Honestly, I dont even know how to start this. All I know is that I really miss you a lot. On days I'll try to explain myself how none of this matters anymore and how I should just forget about you (trust me I've tried but failed miserably). By night, I start thinking about the words I could've said to make you stay.
You were my strength. Remember how I used to call you my 'safehouse'? But now I'm just pretending to be this strong woman who doesn't need to be told what to do. At times when the world gets overwhelming, I retrieve back to the world we created together..our texts. I'll scroll up to the 'I love you and I miss you', to the moments where you said ''no matter whichever way whatever pans out, a small part of me will always love you". Does it still? Do you?
I still wake up everyday, in a hope for your 'Good morning babeoo' waiting for me in my phone. But sometimes, it gets too frustrating. I miss you, I get angry at you, I don't know what to do and then i just give up and cry.
I never had the guts to tell you all of this. Maybe because I don't know you anymore. I dont know if you still think about me the way I do with every breath that I take. I dont even know if you remember my name or my voice or the times you could never fall asleep without listening to it. You said I was your home. But now that you've left, I still await your homecoming.
I've tried to text you this more times that you could ever imagine, but somehow the fear of losing you even after losing you creeps in. Hence, I'm writing this letter and hopefully one day, I'll gather up some courage to send it.
~ All the words I should have said
jbbartram-illu
stormborns
jacobvanloon
germansingergirl
dailybridgerton
janainaart
tangentwithtanner
kaledo-art
