Don't worry about me.

I’m a mixture of laughing and screaming

"What did you say?” Felix craned his head, a hand moving up to cup his ear. The man repeated his previous statement, although this time it came out as a question. Most faltered when met with Felix’ charm, his ability to twist tone and action to seem almost normal. Ah, yes his act of thievery was a trick! A joke! Except it wasn’t.

He nodded, an exaggerated motion. “Yeah, sorry I didn’t quite catch you. I thought you said ‘You can ABSOLUTELY steal that!’ but now that we’ve cleared the misunderstanding up, this little mishap, I’ll just put this right back to where it belongs.” Felix shrugged, a ‘what can you do?’ gesture that didn’t quite seem as sheepish as he had intended being he was in his full suit of armor.

Once he was a few feet away from the man, he gave a short two finger salute that soon turned into him pushing the stranger against the wall. Strength surprising for his stature, he pinned the man to the wall and smiled. “Look, hun, I can take this wallet. I can take any fucking wallet if you can’t fucking stop me.” He blew a breathless laugh. “The concept isn’t that hard. You don’t go yelling ‘No, don’t steal that!’ I mean, did you honestly think that was going to work? If you yell Stop when someone’s running do you think they’ll really listen.’Oh, okay. Since you said so.” 

Felix shook his head and leaned in closer to the man’s ear. “I can’t steal this? Ooh, bite me. I so fucking am.”

( I’m so happy [ heart eyes emoji ] )

"You actually believed that I liked you?” Felix cocked his head, his pursed lips and sympathetic look masked by his helmet. He stood over his ex-employer, the girl struggling to free herself from her bonds. Oh, usually the rope would be cutting into her but no he had these made well. It was embarrassing, he had to admit but she had paid him money. They could even be considered friends. No, he made sure that in that moment she wouldn’t be distracted by pain. He had a speech to deliver, after all.

( That’s cheating. I need to know what the text would say asshole )

✆ - Morning Text

Felix: Rise and shine, beautiful! The birds are singing, the sun is shining, the knives are sharp and ready for killing.

Felix: Jokes aside, this is your wake up call via text. I would call but you don’t pay me for room service. Anyhoo, if you want to tail that guy now’s the time to wake the fuck up and meet me.

✘ - for a text that should never have been sent 

  Felix: { Censored } 

☼ - for a congratulatory text 

send me a ✄ for my character’s reaction to yours walking in on them in the middle of killing someone.

     Night was quiet, hushed footsteps and stray whispers. Felix inhaled the air, cold through his helmet, and looked up at the stars. The sky was darker than the sky on Chorus, which was strange until you took into account all the alien towers sending lights everywhere, but the stars weren’t as visible. Still pretty but not the best. He looked back at his target, flipping his knife casually in the air and catching it absentmindedly in his other hand. Show off. But what skill. The man whimpered and raised his hands, muttering something about money and mercy. Felix laughed, the sound resounding harshly against the walls of the narrow alleyway. “Look, bud, it’s nothing personal. It’s just business.”

     A foot stepping into a puddle, unaware, clumsy, searching. Felix turned, his armor masking his features but his attitude clear in his posture, his gestures, and then his tone. “Aaaand here we have a stray.” Felix stretched out his hands, as if presenting the girl. He tossed his knife into the air again and again and again with each step he took towards her. “Now what should I do with you.” He bobbed his head from side to side as he questioned her presence. Whether or not he should kill her. Whether or not he should let her go. 

artificialhime

     Felix frowned. The tiny plaza filled with applause, a crowd had gathered consisting of people around their teens to young(ish) adulthood and they were cheering. Beneath the yells, he heard the pew pew’s of imitation gunshots, the child-friendly ‘hero’ noises of people who want the thrill of violence without the bloodshed. The applause persisted and he looked on from his spot behind the mob, hands folded behind his head in a casual display. Alright. Strolling forward, Felix threaded through the gaps between the crowd.

     Two kids stood in the center of the crowd, some new game system holding their attention. The two held dual guns, the source of the fake noises, and were shooting at some cutesy monsters displayed on the two screens. Their concentrated faces and the competitive air about them was almost enough to make him laugh. Were they serious? This whole crowd was in awe at these two kids just because they could shoot some plush animals straight out of some toddler’s sugar-induced nightmares. How adorable. He stood, arms crossed, watching the “battle” until suddenly it was over.

     “And the winner is...” He couldn’t help but chuckle. The girl seemed so proud and the other player so defeated. If any of them were on a battlefield, his battlefield, they wouldn’t stand a chance. “Would anyone else want to do battle...” Felix stopped listening to the announcer, whoever it was advertising the new game, and considered his choices. He probably wouldn’t be used to the system. He probably wouldn’t know the tricks of the ‘trade’. But he was experienced in other ways. Felix looked again at the child and shrugged. 

     He raised a lazy hand and spoke with charming nonchalance. “I’ll take a shot.”