this on my favorite salarymen BL, Akuheki by iimo, because that's my strongest understanding of salarymen BL since it actually has the business stuff be a main plot point. But, basically, Kisame is Itachi's senpai in the company and shows him around, and Itachi discovers he's basically a 45 year old virgin who uses his water manipulation powers to pull neat tricks at the water cooler and make heating up instant ramen more fun by making shapes with the steam while he waits. Itachi is immediately like, "I need him carnally, but that would destroy my entire life's work." So to continue denying his feelings and the way that Kisame is flirting with him and is surprised by how much he likes Itachi, Itachi finds a woman co-worker from an affluent family who's interested in Kisame as well, but her family is particularly picky that she marries a man of status. So Itachi gets sidetracked on the side quest to turn Kisame into her family's ideal man by getting him promoted to section chief and all these other nitpicky requirements. Meanwhile Kisame's just... "wow, Itachi-san is really good at his job and likes me a lot, I'm excited to ask him out on a date to my favorite restaurant."

Most of the external tension and conflict is going to come from Itachi wanting to quit his job because he genuinely wants to be with Kisame. Eventually Sasuke encourages him to go for it, because when's the next Kisame going to come into his life? So Itachi eventually fakes his death and hides out in this remote village where his company will never find him, and sets up a nice house near the beach and a fishing boat for them to live at, and Kisame eventually finds him there.

I do think that Itachi has a friend at his company who vouches for him dying, and even if the company finds out that Itachi's still alive, the friend will confirm that he's no longer a virgin, and therefore no longer useful, or a threat to them, so leave him alone. I think Itachi finally getting rid of his power and embracing Kisame fully would be such a nice symbolic thing, and it's a pretense he hides behind, but they both know that it's truly Itachi choosing Kisame and wanting to do this with him.

Also, here's your bonus Isekai Office Worker headcanons:

Isekai Office Worker is about Kondou Seiichirou who stumbles on a young woman getting sucked into a portal. When he fails to pull her from the portal, they both get sucked into it and sent to a fantasy world, where Yua is a saint who will save the fantasy world from a curse called the "Miasma" while Seiichirou asks for work, and gets assigned to work for the accounting department, where he starts trying to make their lackadaisical staff into a functional accounting department that actually manages the books properly to make sure there's an emergency reserve fund for when the Miasma starts wrecking havoc on the world, but also because he can't live without working.

This world and premise is so fitting for a KisaIta AU to me, since Itachi being Seiichirou and Kisame being the super hot captain of the Knights Third Order who is a prodigy at magic and the blade is perfect. Honestly it could also go both ways where Kisame's a normal office worker who's found his only purpose in working could be similar to Kisame's dedication to Obito's promises of a new world, and ends up getting distracted by Itachi who he just jumps at every command Prodigy Knight Captain Itachi gives. But I think with Seiichirou giving Aresh some sass back whenever Aresh tries to care for Seiichirou is a more Itachi thing to do. Also, Itachi having Anime Wasting Disease from using the Mangekyou Sharingan in Naruto canon is a great parallel to Seiichirou's mana/magic sickness. On that note, I do prefer ItaKisa, where Itachi is the top, and there is a moment where the Isekai Office Worker protags speedrun getting into the relationship where Seiichirou nearly dies and Aresh has to save him using magical healing cock; I think it would be so peak for Itachi to be the top in that situation, especially with how that scene plays out in Isekai Office Worker. It's good both ways honestly, but just, small Itachi bridal carrying giant Kisame and being so gentle with Kisame is *chefs kiss*

I think from my own personal preference, I wouldn't have it be a Ghostbusters AU where it follows the exact beats and premise of the movie, and I'd also likely stage it in Japan. Ghost type media I generally like are Mob Psycho 100, the early arcs of DanDaDan, The Haunting of Bly Manor, Junji Itou's works, and Mieruko-chan, so I'm would draw more from those to create the overall vibe. I hope that's okay! I feel like as long as they're the ghost equivalent of sanitation workers with the iconic uniforms and equipment, it should still work? Also, since I'm determined to not waste multiple spaces on "this character would be this or that," I'm going to list all of my headcanons in this bullet point as well.

The Ghostbusters: Nico, Asuna (haunted by Poppy), Emu (possessed by Parad), and Hiiro. Kiriya is their receptionist who sometimes goes out into the field, but prefers to hang around and spin around in his desk chair and drink his fancy, sugary coffee orders (he only wants to go out into the field when too many people start calling in and being at the desk is a pain.)

The Ghosts: All the bugsters (the usual suspects, of course, lol), Masamune, Saki (I love the idea of the body still being piloted around by a collection of small spirits like in Katashiro no Itansha, the hivemind is not Graphite tho, I have created three Graphite/Saki entities in this AU, ruh roh), Taiga (bakeneko that takes human form.)

The Regular Humans ™️: Kuroto, Jungo, Nisshi, Haima, Riko, Mizuki and Satsuki IDK If I missed anyone else who is crucial but the usual humans are going to be humans in this one.

The Momose Breakdown: So, just to go more in depth of the three Graphite/Saki entities, here they are. Original Goods Saki. Saki who got murdered by Masamune as a ritual sacrifice, but because that ritual messed up, part of Saki's soul didn't fully metamorphose into a "bugster" (yokai) as it should've, so there's this remnant running around. Saki's now soulless meat suit that got possessed by a hivemind of small spirits that I will be referring to as "Momose." The hivemind got so entangled with Original Goods Saki's memories the longer and longer they possessed the body, they genuinely started believing they were her, causing a lot of misunderstandings as they added to the way Saki haunts the narrative. Graphite, a yokai that was created from Saki's sacrifice by twisting and transforming her soul into a yokai that looks like a dragon. As a twist on Graphite being one of the only complete Bugsters, he's now one of the only incomplete yokai.

I'm not entirely sure what the diverging event will be, but I think there's going to be at least two different endings to this AU: one where Kiriya becomes a full-time Ghostbugster, and Haima becomes the permanent receptionist; and the second where Kiriya stays as the full-time receptionist and Haima helps him with the workload and keeping the office organized.

I imagine the Ghostbugsters got started in this AU sort of like the Spirits and Such consultation business in Mob Psycho 100, where people come to them for pretty mundane problems, but are convinced there's some sort of supernatural problem. Nico and Emu started it up because their repair business was failing, and it turns out there's lots of gullible people who think their faulty pipes groaning are ghosts, but they also give the repairs a supernatural twist to help convince the customers they're doing the exorcism they promised. Eventually, they end up getting Asuna as a customer, who's actually possessed/haunted by a ghost and totally out of their area of expertise. They try their best to figure something out, cobble together a prototype of the Power-Packs with their repair equipment, but it doesn't fully work. Eventually, Asuna's exposure to Poppy develops into psychic powers, so the Ghostbugster team ends up doing some actual ghost consultations and exorcisms, and they have to hire Kiriya as business picks up and they need a receptionist to handle all the calls. Eventually they're approached by Hiiro and Haima who give them the budget to create the final version of the Power-Packs and the uniforms on the condition that Hiiro gets to join the team.

They generally try to help the ghosts pass on peacefully, but there are some who are malicious that they can't reason with and are causing harm, so they suck them up into the Power-Packs, and eventually plug the ghost storage into their business' power grid to save on electricity. They discover that the ghosts' energy can get leeched out into electricity, and they eventually disappear, like fully erased from the reincarnation cycle, can't go to heaven or hell kind of disappear, and the team can have an ethical debate on that. Maybe it's a plot point that they get rid of that aspect of the ghost storage system.

I'm trying to think hard about how the ghosts in this AU would look, and how the ghosts from Ghostbusters looked, and all I'm coming up with is Slimer, lmao. I think I want to pull from Bly Manor and No, I'm Not a Human, where the ghosts forms kind of reflect their moment of death. In Bly Manor, one of the ghosts seem to have these huge glowing eyes, but you can pretty quickly put it together that it's light reflecting off their glasses. And eventually it's revealed that the blinding light is from the headlights of a car that ran that ghost over, and the glasses are still being held onto by the living relatives. Of course, there's exceptions to the rule, like the 10 main bugsters looking more like yokai, and Gamedeus. I really really want to give Poppy a monster form since I feel like she was done dirty by not having one. I also like the idea of the length of time a ghost exists effects and evolves their form. This isn't really a new concept, (think of kitsune and nekomata, where they grow more tails the longer they exist and get more powerful) but I really like the way that Mieruko-chan plays with this idea in it's most recent volume (I'm keeping it vague to not spoil it.)

I know it can't be like an endless cleaning video game (I guess it can, but I'm imagining writing this and I would want to stop eventually, lol) so there's gotta be some kind of conflict or plot. So that's where the ritual sacrifices I mentioned forever ago come in. In the background, slowly becoming a foreground conflict, Kuroto will be sacrificing people and using the rituals Masamune did to continue his father's work, but also show up his dad that he can complete the ritual he couldn't. Kuroto will be sacrificing people, transforming their souls into 10 specific yokai (the 10 main bugsters) to open portals around Tokyo that will connect into a big one that eventually summons Gamedeus. One of the final arcs leading to the climax will be Kuroto and the 9 main bugsters hunting for the Saki fragment running around to fuse her properly to Graphite, and Asuna and Poppy to complete their transformation, to complete the ritual, with the Ghostbugsters trying to bust Graphite or Saki first and keep the fusion from happening. Maybe Kuroto creates Lovelica and he serves as a replacement for Poppy so Asuna doesn't have to die.

I totally don't remember which words I used in what fics, so I went from my least interacted with fics to look for the words and slowly moved up the list.

Meet

After the long drive home with a certain dragon in his ear the whole time, Shirou barely had the energy to take his clothes off and put his pajamas on. But he still managed it. Force of habit from years of working at SCP was the only thing keeping him moving until he finally collapsed in his bed. He curled up under the covers, pulling them tight around him until his mind drifted off somewhere halfway between sleep and awareness. A place that Suzu was more than happy to meet him in. A sharp claw drew itself down the shell of Shirou's ear. And even though the pad of the finger it was attached to didn't touch him, Shirou could still feel the warmth radiating off Suzu's body. The nail skimmed down his jaw, then came to rest under his chin.  Shirou turned easily when Suzu applied pressure, letting them tilt his head up and his body turning fully towards them. A sharp inhale filled Shirou's lungs. No matter how many times he turned to see Suzu lying in his bed, as if they were truly there, it would never fail to take his breath away. Dozens of researchers in their department, and Shirou was lucky enough to be the one to get assigned to Suzu. - Keep You in Mind on Ao3

Cycle

The flashing of neon signs outside the window caught on Kiriya's skin, tinting it shades of green, pink, yellow, blue, then back to green, endlessly going through the cycle and forcing him to squint as he stared out with his forehead pressed to the glass. He never really noticed the view before, but it's really something... Maybe that's not entirely accurate. He noticed it before, when he first moved in and was still starry-eyed and fresh out of his residency, when everything still seemed new and exciting. - I'm Sick of Being Guarded on Ao3

Also, little shoutout to Rev Your Engines

But as a motorcycle, there was almost nothing beyond the rumbling of the engine inside of him, the pulling or squeezing of coils, and whirring of belts and cylinders as Graphite's weight shifted around and each part did its thing.

Drum

Yamato leaned on his handlebars with a dreamy sigh. The boy in the garage across the street from where he'd parked just stood up from the car he'd been working on. The mechanic ran his finger along the side of the wheeled cart he'd pulled up next to the car. As he glanced over the tools laid out, he drummed his fingers along the edge, as if he were playing the piano along the tools. Yamato wanted to cross the street and hold his hands, run his fingers along the boy's and kiss his palms. After a bit more thought, the boy picked up a pair of pliers, setting down his wrench with his other hand. Yamato bit his own finger to cut down on the urge to cross the street and actually do any of that. He didn't know that guy at all, so that was a recipe for getting punched in the face. - From a Distance

Queen

Shirou trembled. With anger, of course. Definitely not any sort of involuntary reaction to Isshiki pulling him into his lap suddenly to pet his hair. Anyone would be pissed off if a drag queen picked them up out of nowhere to start messing with them. Shirou wondered if this was some weird plot to get him into makeup or some lacy and weird clothes again. Maybe Isshiki was going to try styling his hair with a curling iron or something stupid like that. Isshiki was paying special attention to the ends, too. He'd run his fingers through the strands, then Shirou could feel the way Isshiki lightly pinched and tugged at a lock. Then his fingers would go back to the top of Shirou's head, nails pressing into his scalp gently and dragging down in a way that made him shudder and lean his head back toward Isshiki until his long, delicate fingers reached the ends again. When Isshiki started twirling a lock around his finger, murmuring "What nice hair," Shirou had enough. At this rate, Isshiki might really try to style it. - Soft Bunny Ears

Tape