Kimberly Borelli

Because many people asked about the Kushiel project I announced one year ago. Now, I can tell you what is it about:

First of all, no it's not a live action movie. I decided to write an authentic story about the Anguissette before Phedre.

Her name is Iriel de Fiscarde and yes, she was mentioned in the Kushiel series already.

I will keep you updated ^^

The Kushiel series is written by Jacqueline Carey. My story is just a little Fanproject with writings, pictures and maybe some short clips in future.

Background and Purpose:

One reason for rituals such as kajira positions is that they express and reinforce social values and relationships.

Also, from a psychological point of view, doing such activities can often help you feel the suitable emotions.

So on the most basic level, people who smile can often feel a little happier just from smiling. Similarly, if one gets into the spirit of the thing at all, then performing rituals of respect can help one feel respectful.

Thus doing these positions could help the “Bottom” feel sexually desirable as well as vulnerable.

For the master, such positions allow him to feel pride of mastery.

Obeisance:

The "common position of obeisance" is basically the position which results from starting on all fours (supported by her hands and knees), and then bending her elbows so that her elbows and forearms are on the floor, and with head lowered.

An alternative position is for the kajira to lie on her stomach (i.e. fully prone on the floor), called "second obeisance position" in recently-published books. In either case, her hands are beside her head, palms on the floor, and her hair often falls on the floor.

In other contexts, the initial common obeisance position can transition directly into either the Tower position or the Nadu position.

The common obeisance position can also be a usage position, with the “Top” kneeling behind.

Other variation can be: Arms stretched out, hands are crossed same like “Humble”.

Nadu:

One of the most often used of all of the Gorean slave positions, and one of the first that a kajira typically learns.

The word Nadu is a command meaning "kneel" in the Gorean language, and can give its name to the position.

It is also known as the position "of the pleasure slave" .

"In nadu, as the back is straight, the shoulders are back, and this accentuates the delights of the bosom. The widening of the knees suggests the vulnerability of the slave and displays the softness of the open, exposed thighs. The placement of the palms down on the thighs, apart and down, to the sides, suggests that they will be held as they are, and thus are not permitted to fend or thwart a caress. The kneeling position itself is symbolic of submission. The head's being up displays the beauty of the master's property, the beauty of the features, the slenderness of the neck, and such, and, too, of course, in this attitude, the badge of his ownership, her collar, is well exhibited. To be sure, this can differ from master to master. Some prefer the slave's head to be submissively lowered. The slave's eyes may or may not be permitted to meet the master's eyes without permission."

Variations:

Note that there is no absolute standardization of such positions across the planet Gor, and some of the positions have several variants, due to regional differences, or due to the individual preferences of each master, or due to adjusting to the particular circumstances in which a position is performed.

Tower:

•This is another variant of the pleasure slave position, in which the kajira kneels the same way, but with her knees modestly together.

•If her hands are not occupied with some task, then typically they rest loosely in front, with wrists crossed.

•This position is associated with slaves whose duties do not prominently include sexual services; also, pleasure slaves might kneel in this position before free women.

Lesha:

•The Gorean word Lesha translates as "leash".

•In this position, the kajira is usually standing.

•She holds her chin up, her back and shoulders straight, and her head turned to the left, so that a leash may be attached to her collar.

•She also holds her hands behind the small of her back, with her wrists about two inches apart, in a position to be locked into chained slave bracelets.

Sula:

•In this position, a kajira lays upon her back, her hands at her sides, palms upward, her legs widely spread, to await her Master's pleasure.

•Another common supine position in the Gor books is similar to that commanded by "Sula!" as described above, but the kajira lifts and bends one knee.

Bara:

•In response to the command "Bara!", the kajira falls to her stomach, with her head down to the floor and turned to the left, crosses her wrists behind her back, and similarly crosses her ankles, her legs straight, in preparation for binding.

Will write a sapphic vampire story.

Now, a mini update: I'm about to read and analyze the characters and the storyline.

Hello together, as some of you asked about my Kushiel project.

I can only give you a few informations: To be honest I don't really know how it will turned out so far. I had a Phedre Photoshoot and there will be more coming soon. But as far as I know I'm going to make a few things happen according to my Cosplays and combine them with my acting skills.

More will coming soon.

I can't believe it to announce the Kushiel project what is going to happen soon. I can't announce very much. Because the impact of the Kushielverse and of the other sources is quite unknown yet.

But here's a few pictures about Phedre's character design. More informations will coming soon.

Well...I suffer from PTSD...

But I'm doing a bit better now. I have a job and studying now.

But the facility wasn't the reason.

Sadly it's not always possible to look behind closed doors what is actually going on.

It's so easy to create a lovely attitude and pretend an inviting atmosphere.

Also such conditions were normalized.

But it's not normal to experience: Solitary confinement, emotional neglect, threats, no privacy, restraints, time-out.

As a child I experienced already a lot.

September 2014: I started to visit a different school. I struggled with learning, my chronical sickness and bullying.

Winter 2014: I started to visit the social worker & counsler at school because my problems turned out worse. But sadly these counseling sessions weren't helpful at all. I had to visit a psychiatrist for further treatment. It was tried to fix my problems but sadly it wasn't helpful. I developed suicidal thoughts because I was that frustrated. The psychiatrist decided to try some medications. The psychiatrist explained. The first two weeks it could show some side effects. But two weeks after I took the first pill: I developed a serious rare side effect. My parents asked the psychiatrist but she just said: It will pass by soon. But the issue didn't passed by...It got worse.

Autumn 2015: I had a mental breakdown on my way to school. I was sent to a hospital by the ambulance and received tranquelizers to be more compliant. In the hospital I was in a strong delirium. A psychiatrist was talking to me and said: I should be sent to a therapeutic facility.

At the facility (third floor, the secluded ward): The bathrooms were locked. Everytime when someone had to use the bathroom we had to ask for permission and wait til it's unlocked. But often there were times where the staff refused to unlock the door. No makeup was allowed. Also there were some patients who were treated better. I wasn't allowed to have hair ties in my room. In both floors where I was spent my time there was the rule of Silence Time (stay in your room and remain silent). Also books were controlled. I spent the first days in solitary confinement (I was allowed to leave my room and talk to others after the isolation. But it was monitored about topics. When you critized the staff you got punished.) Shaving wasn't allowed. Deodorants weren't allowed. Questions/Suggestions were ignored by the staff. Once I had a short anxiety episode some of the staff made fun of me. The only right ting what they did: To stop my medications. At the third floor I didn't received any therapy (They told my parents I'm attending a program). The only situation where I had something therapy-related I'd got a questionaire. I also was told being too fat for having an ED. Well, I was underweight. I was once allowed to attend a group activity at the third floor. It was about crafting. After I left the room, one of the staff teared my crafting work apart and threw it away.

First floor, ward with "less stricter" rules: After over one week where I tried to behave. I was shifted to the first floor. I shared my room with a girl (and we became friends). Also the staff noticed that and weren't happy about that. We both were in seperate classes in school. The classes were more like: Just do something school related and try to look busy. We both had seperate therapy programs. In the "silence time" we were in our room together. But we just talked and didn't cared about the rule. One hour before bedtime you have to be in your room and remain silent to get ready for bed. We both had different bedtimes. But mostly I went with her in our room and we still chatted together during she got ready for bed. During bedtime we weren't allowed to talk. But we still talked to each other and we got scolded and punished once. The bathroom got locked next time. I was shifted to another room and I was forced to sleep on the floor. She was shifted to a single room and was in solitary confinement. At the first floor I received some therapy. The group therapy was very strange. We received a behavior diagram and it was used for behavior modification.

March 13, 2024:

I did part 2 of my research progress.

I read the reviews about that facility:

June 8, 2021: Only the illness counts and not you as person.

October 7, 2020: Staff wasn't friendly nor trained. No understanding of illness related behavior. Station was far too narrow for 10 people. Had to sleep on the floor. Anorexic had to walked up and down the narrow hallway.

May 12, 2020: I was there for six months. I wasn't allowed to leave my room. I also had to eat my meals alone in my room. I was only allowed to shower and go to the toilet if I was accompanied. If I behaved incorrectly, I received punishments. I self-harmed a lot in the beginning just to finally get out of my room. Worst time of my life.

WTF!

On March 12, 2024: I started to do researches about the facility, where I was sent to several years ago.

The facility is still running and is still offering programs for children and teenagers.

In the first phase I started with researches.