Safe Space For Thought

My man, it’s hard to believe and can seem even harder to accomplish independently, but I promise you, YOU WILL get there. I’ve been on my own since the age of 14, and just struggled endlessly to get to where I’m going. But, I stayed committed to working and when I say working, not just a job. I’d changed jobs A HUNDRED times before nailing my dream job. Completely unqualified but determined to make a difference and boom, here I am. 3 years later, still not rolling in the dough but I’m making it work. You can do this. I believe in you. I don’t even know you bro, but I know the struggle you’re living and I know how your shoes fit. You’ve got this. If you can look in the mirror and know who you are in your heart of hearts and come out to friend and family and own the fuck out of who you are, then I know you’re strong enough to accomplish this.

Take advantage of living as a minimalist. Save up on the extra $12 it costs for Netflix or the dope ass dinner for just one weekend. Next thing you know you’ve got $200 in your account. If you want it bad enough, you’ll find a safe spot for that cash that you won’t touch. That’s your future in cash form. Invest it into a simple bank CD and let it go man. Get to work, direct deposit $20, $30, $40 + a week or every 2 weeks and now you’re cooking with Crisco.

Now, don’t think I’m not listening to you. I understand 100% that you’re against your state right now. You can still get this done but it’ll cost you more. That’s a different beast that I can’t attest to, but my level-headed advice says, be bigger than that political deficiency. It’s an excuse. The majority of the 50-Nifty are surprisingly progressive and there’s ways around this and the benefits of “insurance”.

If you’re not living in a state that’s even mildly in tune with the broad acceptance of Equal human rights then my dude, just move. Why in the world would you stay there a moment longer?

Man up, grab life by the balls and fucking send it. GO GET WHAT YOU DESERVE!

Anyway. Take this all with a grain of salt and do with it what you will.

Hey brother! I’d love to help however I can. Before you kick off a go fund me, look into what your state can offer. I was baffled to find out that my governor actually is pro trans and makes sure that all insurance companies, if you have a policy in the state, will cover most of the procedure. Check into it!

Worst case scenario, it’s a cash game from the get-go.

Work, work work - save, save save! What’s your goal, where are you at?

I’m more misgendered by myself than I ever am by others. It takes everything within my own being to put it out of my head. 2 years and a month after my first injection, 2 weeks post op top surgery and BOOM BABY; Welcome gender affirmation! I’ve always been a masculine “female”. The tomboy, the rough and tough butch. Ugh. I HATED being called butch. Or even lesbian for that matter. I wasn’t a lesbian. As much as people wanted to just settle and call it that. I tried tirelessly to explain that I was more. I am more. Now, here we are, several years, choices and milestones later. Here ya go madafackas! Everything I told you it would become it has and now it’s time to set my sights higher.

I CANT FUCKING WAIT FOR MORE!

Im hungry for success. I’ve never been hungry for acceptance, I’ve always just done what it takes. It’s success and comfort I’ve ached for.

Now that I’ve hurdled this weight without the support of all my “lifelong” friends or my mother and father, and a few other peers, and I’ve done it. Achieved more than they fathomed, quite honestly; more than any of them ever balled up and did and I’m happy.

Who gives a fuck what anyone else is doing, DO YOU! Even if you’re a twin, you come into this world alone and you’ll go out like that. Make the most of YOU, of who YOU are. Be happy kid, you deserve it.

I was right.

My parents were young when they had me. They were both relatively broken people that found one another. Neither one of them were who the others parents wanted for their child. But isn’t that what being young and in love is about?

I was an only child so I felt incredibly dependent on their existence. I never wanted to be a disappointment. The blame would have no where to go but on me. I had seen what they’d do to each other when something went wrong and I was afraid of exploring that.

We weren’t well off but what we did have put on a pretty good facade for those around us to believe that we had it good. As I got older I realized how much they relied on other people to make sure ends were met.

At 19, I moved in with a girl I had known for about 6 months who I had met at a pizza place we were both working at. We were also working on getting the power turned on in our new apartment and after a quick credit check, we found out that my parents had used my name and social security number several times over the years to keep their lights on among other things, of course.

So.much.debt.

I called my mom pretty immediately after I found out and when I brought it up she denied it and hung up. When she called later she was crying and angry at me for thinking she would ever do that. When I told her they identified the places that my name was paying for happened to be at our old address, she said, “whatever, *insert old dead name* believe what you want.”

About a week later my father called me to tell me he was sorry for what happened and that my mother was so upset and embarrassed that she couldn’t admit it to me. After all, they had moved into the basement of my grandparents house where I had been living for about a year (18-19) to get out of a very toxic and abusive relationship from high school.

My parents couldn’t have me at their house, my room had turned into storage and moldy walls from water damage and neglect. They were so mad that at the age of 14 I had chosen a girl and her family who accepted my sexuality that they told me to not come home. That they had given up.

At 18, after the last 2 years of it getting too abusive and damaging, I had to get out of that relationship. My uncle has just died of a massive heart attack while living with my grandparents (yes, the same grandparents) and they were glad to have me around.

Ive been with the same wonderful girl for the last 7 years. She accepts me and she too didn’t have it easy growing up. We get one another on a level I could have never imagined. Truthfully, without her help, I don’t believe I would have gotten to be where I am today. Happy, successful and as of yesterday at 12 noon, I’m in the body I knew I have always been meant to be in.

Now I’m here to get this thing going. Thanks in advance for listening!

Disclaimer about the username; don’t pass on by, don’t hesitate to say hey and don’t be afraid to spread love wherever you feel it’s needed.

Keepitmovn is just my way of staying positive.

It’s tough to stay down when you’re keeping it moving!