Kendall Fielding

Holland listened and nodded slowly as she explained everyone. “Bailey? Wait…your last name is fielding right? I went to school with a Bailey Fielding…we still sort of stay in touch.” Holland said as she thought about it. “And I would never hurt you. I’m rubbish at kicking ass’ though so I’m glad she’s got that covered.”

“Yep, like the big ole sprawl of grass.” Kendall spread their hands out. “Wait, you know my sister? That’s so weird.” They frowned. “One of my friends is...oh fuck I forgot his name. But she’s a Casey and apparently you’re friends with them, too. Damn, who aren’t you friends with?”

Holland: Okay well, don't puke. It's going to be okay. Call me if you need to, I'd say come over but running off right now is probably not a good idea.

If Jackie was drinking the alcohol, she would’ve choked when Kendall told you. “Holland Macey? As in a Holland Macey who works at Calderon’s? She’s Sebastian’s best friend. That Holland? She’s kind of the one who helped me through the whole…” she paused, unknowingly how to bring up the whole attack. “She helped me when this guy came and attacked me.” She shrugged. She let out a breath through her nose, holding out her hand. “Bottle.”

“Yeah, that Holland. It’s a small fucking world, huh.” Kendall snorted as Jackie paused. But then she said what she said and the smile fell from their face. “I’m sorry he what?” They snapped up, looking at their friend with a shocked expression. They took a moment, knowing they were a little drunk, to pass the bottle and process what Jackie had just said. “Can I kill him or something because what the fuck.”

“Jesus Kendall, Sam Casey?” Bailey replied. “You’re friends with his little sister.” Bailey put her hands over her face. “It was a mess because I lied and told him I needed to get help Brax with something after I kissed him and then ignored him for weeks, because I can’t deal with the possibility of working with someone that I love and commitment.”

“Oh, Jax. Duh.” Kendall felt dumb. “Dude, did you seriously ghost him? If Jax finds out she’s gonna kick your ass. She’s like me but, like, actually athletic.”

Bailey folded and old shirt angrily. “I don’t know, Kendall. Maybe I’d like her a little more if you told me about it beforehand,” she replied. “What am I supposed to do? Just be like ‘ooo yay! golly gee, my sister has this biological sister now, guess I’m just kicked to the curb.’?”

“What the fuck?” Kendall snapped their head up. At first, they weren’t that mad. Sure, they’d been annoyed that there was no ‘congrats you did something with your brain!’ when they announced their news, but that was it. But the thought that Bailey would think they’d just shove the sister that was there from the start to the side? No. That wasn’t going to happen. “Do you really think that little of me? Like, what the fuck dude. You think that just because I found someone with some fucking DNA that matches some of mine she’s going to replace you? You think I would do that?” Kendall didn’t mean to shout. “Even Holland knows better than that.”

Alec put his hands out her shoulder. “Hey, hey, you did not just ruin your family Kendo. I promise. They’re family, they’re going to love you unconditionally.”

“Yeah but I just...Me and Bail got into a huge fight right before I left for school and we left a lot unresolved. And I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to have Holland over for actual family shit because of this.”

“Yeah, but you’re family is actually kind of cool. At least from what I’ve seen of them.” Which admittedly hadn’t been that much but anything had to better than his step-dad. “You got any new year’s resolutions?”

“Oh, yeah they definitely are. And they’re all taller than me so it makes it easier for me to kick their shins.” Kendall grinned wickedly. They were not lying. They did kick lots of shins when they were younger. “Oh, I dunno. Get out of my head, face my fears, kick more shins...graduate from Ilvermorny.” Ken snorted. “Kinda wanna go skydiving. Can I make that a resolution?”

Alec blushed when Kendall kissed him. If he was being honest, if she didn’t close the space, he probably would’ve. “No, no, it’s okay. You don’t have to be sorry.”

“Really? Cuz that was just...I mean yeah I kissed you.” Kendall felt their cheeks redden as the embarrassment settled in. That wasn’t the first time they’d considered doing that, but now that they kissed him it just felt...weird. 

Jackie took a swig and then handed the bottle over. “Okay, so who is it? Do I get to know her name?”

“Uh, Holland Macey. She’s a healer out in California. You probably don’t know her.” Kendall swished the contents of the bottle around before taking another sip. “She’s nice. I don’t have to worry about her.”

Jett smiled over at her, “Yeah, much better than being with my family.” Jett had wanted to get out of the house desperately over break. “You look great, by the way.”

“All my family is in there.” Kendall scrunched up her nose. At Jett’s compliment, Ken’s face went slightly back to normal, just a little pinker. “Thank you, I, uh-- you too.”

Alec’s eyes widened. “Wait, what? Like a biological sister? Wait, what? Okay slow down.”

“Yeah.” Kendall exhaled. “It’s a mess, I think I just ruined my family.”

It was awkward after the family dinner. Bailey was staying at the old house for the night, in her old room, and it felt weird now since Kendall said all that stuff. Part of Bailey couldn’t feel bad, she still hung onto the letter her parents gave her, the necklace her parents gave her before they left her, part of her wished for a relationship with her biological parents just like Kendall did. Though, part of Bailey wanted to scream. This sister, this sister wasn’t planned at all, this she didn’t see coming. Bailey was always the big sister, and suddenly there was another big sister in the picture. What if that changed everything? What if Kendall left her? So after Kendall retreated to her room, Bailey retreated to her old room, and she cleaned. A weird nervous habit of hers. When Kendall entered she didn’t stood, she wasn’t sure what to say to her young sibling. “I don’t know,” was her answer. “I guess maybe.” She shrugged.

“I...yeah. I would be, too.” Kendall sighed. She looked at her hands and picked at her nails. “I didn’t mean to find Holland. I was looking for my mom, I just wanted to know why...I don’t know what I wanted.” Kendall watched as a small bubble of blood popped up on her cuticle, not feeling the pain. “I think you’d like her.”

Ian had sat in silence for longer than he’d care to admit. He hadn’t expected Kendall’s admission, hell, he hadn’t even expected any kind of admissions at dinner. But now he couldn’t stop thinking about how much he had apparently missed. His grip on his cutlery was so tight that his fingers were white from the grip as the thoughts ran around his mind, guilt mixing with fear at the consequences of his youngest daughter’s actions. He knew it was going to be difficult with her growing into a woman now, he knew he would struggle with the fact that his little girl was no longer quite so little, but he never expected something like this.

Sure, the idea of her finding her blood relatives had always been a possibility, but he had thought, no, he had hoped she wouldn’t have felt that she had to do that alone. Did she think he wouldn’t allow it? That she had to stay away from them because this was her family now? Did she think they’d feel abandoned? The last question seemed to resonate within him. If she had excluded them out of fear of how they might feel she’d certainly stuffed that right up. This was so much worse, finding out afterwards, finding out that despite raising her she didn’t seem to have trusted him with the information, finding out that she had not only kept it a secret but stayed with this woman without even telling him.

What did she even know about her anyway? She was still a kid, she didn’t know whether this woman could be trusted, she hadn’t done her research, she hadn’t asked him to look her up, and, judging by Bailey’s shock, she hadn’t gone to her either. She was being reckless, childish, and yet, as angry and terrified as that made him, he couldn’t help but be worried for her in this moment. How must she be feeling after such an admission? She had gone to her room so quickly, she must be anxious about their reaction.

With a heavy sigh he loosened his grip, letting his knife and fork fall to the plate with a clattering that cut through the silence Kendall had left in her wake. He had to talk to her, and as much as he wanted to ask her a million questions, to berate her for her reckless behaviour, he knew he had to make sure she was alright first.

He was at her door before he even realised it, the thoughts racing in his mind preoccupying him from the actual steps he took to get there. With yet another sigh, one he knew would not be the last of the evening, he knocked firmly on her door, attempting to soften it somewhat from his usual gruff knock. “Kendall,” he called out, making an effort to keep his voice gentle. “Can I come in?”

@kendofielding

Kendall was laying face first on her bed. Trying to focus on her breathing. In. Out. In. Out. But maybe it would be easier if she just stopped altogether because fuck she didn’t want to face this. She could feel the tears on her face, or maybe it was her imagination. She was just so...numb. All of a sudden, Kendall was numb. Her breathing was faster, which was probably a bad sign. But honestly, Kendall didn’t quite care.

Her arms pulled the stuffed bat she won at the Fall Festival closer to her, trying to find something else to think about other than how angry her family must have been at her. She just dropped this massive bomb on them and ran away. Would they even want to keep her now that she found blood relatives? Like, Kendall knew she wasn’t much. She could dance, sure, but she wasn’t brave like her father, nor was she strong like Bailey. She couldn’t play sports, and she wasn’t funny, she was just...there. 

Should she start packing? Was Ian going to kick her out? This was the only home she’d known. Sure, she liked Holland, but Holland wasn’t her family. She was-- but not in the way the Fieldings were. She wasn’t there when Kendall was a baby, she wasn’t there when Ian’s wife left. Holland was just there for this mess. And yes, Kendall loved her, but she wanted her family, too. 

The pillow that Kendall had shoved her face into to try and smother herself was soaked with tears. Kendall was crying. She turned her face and looked at the wall, her breathing finally slowing down. At least she’d be at school soon enough. A few more days and she wouldn’t have to deal with this anymore. She could avoid them for forever if she wanted to-- move in with Alec once they graduate and never speak of this again. That gave her the smallest bit of hope, but she never wanted to leave her family.

  God. why was Kendall so dumb? Why did she do this? She knew it wouldn’t end well, she knew her family would be upset, so why did she do it? She began to feel regret seeping through her pores. She was spiraling deeper and deeper into her pity party when she heard the knock on the door. 

Dad. Kendall picked up her wand and pointed it at the door, giving it a little flick to open the door all the way. She didn’t trust herself to speak, not yet, not until she knew what was going on in his head. Instead, she shifted on the bed, making room for him to sit. 

Holland: Don't puke. Deep breaths. What happened?

“No, not a boy toy,” Bailey replied. “Just a boy trouble. One of the Casey boys and I kissed and now everything is kind of a mess.”

“Oh! I have no idea who the Casey boys are!” Kendall said with mock enthusiasm. “Bailey, I need more than that. Why was it a mess? Did he have poo breath?”