imjusthereforthefood they/them

i cannot stress this enough: know when to step away. know when it's just a troll. know when you're putting energy into the wrong areas. it is so fucking tempting to get into hour-long debates. i got caught in one literally hours after it happened. i am not coming to you from a place of calm suggestion: i'm mostly reminding myself, partly out of desperation.

like you, i feel incredibly, unspeakably upset. if nothing else, i feel fucking gaslit. i keep returning to how cliche passages from 1984 have become. i keep thinking - how fucking stupid do you think we are? i keep thinking - holy shit. he's going to get away with it.

lately when i get really upset about something like this, i instead look for volunteering opportunities in my community. this has been genuinely amazing and has helped me feel like i'm actually fucking doing something. yes i still make the posts and i still doomscroll. these days, though, i take "invest in your community" as a demand, not a suggestion. going to library events. checking in with friends. helping others.

it does actually help; turning nebulous anger into something real and useable. i am still learning this, by the way. but i have noticed that when i am pulled down to their level, i walk away feeling incapacitated, red-black with rage, blurry with stress and the horrible sense of an inescapable destiny.

and meanwhile, every time i instead try to move forward positively, with the real intention just being i'm going to help someone today if it fucking kills me - change happens like, immediately. the hour of effort i spend helping out people in my community has massively improved my burnout and anxiety.

to be honest it is all still burning a hole in me. the casual acceptance of white nationalism under barely-coherent threadbare excuses. the ceaseless unbearable rage and unfocused helplessness are still present but, like. these days i get up, i make coffee, i go help somebody. i fucking put my back into it. rather than saying to myself when is someone gonna do something - i am someone. and i am going to fucking do something. perfect is the enemy of good. i am not trying to be perfect, i'm trying to do good.

no getting up. no looking at the flag.

not to talk tough but i have sat through every pledge of allegiance in my life, and that includes the bush administration's hyper-patriotic war on terror.

you can NOT be compelled to say the pledge, and that also means you can't be given the 'choice' of doing it or taking a punishment. being sent into the hall is a grey area.

if you are punishing for refusing, parents or a more sympathetic teacher (like say a history or english teacher) can step in to intercede with the principal. do not be afraid to escalate.

it’s such an unreal experience

like

you turn off your light in a cave and wave your hand in front of your face

and

you can see this shadowy thing moving in the black space where your hand is

it looks like the same shadowy thing you would see in your room at night if you waved your hand in front of your face, it’s there and vaguely hand-shaped, and your brain recognizes it as your hand because your brain is aware of where your hand is and what it is doing

But You Are Not Seeing Anything

Inside a cave, there is No Light. No matter how far your pupils spread, there is no light for them to draw in, no light to put an image on your retina.

But your brain just Fucking Assumes that because it knows where your hand is and what it is doing, clearly it can see it.

So it creates a shadowy thing for your eyes to be seeing.

Brain is like “there’s a hand there”

Eyes are like “yup sure thing brain I can totally see it”

Brain is like “nice”

but there is no hand, you cannot see the hand, you are seeing a literal actual hallucination in the cave because your brain thinks it knows best

I like to turn my torch off, sit down with my back against the wall,  and wait to see how long it takes before I start seeing things or feeling like the ground is moving, or hearing things. Because I know I’m not - I’m in complete darkness, utter silence, sitting in rock that hasn’t moved in hundreds, if not thousands, of years.

ibuprofen was first discovered in 1961; phalloplasty and HRT are less experimental

My cat got a cold and the vet recommended a warm compress for his eyes. I think he’s enjoying his spa time. 

Point Defiance Steps

Mates

Rising Tides

Friend kept trying to tell his crying kindergartener to calm down and relax and the kid growled “I AM relaxed” while visibly tensing every muscle in his body and I was like “oh that’s me at work every day” and we had a chuckle.

Parents look to other adults like “shit are they mad? Do they think my kid is acting like a demon?” And this response is my attempt to say “no. I think your kid is just acting like a human being.”

guess what though? you can log into your account, click Cancel Subscription, and get the option to continue your subscription at the same price WITHOUT their bullshit AI.

That's right, the new, higher price is actually a different subscription that includes AI that everyone is being opted into by force! What a cool and fun product that clearly everyone wants.

you can also choose to buy Word 2024 without AI for a single lump sum that will be yours in perpetuity, with no updates, for one computer.

OP's daughter: " thank you puppy, no, i can get up on my own puppy, thank you, give me a hug." (cr: 海棠妈)

(image source in the watermark in the corner)

And not to detract from how this affects disabled people, but this also applies to cyclists and people pushing strollers.

I personally have found electric scooters to be useful as someone who doesn't own a car, but you have to keep in mind that you're not the only person who needs to use the sidewalks and/or cycle paths, and it's not so easy for everyone to just go around if the path is blocked.

Actually, you can report improper scooter disposal, AND the person can get fined for it. Look up your city's improper scooter parking rules, but here is generally what you should do, taken from my city's website on it.

" When reporting a parking issue, you must provide an address and specify the operator, and the type of parking violation; otherwise, we cannot notify the operator to remedy the issue.

Bikes and scooters that are incorrectly parked should be reported so Lime and/or Lyft know to remedy the violation. There is also an option to report bikes and scooters that are being ridden incorrectly. The city provides an easy way to report them by calling 311 and through our Violation Form by following the process below:

1. Determine if the bike or scooter is parked incorrectly such as, blocking the sidewalk, curb ramps, utility access, and/or on private property, specific examples include:

Not standing upright using kickstand

Not permitting at least 5ft of pedestrian clearance

Not permitting at least 4ft of utilities clearance

Parked within 1.5ft (18in) from the curb or building

Parked blocking visibility/sight triangles at intersections or transit stops

Parked on private property

Not in good working order

º Dilapidated

º Broken/missing kickstand

º Missing ID number or QR code

2. Take photos of the violation, ID number, and QR code to submit with violation

3. Identify the Operator

º Lime – Green & Red

º Lyft – Pink & Black or Pink & White

4. Determine if the vehicle is being ridden incorrectly and report a moving violation ticket:

º Riding on sidewalk

º Speeding

º Riding in wrong direction

º Disobeying traffic laws

º Other

5. Violation Type (Operator, User, or Moving)

Operator Violation – Bikes or scooters deployed by Lime or Lyft. Often deployed in groups of five or more. Damage to vehicles (such flat tires, graffiti, broken kickstands, or other vehicle damage) is also an operator violation.

User Violation – Bikes or scooters parked by riders after use. These are often parked in groups of one to three scooters or bicycles, rather than five or ten like when the operators deploy vehicles.

Moving Violation – Any unlawful operation of a Lime or Lyft scooter or bicycle. This includes behaviors such as sidewalk-riding, riding against the flow of traffic, or disobeying signage or signals. "

Please report scooters left on sidewalks, and if you can, move them.

What I mean is that it's ridiculous to think that decolonization inherently means mass suffering and relocation, that's what colonization does. Decolonization is recognizing the crimes of colonization, but more importantly, material, political and social steps to give power and self-determination to the exploited native people who were victims of colonialism and imperialism.