description: ur mummy needs money, so does she go to work? NO, she sells you to One Direction for 12 dollars :)
tw: curthing teehee, slavery ig?, abuse :(, mentions of poo poo, pirate lingo, gay louis and harry?, reader is bi but barley mentioned, liam is a psychic, omegaverse mentioned, mentions of hallway s3x, making out in a closet, reader gets obliterated, reader mentioned to be skinny, homophobia, lube.
authors note: this was first started over two years ago, it was also co-written with my awesome boyfriend @c00l6uy
you wake up, so sleepy, you throw your gourgus raven hair up in a messy bun. y/n ebony dementia darkness raven way, a nobody, no friends :(
"Y/N, GET YOUR BIG BONEY ASS DOWN HERE" your mother yells, you quickly lace up your knee-high Converse.
before you can even get out your bedroom door, your mother's fist crashes through your solid oak door, grabbing your flawless messy bun, and ripping your oh-so-thin figure through the hole, tossing you down the three flights of stairs.
your mommy catches up quickly, you just regain the energy to lift up your head, when you open your eyes, you see the most lip-smacking boy band you've ever seen.
"Ello love, that was quite the tumble innit" says Harry, "WHERES MY FACKING MONEY" yells your mom, they don't even spare her a glance as they toss $12 in coins (pennies in a Home Depot bucket) at her. Niall tries to help you up but you are so skinny that he accidentally tosses you into the ceiling, and you float down like a feather, landing perfectly on your feet.
" oi, get in the fuckin car you scallywag, I hate leaving me booty for so long" pirate zayn says.
"yeah, get in the boot innit" says Liam, picking you up and tossing you in. you take a little nap on the way to the one-direction mansion that's shaped like a telephone booth. you wake to a harsh blinding light,
" finally, some fresh air" y/n says,
" OI, QUIT YOUR JABBERING" Pirate Zayn says as he swiftly moves to put his hook on y/n's soft pillowy lips, but misses and ends up hooking through her nose. bleeding profusely, y/n now has a hot new nose piercing.
after like five months of living in the mansion, the boys have just released a new single about taking you away, and hiding you from the world. as you are crying and listening to their new song in your room, louis gayly barges into your room with naill, who is not gay.
"oi hoe, tonight were havin a party to celebrate the success of our new song about you." louis says in a gay manner.
"we have a dress for you to wear too. put this on and get ready!" naill shoves a box into your hands before slamming the door as louis and naill leave. you sigh and think to yourself,
"I hope its black... like my soul..." your hands tremble in anticipation as your open the box, only to be blinded by the obnoxious, glittery, and hot pink material inside. after you recover your sight, you inspect the dress with a scowl on your face.
"this will show off all my curves(bones)... did they do this on purpose?" you think to yourself, but immediately shoo away the silly thought, this was probably just all they had. you put on the dress and your usual knee high converse, applying some emo makeup too. you hear your name being called from downstairs in and obnoxious British accent, and roll your eyes before running down the stairs, fixing your messy bun and emo bangs on the way down. upon seeing your appearance, harry scoffs and grabs you by one of your frail, paper thin arms.
"you cant be going out looking like that, love. here... let me help you..." he says before delicately tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ear. he then violently yanks your hair out of its usual flawless messy bun, pulling out a small patch of hair from your head, leaving a bald spot. a single drop of blood rolls down your face as your eyes well with tears. YEOWCH!!!
"thanks...bitch." you say in defiance, rubbing your bald spot.
"dont talk back to me like that, kitten" he lightly kisses your cheek, afraid that he used to much force it might crumple your delicate skin. you blush red as a tomato and follow him as he walks to the car with the other boys.
SECOND TIMESKIP (ARRIVING AT THE PARTY)
after a couple hours of hanging at the party, liam notices you getting pretty overwhelmed. you feel strong arms grip your shoulders, and before you know it your in a cramped broom closet with one foot in a rusty mop bucket filled with brown, cold water. liam towers over you, still holding your shoulders in his firm grip. "liam, what are you-" you try to speak, but are cut off by liam placing his finger over your soft, pillowy lips.
"i know you've been wanting this for quite some time... i am a psychic after all." he places a longing kiss on y/n's, plush, moisturised lips.
"what am i doing... what about the others? i cant be with him... he's so cute though..." you think to yourself as he kisses you. liam chuckles.
"i can read your thoughts love, no need to keep them inside." he pauses before grinning and leaning in. "...do you really think I'm cute?" y/n blushes and turns her head away.
"b-baka! of course not!" you cross your arms to further your point, but your thoughts betray you. he chuckles and places a hand on your chin, making you face him again. you smile and he kisses you again, placing his hands on your hips.
one steamy makeout session later, you two are walking out of the building the party was in, hand in hand. the others eye you suspiciously before Harry speaks up. "what were you two doin' all night?" he smirks and raises a brow. you blush, knowing he probably suspects something. liam stands in front of you, growling possessively, his alpha instincts kicking in.
"she's mine! you stay away from her, it's not her time!" he gets on all fours and lunges at Harry, knocking him to the ground. you stand in shock before trying to intervene, placing your delicate hands on Liam's back, trying and failing to pull him away from Harry.
"stop it Liam, this isn't you!" tears stream down your face before the others come to your rescue, successfully getting Liam off Harry. you rush to Harry to make sure he's okay, kneeling by him and brushing his hair out of his face. his face looks smooth and pristine as ever, but there appears to be a large bite mark on his neck. you gasp in shock and look back to Liam. he turns his head away in shame, growling softly. harry opens his eyes and you help him stand up, he's a bit wobbly, still dazed from the attack. he fully stands up, something rolls from his pant leg and a loud metal sound can be heard.
harrys eyes widen and the color drains from his face, "oopsie, there goes my titanium booty cork" harry says shyly. louis chimes in "i told you not to wear it out in public, dumbass", harry whimpers at the scolding from his alpha.
Niall aggressively side eyes them while whispering the f slur. no one but y/n hears, and you give him a nasty look. despite how obnoxiously heterosexual you might look, you dig the chicks too. louis helps harry back to the car, and liam gives you a peck on the cheek before shoving you in the boot (of the car). zayne's pirate parrot picks him ups and drops him into the sunroof of the car, and the car speeds off back towards the mansion, tearing up traffic the whole way there.
TIME SKIP A FEW DAYS LATER
y/n was sitting peacefully in her room, blasting emo music and giving her am emo makeover, the others standing outside her door, trying to get a sniff. except louis and harry, who were totally banging in the hallway. meanwhile pirate zayne was in the backyard practicing his cannon aim. he finally felt proud enough to show the others, running through the halls, he lept over harry and louis banging on the floor, but when he landed he slipped on a huge puddle of lube and slides like a bowling ball into the others standing outside y/ns door, knocking them all down. zayne quickly leaps up and says, "ARRGGHHH ME MATEYS, COME CHECK OUT ME SUPER SICK CANNON BALL SHOTS".
slowly they all make their way downstairs, slower than usual cuz they were waiting for louis and harry to stop banging. once they were all in the back yard, zayne had y/n stand with her back against a tree, but instead of putting an apple on her head, he put a pea on the top of her head, because an apple would be far to big and heavy for her petite figure. liam stood nervous but had a sigma expression on his face.
zayne lined up his cannon, lighting the fuse... BOOM! the dust settled, everyone stood horrified, y/n was completely obliterated, leaving only her perfect messy bun.
liam rushed over to the steaming crater that used to be his precious y/n and gripped her remains, sobbing violently. niall kneeled over to comfort him, petting his hair and whispering sweet nothings into his ear.
"...is there anything that can be done?" he said weakly in between his loud, ugly wails. niall inspected the messy bun, turning it over in his hands and making loud, exaggerated thinking noises.
"there might be one thing, but im not sure if it will work."
"we still have to try." harry walked up now, broken out of his shocked trance from witnessing y/n's tragic obliteration. louis walked up with him, holding his hand discreetly. "i agree," he paused dramatically, "anything for our princess..."
they all had a big group hug then, except for pirate zayne, who ran away and changed his identity so they couldn't take him to court for murder.
you slowly open your eyes on the hospital bed, taking in the bright, sterile surroundings. 3 figures surround y/n, all smiling.
"were so glad you're awake!" said one of them. "we missed you so much!" said another. "liam would have loved to be able to see you." said the last.
"um, im sorry..." you clear your throat, sore from misuse. "but..."
"who are all you people?"
RIP Liam Payne, we started writing this before he died, otherwise we wouldn't have written this, but a masterpiece must be finished.
this is also dedicated to the queen, Brittany Broski.
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