Kipper gets serious

your device pronounces a word wrong. laughter. its fine, just go with it. but thats not what you meant. the meaning is changed. you type it differently, hoping to trick the program into saying it right. it doesnt.

your device bugs. you have to use a voice that does not match how you feel inside. you feel dysphoric like you did before you went on t. laughter from others. its fine because it has to be.

someone makes a bigoted remark to another person. you are typing as fast as you can - "that's not okay, you need to apologize" - your hands are shaking with the effort to be fast. the conversation moves on before you can hit "play". harm has been done and you have no control over it.

you navigate through a few folders. you want the word "sun". you keep hitting the button next to it, cloud. you hit delete. try again. you hit cloud. delete. try again. you hit cloud. over and over again. your body seems to have a mind of its own. it is frustrating. it is so so easy for everyone else.

your tablet is in the other room and you are trying to fingerspell. you want to sign "d". you see the shape your hand needs to be in in your mind. you keep signing "f". your hand will not make the correct finger go up and the rest go down.

the other person is trying to be patient. but theyre not. theyre frustrated. theyre trying not to show it. theyre frustrated. theyre frustrated. it radiates out from their body and makes your blood run cold. you're nauseous. you are always waiting for someone to lose their patience. it has happened before. it will happen again.

a comic about aac

Happy AAC Awareness Month!

Sometimes the best tool you can provide people with are resources. These are from my FWA 2024 panel, and are free to send to anyone you think may need them! This should cover the basics in easy-process terminology.

(Screen readers: image descriptions cover the graphics. Transcript is under the cut!)

my semiverbality was seen as dissociation or plain old defiance. my meltdowns were seen as intentional and me being bad and disruptive and i was punished for them or called manipulative. my stimming was seen as a behavior that needed to be targeted and shamed and mocked by staff and peers alike. my sensory issues were just things i needed to be “desensitized” to (which doesn’t work that way). i was yelled at for sensory aversions and overload. i was berated and bullied if i asked them to stop blasting music or making so much noise. all while continuing or increasing the intensity of the stimuli to get back at me. i was forced to eat until i threw up nearly every day at one place and then yelled at for throwing up and having access to comfort items taken away.

my needs were ignored. support was denied or removed. i wasn’t able to take care of myself. and rather than being treated with compassion and given actual help, i faced more and more restrictions and punishments and shaming.

no one listened to me when i said how much it hurt, that i was actually trying, that i was in pain, that i couldn’t control it, that i didn’t understand what i did wrong, that SOMETHING IS WRONG.

my autistic traits were a problem with me. they said it was my fault i couldn’t do this or kept doing that. i was doing it because i was a problem child. i was lying about not being able to control it. i was lying about how hard things were and the harm they caused.

Oh, that sounds rough. Not being able to explain yourself because you don't have the language you need .... Hmmmm...... That sounds familiar..... If only the people you're taking language from could understand Your Epic Struggle™ ....... Hmmm..... (/Sarcastic tone).

Nonverbal people and our culture and identity are being used for memes- and misrepresented by fully or partially verbal people. So... Consider: we don't owe you a bunch of language alternatives before you decide you don't "need" to be ableist towards us. We deserve better than that.

It is so incredibly violent to take language and descriptors from a group of people who categorically have a harder time accessing language than you. And on top of that, nonverbal people are supposed to coddle and hand-hold you through our pleas for you to stop being ableist towards us? Fuck off.

No, really. Fuck that ableist, downpunching bullshit. It shouldn't be our responsibility to gently guide you through language alternatives that aren't harmful. You're being ableist, so YOU go look for alternative language. It's literally on this website. Other nonverbal folks have done the labour to create masterposts of alternative words and phrases... All you have to do is use the search function.

Nonverbal people get written off as nitpicky or aggressive when we tell people not to misuse our identities for their convenience. Yet you're the ones causing harm to our community. You rely on us not being able to argue back in a way you find "acceptable", and use our struggles with language as a reason why it's ok for you to carry on ignoring us.

Nonverbal people aren't believed when we communicate we are nonverbal. This struggle to be understood is worsened when verbal or altverbal people decide to misuse the word nonverbal to mean "goes quiet when tired".

Sometimes it is necessary to restrain an autistic person, but that's something ONLY a caregiver or professional should do. It could hurt you or the autistic person if you're not trained on how to do it correctly. Physical conditions can be more common in autistic people (especially higher support needs) and some autistic people can't communicate when you're hurting them or understand when they're hurting you.

Lots of autistic people get hurt and even die from being restrained incorrectly. Usually it's by well meaning friends and family, special-ed teachers, police, social workers, even professionals and caregivers preforming against training. It happens all the time. You just won't see it out in the open.

I once had a nurse tech in residential restrain me chest against the ground, hands behind my back, pushing into me with his knee. I was born with the front of my rib cage sunken in (PE 4.0 haller index, iykyk). I couldn't breathe properly. 1) No training will tell you to do that to anyone regardless of their condition. 2) I was able to communicate, and he still did not listen to my pleas for air until I went silent and stopped struggling for as long as he wanted me to

there will be autistics who never can do [thing] no matter how forced, no matter how punished, no matter how anything.

i can’t force myself to do [thing] i can’t do. not ever.

many autistics like me.

especially hate hearing autistics say “well if i didn’t do [thing] i would get abused” as if we autistics also didn’t get abused, except we still couldn’t do [thing].

you are dismissing higher support needs autistic who are or have been abused.

Some people are housebound. Bed bound. Some people physically can’t eat, shower, or use the toilet without the assistance of a caretaker. Some people don’t have the spoons to get out of bed in the morning, let alone work a 9-5 job in this capitalist hellhole.

You’re not lazy. You’re not less than.

And this is coming from a disabled person with chronic pain who can leave the house and walk (with some pain) without mobility aids.

You deserve to take up space. You deserve to cost money. You deserve to be here without feeling guilty just because you can’t give back in the traditional way.