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Happy birthday, Alli! âĽ
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@killerbartender
âWe are the stories we live!â
Happy birthday, Alli! âĽ

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If you notice me reblogging
a repost
stolen art
false information
etc.
please let me know, youâre not rude or annoying and I actually do give a fuck and I will correct my mistake, thank you
"Dead...I knew I would cause someone's death, but why?
"⌠Donât worry; Itâs been on the fritz for a while now; I dropped the tower part of it during a hallucination a few weeks before you got back." he rubbed his face and leaned against the other for a moment to rest his eyes with a sigh. "Okay- Unplug this one and take anything out of it. I have a back up." Desmond disappeared down the hall before he plucked up the replacement and slid it on the counter in the old oneâs place. "Iâll get that one repaired sometime when I get enough tips."
His savior! After unplugging the faulty machine, he slid it aside for the functioning one, eager to get his rare caffeine fix. âThanks for tellinâ me the thingâs been broken. I thought I destroyed your property.â
"Hmn? Technically it is ours; I might have borrowed a few bucks while we were together to get this one." he smiled a little.Â
"Dead...I knew I would cause someone's death, but why?
Why did it have to be the coffee maker? Why?
Someone, help! Call Geek Squad! Call 911! WHY!?
Donât do this to me, Mr. Coffee! Hold on, you beautiful bastard! You can pull through this!â
"Calm down- itâs far too early into the morning- at least for me- to have you yelling so loud over a dog or something; whatâs going on?" Desmond squinted to minimize the light as he waddled into the kitchen, a sheet wrapped about his hips.Â
"Babe, you donât understand." Being comically dramatic, he placed his hand on the bartenderâs shoulder to comfort him and prepare him for the bad news. "Itâs the coffee maker, DesâŚI donât know if itâll make it."
"... Don't worry; It's been on the fritz for a while now; I dropped the tower part of it during a hallucination a few weeks before you got back." he rubbed his face and leaned against the other for a moment to rest his eyes with a sigh. "Okay- Unplug this one and take anything out of it. I have a back up." Desmond disappeared down the hall before he plucked up the replacement and slid it on the counter in the old one's place. "I'll get that one repaired sometime when I get enough tips."
"Dead...I knew I would cause someone's death, but why?
Why did it have to be the coffee maker? Why?
Someone, help! Call Geek Squad! Call 911! WHY!?
Donât do this to me, Mr. Coffee! Hold on, you beautiful bastard! You can pull through this!â
"Calm down- it's far too early into the morning- at least for me- to have you yelling so loud over a dog or something; what's going on?" Desmond squinted to minimize the light as he waddled into the kitchen, a sheet wrapped about his hips.Â

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Consume-Destroy:
Desmond stepped into the parking lot after his shift and swallowed his pills, washing them back with the glass of iced vodka. Hearing footsteps in the parking lot, he lift his head and wiped his hand with the fresh bar towel. He didn't want to disturb the other, it was too late for that; and he didn't exactly want to start a fight at this hour. After a moment of deliberation he spoke up. "'Ey- Y'lost?"Â
We could fix that~ /Chuckles and rubs away the honey/ Whereâs the glass babe?
In the trash.
Hey, muffin top? Did you take your meds yet? It was time to take them like half an hour ago.
Thanks. âŚ. No⌠I forgot again⌠Mind grabbing them? Should be the front or one of the side compartments in my bagâŚÂ
[He retrieved the medication and a glass of water for Desmond, holding out a handful of the pills, already counted out to the proper dosage.]
You canât just forget to take these, Des.
/Gets up and takes off the gloves and plucks up the glass./ You're worrying. I can ignore my visions to a point... Missing them for an hour or two isn't dangerous. /Chuckles/ But I get where you're coming from /Takes the pills and washes them back with water./ Thanks Clay...
We could fix that~ /Chuckles and rubs away the honey/ Whereâs the glass babe?
In the trash.
Hey, muffin top? Did you take your meds yet? It was time to take them like half an hour ago.
Thanks. .... No... I forgot again... Mind grabbing them? Should be the front or one of the side compartments in my bag...Â
What if he asks if you own panties? You know I donât lie.
He can ignore me all he wants, but Iâm still gonna tell him howâŚdamn near perfect you areâŚ
I think thatâs privy information that you get to know. Heâs never going to bed me and Iâd like to keep it that way.Â
âŚ.Youâre a piece of work, Clay /Chuckles and cleans/Â
Ugh. Why does my brain have to form an image of every scenario that comes out of your mouth? Iâm scarred!
We could fix that~ /Chuckles and rubs away the honey/ Where's the glass babe?

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What if he asks if you own panties? You know I donât lie.
He can ignore me all he wants, but Iâm still gonna tell him howâŚdamn near perfect you areâŚ
I think that's privy information that you get to know. He's never going to bed me and I'd like to keep it that way.Â
....You're a piece of work, Clay /Chuckles and cleans/Â
Iâll do the talkinâ for you, babe. I donât want him to, you know, murder me in cold blood, but I really want to tell him what heâs missed out, which is a son anyone else would be damn proud of.
Even if you own panties.
Don't you dare mention the panties.Â
..... Thanks Clay... /Smiles and starts wetting the rags./ I don't think that he'll listen.
....
Of course I do- I mop the floors at least once every two weeksâŚ.. Itâs in the closet, babe- sâthe red one. Just fill it in the tub. That gives me shivers just thinking about going back to the compound⌠YouâŚ. Iâll never stop laughing if I ever see him again.Â
Got it.
[A man on a mission, he jogged around the house to fulfill his task. After a moment, he returned with a bucket filled with hot water, but not hot enough to burn Desmondâs hands, of course.]
Just donât tell him youâre laughing because of me. âGuyâs scary.
/While he waited, Des pulled on the lined gloves and mixed the cleaners before pouring it into the steaming bucket./Â
Thanks, Clay. There's never going to be words exchanged between him and I..Â
....
Alright- So you let it dryâŚ. Okay- just get me the hot water then and Iâll get the cleaner and glove-Â
âŚ..
Have I told you I love you lately? Tell me more about what happened. How the hell did you meet him in your dream?
Alright. Hot water. Got itâŚErmâŚBabe, do you own a bucket? Who owns a bucket?
Heh. Well, I walked into the apartment, and the asshole was tryinâ to drag you out. I tried to step between you guys to calm him down. He shoved me, so I said, âItâs self defence now, fucker!â and kicked him right in those glorious Desmond makers of his. Then, you pulled some hot Assassin shit and knocked him out. Iâm tellinâ you, it was awesome.
Of course I do- I mop the floors at least once every two weeks..... It's in the closet, babe- s'the red one. Just fill it in the tub. That gives me shivers just thinking about going back to the compound... You.... I'll never stop laughing if I ever see him again.Â
....
âŚâŚ.. Yes⌠it is a good time. And youâre lucky itâs not the first time that bloody thing has brokenâŚ. Itâs alright. Just got to get me a bucket of hot water and Iâll get the towels.Â
'Already tried that. 'Might need chemicals, sweetness.
Hey, I had a dream I kicked your dad in the nuts, and I woke up with an adrenaline boner over it. It was awesome.
Alright- So you let it dry.... Okay- just get me the hot water then and I'll get the cleaner and glove-Â
.....
Have I told you I love you lately? Tell me more about what happened. How the hell did you meet him in your dream?

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Desmond's Nicknames:
Des
Dessie
Desiree
Princess
Sweetness
Baby
Babe
Beautiful
Gorgeous
Sexy Bartender
Princess Jasmine
Honey Bunch
Sugar Plum
Pumpkin
Sweetie Pie
Cuppycake
Gumdrop
Muffin Top
Virgin Sacrifice
....
Do you- have you  heard yourself explain that?
I just did. It sounded okay to me.
A little confusing, but okay.
Youâre lucky youâre loveable.Â
Iâm glad you think so. Is this a good time to admit I broke the honey jar and made everything a little sticky in the kitchen?
........ Yes... it is a good time. And you're lucky it's not the first time that blood thing has broken.... It's alright. Just got get me a bucket of hot water and I'll get the towels.Â