looking for sunlight

zine i made about being a boring queer!

nothing more natural than changing and evolving and learning and discovering things about yourself.

But with Glinda, the narrative framing holds her responsible for her actions and is constantly playing with the irony of her being “Glinda the Good,” when she is decidedly not, so that shit’s actually going somewhere, it’s building toward something with real weight to it; there’s character development happening, there’s thematic significance, we’re fucking around with morality and politics and propaganda and her messy-ass love life all at the same time, so it’s just like yes, holy shit, please keep digging your own grave, keep making these horrible decisions that will permanently fuck up your life and the lives of the people you love, keep sweeping your personal issues under the rug and pretending it has no effect on you or the world at large, keep telling yourself they all love you and that’s all that matters, keep insisting that you’re not the sugar hiding the venom, keep lying to yourself that you aren’t the problem, keep repeating until it kills you that everything’s going to be okay and Elphaba will be fine and none of this is your fault. 

Like we are headed in a direction with that shit, a story is unfolding, she’s wrong about everything, and every terrible decision she makes comes with a thousand contradictory layers that run the gamut from selfishness, to ambition, to cowardice, to shame, to regret, to protectiveness, to humility, to kindness, to sacrifice, to love and devotion, typically in a one step forward two steps back pattern, and all of that is positioning her so she can actually learn what it means to be a good, complete person beyond just the marketable image, so there’s something very satisfying about watching all the horrible decisions she makes. 

But with Fiyero, it’s like…he also makes all of these completely self-interested stupid decisions, but it’s always…for Elphaba, his one and only purpose for existing. So it’s always framed as him being a martyr, even though the things he’s doing are objectively shitty and the consequences his actions have for the rest of Oz are just as bad as Glinda’s. He chooses to stay in the Emerald City willingly serving a dictator…for Elphaba. He could have left and used his own abundant personal resources to find her in a far less dictator-supporting way, but instead he’s gonna hang around…for Elphaba. He’s the poster boy of the military branch of the regime…for Elphaba. He’s the public face of the dictator’s surveillance presence across Oz…for Elphaba. He strings along another woman he has no interest in…for Elphaba. He doesn’t do a single thing to stand up to the regime because he’s too busy looking around…for Elphaba. He does nothing to help the Animals who are being harassed or displaced or disappeared by his subordinates because he’s preoccupied galloping around…for Elphaba. He doesn’t even do anything to defend Elphaba’s honor or reputation because he’s on the hunt…for Elphaba. He is utterly useless to the entire story unless it’s…for Elphaba. 

And the framing is always noble hero, but it’s like…idk, I’m havin a hard time with that one, kids. To me he really only has one shining moment of true heroism and that’s the obvious when he gives himself over the to the Gale Force to help Elphaba escape, and granted, that’s a Gold Star Hero Moment, snaps for everyone, self sacrifice does tend to bump you up the ladder to sainthood, hard to argue with that one.

But every other thing leading up to that moment is also framed as him being the noble hero, which just really doesn’t land for me. It mostly just comes off as annoying, especially when he throws a tantrum at Glinda for not leaving, while also just like…not leaving himself…and seems to blame Glinda for his predicament which he…put himself in…and when we first meet him in Act 1, his philosophy is “run away from your problems,” and then at the end of Act 2 his philosophy is honestly still “run away from your problems” only now it’s with a girl and he’s made of straw and he sees beauty through Different Eyes, so.

idk I’m tryin so hard to be nice to Fiyero, because I do love embracing the canon of it all and I’m glad Elphaba gets to have her emotional support scarecrow while she’s on the lam because she deserves something after all the shit she’s been through - but this rewatch has me feelin all sorts of Unimpressed with The Boy. Like he’s lucky he’s played by JBailes and did an absolute banger version of Dancing Through Life and managed to be genuinely endearing in Act 1. Other than that, he’s kinda just…there, making Glinda-level bad decisions with absolutely none of her complexity or character development or thematic relevance, but because he’s a man in love with Elphaba I guess that makes it heroic or something.

I’d almost say if you’re gonna crucify Glinda you better crucify Fiyero too, but even that seems to come with a slant that’s pro Straw Boy and anti Bubble Girl, like he’s the noble crucifixion and she’s the deserved crucifixion.

Anyway I’m sure misogyny doesn’t play a part in any of this framing.

I’m sure of it.

Hundret percents.

Niina Petrõkina (EST)