“I Love You” “ I Know “

With a sigh and a wave of your hand, you gave Olivia the okay to answer the question. She happily took your permission and ran with it, always the first to answer any questions you posed in class. If only the rest of these damn middle schoolers were as eager as she was.

“Penelope didn’t want to marry anyone else, so she gave them an impossible task,”

“Why does she always know everything?”

Marcus thought his comment was whispered just low enough that you wouldn’t hear him in the first row, but he was never quite that lucky. He quickly shut his mouth and looked anywhere but in your direction the second he caught sight of the disapproving look you were casting directly at him.

“You are exactly right, Olivia. Thank you for answering my question,” there were a few chuckles in the room at the obvious sarcasm laced through your words, as you hopped up onto your desk to relax and get a better look around the room full of kids. “Penelope knew the only person that could string her husband’s bow, was her husband himself. She needed to buy time, especially when these suitors only really wanted to be the ones to inherit Ithaca-”

There was a loud knocking on the door to your classroom that had been left open for the last 20 minutes of class, interrupting your words. You weren’t surprised in the slightest to meet the eyes of none other than Ryland Grace, the science teacher.

“Uh- sorry! Didn’t mean to interrupt important book talk stuff. Super important, you uh-you never know when Shakespeare will come up at your future desk job,” the cringe that Ryland physically did at his own comment was easy to see, even from across the room. He gave you a sheepish smile, his glasses barely hanging onto his face from their unconventional spot hanging off of one of his ears. The blonde held up the brown bag in his hand, and you could practically smell the food that rested inside. “I’m early, I’m sorry. Didn’t think you’d want to have a cold burger for lunch.”

“I told you!” Marcus still didn’t understand the concept of a whisper, leaning over to his best friend Jason at the desk beside him, slapping him on the arm. “They’re totally dating!”

“As if Mr. Grace could pull her,”

There was a chorus of snickers and laughter through the class, any semblance of order you might’ve had descending into chaos as every single one of your loveable, little shits just kept casting looks between you and Ryland, who still stood awkwardly in your classroom doorway with reddened cheeks.

Your face was surely no better, you were sure you could feel the heat that was emanating off of your skin, as you ran a hand down the burning skin of your face and wondered why you chose to teach these little menaces for the rest of your life. The world decided to be kind to the pair of you though, for once, letting the lunch bell save you from any further embarrassment from a group of 13 year olds.

“Please come to class prepared to actually answer questions tomorrow!” you called out over the hustle and bustle of the class as they grabbed their things, eager to scurry off to their lunch hour and finally eat. “Your unit test is at the end of next week, and I would prefer not to fail all of you.”

They weren’t listening, but by this point in the day you were hungry and didn’t have the energy to try and argue with them.

Any of that tiredness they brought to your bones? It disappeared the second you watched the way they all interacted with Ryland on their way out the door.

Big smiles, every single one of them excited to see the school’s favorite science teacher lingering in the doorway to their English class. You could just barely hear the tail end of one of Ryland’s terrible science puns, something about a hungry planet needing a ‘light snack’ that got a groan out of Marcus. All it did was bring a soft smile to your face, though, one that somehow softened even more at the quick, secret handshake Olivia shared with him before she was out the door.

Then, it was just the two of you, smiling like idiots as you locked eyes across the room again. And god, did you want that fluttering group of butterflies in your stomach to calm down for just a moment.

Having a crush on Dr. Ryland Grace, the former molecular biologist turned San Francisco middle school science teacher, was inevitable from the moment you turned up at the school for your first day over a year ago. Incredibly smart, amazing with kids, and so incredibly handsome you thought your heart stopped beating the first time you saw him–hell, Mrs. Doyle, the math teacher for over 5 years, said there were at least 4 other young teachers that absolutely had crushes on this man. You were far from the first.

He broke that perfect vision of himself you were building in your head within 5 minutes of meeting, tripping over his own two feet and knocking the stack of papers a mile high from the Principal’s hands, but you had only found it even more endearing.

“I didn’t mean to interrupt,” he apologized again, long legs striding across the room and reaching your desk in a matter of seconds. “I had a free period before this, a-and you mentioned this morning you forgot lunch so I grabbed some for both of us-”

“Sal’s?” you questioned, pointing to the bag of foot now sitting on your desk with the familiar logo. “They’re, like, 10 blocks away. Why’d you go that far?”

“Because I know they’re your favorite,”

The flare of heat in your cheeks was instant. Ryland Grace, who rode a damn bike to the school every day, used his free period to ride 10 blocks away and pick you up lunch from your favorite spot, all because you mentioned offhandedly at 7 a.m. about forgetting your lunch for the day.

Well, he certainly didn’t do that for the four fresh out of college teachers that had crushes on him. You’d mentally consider that a hefty win in your book.

“How sweet of you to remember,” Ryland simply waved you off, head turned away as he passed your wrapped burger into your hands, taking up space on your desk chair while you stayed comfortable on top of your desk. “You even remembered tomatoes this time!”

“I forgot them one time and I never hear the end of it,” laughter was shared between you both for a moment as Grace took a bite of his own burger. “I caught the tail end of that discussion. Olivia answering all your questions like a champ?”

“Isn’t she always,” you shot back with another laugh, turning slightly on your desk to better face him. “I swear she’s the only one that I can ever get to answer any of my questions. She might be the only one that does any of my assigned readings.”

“To be fair, can you blame her?” Ryland’s words were muffled slightly by the food in his mouth. You couldn’t even contain the slight smile that grew as he managed to just barely catch the ketchup dripping off his burger before it could smear itself on the stack of papers that needed graded at your desk. “Shakespeare was just…so interesting. Couldn’t get enough of his stuff. Don’t know why your kids don’t want to read it.”

There was silence for a moment, your eyebrow quirked in his direction. The blonde stopped mid bite of his burger, looking back at you quizzically, trying to figure out what he had said wrong.

“You know we’re currently learning The Odyssey, right?”

“Yes?”

“I’ll let you think about that for a second,”

He did, just slowly blinking in your direction. He glanced at the chalkboard behind you, covering in little notes you’d made throughout the class discussion, before they flickered to the copy of the book that sat on your desk. That was finally when you saw the light bulb flicker on above his head, Ryland’s eyes shutting as he let out a loud sigh.

“...that wasn’t written by Shakespeare, was it?”

The laughter that bubbled out of you practically had you throwing your head backward.

“No, but I’m sure Homer won’t be too offended,” feet landing on the ground as you hopped off your desk, you gave Ryland’s shoulder a quick squeeze as you moved past him. “The attempt was cute, though, it was a good try.”

Cute. Why in the world did you let that one slip? You were practically cursing yourself in your head for that one, taking another bite of your burger as you worked to erase the whiteboard to prepare it for your next class. You didn’t dare steal a glance over at Ryland, in fear that your little slip-up was going to ruin everything.

There was only quiet for a moment before the single moment of awkwardness was gone.

“I promise you I know Homer wrote that. I swear!”

The desperation to believe him drew another laugh out of you. Sparing a glance in his direction, Ryland was giving you his best, exaggerated puppy dog eyes, begging you to believe him, as a smile just barely squeaked its way onto his lips.

“Right, of course you did. My mistake. Whatever you say, Ryland-”

“I mean it!” It was his turn to laugh this time, a sound that had those butterflies rattling around once more. “I was just…distracted.”

“Uh-huh, distracted,” as if you were preparing to scold one of your students, you turned to face him fully with a hand on your hip, eyebrow raised expectantly. “By what, exactly?”

If a human being could buffer, Ryland Grace always seemed to be constantly buffering. Your eyebrow remained raised, waiting for him to piece together his response. All he could do was open and close his mouth like a fish, before looking away and taking another bite of his food.

“Nevermind that, just finish your food before it gets cold. I did bike, like, three miles to get that thing,”

With a roll of your eyes that held zero malice what-so-ever, you made sure the blonde could see your next bite of your food, a satisfied smile on his face.

“Back to the previous topic,” you steered the conversation in another direction, wiping off the last bits of chalk on the board and writing down your next period at the top so that you could start the discussion on the reading over again. “I don’t understand why it’s so hard to get some of these kids to just read the content. They all pay attention in your class!”

“I heard Jason make a comment yesterday during class that Marcus has a crush on Olivia. Maybe they’re too distracted to read,”

You shot him a skeptical look.

“Marcus, crushing on Olivia? He was just making fun of her before you came in the room,”

Ryland averted his eyes, suddenly very interested in his ID badge hanging around his neck from his school issues lanyard.

“W-well, maybe he just doesn’t…know how to express his feelings,” he spared a glance up at you, seeing you were still watching, as he tripped over his words again. “It can be hard for boys–and men–of all ages, to…tell someone how they feel.”

“Well, I don’t know where he’s learning from, but making fun of the girl you like isn’t the right way to go about things,” you shot back.

“Then teach them!” Ryland sounded absolutely ecstatic, that light bulb over his head going off again as he looked like he’d come up with the world’s greatest idea. “Classic literature, there’s plenty of great love stories in there. Get his interest by teaching them about that, so he can learn from them.”

“Alright, give me an example then, Mr. Suddenly an Expert in Classic Literature,”

“Romeo and Juliet,” he said like it was the easiest thing in the world, balling up the remnants of his finished food and tossing it in the bag it came in. “Greatest love story ever told, so great Taylor Swift wrote a song about them.”

“Except they don’t run off and get married and live happily ever after, Ryland. Romeo thinks she is dead and kills himself with poison, and when Juliet realizes he’s dead she stabs herself,”

Ryland’s excitement fell slightly, his mouth forming a little ‘o’ shape.

“...oh,”

“Don’t think that’s what I want to teach young, impressionable pre-teens about love-”

“Daisy and Gatsby, then! He loved her so much he stood on that dock staring at the-the bright yellow light of a stoplight for her,”

“It was a green light and it was the dock light, first of all. I’m not even sure how you could be that off. Secondly, Gatsby is murdered at the end of the book and Daisy doesn’t even attend the funeral, she and Tom move away and pretend it never happened,”

Ryland’s eyes are shut at this point, his fingers massaging his temples and those glasses just barely hanging on from their place around his neck.

“...does anyone not die in these old books?”

The sound of your laughter permeates the room and you sweep over, collecting his trash and combining it with yours. You never even spared him a glance, though you could feel his eyes on you, as you swept the trash away with you to the other side of the room, his voice echoing across to you.

“I’m going to get lucky on one of these guesses!”

What Ryland Grace was really lucky about was how adorable you found him, and how head over heels you were for him, because his lack of literary knowledge was astounding.

❤︎

“I’m sorry, you’re trying to tell me that aren’t currently fucking the eye candy that is the science teacher in room 305?”

“Evelyn!”

Evelyn Doyle was in her late thirties, married since she was 18, and already had three kids with her high school sweetheart. Since you had transferred into Grover Cleveland Middle, you’d become fast friends and she had become a great mentor.

She had, sadly, caught onto your pathetic crush on Ryland Grace before you had even fully realized it, and was now ‘vicariously living through you’ as she always said.

“There’s not a single child left in this entire school right now,” she shot back, gesturing around her empty classroom, as she finished cleaning up anything her students had left around at the end of the day. You rolled your eyes at her excuse, perched on the edge of her desk. “Please, I’m tenured, what are they going to do?”

“I’m more so yelling at you for butting into my love life, once again,” was your reply through laughter. “Ryland and I are good friends, that’s it.”

It was her turn to laugh, finishing up her cleanup around the room before she joined you at her desk, packing her things away into her shoulder bag.

“Oh please, you keep denying that little crush of yours-”

“I never said I was denying that,” you cut her off. “Lord, you realized I liked him before I even did. But he and I aren’t anything besides friends. I’m not lying.”

Your pleas fell on deaf ears, like they typically did when you were around Evelyn. She simply waved your statement off, tossing her bag over her shoulder as you followed her out of her room and down through the quiet of the school hallway. The quietest the hallway ever was, in the hours right after students were sent home for the day. You’d rather be anywhere else, preferably at home, but these mandatory once-a-month staff meetings were unavoidable.

“Whether you’re telling me the truth or not, you have to understand why everyone thinks so–teachers AND students. I think even some parents think so!” The only response she got was an eyeroll, her shoulder bumping into your’s playfully. “He brings you lunch at least once a week, meaning he rides that dingy bike to get whatever you’re craving that day.”

“It’s usually just something random-”

“Constantly in your classroom, or vice versa,” she cut you off, and you quickly realized you weren’t getting a single word into this conversation. “I’m pretty sure Principal Marshall has considered, somehow, moving your classroom closer to his just so he’ll stop being late to classes because he’s busy talking to you.”

Okay…yeah, you didn’t have a retort for that one. Your classroom was on the opposite end of the school building from Ryland’s own, and yet every time he had even a split second he was somehow always leaning in your doorway. Even if it only resulted in a conversation that lasted all of a minute.

Many times those ended with your students having to remind him that the bell rang and he definitely had students in his own class unattended, waiting on their teacher. More than once he’d slipped as he tried to sprint back to his classroom from yours. It didn’t matter how short those little conversations were, though, because every second around him was precious to you.

“Awe, look at you blushing about it-”

You slapped Evelyn’s hand away, throwing her a look of disdain that didn’t really hold any true malice to it.

“Look, all I’m saying is the ball is in his court,” was the response you finally settled on as Evelyn propped the door of the small auditorium open for you to enter. “Ryland is nothing but friendly to me, so if he’s interested then he’s got to show me.”

“You’re acting as if you’ve made your own feelings clear, honey,”

“No, but I clearly don’t do a good enough job of hiding them,”

Speak of the devil: there he was. Ryland’s head shot up the moment the pair of you walked into the auditorium. Those damn glasses hanging down from one side of his face, framing his stubbled jawline perfectly. A smile lighting up his face the second those blue eyes found yours, gesturing to the empty seat beside him.

A packed auditorium, as you and Evelyn were the last ones there. Every seat up practically filled, and yet Ryland Grace sat among a crowd of people, eyes trained on you and a single seat saved for you amidst it all.

All you could feel was the heat in your cheeks, and the touch of Evelyn patting your back as she laughed, voice low but loud enough to hear as she shifted past you to find a seat of her own.

“Doesn’t have interest in you my ass,”

Her words swam through your head with every apology you muttered to the other teachers as you snuck past them in the cramped rows, happily taking the empty seat beside Ryland.

“You didn’t have to save me a seat, you know,” your voice held a hint of teasing to it, but it was soft. Filled with an adoration that you knew you were terrible at hiding. Luckily, Ryland was terrible at picking up on it.

“Wanted to sit next to you,” he whispered back as Principal Marshall began to drone on about updates neither of you particularly cared about. He leaned in close, a hint of his breath wafting over the shell of your ear as he spoke. “You make these slightly less boring.”

Close proximity to this man was your worst nightmare, and the cramped auditorium wasn’t helping. That single touch of his breath against your skin was enough to send a simultaneous shiver down your spine and another round of heat to your cheeks. His suit jacket covered arm rested on the shared armrest between your seats, the edge of his bicep ghosting against the bare skin of your arm with every little shift he made, tapping incessantly against the armrest.

The slight action made you smile. He never could sit still in these meetings, always hated them.

“Did anything fun happen in class today?” you kept your voice low, eyes trained on the principal, as your head tilted slightly over to Ryland so he could better hear you.

“Uh, if you count Madison telling me that she thinks the sun orbits the earth, then sure,” you had to stifle your laugh at that, casting Ryland a side glance as he grinned at you, doing a terrible job of whispering back at you as usual.

“How could she possibly think that?”

“You’d be surprised,” Ryland leaned just a tad bit closer, the side of his arm pushed up fully against your own. You could almost hear the smile in his voice without even having to look over at him. “The National Science Foundation estimates that 26% of Americans still think the sun orbits the earth.”

“Jesus, that many?”

“Well, 100% of them are stupid, so,”

Nasty looks from other faculty were shot your way that second you choked on your own breath, slapping a hand over your mouth in an attempt to stop yourself from breaking out into uncontrollable laughter. You gave them the most sympathetic look you possibly could, learning how to breathe normally again before mouthing sorry at them all.

Ryland didn’t care in the slightest for the warning look you shot him, a bright smile on his face as his eyes seemed to trail over every inch of your face.

“If you keep doing this in every faculty meeting, they’re going to separate us, Ry,”

“I met Madison’s parents for the first time last month for parent-teacher conferences,” he continued, ignoring your plea. Instead, he leaned in even closer, eyes locked on yours, and god it was impossible to look away. “They are, 100%, undeniably, part of the Flat Earth Truthers Club.”

You shook your head, a smile creeping back up on your lips. Ryland’s gaze could still be felt on the side of your face as you turned back to face the front, eyes focused back on the principal again in an attempt to pay attention to the meeting.

“Flat earthers are ridiculous. They’re just scared of science,”

“Well, you know what they say…the only thing they have to fear is sphere itself,”

There simply wasn’t enough time to clap your hand over your mouth and conceal your laughter, a split second of it breaking through the quiet of the auditorium. And Ryland? His smile was somehow even brighter than it was before, still locked onto your face, never having strayed once.

“Dr. Grace, is there something you feel needs to be shared with the rest of your fellow faculty?”

Principal Marshall’s voice was enough to knock Ryland out of whatever trance he seemed to have put himself in. Eyes wide as if he’d just seen a ghost, hands barely able to catch his glasses as they almost fell right off of his ear where they dangled, a burst of red spread through his cheeks instantly as his deer-like eyes locked onto the unamused principal.

“I-I uh, no. No, nothing, Principal Marshall,” he scratched at the back of his head, ruffling up his already messy hair, a nervous tick you’d picked up since the moment you’d met him. You simply buried your head in your head, eyes trained on your shoes and Ryland out of the corner of your gaze, terrified to look up at your fellow faculty that you’d already apologized to once. “Just getting super jazzed about faculty updates. Hard to keep it in here. I’m like a mushroom, getting all…hyphae…”

A collective groan sounded through the auditorium at the terrible biology pun that rolled off of him with ease. All you could do was smile into the palm of your hand.

“Please just…pay attention to the meeting, Dr. Grace, before I separate you and your other half,”

Other half. That’s not how she meant it, but it was impossible not to let your mind wander to the idea.

Early mornings. Coffee, the smell of eggs and toast burning in the kitchen. Ryland and his hair that was surely even more unkempt that early in the day. The guarantee that he definitely had about 120 science puns ready to go at any moment.

Late nights. Curled up on a couch. A movie, a shared blanket, warm in the embrace of his arms. The quiet of just being with someone that made you happy in ways you’d never felt before. The promise of another day with them on the horizon.

It was becoming increasingly harder not to think about Ryland Grace like that every day, of what a life with the awkward, endearing science teacher could be.

And as Principal Marshall continued her meeting, and your eyes met the blue ones that were already looking at you: soft, kind, a hint of something you couldn’t understand in them, you could only dream he thought the same thoughts when he looked at you.

❤︎

“Alright, who can tell me the day of the first human space flight?”

Not a single middle schooler, packed into the building’s planetarium, raised their hands at first. Many of them started whispering to each other, confused looks on their faces, but Ryland just waited with a smile on his face. A brave soldier from Mr. Harkin’s class, Damien, finally raised his hand.

“Uh, Mr. Grace? Wouldn’t that…be today?”

“Excatly!” Grace’s clap echoed through the room as he pointed toward the young kid sitting in the front row of seats. “International Day of Human Space Flight, commemorating the first human space flight by Yuri Gagarin. It was a trick question, and you passed my tiny friend.”

Were you excited about losing a chunk of your day to escorting your class to the planetarium, along with other classes in the building, for a special science presentation? Absolutely not, especially not with how terribly your class did on their last The Odyssey assignment.

When you found out that Ryland was giving the presentation during your allotted time? Suddenly, The Odyssey meant nothing to you. Not when you could watch Ryland teach, something he did so effortlessly.

The way he captured every single child’s attention with ease. That glowing smile on his face every time they answered a question right, and simply the way he seemed to love what he taught. You were captivated every time you got the chance to see him teaching the thing he loved so much.

“Yuri Gagarin was a Soviet cosmonaut who became the first person in space in 1961 aboard the Vostok 1,” the planetarium was lit up with the night sky, little stars reflecting down. You could almost see them in the students eyes, in their bright smiles as they looked up into the vastness of space. Your eyes trailed to Ryland, already looking at you with a soft smile of his own, before he cleared his throat and moved throughout the room, focusing back on the kids. “Over the course of 89 minutes, his ship traveled to a maximum altitude of 187 miles, as it orbited the Earth.”

“Wait, so we weren’t the first people in space?” one of your students, Lydia, called out. Ryland laughed, pointing over at her.

“No, we kind of sucked,” you rolled your eyes with a grin at Ryland’s statement, though it drew a laugh from all of the kids. “No, America had actually scheduled its first space flight for May 1961, so this was a huge blow to us. It really heated up the space race.”

“He really is good with them, isn’t he?”

Glancing over, Mr. Harkin had saddled up beside you on the edge of the room, head tilted toward you and voice low so as to not disrupt the lesson the kids were being taught. Your gaze drifted back to Ryland as he continued his lesson, eliciting more laughter from the kids. It only brought another soft smile to rest on your lips.

“He is, in a way that I just don’t understand,”

Those blue eyes you’d become so fond of met yours for a moment across the room, face illuminated by the light projecting onto the planetarium’s dome walls. The little grin he wore seemed to drop just slightly, gaze still locked on you but flickering every moment over to Mr. Harkin as he spoke to the students. Harkin’s elbow dug lightly into your side.

“Careful, you’re giving him major ‘heart eyes’ across the room right now,”

You did your best to conceal your laughter, shooting Harkin a look, Ryland’s gaze still felt on the side of your face even as you looked away.

“Why do I feel like I’m about to find out that every teacher in this school has a secret betting ring going on when it comes to Ryland and I?”

“I mean, it’s not a secret. Principal Marshall runs the damn thing,”

“Mr. Grace?” one of the youngest girls in the grade, Aurora, called out, raising her hand up to get Ryland’s attention. “My mom told me the other day that there’s 8 planets in our solar system. What happened to Pluto?”

Ryland went to answer when Mr. Harkin beside you laughed, capturing the attention of everyone in the room, as he shook his head at his young student.

“No, honey, scientists a couple years ago decided that Pluto wasn’t a planet anymore,”

Your eyes flickered to Ryland, who was already staring at Harkin from across the room as he tossed his little crochet earth back and forth in his hand. His response was a bit of a forced laugh.

“Well, your teacher isn’t wrong. Scientists classified Pluto as a dwarf planet a couple years ago,” he explained to the kids, eyes trained on the little crochet sphere in his hands. “But there’s 8 other very important, even closer planets that we should focus on. I mean, who really cares about a tiny, slow planet that takes 248 years to orbit the sun–honestly, he should just accept that he’s slowly falling into obscurity and stop trying to steal the spotlight.”

The room got quiet. Your eyebrow raised slightly, head tilted, as everyone just seemed to stare at Ryland, who had yet to look up.

“Uh, Mr. Grace?” some student in the back called out. “Why did you call Pluto ‘he’? Are the planets boys and girls like us, too?”

Ryland’s head shot up, as if he suddenly remembered he was in a room full of students. His eyes shot to you, his mouth opening, then closing, before he quickly looked away.

“I–well…planets don’t really…I’m not trying to misgender the planets, you know? That’s not for me to decide, that’s for them to–you know what, does anyone else have any other questions that aren’t related to Pluto?”

You really didn’t want to laugh at Ryland, but only he would be able to accidentally turn a lesson about space and planets into almost a lesson on bodily autonomy. He caught your eye, his widening just slightly and you could almost see his cry for help written across his face, but it only made your laughter worse.

It was little Madison that raised her hand next, speaking before she’d even been called upon.

“Are you sure the Earth isn’t the center of the universe?”

Ryland hung his head in shame, the shaking of his head evident from across the room as a few of the kids around laughed at the young girl’s comment. You were quick to shoot them a warning look, not keen to hand out any detentions today.

By the time your gaze turned back to Ryland, he was already looking at you. His gaze flickered to Harkin, then back to you, and it was like a light bulb had just flickered on the way his eyes lit up.

“Yes, Madison, I’m sure the Earth isn’t the center of the universe. And I can show you,” his long legs crossed the room in seconds, his body sliding between you and Mr. Harkin as his hands landed on your shoulders with a tiny little squeeze that sent your heart leaping through your chest. “But to do that, I’m going to need this volunteer that I’m not quite giving a choice.”

“It’s not volunteering if you didn’t ask, Ry!”

You exasperatedly tried to whisper to Ryland as he steered you across the room to stand before all the kids. He only shook his head as a bunch of your own students started cheering for you around the room, only worsening the red that coated your cheeks the second his hands had landed on your body.

“I need you for this,” he shot back hastily, positioning you in the middle of the room, standing in front of you. His body blocked the students from your vision, blue eyes boring down into yours, hands gently squeezing at your upper arms as you begged the blush in your skin to not be too obvious. “You trust me?”

A ridiculous question, because the only answer was yes. You gave him a nod, and Ryland’s smile only widened as he turned back to the kids in the room.

“Alright, kids. Your gorgeous teacher here is the Sun,”

Little oohs and awes sounded from the kids around the room at Ryland’s little slip in of the word ‘gorgeous.’ There was a sting in your bottom lip as you bit into it with your teeth, trying to contain your own smile. Marcus spoke up from across the room without raising his hand, as usual.

“Then what’s Mr. Harkin?”

“Oh, he’s Pluto,” Ryland shot back immediately, nodding his head. “Suits him.”

Laughter rang through the room, the young boys as rambunctious as ever. Ryland met your astonished look with a tiny wink of his own, one that forced a small laugh to tumble from your lips. Then, he began to slowly spin, walking around you in a circle.

“And I am the Earth,” he called out to the kids, and you could only hope he didn’t trip over his own two shoelaces. “The Sun holds 99.8% of the mass in our solar system, which means it’s packing some massive gravity.”

Ryland stopped spinning himself, still moving around you in a circle. He held his hand out toward you, and you slipped yours into it without hesitation, spinning in that circle slowly with him.

“Because the Sun holds such intense gravity, it’s actually pulling Earth into it. But, Earth has such high forward velocity that it actually keeps us moving sideways. Put these two together, and it keeps Earth moving in an almost perfect circle around the sun. Can anyone tell me another fun fact about our movement around the sun?”

The words went in one of your ears and straight out the other. There was no paying attention, not when Ryland’s hand held your own. Soft skin, just slightly rough around the edges, and those blue eyes were so soft, locked onto you as if there was nowhere else he wanted to look.

“Our speed changes!” Olivia called out from somewhere in the back, but you didn’t even try to look and find her. “When we’re closer to the sun in our orbit we move faster, and the further away we are, the slower we move.”

“Very good, Olivia!” Ryland called out, sparing just a quick glance over to the kids in the room as his hand held yours tighter, still spinning slowly together. “Madison, we also know this works because there’s other sun-like stars out there that are also orbited by planets. Like Tau Ceti, which has four Earth-like planets orbiting it.”

“Is the sun important for other things, besides just being the center?”

Ryland’s eyes flickered to you, and you watched as he paused. The slight hesitation on his face, the bobbing of his Adam’s apple for a moment, before those blue eyes locked onto yours and refused to look away.

“I-It is…for a lot of reasons. The Sun is the Earth’s entire reason for existing. The Sun gives the Earth life. The Sun is the reason the world is beautiful,”

Your breath hitched, eyes still trained on Ryland. There was something in his words, something in that earnest, raw look that he had written across his features as he looked at you that added a weight to his words. A weight that sent a tiny chill across your skin, raising the hair on your arms.

“Without the Sun…the Earth would be nothing,”

There was quiet across the room. Then, a couple snickers, followed by Olivia’s smug little voice.

“The Sun sounds beautiful the way you talk about it,”

“She is,” his voice was lower, softer than it was before. Until, he seemed to realize what he said, the red on both of your faces spreading further than before as his eyes shot wide. “THE SUN I mean! I-I’m talking about the sun, obviously, b-because this is a science presentation!”

Laughter rang through the room, little chants of your names mashed together coming from some of the kids as the bell rang and saved either of you from further embarrassment.

Ryland, being Ryland, chose that moment to finally trip over his own two feet. You pulled on his hand as hard as you could, saving him from plummeting to the ground as he instead just landed on his one knee.

“Make good choices,” Ryland commented lowly as some of the kids walked past the two of you, still snickering and giggling to themselves. You let go of his hands finally, simply resting it on his shoulder with a gentle squeeze. “Don’t uh, I don’t know, blow up the world during lunch or anything. Or pop those chip bags and give kids heart attacks, whatever you kids do these days.”

You laughed, stepping around Ryland as your kids lined up outside of the room, waiting for you. He shot you a sheepish smile from the floor, and your skin still burned with heat at the memory of his words as you looked at him.

“Every time I think you’re doing well with those kids, they manage to knock you down a peg,”

“Yeah, well, what’s new?”

When you met your class outside, you didn’t let them get a word in before you warned them not to say anything. You could still hear little comments talking about ‘shipping’ their English and Science teachers the entire way back to your classroom.

❤︎

Ryland Grace didn’t understand how he had ended up here.

Well, he did. Calling the leading scholar in his field a “staggering waste of carbon” at a UNESCO conference in Denmark was an easy way to get blacklisted from the field he’d studied in for many years in college. It was an easy explanation for how he ended up teaching middle school science at Grover Cleveland Middle in San Francisco.

Not that he had a problem with teaching! He actually loved it. Loved his kids, loved talking about science. He loved teaching the future little scientists of the world about why every facet of science was awesome. The pay wasn’t great, though.

Especially when it was the reason he rode a bike to school daily.

And there was currently the equivalent of a monsoon raining down from the sky onto the pavement, the reason he’d been standing at the front doors for the last 20 minutes hoping that the rain would simply let up. The heavens didn’t take pity on him, though, and it only rained harder and harder. His rain coat and bike were not meant to withstand heavy rain and damaging winds to this extent. 

Best cast scenario? It takes him a little longer to get home on his usual 20 minute bike ride than normal. Worst case? He crashes and dies, dead in a ditch covered in mud.

“Ryland, please tell me you aren’t thinking of riding your bike home in this?”

Then there was you. You were probably the single greatest reason why he loved teaching at Grover Cleveland Middle. If he ever had the unfortunate chance to meet that scientist from the conference again, he’d thank him this time for being a staggering waste of carbon, because it led him down a path to you.

“I can’t be that bad,” he tried to joke, waving you off as a crack of thunder seemed to shake the entire building, and his fake confidence faltered for a second. He glanced back at you, coat wrapped around your bag instead of yourself in order to keep its contents dry. “Just, you know…the slight threat of bodily harm.”

He really wished the path that led to you was less bumpy and full of himself looking like an idiot, but at this rate he’d take what he could get from the universe.

“Yeah, absolutely not,” was your immediate reply, head shaking as she fished your car keys out of the bag still covered with your coat. “I’m giving you a ride home, can’t risk the best science teacher’s life over a dumb storm.”

Ryland immediately shook his head, turning to face you beside him. He was not letting you risk your own life in the storm for him. If it really came down to it, he’d sleep at his desk. There was a change of clothes he kept in the bottom drawer, it wasn’t the first time he’d had to do it.

“I can’t let you-”

“This isn’t up for discussion,” Ryland snapped his mouth shut as you cut in once again, dangling your car keys up in front of him with a little shake. “I…care about you, okay? I want to know you are home safe.”

There was no stopping the immediate heat that filled Ryland’s cheeks, and he knew it. There was red blooming across your own, but Ryland shook all wishful thinking from his mind. The AC unit in this school was unreliable, you were definitely just flushed from the heat. No other reason.

Ryland decided he wasn’t going to put up a fight at this point, but he wasn’t going to let you do this without anything in return. He shrugged the yellow raincoat hanging over his own shoulders off as he kicked the glass door in front of him open, the muffle sounds of the torrential downpour now louder as droplets of water splashed into the front door. He held the jacket out, hanging it above your head to protect you from the rain.

“At least let me save you from getting drenched,”

“You’re going to look like a dog that just had a bath by the time we reach my car,” Ryland only smiled at your joke, and the little giggle that fell through your lips. The close proximity didn’t help as he held the jacket up around you.

“Actually, it’s not windy today,” he shot back with a grin, nodding out the propped open door into the rain. “That means if we run, I’ll be drier than if we walked, because the rain that’s hitting us from above is proportional to time. Though, the rain hitting us from the front is proportional to distance, and when running-”

“Ryland Grace, you are adorable when you get all science-nerd, but if we’re going to run…we should run,”

Ryland was thankful that you couldn’t see the renewed heat flooding his cheeks, as you were both too busy sprinting through the torrential downpour to the staff parking lot.

Being a gentleman (who was head over heels in love with you and too terrified to say a damn thing) was thrown out the window with how fast you were booking it to your car, the idea of shielding you from the rain with his jacket abandoned after just a moment booking it across the lot. He could feel the coolness of the water settling against his skin as it soaked through every layer of clothing he had, every few seconds having to furiously wipe at his glasses in hopes of seeing through them.

None of it really mattered in the end, not when he heard your laugh. The little shrieks of laughter as a particularly big drop happened to fall right in your eyes. Or the laughter as Ryland managed–in his signature fashion–to slip on the final step into the parking lot, and you had to double back in laughter to help haul him to his feet.

He’s spring clumsily through the rain a thousand more times if he got to see you smile like that. And that is why his kids always told him that he was definitely ‘whipped’ for you. Whatever that meant.

The second you had both jumped into your respective seats of your vehicle, doors slamming shut, there was only a moment of silence between the both of you. Ryland felt like his chest was going to explode, remembering why he always hated gym class, his heavy breathing mixed with yours as you both caught your breath, before you locked eyes over the center console.

Then the laughter resumed.

He held his hand to his stomach, feeling an ache settling in as he couldn’t stop his own laughter. Your’s grew slightly louder in his ear as you leaned over, trying to help him wipe at his glasses that were still covered.

“I was right, you look like a wet dog,”

Ryland’s only response was to shake his soaking wet hair like one, a simple reaction that earned yet another shriek of laughter from you and a light slap to his shoulder. You muttered something unintelligible under your breath, but Ryland found himself unable to tear his gaze away from your lips as you started the car and began to pull out of the staff lot. How soft they looked, the way the little beads of water running down your cheeks fell over them.

Whipped. He still didn’t get it, but he agreed wholeheartedly with his kids at this point.

There was no driving fast in this rain, especially when the windshield wipers were moving at their highest programmed speed and it still wasn’t enough. It was quiet in the car for just a moment as you pulled out of the parking lot, but Ryland broke it the second your phone had connected to the car’s bluetooth, music filling the space between him and you.

Fly me to the moon, let me play among the stars. Let me see what spring is like on Jupiter and Mars.

“Frank Sinatra,” Ryland couldn’t help the growing smile on his lips as the familiar song flooded through the car speakers. He kept his eyes trained on the side of your face, watching the little smile grow on your own lips, eyes focused on the road conditions in front of you. “Old books and old music. Didn’t know you had such an old soul.”

“You calling me old, Ryland?”

“N-no!” Ryland immediately back track, hands flying up and shaking back and forth as his eyes went wide. “I might say some stupid stuff some–okay, most of the time–but I know better than to comment on a woman’s age.”

“I’m just teasing you,” he could thankfully hear the sincerity mixed in with the teasing lit to your voice. “But yes, I do enjoy some old music. Always been a big fan of Sinatra, especially this one.”

“It’s a nice song…just not scientifically accurate,” he caught the side eye that you threw his way for just a moment, another crack of thunder banging across the sky and almost shaking the car. Ryland couldn’t help but jump slightly. “Jupiter only has a 3.13° tilt to its axis, so it doesn’t experience seasons like we do. Mar’s would, though, because its axis is tilted at 25°, only 1.5° more than our own tilt…”

Ryland trailed off as the car rolled to a stop at a red light, and he caught you fully facing him this time with a bemused expression written across your face. His smile dropped just slightly as he let out a sheepish laugh, adjusting his glasses as they slid back down the wet bridge of his nose.

“...I went full science-nerd again, didn’t I?”

Your laughter drowned out the rain beating against the roof of the car as your attention returned to the road once more.

“You always do, but I happen to enjoy it very much,”

If only teaching paid more, because the commute to Ryland’s apartment was a lot shorter than his bike ride home every day from work. 

Parked in an open space across the road from the dimly lit apartment building, Ryland Grace hesitated with his hand on the handle of the door. His eyes swept out over the area around the vehicle, still being hounded with rain. The top of his road looked like the beginning of a river, the way the water was rushing down the small incline to pool at the bottom.

“Thanks…for this,” he gestured toward the weather right outside the card.

You moved to respond to him, when the weather alert on your phone propped up on your dashboard sounded out. Ryland could just barely make out the headline: FLASH FLOOD WARNING.

The roads were far too dangerous, and Ryland already knew from various conversations that you lived on the opposite end of town from him.

He…could ask you to stay for the night. Just for safety reasons, obviously! He was quickly trying to work through the pros and cons list in his head.

Pros: his only friend that just so happened to be the woman he’s been head over heels in love with for the last year would be safe and not driving in this storm.

Cons: his only friend that just so happened to be the woman he’s been head over heels in love with for the last year would be inside his tiny little apartment that looked like it had been hit by a separate hurricane than the one it felt like they were currently suffering through.

“I should probably get home-”

“Stay,” Ryland cut in, quickly continuing his words after his vague statement. “I-It’s just, the roads are bad, and you live on the other side of town. This storm is just going to get worse, and I-I’d hate to know something happened to you.”

You hesitated, he could tell, shaking your head.

“Ryland, I couldn’t ask you to let me stay,”

He hesitated himself for a moment, every feeling he’d kept bottled up for a year now threatening to escape past his lips. Instead, he settled on echoing your own words.

“I…I care about you. I want to know you’re safe,”

Moments later, he had his rain coat draped over your head as he rushed you inside his apartment to shelter from the storm.

Ryland’s hands shook the entire time as he put his key into his front door’s lock. The last time he had guests over…was never. His apartment was built and designed for him and his brain, scattered with notes and books and piles of arts and crafts that he worked on in order to decorate his classroom. It was not meant for visitors, especially not ones as pretty as you.

“Don’t, uh, mind the mess,” he mumbled, holding the door open and motioning after you, allowing you to take a step inside his apartment as he let out the small breath he didn’t realize he was holding.

Chucking off his sneakers, little puddles of water forming below them on the ground, his jacket found its way into a pile with them. Ryland wiped his hands nervously against the thighs of his jeans, the action doing nothing against the soaking went material, as he watched you take in his apartment.

The apartment that looked like it had been ransacked, at least partially. Stacks of books relating to a thousand different topics were stacked on the ground by the tv stand, on top of the coffee table along with the coffee cup he’d abandoned there early in the morning in a haste to get to the school, and and by his desk that had a stack of papers scattered around it after her strewn them about in order to find one specific slip of paper at 11 p.m.

It was a mess, and Ryland regretted everything.

“It’s not messy, it’s homey,” your reply sent a burst of heat through his skin as you turned to him with a bright smile, leaving your own bag and coat by his pile of wet items before gesturing to your own soaking wet clothing. “Do you maybe have something a little less…wet?”

He scurried away into his bedroom, trying to ignore that little section of his brain that took your comment in a MUCH different way.

His bedroom was worse. Ryland wasn’t letting you sleep on the couch, but he surely wasn’t letting you see his room in a state like this.

Clothing was thrown across the room and Ryland quickly ran about, shoving piles of clothing away into corners where he was certain you wouldn’t be able to see any of it. Throwing it into his closet and slamming the door before it could fall out, pushing it down in his laundry basket, kicking it under his bed so it was out of sight and out of mind, whatever he could think of.

“Great idea, Ryland,” he muttered to himself, pulling on a dry pair of sweatpants and a tshirt for himself, trying to shake the remaining water out of his hair as he rummaged for something you could wear. “Almost get the woman you’re in love with killed by letting her drive you home in a monsoon. Invite her to stay the night in your apartment that makes you look like an even bigger loser than you are. Amazing idea. A doctorate in molecular biology and this is the best you can do.”

You were waiting by the couch in his living room, just glancing around at everything with a smile, when he reappeared. Sheepishly, he handed the folded clothing over to you, hand running through his soaking wet hair as he pointed down the hall.

“You can take my bed for the night. Uh, just leave your clothes in the bathroom, I can throw them in the dryer in a bit. I can scrounge up something to eat in the meantime,”

“Thanks, Ry,” your hand reached out, squeezing his upper arm lightly, and he felt the heat in his skin instantly bloom under your touch. “For all of this.”

If it wasn’t for the giant crack of thunder that flickered the lights of the building for a moment and made Ryland jump out of his skin, he would’ve forgotten how to breathe again.

He rummaged through every part of his kitchen, desperately trying to find something that he could make the two of you to eat that also wouldn’t make him seem pathetic. All he could come up with…was a loaf of bread, a jar of peanut butter, and a jar of jelly.

Yesterday. He’d stayed late after the end of the day to help in tutoring. He forgot to go grocery shopping. Ryland let out a sigh at his realization, back to his fridge door and head banging back against the stainless steel, hand running down his face and dragging against his skin as his glasses were knocked off, hanging off of one ear.

“Great,” he muttered into his palm. “Just absolutely freaking great, Ryland.”

Ryland Grace desperately wished he had the guts, the bravery, to just simply tell you how he felt.

From the moment he met you, when you had arrived for your first day at Grover Cleveland Middle, he was a goner. It had been a long time since he’d had a partner, his last one certain that he was too busy with his head in the clouds to pay attention to her, and she wasn’t wrong. But from the moment he looked at you, waving and smiling as you introduced yourself to all of the teachers that had gathered to welcome you, you were suddenly the only thing his brain wanted to focus on.

He had been so focused on you, too busy admiring every inch of you in silence, that in his typical clumsy fashion he tripped over his own two feet and knocked Principal Marshall’s papers out of her hand, spreading them five feet across the floor. But you’d joined him on the ground, laughing lightly to yourself, as you helped him clean up the papers, and Ryland knew he was a goner for you.

It only continued every single day, getting worse, and you somehow became his friend. His only friend, if he was being quite frank. So he tried to hide the way he really felt, too scared to mess anything up. He’d rather have you in his life in any way he could, then mess this up and lose you forever.

Keeping those feelings in was getting increasingly harder in the last few months. Which explained why he’d traveled cross town just to get lunch from your favorite place, or compare you to the sun and basically called you his entire reasoning for living in front of a bunch of children-

Either Ryland was going to blurt it out at some point, or he was taking these feelings to the grave with him.

“Peanut butter and jelly? Sounds like we’re eating like royalty tonight,”

He shouldn’t have looked over at you. He really, really shouldn’t have. Leaning against the opposite wall of the kitchen, hair still damp and dripping onto the cheesy “I had potential” shirt he’d been gifted by one of his students the following year. Sweatpants that were bunched up around your ankles so that you didn’t trip over the length, waist tied in as tightly as possible so they didn’t just slide right off your hips.

Ryland Grace had never thought it possible that you could look more gorgeous than you did every day, but he stood corrected. He felt more in love than he ever had just looking at you right in this moment.

“Sorry, I don’t exactly…live a life of luxury,” Ryland awkwardly laughed as he spoke, pulling out two sad paper plates from the cabinet next to him and flashing them in your direction, shaking them lightly in the air. “Hope this doesn’t ruin my perfectly curated image.”

His eyes followed you as you brushed past him, humming to yourself with a little grin. You fumbled through every drawer in the kitchen, looking for something, when Ryland quickly popped open the one right next to him, showcasing his small selection of utensils. You flashed another heart-stopping grin at him before digging out two knives from the drawer.

“That image cracked a long time ago, Ry. Like that time you let Marcus perform some chemical reaction and got the fire department called to the school,”

The tall blonde groaned to himself, rubbing at his temple as you pushed past him to throw some of the bread down onto the plates and crack open the jars of peanut butter and jelly set out.

“That was one time!” he tried to defend himself, saddling up beside you as you passed him one of the knives. He almost completely missed the opening of the peanut butter jar, eyes too transfixed on the sight of you in his clothing. It was still up in the air if his heart was actually working correctly yet. “I learned my lesson very quickly not to let him handle any more chemicals.”

“Don’t worry. I made the mistake of doing popcorn reading when we were working on The Outsiders. Marcus seemed to end up with every single instance of profanity in the book, which he would yell at the top of his lungs,”

Ryland snapped his fingers, glancing down at you at his side with a teasing smile.

“You know what? That explains that really loud ‘HELL’ I heard across the school a couple months ago. I was so sure that it was going to shatter the windows of my classroom,”

“Oh, shut up! It wasn’t that bad!”

Your laughter permeated the air, elbow digging into his side as you spoke. And when your eyes locked with his, and Ryland got the perfect look at every square inch of your face, he could see it so clearly in his head.

Mornings just like this, where you’d both struggle to get out of the warmth of the blankets. The way he would surely annoy you with his very disorganized morning routine, but he’d make up for it with coffee already set out for you, just as you liked it. The lingering moments by the door, too wrapped up in each other because you didn’t want to leave the peace of this space, even though you were going to the same place.

Late nights, curled together on the couch with some movie playing on TV that neither of you were particularly paying attention to. Whispered words, laughter shared. Kisses that lingered, hands that trailed-

Thunder broke Ryland from his spell, thoughts gone in a flash. He was back in his dingy kitchen, with you just inches away, staring up at him as the picture of true beauty.

“T-This is nice,” he cleared his throat, turning back to his sandwich as he spread his toppings along the bread, heat blooming across his cheeks again. It always did around you. “Making dinner with someone…no matter how sad the dinner is. I haven’t done this in awhile.”

“Right,” your voice responded after a momentary pause. “Sarah, wasn’t it? You were dating her when we first met. What, uh…what ever happened to her?”

“Oh, we broke up a long time ago,” Ryland waved the comment off, shaking his head. “She just, uh, thought my head was too far in the clouds. Didn’t think I wanted to be down here on Earth. She wasn’t wrong. It was for the best, though. She hated…all of this. The rundown apartment, the lack of a car, my love of science. She just never understood it. I was just…too much for her. But she’s with Mark now, so I’m sure she’s happy.”

Ryland chose not to mention that his last relationship had been dead long before it officially ended, the pair not having seen each other in well over a month by that point. If his math was right, which it usually was, Sarah had started dating Mark before she’d even broken it off with him.

He also failed to mention the relief he felt inside when she had called it off, knowing his heart had belonged to you the moment your eyes had locked with his.

Fingertips just barely ghosted over Ryland’s cheek, and he froze in place. Eyes trained on the plate in front of him, he could feel the way your hand curled around his cheek. The way your thumb glossed over his skin, back and forth, and the way your other fingers barely grazed over the shell of his ear. He couldn’t help the way he instantly leaned into the touch, a touch he hadn’t felt in so long.

Ryland turned his head, still resting in the palm of your own, to look you in the eyes. You gave him the softest smile, hand trailing across his cheek and ghosting over his jawline. His eyes watched it move, the way your fingers gently curled around the frame of his glasses dangling precariously from his face, and placed them gingerly back where they belonged, resting on the bridge of his nose.

His breath caught, your body so close to his, as your hand trailed back down and rested on his chest for just a moment, your own gaze flickering to its resting spot while his gaze stayed on your face.

“You are never, and will never be, too much, Ryland. Not for the right person. They’ll love every part of you. The clumsy parts, the nerdy parts, every part that makes you…you,”

The Sun. That’s what you were to Ryland Grace. He meant every word he had said in that planetarium that day, driven by the rare jealousy of seeing Harkin that close to you. 

The Sun was the reason Earth had life. Without the Sun…the Earth would be nothing.

Without you…well, Ryland Grace had accepted long ago that he didn’t understand what it was like to truly live until he’d met you.

Your eyes flickered for just a second, and Ryland took in an audible breath, swearing they settled on his lips for just a second. The apartment was quiet, except for the hum of the fridge and the pattering of the rain against the living room windows.

The moment shattered with yet another terribly timed clap of thunder, your body jolting away from his, focus turned back to the counter in front of you, face hidden from his wide eyes.

“Y-you know…I can’t tell you the last time I had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich,”

Ryland shook his head, smiling slightly to himself at the little stutter in your own words, turning back to finishing his own food as well. But the moment still lingered in his head, the heat that bloomed from where your skin touched him still lingering.

“Since peanut butter is banned in school for allergies, probably awhile,”

“I almost forgot that rule a couple weeks ago and almost packed peanut butter crackers,” you joked back, before Ryland heard you snap your fingers. “Oh! Speaking of work, did you put yourself down to volunteer for the school dance next week?”

Sandwiches finished off, Ryland packed the ingredients away and stashed them back in their appropriate spots, laughing awkwardly to himself.

“Hah, uh, no I didn’t. I chaperoned last year and kind of left covered in punch, became the kids’ favorite ‘meme’ for a week afterward since one of them got a picture of it,”

He turned back to you. Leaning against the island counter, holding your sad little sandwich in your hands, face still lit up red as you smiled toward him.

“I think so far it's me, Doyle, and Harki, plus Principal Marshal and I think Katie and Dawson from the front office. We could really use another teacher,” he swore the fluttering of your lashes was on purpose just to kill him and his resolve. “Sign-up? For me?”

Well, there was no universe in existence where Ryland said no to a request like that.

Rejoining you at the counter, he held his own sandwich in his hand, reaching out and tapping it against yours as if you were sharing a toast.

“For you? Totally,”

Even as you both took a bite of your sandwiches, eyes still locked together, Ryland felt as if something had shifted in the air. Your eyes were still as kind, your smile still bright, but it felt like there was a new weight to your gaze as you looked at him.

And he swore–and hoped–for just a split second, that your eyes had just flickered down to his lips again.

❤︎

The student council had outdone themselves with this end of the year dance.

As you stepped through the main doors of Grover Cleveland Middle’s building, the smile on your face grew immediately at the sight before you. The walls were lined with little fairy lights, little styrofoam planets hanging down from the ceiling at various lengths, glow in the dark stars right around them and glowing. Silver streamers hung around the fairy lights, with the check in desk decorated with tons and foam and lights behind them to look like twinkling lights in the clouds.

“A space theme?” you called out as the two kids in front of you ducked away from the registration desk. Evelyn Doyle finally looked up from the sign-in sheet, grin growing as she took in the sight of you and rounded the desk. “I hadn’t heard anything from the student council on the theme, but they did well.”

“Nevermind the theme, you’re finally here!” you laughed as you threw her arms around you, reciprocating the hug, before her hands landed on your shoulders in order to get a good look at you, eyes trailing you up and down. “And look at this dress, oh my god!”

The deep yellow dress fell right around your knees, the fabric light and airy as it swooshed through the air with every move you made. Buttons lined the front down to the tie around your waist, leaving just enough room for the little gold necklace resting against your collarbone. You thanked yourself for choosing a short sleeve option, already feeling the heat in the building from how many kids were all packed in and dancing together.

“Thank you,” was the sheepish reply you gave your friend as she let you go. “I’m sorry I’m late, I caught one of my student’s parents in the parking lot and they turned it into a mini parent-teacher conference, sadly.”

“Not a problem,” she waved the comment off, gesturing toward the doors of the gym just off to the left of you both. “Just get on in there, have some fun, and keep those slow dancers at least 12 inches apart at all times.”

If the hallways were gorgeous, the inside of the gym shone even brighter. Bathed in blue and purple, even more little lights twinkled around the room, hung off the walls, the ceilings, and on every surface they could possibly find. Moon and star decals, made by the art students, hung off the walls and from the ceiling, almost glowing under the lights.

Your eyes trailed over all of your children, scattered throughout the room, already having been dancing for at least thirty minutes. The smile on your face grew as you watched each one of them, gathered with their friends as they danced together in groups, or even stood off to the sides and just observed from beyond the dimly lit dance floor.

Mr. Harkin had been stationed at the punch table, and you could hear him from across the room warning these middle schoolers not to try and spike the punch. You could only giggle to yourself, shaking your head at his antics, before your eyes swept over the crowd once more-

The music seemed to stop in your ears, breath hitching, the second you laid eyes on him across the room. Ryland Grace.

He wasn’t in anything fancy. A nice pair of jeans, the worn pair of black dress shoes you’d seen by his apartment door that night. A dark green shirt was tucked into his jeans, adorned with a worn, navy blue suit jacket overtop, and those same glasses almost falling off the bridge of his nose as he spoke animatedly to Olivia.

Ryland looked good. Too good, in your eyes.

For just a second, he looked up, and his eyes happened to meet yours across the room. You thought for sure you’d forgotten how to breathe.

Whatever had happened that night, in the silence of his apartment with only the beating of the rain against the windows and the roof as a witness, had shifted something. From the moment your fingertips had ghosted along his skin, your hand had rested against his chest, and you’d been close enough to see the specs that danced in those ocean blue eyes of his up close, nothing had been the same.

Like the little bubble you had been existing in with your harbored crushed had finally popped. Like a toe had dipped just slightly over a line, and there was no going back from then on.

You always blushed around your friend, every time he’d manage to fumble his way through a comment that borderlined on a kind-of-not-just-friendly compliment. But since that day just a week or so ago, every time he has been within a few feet of you, your face lit up like a hot summer’s day.

Moments where he’d find a second to linger in your classroom door, held a new weight to them. Sharing lunch together, fingers just barely brushing for a second as you both reached for your food, to moments when you’d simply be walking together down hallways, back of hands brushing along each other’s but no one making any moves to stop it from happening.

Something was different, and you weren’t sure you wanted to go back to how things were before. Not after touching his skin, or existing in his orbit like that. Not when you’d seen the side of him beyond these school walls.

You were in love with Ryland Grace. You had been for a long time. And, finally, you were done trying to pretend that there wasn’t at least a small chance that he felt the same.

“I need your help,”

The heated staring contest between you two was broken by the sound to your right. You turned, just to see Marcus standing directly beside you and reaching up to pull on the sleeve of your dress. His hands wrung together, foot tapping incessantly on the ground, and you immediately knelt down in front of him to get a better look at his face that he was trying to hide from you.

“Marcus? Honey, what’s wrong?” you asked gently, hands coming to rest on his arms as you tried to get him to look at you.

“I…I like Olivia,”

Oh. It was one of those problems. The anxiety you felt in that moment finally washed away, an easy smile falling to your lips as you took a quick glance over in Ryland and Olivia’s direction, the former’s eyes still locked onto you from across the room.

“I did hear a rumor about that. Olivia is a great girl,”

“She is,” he said quickly, finally looking at you. His nerves were basically written across his face. “I-I’ve been really mean to her. I didn’t mean to be.”

“I know, honey. Sometimes feelings can be confusing,” you stood up, hands on your hips as you looked down at him with a smile. “Do you want to dance with her?”

“I do,”

You held your hand out toward him with a smile.

“Then why don’t we start by going and apologizing to her?”

With Marcus’s hand in yours, you confidently led him across the room, eyes locked back onto Ryland’s as you approached. He stood with Olivia at his side, who was talking his ear off, a dopey looking grin on his face as he nodded to whatever she said as he continued to watch as you approached him.

“Dr. Grace, I’m sorry to interrupt you and Olivia,” you announced yourself to the pair with a grin of your own, hands on Marcus’s shoulders and you lightly pushed him forward. “But Olivia, there’s something that Marcus here wants to say to you.”

The young boy shuffled awkwardly forward, hands wringing together again as he stood in front of his crush.

“I, uh, I wanted to say I was sorry. For being really mean to you. I didn’t mean it,”

Olivia’s eyes went wide, as she too shuffled uncomfortably for a second. Ryland saddled up to your side, the pair of you sharing a glance as you watched the interaction happen right before your eyes. His hand graced over yours lightly, and it took everything in you not to reach out and lock your fingers with his.

“Oh! It’s, um, it’s okay. Thank you,”

“Say, Marcus?” Ryland called out to them both, catching the boy’s eye and gesturing toward Olivia with a wink. “What do you think of Olivia’s dress?”

“I…I think she looks really beautiful,”

That comment finally seemed to catch Olivia off guard, her eyes wide in shock as she giggled nervously.

“Oh! I…thank you, Marcus. You look really nice too,”

“Thank you,” his posture seemed to straighten out at Olivia’s reaction, like seeing her accept his compliment gave him the confidence he needed. “Do you want to dance with me?”

Olivia shot you and Ryland a look, and you both immediately gave her a thumbs up. Then, your happy eyes could only watch the two pre-teens awkwardly shuffle away together to the dance floor, not daring to meet the eyes of the other.

“Look at us, playing matchmaker for middle schoolers,”

“I think they did that for themselves, we just helped,” you laughed, turning your head. The laughter died on your lips the second your eyes met with Ryland’s, voice low and breathy as you whispered to him through your smile. “Hi.”

“Hi,” he whispered back just as breathily. His hand came up to the back of his head, running through his hair for a moment, and you could see the red and pink hues that lit up his cheeks. “I got worried when I didn’t see you. I was ready to call you.”

“You could’ve,”

“I’ll remember for next time,” he shot back, hands finding their way to rest in the front pockets of his jeans. His eyes moved back over the crowd, finding your two young students once more. “I’m proud of him for that. That…must have taken a lot of guts to do.”

You followed his gaze, landing on the pair as they danced together, laughing and talking like old friends.

“Like you said before, it can be hard for boys to express their feelings. All he needed was to pull up his big boy pants and ask her,”

Ryland laughed beside you.

“Yeah…I should probably follow in his footsteps,”

You glanced back to him, seeing him already watching you. A single eyebrow raised toward him quizzically, even though your heart felt like it was ready to beat directly out of your chest.

Ryland’s mouth opened, then closed, then opened again, as if he were trying to force out words that he couldn’t quite seem to get right. You didn’t even realize you were holding your breath, hoping inside that whatever he wanted to say would address the weight that seemed to be hanging between your gazes.

“Stay here,”

There wasn’t even time for you to respond before the tall blonde rushed away, almost tripping as he dashed over to the DJ booth across the way from the makeshift dance floor. He whispered something to the DJ, and you could see the thumbs up he got in return, before he rushed back over to you, panting slightly.

“Ryland?” you questioned softly, the man who held your entire heart without knowing it standing just a foot in front of you with a nervous grin on his face. “What did you just do?”

As if on cue, the song changed, and familiar lyrics floated through the room, bouncing off the walls.

Fly me to the moon, let me play among the stars. Let me see what spring is like on Jupiter and Mars

“I’m pulling up my big boy pants,” he responded with a nervous laugh, his hand outstretched toward you. “And asking you to dance with me.”

Nothing else existed the second that you slid your hand into Ryland Grace’s without hesitation, letting him pull you in. You weren’t in the school, not in a room decorated for a middle school dance, and certainly not surrounded by middle schoolers and a bunch of faculty that had placed bets on you both.

It was just you and Ryland Grace. That’s all you wanted it to be.

Your arms found a place to rest around his shoulders, fingertips just barely brushing past the strands of hair that tickled the back of his neck. There was a fluttering in your chest the second that his hands made their way to your waist, curling around the divet just above your hip bone, pulling you into him just by another inch.

In other words, hold my hand. In other words, darling, kiss me. Fill my life with song, and let me sing for ever more.

"I didn't tell you yet…,” his voice was soft, words whispered just between the two of you in a crowded room. “But you look beautiful,"

"You don't have to flatter me, Ryland,"

"No, really, you look-"

"Like a banana in this yellow dress?"

He paused. His tongue poked out, running along his bottom lip, and you could see the nervous bob of his Adam’s apple before he spoke again.

"...like the sun,"

You are all I long for, all I worship and adore.

Oh. That fluttering in your chest was back, and suddenly, you weren’t at a middle school dance anymore. You were back in that planetarium, spinning in circles. And this time, there were no doubts in your mind. You were the Sun, and he was the Earth. And what was the Earth, without its Sun?

"Ryland-"

"I wasn't lying,"

You cocked your head.

"...about what?"

"That I knew Homer wrote The Odyssey,"

That drew a short laugh from you, but you could still see the nerves that were laced through Ryland’s smile.

"Right, you were just distracted,"

"I was. By you. I'm always distracted by you,"

In other words, please be true. In other words, I love you.

You took a deep breath. He’d crossed the line for you, thrown himself onto the other side, and was waiting for you with open arms. It was just a leap of faith.

“I’m always distracted by you, too. Since the day we met,”

The song faded away, melting into the next. There could’ve been eyes on you both, either from students or from faculty, but nothing would break either of your gazes away from the other.

Ryland took a quick look around the room, before his hands took hold of your own, bringing them down between you both. He gave you a grin, one filled with more happiness than you had ever seen–and you knew your own matched his perfectly–before he tugged you toward the doors of the gym.

“Come with me,”

“Ry, we’re supposed to be chaperoning!”

“I don’t see Principal Marshall anywhere. What’s the worst she could do, fire us?”

“Quite literally, yes!” you shot back with a laugh.

Ryland only shrugged his shoulders, tugging you again, and you didn’t even try to fight back. Your feet simply moved with him.

“Worth it,”

Hands clasped together, fingers intertwined, your laughter echoed off the walls of the empty hallways as Ryland Grace ran you down them, a destination clear in his mind. Every few seconds he’d look back, just smiling at you as his eyes trailed over every single inch of you, before you’d yell at him to look at his own feet before you’d both be sprawled across the linoleum floors.

The door to his classroom was open as you flew inside, hand slipping from his as you caught yourself on the projector cart sitting in the middle of the room. Spinning on your heel, you caught his eye just as he shut the classroom door behind him, and the silence enveloped you both once more. Finally alone, no prying eyes to watch.

The momentarily confidence that seemed to seize hold of Ryland dissipated in that moment. He wiped his hands against the front of his jeans, chuckling awkwardly as he took a few steps toward you.

“What was your plan here, Dr. Grace?” you teased, taking a couple steps toward him as well, too high on the feeling of everything you’d just finally realized. High on the feeling of finally not denying what your heart knew long ago: you and Ryland Grace were never just friends.

“I’m not going to lie,” he shot back, coming to a stop just in front of you, barely an inch or two separating you. “I hadn’t thought this far ahead.”

“Then stop thinking,”

No one had leaned in first. It had been both of you, as if drawn together like two magnets, as your lips finally found one another's.

Goosebumps rose across your skin as Ryland Grace’s mouth moved against yours with an ease that shouldn’t exist between two people that have never kissed before. It was like a perfect dance between two partners that knew each other better than anything.

Your lips never left his, moving against his as if you couldn’t believe you had deprived yourself of this for so long, as your hands wound around his shoulders. Fingers curled into his hair, finally carding themselves through the blonde strands that felt so soft between your fingers.

The slightest little moan, enough to send heat coursing through your body the second you heard it, slipping from Ryland’s mouth into your own. His hands grasped at your hips, winding around your back to press into your lower back and tug you as close as humanly possible, as if he was a starved man that craved to touch you in any way that he could.

His lips were soft, a feeling that you knew you were going to crave for the rest of your life now that you’d had a single taste of them. You pressed further into him, a small mewl tumbling from your own lips and swallowed by his mouth as you pressed every inch of yourself into him, desperate to hang onto the moment in case the world would be cruel and wake you from this dream moments later.

The need to breathe was what finally separated you, but not far. Ryland’s forehead pressed to yours, his breath fanning out across your skin. His hands still gripped at your hips, holding him to you, as yours stayed carded through his hair, nails gently scraping at his scalp as you chest heaved as it tried to level your breathing back to normal.

“If I haven’t made it clear already, you’re my best friend,” his words were breathy, accented by the way he was still trying to catch his breath. But his smile was bright, his eyes almost shining, as he looked down at you. “And I’m completely in love with you. Literally, since the moment we met.”

You laughed, trapped in this little bubble with him, as your hands slid from his hair to instead cup his cheeks. The tip of your nose just barely brushed against his, and he bumped his right back against yours without hesitation.

“I’m completely in love with you too, Ryland Grace. Since the moment you tripped over your own two feet,”

The sound of your laughter filled the empty, dark science classroom again as Ryland’s hands came to scoop you up around your thighs, spinning you in relentless circles. All you could do was hang onto his broad shoulders and smile, his lips peppering a thousand kisses to every inch of skin he could possibly reach.

The Earth needed the Sun, like how Ryland said he needed you. The person that makes it all worth it, that makes the days brighter, that makes this short little life worth it.

But you didn’t get an answer. Sticking out your tongue, you set the phone down as you flopped back onto the bed. There weren't a lot of people who had your number, and the ones that do won’t give it away.

Rubbing your face, you thought back but no one came to mind. There was Tim, but you gave him the benefit of the doubt. He wouldn't do that to you twice. Would he? Groaning, you weren't sure anymore.

Before you could ponder anymore your phone started to ring. Groaning you palmed for your phone and answered it without glancing at the ID.

"You still haven't answered my questions?" the person said the minute the call went through furrowing your eyebrows, you pulled the phone away to see who called. It was the same number who had texted earlier.

"How the hell did you get my number?" you asked once the phone was back ear to your ear.

"Not important," she waved away your concern. "What is important is what happened between you and Jason."

"No. Whatever is between me and Jason is none of your business."

"It is, if he’s my brother." she shot back. Covering your eyes with your free hand and sighed. There's only one person you could think of who would be ballsy enough to confront you. Granted, you met her once and that was through a video chat. Through Jason. But you could tell they mean the world to each other. Even though Jason doesn't show it, you could tell.

"Stephanie," you said, cutting her rambling off. "If Tim gave you my number I swear.”

“What? No, I went through Jason’s phone for your number. And I have to say, your conversations are wild.”

“I swear to god.”

“I didn’t read all of it. I just wanted to know when was the last time you guys talked. And that was Valentine's day. I am not counting that, by the way. You guys just said thanks. Lame, not really a conversation. The real conversation was at Christmas."

…What?

“Has it been that long since we talked?" you asked in wonder, and thought back to what happened.

"Yeah, so? What happened between the two of you?"

“Been busy I guess. With school and work.” That was a lie and you know it. Apparently, you weren’t the only one. Staphanie scoffed and you winced.

“Don’t give me the same bullshit Jason gave me,” she said, “every time we’d ask, he’d say that or change the topic. Please can you give me the real reason?”

“So you can fix it?”

“So I can understand,” she stressed. “Jason was the happiest when he was talking to you. Now he just mopes around and snapping at everyone.”

“Oh.”

Guilt churned in your stomach at the realization that not talking affected him. To tell the truth, it affected you just as much. And it felt like too much time had passed to start again. Too afraid he wasn’t interested in you.

“So? What happened at Christmas?” Stephanie asked again, and you wondered where her patience came from. You dropped your hand from your face and sighed. It was no use, she was going to get it out of you one way or the other. You caved.

“He came to Metropolis after he called. So he spent the night. I, uh, woke him up from a nightmare and he didn’t react well.”

“What’d he do?”

“He attacked me I guess,” you answered, subconsciously rubbing your neck. The bruises had faded but for a while you were wearing scarfs and other clothing to hide them. Your friends had made fun of you for it, and you didn’t have the heart to tell them the truth.

“Shit.”

Yeah. Later he told me the story of how he died. Well, not the full story. Just said it was an accident and he was dead for a while.”

“But he told you about the pit?”

“Yup.”

That had sent you into a rabbit hole when you got home. When Jason had dropped you off at home you couldn't stop replaying your conversation and being curious you went online trying to find everything there was to know what the Lazarus pit was, and the group of assassins. Naturally it just gave you verses from the bible, and could find nothing on the League of Assassins.

Not one to back down from a challenge, you went diving into the dark web. There, you got all the information you wanted and plus some. The only downside was that you got someone's attention. Wanting to know more you followed the person and immediately closed the laptop.

You nearly destroyed your computer when you followed the single.

Not wanting Batman to find anything on you wiped it and just used it for school. Well not before creating a backdoor to Batman's computer. Who knows, maybe you'll need some information that only Batman has.

"Are you scared of him?” Steph asked, voice quiet. "Because then I get why there's radio silence from your end."

"And Jason’s end?" you asked not sure if you wanted to know the answer to.

"Sort of. He's scared of losing you. So he's keeping his distance. Waiting for you to stop pushing. He thinks it worked. Which makes him stupid, because he likes you and shouldn't do shit like that.”

"And I'm not helping.”

"And you're not helping."

"Okay. Okay, I have a plan. But it's going to take me a couple of hours "

"Ooh, tell me."

“Just going to do some baking.”

"Can I have brownies?"

"Only if you tell me what everyone else's favourite baked goods are."

"What? Boo, you shouldn't, they were going to come and bombard you. I talked them down."

"If you want your brownies, tell me.”

"Oh, I see why he likes you. Fine. But get my brownies first.”

You laughed, and grabbed a notebook and pen to write down your list. After your phone call with Stephanie, you made a list of the things that you need.

Quickly getting changed, you grabbed your keys and wallet, and left for the grocery store. An hour later, you were panting slightly in your apartment with grocery bags around your feet. You wondered slightly if you were going over bored. But waved the thought away.

Once gaining your breath, you began your baking mission.

Stephanie (10:30am)

How's it going?

Y/n

Uh....

There's a chance I might have gone overboard.

Stephanie

What?

Y/n

*A picture of all types of cookies, pies, cakes, and scones scattered around the kitchen.*

Stephanie

Holy shit.

Why?

Y/n

I don't know what happened

One minute I'm making cookies, the next I come to and this is all made

Stephanie

I don't see brownies

Y/n

*An imagine of brownies baking in the oven*

I've made two different types

Stephanie

If things don't work out with Jason

I'm available

Y/n

I'll keep that in mind.

Stephanie

:D

So, how are you going to bring that to Jason’s?

Y/n

Is he home?

Stephanie

Uh, like me check

He is not, he’s at Bruce’s

Y/n

I thought he hated spending time there

Stephanie

He sort of does?

Y/n

What does that even mean?

Stephanie

It means that he mopes around the house

And Dick told him to go home it all he was going to do is mope

Jason said he would rather be where people are than at home

Y/n

Oh.

Stephanie

Yeah

So! How are you going to bring me my brownies?

Y/n

Uber?

Stephanie

I think the fuck not

Y/n

Then what do you suggest?

Stephanie

I'm so glad you asked

Y/n.

I have regrets

Stephanie

Dick is going to be around your place in an hour.

Y/n

Stephanie!

You didn't have get him to do that

Stephanie

What? He's my brother

Plus he wants those cookies

Y/n

Not your brownie?

Stephanie

No, those are mine

And I will throw hands with anyone who thinks they can steal them.

Y/n

Okay

Remind me not to come between you and your brownies

Stephanie

Good

I don't want you to learn the hard way.

I like you.

Y/n

I like you too.

Stephanie

Enough to leave Jason for me?

Y/n

Ha!

No, you'll just use me for my brownies.

Stephanie

Touché

So, can Dick come by?

Y/n

You're not going to take no for an answer

Stephanie

Oh you know me so well

Y/n

I've known you for a day, if even that.

Stephanie

Who says friendship can't form so quickly?

Y/n

Wait, did you say an hour?

Stephanie

Yup

Y/n

Make it two

An hour won't be enough time

Stephanie

What?

You still have things to bake?

Y/n

Ha!

No, after the brownies are done, I need to let them cool before packing them up

Plus I need to shower and change.

I smell so bad all sweaty and stuff

I think I have flour up my nose

Stephanie

That is to much info

Y/n

I thought we were friends?

Stephanie

We are

Were just not that close yet

Y/n

Mm. See you in a couple of hours.

You and three others have been added to a group chat.

Something that actually makes sense, sometimes

Conner

DID YOU AND JASON BREAK UP

Ellie

Real smooth Conner

Y/n

What the fuck is this?

I didn’t consent to this group chat

Conner

Answer the question y/n

Unknown number

Yeah Y/N

Answer the question

Y/N

Who the fuck are you?

Unknown number

Jay’s best friend

Who the fuck are you?

Y/N

Jason’s…….something

You’ll have to ask him

Conner? What the fuck?

Conner

Oh, yeah that’s Roy Harder

He’s in Star City and Jason’s friend

Y/N

Ellie, I’m going to kill your boyfriend

Ellie

Yeah that’s fair

It was Connors idea

I told him not do it

Apparently he didn't listen

Conner

Ellie

How could you?

Betrayed by my own girlfriend

Ellie

Not sure what you expected

Roy

Whatever we have more pressing matters to talk about

Conner

Yeah, it’s a matter of life and death

Y/n

Have you been talking to Tim?

Conner

Don't worry about it

Y/n

I'm going to kill him

Ellie

Please answer him

He wouldn't shut up about you and Jason

Y/n

No we didn't break up

Just I don't know

Not sure what happened but in fixing it

Don't worry

Conner

I will worry about it

Roy

Jason deserves the world

Two hours later, there was a knock on the door. "It's open!" you called from the kitchen. From your place at the sink, you listened as the door opened and closed. Light footsteps made their way through your apartment, and soon their owner stood at the doorway.

"Do you always have the door unlocked?" Dick asked, thumb pointing over his shoulder.

You glanced at him with a shrug and turned back to your dishes. "No. I keep it unlocked when I know someone's coming over and when I'm busy that I can't answer the door."

"You still should have it locked.” he said with a frown, "you live in Gotham.”

"Ya but nothing happened yet.”

"Yet being the key word." You made a face but didn't answer. "So, want to tell me what's going on between you and Jason?"

"No, not unless you want cookies.”

"Shutting up now," he said, with a smile.

“That's what I thought. Now, help me with all this,” you said, putting the last dish away and gesturing at four bags of baked goods.

Dick whistled lowly as he looked through the bags. "Steph wasn't kidding when she said you went a bit overboard.”

"What can I say? I wanted to make an impression.”

“Yeah, but isn't this to much for Jason?" Dick asked grabbing two bags as you grabbed the other two. He followed you through the apartment, and watched with amusement as you struggle reaching for your keys that were in your pockets. You made a sound of victory when you pulled them out.

"Oh no, this isn't all for Jason. He has his own container of sweets,” you reply, turning around to your door and locked it. "See, locked." You said pointedly.

"Doesn't count, you're not even in there. You're leaving," he counted, you stuck your tongue out and made your way to the elevator. "Okay, then who are the rest for?" he asked turning the conversation back to the baked goods.

"You, your brothers, sisters, Bruce, Alfred and whoever else lives there.”

"Even for the dogs, cat, cow and bat?" You paused and looked at him as if he grew an extra head. The way he said bat told you there some washing more to that, and you’re not entirely sure you wanted to know.

"You have a pet bat? And cow?”

"It's a long story."

"Yeah, I don't think I want to know," you said, and turned back to the elevator. You both stepped in once it opened. After pressing the ground floor button you answered his question, “no, but if they're the jealous type then I can pick some treats from the store since I need to get something anyways. What do you get a bat and a cow anyways?"

"No idea, Damien is usually the one to fees them,” Dick replied with a shrug. "What do you need at the store?”

"Tea," is all that you said.

“Jason doesn't drink tea,” Dick pointed out as he stepped out of the elevator and made his way through the parking garage to his car. You followed close behind and shrugged.

"I know," you said, sniffing. "Doesn't mean I still can't get it. Do you mind?" Dick studied you for a minute, and you did your best not to fidget.

"Sure, but only because I'm curious."

"Sure Jan." Dick laughed and loaded the bags in the car. Once the two of you were seated and buckled, you told him which store. To which he proceeded to look at you in surprise, saying that it was an expensive store. "I know, but I also know what I can and can't afford"

"I guess you do," he mumbled and pulled out of the parking garage.

As Dick drove through traffic, you made idle chatter, talking about everything to nothing you could think of, when silence fell between the two of you, you debated on asking a question. Before you could, he pulled to a stop in front of the store.

“Thanks, I'll be back in a few," you said and left the car before he could say anything. You browsed through the store until you found what you wanted, and within minutes you were sitting beside Dick "See? I didn't take to long"

“No kidding, '' he said and pulled out into traffic. "Usually people take long when they say it won't take long.”

"I mean yeah but I knew where to find it."

"Plus you want to see Jason."

"Plus I want to see- hey! Don't put words into my mouth," you said, poking his arm. Dick raised an eyebrow at you. Slumping into your seat like a chid getting scolded, you signed. "Okay. So I want to see Jason. I miss him, sue me”

“And get my ass beat by him? I'm good," he said, and you snorted.

“This coming from the guy who almost fought a couch? I'm sure you could win.”

"Are you betting against your boyfriend?"

"I didn't say that!”

"Mm sounds like you're implying it," Dick teased, you stuck your tongue out and shrugged.

"Why'd Steph ask you to drive me?" you asked, changing the topic. Dick snorted and shook his head. "I could have just taken a taxi or something,"

"Yeah but she doesn't really trust public transportation," he answered, "it was either me or Alfred. And I don't think you'd like a limo drive up at your place." You winced at the thought. "Yeah that's what Steph thought too.”

"Okay, but why you?" you asked, ignoring his hurt pout he sent you. "You don't live in Gotham, and yet you seem to be always here. At least when I talk to Jason."

"I'm here on the weekends, but sometimes my job brings me here." You gave him a confused look and thought back to your conversation with Jason a while back.

"Oh right. You're a detective."

"You don't have to sound like it's a lame job," he pouted.

"I'm not saying that. I just forgot that’s all." You two lapsed into silence for a moment before you posed your question. "Did you ever find the missing college students?"

"Yup. It ended up being a human trafficking ring."

"Yikes. Did they find every one?"

"Yeah. some were a little hurt and traumatized but nothing too serious."

"That's good" you murmured, "I'm glad their okay."

"They should be thanking you," Dick said, turning right. "You were the one to bring it to the cops attention."

"All I did was talk to Jason. Asked if he could talk to you about it," you said, shrugging.

"Yeah but without you it could have been a lot worse.” You didn't have anything to say to that, so you stayed quiet.

With the conversation coming to a close and no other topics came up, you spent the rest of the drive looking out the window in silence. You liked Dick, but it wasn’t the same as talking to Jason.

With Jason, it didn’t feel like he was judging you. He encouraged some of your ideas and help spark others. He wasn’t afraid to call you out on your bull, and told you the things that you needed to hear.

With Dick, you had a sense that he was holding back. Like he was afraid to say the wrong thing that would make you run away.

Which was absurd, given what you know about Jason and all the research you’ve done after Christmas. It wasn’t going to make you run then, so whatever he wants to say won’t make you run now.

Granted, the two of you haven’t talked since Christmas, and you can admit that you needed time to process everything. But this all could have been avoided if you told Jason that you needed a minute. It also didn’t help that Jason pulled away too.

But you were going to rectify that starting today.

Dick pulled to a stop, bringing you out of your thoughts. You blinked in surprise at how big the Wayne Manor actually was, and wondered if it was possible to get lost in it.

Dick laughed and you turned to him confused. “It’s possible to get lost, trust me.”

“Good to know,” you mumbled, flushing that you’ve said that out loud. Quickly getting out of the car, you grabbed the bags from the back seat.

Before you could even walk towards the door, it opened and Stephanie came bounding towards you. “Brownies!”

“Steph! Wait!” But it was too late, she tackled you into a hug and the two of you tumbled to the ground. You grunted at the impact, and watched as the bags fell to the ground around you.

“Oops,” she said as she looked at the bags. “Sorry.”

“If I would have known you’d tackle me, I wouldn’t have gotten them out of the car,” you said, waving away her worry. “No worries. I should have seen it coming.”

"So," Stephanie said, arms and your neck as she leaned in with a knowing smile. One that you didn't trust one bit. "Brownies?" The question startled a laugh out of you, and you shoved her off of you.

"Help me bring them inside and you can have them,” you answered, and she jumped up and offered you a helping hand. Which you took.

"I can do that," she said, grabbing a bag or two.

"You know, if I didn't know better I would have guessed the two of you were dating,” Dick said in amusement, watching the two of you from where he stood. You laughed and shoved a bag into his arms.

"She only wishes,” you said, threading an arm through Stephanie’s.

"Damn right I do." She laughed and the three of you made your way to the house.

As you walked towards the kitchen, Stephanie and Dick chatted while you looked around the house in wonder. This place was huge and more than you could ever afford.

"So, why’d you bake so much?" Dick asked, putting the bags on the counter. You blinked in surprise that you made it to the kitchen without realizing it.

"Don't know," you answered with a shrug. "Felt like doing something nice. And yeah, I'm sure Alfred could do this and it'd taste twice as good, but I figured I could give him a break, you know? Since he’s taking care of a lot of people, the man needs a break."

Silence fell in the room as everyone stared at you in shock. “What? What’d I say?”

"You're like the opposite of Jason," Tim said, breaking the silence. "I am unsure what you see in him." You blinked and looked up from your unpacking and shrugged.

“Guess that's something you'll always have to wonder about," you replied and went back to sorting everything. "Okay. Steph your brownies," you said, pushing two containers towards her.

You winced as she squealed, and hugged them to her. "I have chocolate chips, snicker-doodles, and oatmeal cookies. Apple pie and pecan. And the tea is for Alfred. So if you could tell him that. I would appreciate that," you said as you pointed out the different snacks out to everyone.

"What about Jason?" Stephanie asked, peering into her containers of brownies. "You did this for him right?” You held up a special looking container and smiled when she pouted. "I see how it is. Jason gets the special treatment while us nobodies just get boring."

"You have brownies, but if you have a problem with that then I’ll just take them back," you replied, reaching over the counter as if you were going to take them back. Stephanie pulled the brownies further from you and stuck out her tongue. “That’s what I thought.”

You looked around and frowned when you noticed that Jason wasn't here. “So, where's Jason?" you asked. And your stomach flipped with nerves when the exchanged looks.

"Todd's in the library," Damien answered as he walked in. "He needed a moment before joining us later."

"He doesn't know I'm here, does he?"

"No, I made sure no one told him,” Stephanie replied before stuffing a brownie square into her mouth.

"Cool cool cool cool," you muttered and reached for Jasons container full off sweets. "Mind telling me where it is?"

"I'll show you,” Dick said, already moving to the door. "Like I said, you'll get lost if you don't know where to go."

You nodded and quickly followed him after waving to Stephanie. The walk to the library from the kitchen was silent and you felt there was no need to fill in the silence. Dick motioned towards the door of the library and wished you luck before leaving you alone.

You looked at the door for a minute, your stomach in knots wondering if this was a good idea before you could change your mind you took a deep breath and opened the door. Your jaw dropped at how big the library was, and you wanted to spend time walking through. Wanting to discover what kind of collection Bruce Wayne had. But the need to see Jason outweighed the need to explore.

You walked further into the room and found yourself coming to follow a slight shoring. The closer you walked towards it the louder it became. And soon you found Jason sleeping on a couch in what looked like a reading nook. Your gaze softened as you studied him, before looking for a blanket. Finding one you grabbed his book that was lying on his chest and covered him with the blanket.

You set the container of sweets and his book down before picking a random book from the shelf and sat down willing to wait for him to wake up. Judging by the black bags underneath his eyes, he could use some sleep.

Jason woke up to a soft humming coming from beside him. He groaned and covered his face with a throw pillow. "Steph, I said I wasn't in the mood. Shut up and go away,” the humming stopped, but only because the person he thought was Steph scoffed.

"I don't know whether to be flattered or offended that you see me as your sister.” The voice said and Jason froze at the familiar voice. "But considering I would like to kiss your stupid face, then I'm offended."

Jason peaked over the armrest and blinked in surprise. You were indeed sitting on one of the sofas, peeking over your book hiding the smile he knew was there. "What are you doing here?"

"A little birdie told me that we've been avoiding each other. And I plan to fix that."

Jason made a face. "Was it Tim?"

"No. It was Stephanie," you replied. "You should really keep an eye on your phone.”

"I'm going to kill her," he growled and moved to get up but you were quicker, and pushed him back on the couch. Now sitting beside him, you nuzzled into his side.

"Don't be mad at her," you said, wrapping your arms around his waist. "She cares about you and I'm glad she said something. I'm sorry for being distant for the last two months. It was a lot of process and I guess I needed time. Sorry I didn't say anything. That's on me."

Jason signed, and wrapped his arms around you, while resting his head on you. "I forgive you. I'm sorry too, guess I thought you were too scared or something so I thought l'el let you go." You scoffed and poked his side, smiling when he squirmed.

"Don’t think you’re not getting rid of me that easily," you said, "like I said at Christmas. I trust you no matter what. Besides, I've read some of the stories about the group of assassins. And let me tell you, if those didn't scare me off you wouldn't.”

"Good to know," Jason mumbled, and pulled back when he realized what you said. "What do you mean you've read some stories about them.?" You avoided his gaze and shrugged. “Y/N,” he said and your shoulders dropped.

"So my curiosity got the better of me and I went into a rabbit hole of research."

"I doubt Google would have anything on them," he commented wryly. You nodded and scratched your nose sheepishly

"You would be correct," you said, "on another note. Did you know Batman monitors certain words on the dark web?"

"Please tell me you didn't?" Jason groaned, head falling onto back of the couch exaggerated.

"M’kay I won't."

Jason groaned and closed his eyes. "What am I going to do with you?"

"I don't know, but at least I can keep you on your toes," you answered with a giggle. Jason only grunted. "Anyway, hungry?" Jason cracked an eye open to glance at you questioningly. "What? I did some baking this morning. "

"Why?"

"Why not?" you questioned back and pointed towards the container of sweets on the table beside him. Jason reached over and set it on his lap before opening it.

'That's a lot," he commented as he looked at all the goodies in it. You shorted and reached for a chocolate chip cookie.

"You should see the stuff in the kitchen," you said, taking a bite. "I baked so much it's a bit ridiculous."

"How long were you awake?"

"Uh, I think Steph woke me up around five five-thirty-ish. But I didn't start baking until seven. Don't worry, the ones in the kitchen are for everyone else. These are for you that way you don't have to share. Well, except for me if that's okay."

Jason looked at you in awe as you continued eating your cookie, unaware. "You are amazing," he said, leaning in to kiss your temple. "Have I said that yet?"

"No, but you could say it more often," you said with a smile. Jason only grinned and grabbed a cookie.

"I think that could be arranged."

After letting his hands slip through your own, the muscles of his palm freshly massaged, his hands trail up your hips, making their way up to your breasts.

“Is this okay?” Azriel’s voice whispers in your ear.

“Gods, yes,” you whisper back, your hands tracing up his thighs. He groans at the touch, the way your fingers delicately move up closer to his hips.

His fingers begin cupping your breasts, your skin hot from his touch. You moan into his ear, and he turns his head to capture your lips in a kiss. His lips are everything, as they move from your mouth down your neck. His hands move towards your pants, unzipping your jeans and helping you shimmy out of them.

His fingers begin moving down stomach, gently hooking into the waistband of your panties before-

You wake up with a jolt, feeling as if his hands are still in your hair. You take a deep breath, reaching for your pillow to hide under to calm yourself down, but when you reach your hand up, it meets skin.

Your eyes widen as your head shoots up to find Azriel underneath your hand, a soft groan coming from his lips as he wakes. The sound mimics the ones he made in your dream, shooting straight to your core.

Oh gods, you think. You fell asleep out here after finding him in the middle of the night.

Oh gods. You fell asleep with him on your couch and had a dirty dream about him. If you had any luck at all, you kept quiet in your sleep and the man underneath you had no idea of the dream you just had about him.

His eyes open ever so slightly, and you swear his hand squeezes your back a bit tighter as he says, "good morning." You melt at his touch, burying your face further into his neck.

“G’morning,” you mumble into the shirt as he chuckles. You reach your hand out, searching for your phone to see how long you have until your alarm goes off.

Your arm pads around the table, and you find his phone on the coffee table, the screen lighting up to display the time.

No fucking way.

“8:40?” You screech, scrambling to sit up off of Azriel, using his chest to push yourself up. Your limbs get dragged back down by the weight of the large blanket and long legs tangled with yours. “My class starts in twenty minutes!”

Azriel can’t contain the chuckle he lets out as you scramble, trying to claw your way out of this ever sinking couch.

You’re able to get out of the cocoon of blankets surrounding you two, one foot meeting the carpet. You start swinging the other leg, and on unsure footing, you’re on the carpet.

Until you aren’t. Falling forward, you brace your hands in front of you to catch yourself.

Fortunately, you catch yourself on Azriel's thighs, him having sat up trying to help you. Unfortunately, your face is now approximately four inches from his crotch.

Your cheeks are burning as you start to stutter, trying to stand back up. You can't even look at Azriel as you grip his thighs, using them to hoist yourself back up.

“I- um- class-,” you say, pointing a thumb at your door as your feet connect to solid ground. You look at him, getting lost in his eyes for a few moments before remembering that you are late.

"Um, class. I have. Today."

You scramble into your room, not letting yourself think about how outrageously idiotic you sounded, grabbing a pair of pants and quickly brushing your teeth as you jump into your pants. You spit out the toothpaste, grabbing a bra and then your shirt before swiping deodorant on.

Once you’re dressed you open your door back up to find Azriel still on the couch, and before you can register what’s happening, you’re bending over the couch, placing a kiss on his forehead before grabbing your bag and ducking out the door.

You would have been much better off staying in your apartment with Azriel because you have no idea what your professor is talking about today, only able to tune in to every hundredth word or so. Your thoughts keep going back to how it felt to wake up in his arms and how badly you wanted to nuzzle back into him, and how fucked up it was to dream about his hands right after he opened up to you about them.

And how badly you may have messed everything up by falling on him and trying to fix it with a forehead kiss.

Class eventually ends and you make it back to your apartment and groan as you push open the door, knowing that Azriel will not be on your couch, but hoping you’d see his messy curls anyway. You can’t hide the disappointment as you find Cassian in your living room, sheepishly at your door.

“Can you tweeze my eyebrows?”

You walk in, placing down your bag, “hello to you too, Cass. I had a great day, thanks for asking.”

He rolls his eyes at you, clacking the tweezers in your face, “I’m seeing Mor later tonight and she hates when my eyebrows are unruly.”

“Why don’t you ask her to do them?” You ask, moving to sit on the couch, patting the spot next to you.

Cassian rounds the couch, holding the tweezers out to you as he sits, “because she says it’s better if I’m already pretty for her and she doesn’t have to do anything.”

You laugh, taking the tweezers from him, “are you a baby about your eyebrows being done?”

“No,” he huffs, crossing his arms. You sit up on your legs, putting your hand on his face. You look at his eyebrows, taking a moment to figure out the shape of them and where you want to pluck from.

You place the tweezers around the first hair, and Cassian squeezes his eyes shut as you pull just hard enough for the hair to come out.

“Was that it?” Cassian asks, still not opening his eyes. “Are you done?”

“Yes, I have plucked off your entire eyebrow.”

“Maybe I can just draw them on every day,” he muses, as you grab another hair and pull.

“Says the man who wakes up ten minutes before he has to leave to go somewhere.”

The two of you sit in silence as you continue plucking his eyebrows, despite Cassian’s constant twitching, when the door opens and Mor’s blonde head pokes out from the other side.

“Hello darlings.”

You chuckle, both you and Cassian greeting her. She stops in her tracks at seeing you plucking Cassian’s eyebrows, a huff coming from her lips.

“Cassian, what do you think you’re doing?”

Cassian tenses beside you, putting a hand up to block her view of the tweezers, “nothing, dearest.”

She stalks towards you two, pointing at him, “did you really ask her to pluck your eyebrows?”

He shrugs, “your hands are so cruel, they hurt me.”

You laugh as Mor swats at him, “of course they’re going to hurt, you big baby.”

You nearly avoid stabbing Cassian in the eye as Mor sits on the other couch, away from your roommate, and says hi to you again.

“Hi Mor. You won’t believe what happened last night.”

“Try me,” Mor replies, a hint of challenge in her voice. Your eyes dart to Cassian, trying to gauge if you should discuss this in front of him. You turn back to Mor, whispering quickly, “I fell asleep on Azriel on the couch and I had a sex dream about him and then when I woke up I fell onto his cock.”

Mor is quiet for a second before saying, “so you slept with him, then you slept with him?”

“No, I just slept with him the once, I didn’t sleep with him.”

“Okay, so you had sex with him on your couch? What if Cassian had walked in on you two?”

“I would never be able to look at you again for defiling my brother in such a way,” Cassian says, shaking his head.

“Mor, no. We slept together,” you reply, ignoring Cassian completely.

“Yeah, you slept together.”

You sigh, trying to make this as clear as possible. “No, we fell asleep on the couch together, and I had a dirty dream about him and then when I woke up I slipped on the blanket and my face landed right next to his cock.”

“Was he hard?”

“Mor that is not the point.”

“What?” She shrugs. “If he wasn’t, that’d be worse.”

Cassian points to her, nodding his head in agreement. You pluck the next hair extra harshly, a soft ow coming from Cassian as he pushes your hand away.

“I’m going to go wash my face. Thanks for your help. You have delicate hands, unlike some people,” Cassian says, glaring at Mor. She gives him a shrug, but he still walks over to her, giving her a forehead kiss before walking off to his room, closing the door behind him.

Mor watches Cassian close his door, and once she can hear the water running, she turns to you and asks, “what are you doing tonight?”

You narrow your eyes, sitting up straighter, “why do you want to know?”

“Mor,” you press, voice more stern when she won’t respond.

“Let me set you-“ You cut Mor off before she can finish her sentence.

“Mor, please. The last date was awful - I need at least 10-15 business days to recuperate from it. He showed me his NFTs for pete’s sake.”

She sighs, “this one is different, trust me. It’s someone Cassian knows.”

You groan, hitting your head against the couch. You pick up your throw pillow, holding it against your chest like a shield. You think back to Az telling you to just say no. To stand up for yourself more.

“No, I’m not going.”

You felt proud standing up to Mor, but you could hear her frustration as she sighs, looking up at the ceiling as she muttered something.

“Cassian says this guy is crazy hot, really sweet, and that you’d really like him.”

Azriel’s face appears in your mind, as you squeeze the pillow. You can’t go out with someone else, not when it feels so right with Azriel.

Especially not when you spent your night cuddled up to him on your couch.

You sigh, “Mor, what about Az-“

She interrupts you, “it’ll be a great date, I promise. And if it sucks, I’ll never set you up again.”

Your ears perk up at that, “yeah?”

“And I suppose if it goes well, I won’t have to set you up again.”

You laugh, “okay, but only if you promise that if it sucks you will never, ever set me up again, and you’ll leave me a giant container of ice cream.”

“Deal.”

Seven o’clock at a restaurant downtown, she tells you. You'll explain to Azriel later that it was purely a chance to get Mor to stop setting you up. Surely he'd understand that.

Sighing, I burrowed my nose in my blanket, wincing when something pulled tight in my lower stomach like a bowstring, sending a jolt up my spine that made me barely suppress a groan.

Ow.

Breathing in, I blinked tiredly into the halflight.

My room was lit by a few flickering candles, the sky outside so grey and dark, the flat felt gloomy even though it was only afternoon, quiet and empty.

Shifting in my curled up position, I furrowed my brows before dipping my head and, with a slightly dramatic little groan, pulled my hot water bottle out from under the blanket. It was cold to the touch, and grumbling, I slowly pushed myself to my feet.

As soon as I was standing upright, I winced at the sharp jolt of pain shooting through my lower stomach and stilled for a second, squinting.

Ow, ow, ow, ow.

Exhaling and straightening with a grimace, I wrapped my blanket around myself until I was engulfed in it like a cocoon. Then I picked up the hot water bottle and started to shuffle towards the door, my blanket softly swishing on the floorboards behind me when I trudged into the hall.

In the kitchen, I plopped the hot water bottle down before turning on the kettle. Plopping onto the couch, I propped my chin onto my arms and stared out of the window behind which, it had started to drizzle.

The key in the lock of the front door made me turn my head as my heart did a little confused backflip, and I automatically shrunk a little into my blankets, because crap; I hadn´t told the boys this morning, because Cassian had already left for his shift at the gym, and Azriel had booked the lab to develop pictures, and Rhys had planned to spend the day at the library, and if any of them knew, they´d become ridiculously overprotective and -

Dark hair flashed, and Rhys appeared in the doorway, stopping midstep and squinting.

I blinked at him.

Wrapped in a blanket, in ridiculously baggy clothes and a slightly tilted curled up position on the couch and probably looking a little peaky, the hot water bottle on the counter.

Caught in the act. And by Rhys, who was the biggest freaking mother hen of this planet.

Damn it.

Tipping his head to the side, Rhys stared at me, and slowly, one corner of his lips curved upwards. I shrunk a little more, preparing myself for a scolding as he started to stalk towards me, my nose crinkling - until Rhys crouched down in front of me and wordlessly held out the bag in his hand.

I blinked at him in confusion, slowly squeezing a hand out of my blanket cocoon to carefully take it. Dropping the bag into my lap, I peaked inside - and felt something swell harshly in my chest.

Sweets that were too specific to just be plucked from the shelves, tea, emergency pads and pain meds -

My chin wobbled a little as I raised my head to stare at Rhys, and he huffed a little.

"You didn´t really think we wouldn´t notice?" His lips twitched as he raised a brow at me.

Fighting against the sudden pressure behind my eyes, I felt my bottom lip tremble as I sniffled, and Rhys´ eyes crinkled as he broke into a smile.

"Aw, come on, darling -"

"What are you doing here?" I grabbed the pillow from next to me to hit him against the head, causing Rhys to snort a laugh, and I stared at him with tears welling in my eyes and that aching feeling in my chest swelling.

"You´re not supposed to be here, that's why I didn't say anything; Cass has to work and Az has been waiting for that booking for weeks and I know you got that deadline -"

"That´s in a week, and I´m almost done, I´ll be fine if I take a day or two off." Shaking his head a little, Rhys stared at me, his lips curving as I tried to wipe the tears away that were now flowing freely over my cheeks, my breath shaking as a sniffled sob left me.

"How did you -"

Rhys rolled his eyes a little. "C´mon, we can count. Plus, we´ve seen you become a little ghost in a blanket often enough to recognize the signs. The only reason the other two aren´t here is because I said I had it covered." He grinned, and I stared at him, that rising feeling in my chest growing as I fought for air, because they had noticed, my idiot best friends had noticed, and -

My chin slowly started to wobble as another wave of tears welled in my eyes, and Rhys sighed, his violet iris twinkling as he shook his head and pushed himself to his feet.

"Alright, get in here, little weirdo -" He plopped down next to me, and the feeling in my chest rose, my sobs growing a little harsher as I turned to bury myself in his chest, and Rhys chuckled softly and dropped his chin onto my head, wrapping his arm over my shoulder. "Aw, come on, love."

"Shut up,", I managed through a shaky inhale, squeezing my eyes shut as tears ran over my cheeks and that warm feeling in my chest pulsed. Then another cramp made me wince.

Ow.

Rain was pelting against the windows, and the candles in the living room flickered as I winced a little at a jab of pain in my lower stomach. Burying myself deeper under my blanket, I stared at the ad for period products running on the TV as I slowly chewed on a spring roll.

"That´s just wrong." I felt my brows crunch. "I mean - good for her, but why do I have to be strong and productive and - ice skating when I'm on my period?" I blinked before turning my head to look over at Rhys who was stretched out on the other couch, frowning at him in a confused pout. "I don´t wanna do that."

Rhys snorted and sent me a grin. "I think you´re in your very right to refuse that, love."

I giggled soflty and turned my head back ahead again, crunching my brows and reaching under my blanket.

"Damn it,", I grumbled, pulling out my hot water bottle that wasn´t hot anymore and glared at it.

"What are you doing, sucking the warmth out of that thing?" Laboriously, Rhys got to his feet, just as the front door opened, and I could hear the wide grin in the deep voice that echoed through the hall in a dramatic: "Honey, I´m home!"

Rhys and I snorted at the same time, and while I giggled weakly into my blanket, Rhys shook his head with a grin, plucking the hot water bottle from my grip and patting my head. Turning around, he started to make his way to the door where Cassian appeared, in gymshorts and a hoodie. Rhys tried to swat him away but got engulfed in a bear hug that made him wheeze dramatically. Freeing himself, he flipped Cassian off, then he disappeared into the hall, and chuckling, Cass sauntered into the room.

"Hey sweets." His wide grin softened, and I sent him a crooked smile that turned to a wince when a cramp hit me, causing me to curl up and whimper a little.

There was a mumbled curse, then a warm hand settled on my back, rubbing soothingly, and a tall, huge body squeezed into the corner of the couch behind me.

When I finally straightened with a soft grimace, the clenching jabbing pain in my stomach lessening, Cass gently squeezed my shoulder. "You okay?"

I grumbled softly, and Cassian chuckled and pressed a long, exaggerted kiss onto the side of my head. Slowly curling up against him, I winced at the pull and twinge in my lower stomach and mumbled: "Ow."

"Back or stomach?" Cass ran his hand over my head.

"Stomach mostly,", I grumbled softly, and Cassian gave a soft, sympathetic sound, his hand sliding down to lightly rub his palm over the blanket. The warmth of his skin seaped through the thick material, and I sighed in relief.

"That helping?"

I craned my head to find Cassian grinning toothily and huffed. "Until I got my hot water bottle back."

Cass squinted. "How does that thing not boil you alive?"

"I'm heat-resistant." I dug a spring roll out of the container on my lap, snuggling back into Cassian's chest. I felt him shift to get comfortable, then he nudged his chin towards the TV.

"What are we watching?"

"Bake off, Halloween special." I bit off a piece of crunchy roll and furrowed my brows. "The only spooky thing so far was that one guy´s attempt at piping."

Cassian leaned over my shoulder and bit into the spring roll, pulling it out of my fingers; I gave a startled sound of protest and hit him with a pillow, and Cass almost choked on his deep, rumbling laugh.

Sniffling, I stared at the screen of my laptop, feeling silent tears run over my cheeks as I tried to hold in the breathy sobs that shook my body.

Distantly, I heard keys clinking and the soft sound of the front door shutting, and sniffling, I hastily wiped my sleeve over my hot and blotchy cheeks and sucking in a sharp, shaky breath, trying to calm myself before -

A tall figure appeared in the doorway, and I raised my head, my breath hitching when my eyes met amber ones.

My heart skipped high before beginning to rise, and Azriel stilled. His gaze flickered over me, buried in my blanket on the couch, pillows stuffed into my back, surrounded by used tissues and my laptop open in my lap.

Azriel blinked, slowly leaning his shoulder against the doorframe, and a twinkle started spreading through his eyes. Then he raised an eyebrow.

Emotion welled in my chest, and barely suppressing a quiet sob, I felt tears well in my eyes as my bottom lip started to tremble, and quickly, I widened my eyes.

"It´s animated, okay; -"

Azriel´s lips curved upwards as he stared at me, and my heart rose in a flutter when I inhaled shudderingly, staring at him with tears running over my cheeks and chin wobbling, and slowly, the curve of Azriel´s lips turned into a smile, growing and spreading until he dropped his head with a chuckle and my breath got stuck in my throat, my heart flipping against my ribs.

Grinning, Azriel pushed off the doorframe, his smile causing a deep crease to appear in his cheek as he started to make his way past the other couch.

I tried to control my soft sobs and the way my breath shook, my body quaking, then the cushions dipped under Azriel´s weight, causing me to shuffle forward, and Az slid into the space behind me. My heart got stuck in my throat when I felt his chest press into my back when he shut my laptop, then his arms wrapped around me, tucked in legs and all, gathering me up and pulling me backwards into the space between his legs.

My heart rose in a flutter, and when I turned my head, lips parting and wide-eyed, he was already looking down at me. A strand of dark hair curved over his forehead as the flicker of the candle light made his face look like carved from marble, the curve of his lips softened but there, tilted and causing the shadow of a crease to dig into his cheek.

My chin started to wobble, and Azriel inhaled in a chuckle, his eyes crinkling as he slid his arm over my shoulder, and I curled up, burying myself in his chest and exhaling shakingly.

"Can´t believe Rhys allowed you to watch this,", Azriel mumbled into my hair, and I weakly pinched his side before sniffling a soft giggle when Az tightened his grip around me, pinning my arms to my side. I knew there was a crease in his cheek without even looking at him when he dropped his chin onto my head.

"He went grocery shopping with Cass,", I grumbled miserably. "I'm holding him responsible, I shouldn't be left unsupervised like this."

Azriel chuckled, and his hand began to gently rub over my back.

"How bad?" His slow, low voice gently rumbled through me, mumbled against the top of my head, and I sniffled softly, my voice still a little thick with tears when I mumbled back: "Movie or cramps?"

I felt Azriel´s lips curve up the tiniest bit and breathed out, burying my face in his chest.

"Cramps bearable, mostly." I felt my brows crunch. "Movie not at all."

Azriel huffed into my hair, but I could feel the curve of his lips deepening. "Back?"

"´s okay mostly." I blinked, feeling a soft shudder go through my breath as it slowly calmed. "Just belly. And I'm feeling tired and a little urgh, and my tummy's kinda -" I made a nauseous face for emphasis before wincing at a jab of pain shooting through my stomach.

I felt Azriel shift, like tension rippled through his shoulders. Then his hand slid under my hoodie, and my breath hitched, my heart stilling.

Azriel´s rough, warm palm brushed over my ribs before sliding lower, and something started rising in my chest when he carefully pressed his warm hand against my lower stomach.

"Here?", Azriel mumbled against my hair, voice deep and quiet and steady, and I tried to swallow against the wild flutter in my throat and managed a nod. Then I raised my head, and something thrummed harshly against my ribs when my eyes met Azriel´s, shining like amber in the light of the candles, twinkling the softest bit as they dragged over my face, and my breath hitched.

Azriel´s amber eyes flickered over mine, the curve of his barely there smile deepening as I felt his thumb begin to slowly move back and forth over my stomach. I could see the golden flecks in his eyes, swirling like galaxies as they moved over my face.

The front door opened, and I blinked, tearing my eyes away from Azriel´s when Rhys´ deep voice called my name.

"If you started watching anything that made you cry, I´m not responsible!"

Cassian barked a deep laugh, and Azriel scoffed. Trying to breathe against the flutter under my ribs, I felt him shift to settle more comfortably, then his thumb picked up it´s gentle circling over my skin.

You enjoyed the playful banter between the two of you but this new side of Jason excited you. 

You nodded, unable to resist the offer. You had a crap weekend and you were sure Jason didn't have fun either. So why not? 

However, your mind flashed back to the conversation you had with your ex earlier. You assumed Jason would never pressure you into doing anything but you thought it'd be best to have that conversation anyway. 

It was the healthy thing to do. 

Set boundaries so no one gets hurt.

 Something you'd wish you had done with your ex. 

Noticing your silence Jason reached out to tuck a strand of your hair behind your ear. 

"Hey, I promise we don't have to do anything." He offered as if he could read your mind. "We can always just get into our pajamas and sleep. There's no pressure I promise." 

As you glanced up at Jason, you realized that he genuinely cared about your well-being. He wasn't like your ex, who had pushed and pressured you into things you weren't ready for. 

No, Jason was different.

Taking a deep breath, you mustered the courage to respond. "Jason, I want you to know that I appreciate your respect towards me. Especially after what happened with my ex." 

He nodded, urging you to continue. 

"I think if this is going to work out and become something more, " you paused, "it's important for us to have a conversation about boundaries. I want both of us to feel comfortable and safe in this relationship."

Jason's eyes softened, and he nodded. "Of course, sweetheart."

His words filled you with hope and reassurance. It was clear that Jason valued and wanted this to work as much as you did. 

With a deep breath, you continued, "I just want to make sure we're on the same page, Jason. I don't want you to think you owe me this and I need to make sure that this isn't something you do for everyone else."

He took your hand in his, giving it a gentle squeeze. "Sweetheart, believe me when I say I've never slept with a client and besides, I thought we agreed you were never considered a client in my eyes."

His honesty warmed your heart. You couldn't help but smile, feeling a weight lifted off your shoulders.

 "Thank you, Jason."

He leaned in, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. "You mean a lot to me and I don't want to mess this up."

With a newfound confidence, you nodded, the smile on your lips growing wider.

 "I'd love to take a bath together, Jason. But I would prefer to keep some clothes on."

His face lit up with a grin, mirroring your excitement. "That's perfectly fine with me."

You felt a surge of happiness and relief flood through you, so this was what a healthy relationship felt like. 

"Let's go pretty boy," you said standing up from your place on the bed smiling as you extended your hand toward Jason.

He chuckled, accepting your hand and allowing you to pull him toward the bathroom. 

As you entered the bathroom, the warm glow of overhead light filled the space making you both feel instantly relaxed. 

You released his hand, allowing you to turn the faucet on.

As the water ran warm you turned to Jason who had already taken off the majority of his clothes back in the bedroom.

The only things left on him were his slacks, which seemed to fit his muscular legs like a glove.

Jason smirked as he noticed your attention. 

"You first darling."

You smiled. "What?"

"As much as I love that dress," he paused, "I'd much rather have it on the floor right now." 

You laughed as you quickly moved the thin straps off your shoulder shrugging the dress off completely.

Standing there in your strapless bra and underwear you began to feel stupid. 

But the look on Jason's face wiped the embarrassment away. He was positively entranced. 

"Well," you teased, "what are you waiting for then?"

He chuckled as he dropped his pants leaving him only in his underwear. 

Your eyes widened. 

You had seen him without a shirt multiple times this week but to see almost his entire body was something else. 

As stupid as it sounded, his chiseled body made your mouth water.

"Sweetheart," he said, "you're beautiful."

Heat flooded your face at the compliment. 

Sure you had been complimented on your appearance before but hearing those words from Jason sent shivers down your spine. 

The blush intensified as he moved closer.

His strong arms wrapped around your waist pulling you flush against his chest.

"You're beautiful too," you spoke into his chest. 

You felt a low chuckle from him. "Thank you." 

 He kissed the top of your head before releasing you and motioning to the tub. "Ladies first."

"Why thank you, kind sir," you joked as you stepped into the tub.

 As you sat down, Jason joined you on the opposite side of the tub. It was a tight fit but comfortable nonetheless. 

"So," he began, "do you have any plans for the New Year?" 

You shook your head as you figured out where this was going. "No, why?"

He grinned. "How do you feel about attending a family dinner at Wayne Manor?"

You smiled. "Is there food involved?"

Jason shook his head, chuckling lightly. "Alfred usually makes more than we can eat."

In the chaos of the past two days you had forgotten about the butler. You hoped he was doing okay and you wouldn't mind meeting him in person. 

"Sounds perfect."

He nodded, looking down at his hands. "There's something else."

Shifting so your legs were pulled to your chest you looked at him curiously. "What?"

His eyes met yours. "Would you be okay with meeting my entire family?"

For some reason his question made you laugh. The man had just met your entire family plus your ex, the least you could do was meet his family. 

"I'd love to," you replied.

His face brightened and he reached for your hand pulling you to him.

As you settled comfortably against his chest so the two of you sat on the same side of the tub you felt his fingers gently move through your hair.

"They'll be excited to meet you," he said, twirling a strand of hair around his finger. 

"Oh?" You asked. 

"Yeah," he paused, his hand pausing in its movements. "You're um... well you're the first person I would be bringing home to the manor." 

You felt your heart skip a beat. "Really?"

He nodded. "You're the first person I've felt comfortable enough around to bring home."

You tilted your head slightly to look up at him. "Thank you." 

He shrugged. "Don't thank me yet. You'll have to meet everyone first and then decide if you want to thank me."

Smiling, you fell back against his chest. "Oh, they can't be that bad." 

He shook his head. "Trust me, they are."

You decided to leave it at that since he wasn't going into much detail. 

Instead, you closed your eyes and allowed yourself to relax fully against him as his fingers continued to move through your hair.

This was the perfect way to end the night. 

However, that thought was interrupted as you remembered how much hairspray and makeup you had on you that needed to be washed away. 

"Jason?"  you whispered.

"Hmm?"

You paused questioning whether or not you wanted this to end. 

"Do you mind if we move to the shower?"

He smiled. "Not at all."

After carefully stepping out of the tub and moving over to the shower you turned the showerhead on to let it get warm. 

You couldn't help but let out a contented sigh, feeling the tension of the day melt away as the water cascaded over your body as you stepped into the shower. 

Jason stepped into the shower behind you allowing the water to make its way down his chest. 

You watched as the water droplets glistened on his skin, accentuating every muscle on his chest. 

You were so distracted by the man in front of you, that you failed to realize him reaching for the shampoo behind you. It wasn't until the lavender scent hit your nose that you realized what he was doing. 

Jason Todd was washing your hair. 

And he was doing a damn good job of it. 

It was so relaxing to be cared for. 

You felt his fingers gently move over your scalp and your knees almost gave way.

As he rinsed that last bit of shampoo from your hair and added conditioner, to only the ends you admired, you decided it was his turn to be cared for. 

Picking up the shampoo bottle from where Jason had set it down, you put a good amount of soap in your hand before reaching up to wash his hair. 

After some maneuvering on his end, you were able to quickly clean and rinse his hair before deciding to quickly wash the rest of yourselves. 

After stepping out of the shower and drying off you both headed back into the bedroom to grab your pajamas for the night.

Once you found Jason's shirt it didn't take much convincing for him to allow you to wear it to bed. 

You held it up to him.

"Please?" you questioned. 

He rolled his eyes affectionately. "You can wear my shirt whenever you want."

You giggled, walking back into the bathroom to change out of your wet undergarments and into the warm fabric of Jason's shirt and a pair of your softest underwear. 

After coming out of the bathroom you found him sitting down on the edge of his bed, wearing only a pair of black boxer briefs. 

"Ready?" he asked, patting the spot next to him.

You walked over to join him. 

As he shifted, pulling the covers over the both of you, you sighed contently as you snuggled close to him, enjoying the feeling of his warm presence. 

His arm came around you and held you close as he rested his chin on the top of your head.

You smiled as he kissed the top of your head before you fell into a deep comfortable sleep.

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