Kir

some octopus had 900 hours in Pokemon Alpha Sapphire and you just fuckin stole his 3DS

ur clothes size doesnt say anything. like it doesnt say anything abt u as a person but it also especially doesnt say anything about what size your clothes are

Why do people ask "This is satire, right?" rather than just "this is a joke, right?". Not everything is satire. Satire requires having little goat feet. And my feet are notably fins.

nodding my head to show that i approve of all the shitty things this character has done because i'm a bad person

Person finds a cursed amulet that fills the wearer's mind with thoughts of treason and regicide as part of a blood curse but the wearer was already pretty staunchly anti-monarchy so they don't really notice.

You Have To Kiss Evil Woman. She Can't Spell Mwahahahaha Without Mwah. Do Your Part And Kiss Evil Woman Today.

some days i genuinely just feel like a perverted freak and then i remember i am

*turns my attention inwards* mmmmm. no *turns my attention back outwards* oh god

my body knows something that i don’t and i can’t get her to talk to me

I should lock the fuck in *half an hour passes* I should lock the fuck in *half an hour passes* I should lock the fuck in *half an hour passes* I should-

it’s never a normal temperature anymore it’s always some fucking bullshit

My favorite banned terms on this site are "suicide prevention" and "safe sex"

Fuck nasty and kill yourself inmediately after

Salmon male grindset

You are an unreliable narrator because your coping mechanisms for your deep-seated trauma forbid you from acknowledging the reality of the situation. I am an unreliable narrator because I sincerely have no idea what the fuck is going on.