brunch w u

Aries: “Sharing is caring, but I don’t care.”

Taurus: "I love you as much as I love Nutella.”

Gemini: "Proceed being an internet explorer… I mean, like, an explorer of the internet. Don’t use the browser Internet Explorer. God forbid, who do you think I am?”

Cancer: "Leave me alone. I want pasta.”

Leo: “I’m angry because contrary to popular belief, I am not Beyoncé.”

Virgo: “I spend 99% of my life on my laptop and I’m not even sure what I do on my laptop.”

Libra: "Don’t ask me important questions about my life. I can’t even decide what cereal I want in the morning.”

Scorpio: “It’s really dusty and dark in here, but at least life can’t find me.”

Sagittarius: “I’ve been traveling the world like a motherflippin traveller of the world.”

Capricorn: “Don’t blame me, blame the Internet and Kylie Jenner.”

Aquarius: "If there was an earthquake on Mars, would it be called a Marsquake?”