Coming Undone

There comes a point in life where you just want better for yourself. A better life, better people, better energies, better routine, better faith, better health, better mental progression. 

every woman should get a government subsidized large iced coffee in the morning

*holds your hand and swings it a little bit when we walk*

*swings my arm around at maximum velocity and flings u into the sun*

me: (farts right before leaving a store) my girlfriend: oh wait I want to look at this one last thing me: no we got to go right now

Local Dumbasss Knew What They Were Getting Themselves Into and Did It Anyways

el gato mas gordo 

Fat Fred is not up for adoption but we do have smaller models available

Motherfucker ultimate

It's Fat Fred Friday