conversations overheard through the batkid com lines pt 73 (masterpost here)
Damian: was he not- i mean i know he wasn't fatherly, but was he not strict when you two were younger?
Dick: *loud laughing* oh, man, not even close-!
Jason: yeah, he really wasn't- i mean, he tried to be on occasion i guess; but it wasn't really parental strictness more than it was just being harsh and bitter.
Tim: so B really didn't try at all at first, huh?
Jason: he didn't- ok, honestly? my personal theory is that he didn't know he had kids until after i died.
Dick: *laughter turns to wheezes* wHAT?
Jason: no- *wheeze* shut up, hear me out, *cackles*
Tim, audibly amused: what the fuck does that even mean--like you think he forgot he adopted you both?
Jason: no, no- i just think he didn't understand the correlation between adoption and actually being in charge.
Damian: you think that in his mind it was a one time thing? like 'oh, adopting kids? yeah i did that in the past, fun night'.
Jason: y-*snort*-yeah, you get it.
Dick: SO WAIT- *deep breath* so you- so you think that for Bruce it was like he had no idea until after you died, at which point he was panicking looking around like 'FUCK A CHILD IS DEAD, SOMEBODY CALL HIS PARENT- ooooh, i get it now,'
Tim: *loud uncontrollable cackling*
Jason, also fighting through wheezes: no i- *choke* no, i mean like- i think he didn't really understand that he was supposed to be a parent in all the senses rather than just the legal. i think you were too happy with every non-parent-like decision he made, and i was too independent, so he thought we were all just chill living in each other's spaces.
Dick: *wheeze* he thought- he thought that Dad was just a title, like Mr or Mrs,
Damian: -like when you buy a two foot square of land online so you can legally be called a lord.
Dick: *cackling* tHAT'S EXACTLY WHAT IT WAS-
Jason: yeah, yeah- and then i died and Tim fuckin' showed up, and i have to imagine he was just white-knuckling it in the Batcave looking at him like 'god, i really need to lock the fuck in with this guy',
Tim and Dick: *start crying*
Damian: you think- *snort* so finding Drake was Father internally sighing and going 'ok, time to grind i guess'?
*a pause* *breathless laughter*
Bruce: i don't even want to know what's so funny this time. i'm just here to call Robin home; it's almost three, i want you to come back to the cave with me so you can get some sleep before your exam at school tomorrow.
Damian, disgruntled: *sigh* yeah yeah, on my way.
Dick, weeping, tone high-pitched: he's locking in-
Tim and Jason: *fucking lose it again*