GirlStellar

Made the god awful decision of trying Mountain Dew zero sugar…uh uh. Fuck no. RUH ROH raggy. Abso-fucka-lutely not. Took one sip then cracked open a real Mountain Dew to taste god again. Hopefully someone else in my house likes the taste of ass because otherwise that six pack of zero sugar Mountain Dews is gonna stay here for so long it’ll get folk lore treatment and become part of a mythos.

:P I totally didn’t procrastinate updating my blog for like a month again. To recap the choir camp experience:

My sister and I talked to basically no one(which we prefer generally, it was nice) there was one breakfast where we had to sit with a few folks and the guy at the table was debating “are there more doors or wheels”. I, of course, love philosophical debates and this is as close as I can get sometimes, so I join in. My sister and I have a new reputation of being freaks. Which I find very fun. She said her requirement for something being a door is that a human limb can fit through it(I disagree, but anyways) this led the main guy(who wore the same fedora the entire trip btw) to then say “So…babies?” …the conversations quickly turned to “how absurd of qualifications can we create”. I believe “a door is an entryway you can fit a baby arm, attached to a full baby, through.” may take the cake on absurdity. It also says something about me that this makes entirely logical sense to me, I solely take issue with the fact that we got to babies from breaking windows. There were jumps made. I got side tracked. My sister and I now have a reputation amongst the band kids of the trip and it’s for talking about baby limbs being a method of measurement in relation to identifying doors. The entire alto section, our two alto advisors, and the choir director(who was super awesome! Genuinely a gift to of been able to perform in one of his choirs) thought I was the older sibling between my sister and I. She’s 21. We have a 3 and half year age gap. Feel free to do the math. While on one hand that is fueling my insecurities, on the other hand I’m aware of the fact that I fit the oldest daughter archetype very well. Like yes, I’m the one who’s blatantly looking after her and I. I cook, I handle money, I’m remembering the numbers. It just keeps surprising me because it’s so obvious to me how dependent I am on her and how easily she could manage without me, that our dynamic of me being the little sibling is so clear in my mind. The director came into our practice rooms to get all of our names checked off a sheet music list, and he asked who’s the oldest sister because he was confused, we clarified, and all the adults in the room were staring at us and saying something similar to “wait really? I wouldn’t of expected that.” When I, comedically(I tried at least), asked why they assumed I was older, everyone had an answer related to the fact that I’m always taking the lead. They’re not wrong, I do. I just seriously didn’t realize how “older sibling coded” I am until the trip. And there’s more examples! Just wait lol. The second biggest thing to happen during camp is that I spilled nail polish on the dorm desk while painting my nails and watching Santa Clarita diet. Mind you, at home this hasn’t happened in literal years. Years. To summarize everything there I had a four hour long cry-fest and anxiety attack(I believe anxiety and not panic bc my anxiety had been like gearing up the entire month before, it was sorta inevitable I’d have a freak-out at some point). You may be thinking, why were you freaking out sm? Valid question. I don’t like messing up, causing trouble, doing things wrong. Etc. and I couldn’t manage to clean the nail polish fully so I was terrified that on an already expensive trip I’d be costing my Ma money to fix my stupid mistake that I could’ve prevented by there being damaged to the dorm. Luckily she was able to drop off nail polish remover the next day and it came off super easily. The desk looked brand new. I am so legitimately very thankful for that.

Okay, last-ish thing for this post. I became an ascot whisperer our send-off concert day. How so? I was helping everyone tie their neck scarves(part of our uniform to make the entire choir look more cohesive). I have never experienced girls bathroom camaraderie before and when it happens it really is so fun. There were two girls who needed one huge scarf cut into two so they could wear it. I brought a sewing kit because sewing is one of my hobbies and I figured it could come in handy. Obviously, I bring out my scissors. The scissors are entirely plastic and do not work at all(I haven’t had to use my travel sewing kit before in my defense, alright) but luckily for us four days before I went to a Joe’s Crab Shack for the first time and stole one of their yellow crab shuckers that say “I stole this from joes crab shack” on the side(how could I resist? The nail polish I mentioned earlier? All three stolen. I feel like I would blossomed during prime tumblr. Probably good that I didn’t) so yes, these two random girls and I(and the audience that amassed in the restroom) experienced the incredible glee that is discovering a crab shucker works excellently as a seem ripper. The cheers. I’ve never heard a louder chorus of delight. It was so funny. And so awesome. It started the cuts very well but the body of the scarf had to be ripped, either way it was a success! And then a few other girls had me use the crab shucker to rip out their tags. It was so fun. I love being useful, even better when I can do it in a ridiculous way.

Whew. Yes this is lengthy. Yes I’m leaving it like this. No I’m not gonna go grammar check. I’ve accepted that this is a digital diary that just won’t get interaction and that’s honestly not a bad thing. So to the people who randomly might read this, it will likely stay very messy. Thanks for stopping by though!

No major updates but I’m at the choir camp!! My sister and I get to stay in a college dorm which is honestly pretty fun. It’s super duper fuckin hot outside though which sucks given my usual fashion of hoodies and black pants of some sort. My gran was so incredibly sweet and took my sister and I shopping for clothes for the Europe trip though, so luckily I have weather appropriate clothing for Europe, but because of our schedule I don’t wanna dirty up any Europe clothes while at camp so I’m stuck with my not-so-weather appropriate clothes while we’re here. I have two fairly cute sports dresses(? Not sure what they’re called) so hopefully I don’t freak out while wearing those because of how gross I feel in my body some days.

So, speedy first day recap:

I love my grandparents to death but I’m not sure if my gran should be on the road anymore(it was terrifying) I still have the impressive habit of needing to quadruple check then at least double check every bag Started annotating a book for the first time. I don’t know if there’s a “right” way to do it but so far I’ve been doodling, writing jokes, pointing out quotes, posing questions, answering them, theorizing, and such. I’m enjoying it so far but annotating while on the road(not driving dw) is not for the weak(I am the weak). Went to a crab shack for the first time. Stole one of the crab leg things from a crab shack for the first time. Just kidding ;] also did not realize how expensive food would be so I got $18 fish tacos that were decently worth it. Perhaps I’ll go for a birthday some year. I’ve really been wanting to try a seafood boil. Got settled into a dorm for camp! The bathrooms are separate and they’re individual rooms with their own showers. It’s a bit odd but it’s probably way cheaper than every dorm having their own bathroom and way more private that just shower stalls, so I won’t complain. The beds are cozy but I also prefer hard beds and don’t sleep with blankets(if I’m not freezing and I don’t have a fan going I will not sleep well) so maybe I’m not a good reference on that. The dorm layout is really nice but our schedule has us up at around 6:30 and out until 10 all 3 days. So not much time to chill in the dorm. I will say though they give us an hour for every meal. We can only go to one spot on campus but the meals are free and we get an hour to do whatever every meal, which is pretty nice. I’ve heard of way worse so I’m really grateful they organized it this way. Anyways other than a three hour rehearsal I’ve spent the my time since I got here organizing TikTok’s, drafting tumblr posts, and playing a mahjong app. A mahjong game that I’m worried may rely on ai too much but I can’t actually figure out many details and it’s one of the few things helping distract my anxiety rn so I’m not gonna stress over it just yet. Oh I also rinsed off in the terrifying, not incredibly private, showers and didn’t scar someone or myself. So that was nice. Remember when I called this speedy? Yeah. That was funny(also I messed up the dates on my last post because I take so long to write these. I’ll write a post summing up my next three days before I fly out hopefully)

So, it’s been four months. I’ve gained weight, I’m up to 228. And I’m going on a trip to Europe in about 13 days, and to I leave to another city in my state in 8 days. For context, I’m with a music group which is why I’m going to another city to practice with the entire choir then we all leave for our Europe trip together.

So this is gonna be a huge post just going over my life in the past 4 months.

Gym

In between my last update and now, my mother has switched our previous gym subscription for Planet Fitness. She mostly did this because it’s cheaper, but also for the better hours. Since joining planet fitness I’ve tried to go at least once a week to do a thirty minute walk on the treadmill. The photo above shows the four most recent times we’ve gone to the gym, since I didn’t take a photo the first time we went. The last row is a photo from the stair master, which is from the same visit as the treadmill photo above it. Taking photos honestly feels so rewarding because I get to see my progress in certain areas from the first trip to now

Meals

Here’s some homemade meals from the past few months!

Left to right, top to bottom: Oikos vanilla greek yogurt with granola, coconut shavings, cinnamon, and caramelized banana. Chocolate chip banana bread(first time making, it was delicious!). Shitty chocolate chip pancakes with maple syrup and strawberries, it tasted good but I have no talent for cooking pancakes. Avocado toast with a overcooked sunny side up egg(how I prefer it) with a sliced apple. An attempt at recreating the jalapeño cream cheese tornados I like from speedway, it was okay but needs some work. Pulled pork quesadillas with homemade jalapeño ranch. Beef, onion, and potato Japanese curry with white rice. Trader Joe’s Cajun chicken fettuccine Alfredo pasta(so delicious dude. That photos from last night and I’m slowly being converted into a Trader Joe’s gal), instant mashed potatoes with bacon bits, and microwaved broccoli lol. My best dish I’ve learned to make, last but not least, salmon bowls/hand rolls!! My sister eats it as a bowl but I actually like to make hand rolls. It’s just the hello fresh recipe with a few changes :P and my sister loves it.

School

I’m in online school and currently I have about 5 classes and 4 electives left. I think I can totally finish it all up by the time school usually starts/before fall semester, so I’m feeling good on that front. I’ll still keep y’all updated on how that goes and what my schedule looks like on days where I’m trying to cram a lot of work. I will admit I’m super stressed about school but because I’ve the trip I have coming up I’m trying to chill.

Other

I started using an app called Daylio, it’s a habit tracker. It’s honestly pretty great. You can customize the habits pretty well without having to pay money and you can add photos to your daily entries. I like using it to track my workouts and kinda just to take a photo of myself everyday. Visualize my change. I’ve also made a good reads and I put all of my physical tbr onto it! Physical tbr is at 104 rn so no more buying books unless there’s legitimately good reason(I’ve been on a book and game buy for a while but I still haven’t caught up to all the stuff I have.) I’m also working on organizing all my favorites TikTok’s. That’s a big endeavor. I’ve been doing that for a while but we’re just not gonna get into her <3 lol.

Our Beloved Source of Edits

Keebercad here!

I love these protein shakes. My Ma got a pallet of them from a friend who bought way too many so we got the extras 💪. I got a sugar free salted caramel syrup to mix in as well(0 cals and elevates the flavor sm imo) but I also really wanna try the chocolate ones when I run out.

So, currently drinking this and doing online classes, which usually I get through a class really quickly but I personally despise this digital literacy course. It’s like they’re trying to teach morals while teaching “netiquette” and while I agree entirely that teaching respect and kindness is so important their pushing past being a generally good person and adding their own morals. For example, there was literally a section that said you should delete any beach photos or not post them because it would be inappropriate for your boss or others to see you in a bikini. ???. 1. We need to stop treating the human body like it is inherently sexual. Ill keep this simple and short(ish) because no one follows a persons wl blog to hear their morals but if you see someones body and start to think of them “sexually”(I can’t figure out how to word this RN) that’s a YOU thing. Everyone has a body and they do not have to “regulate” it for your comfort. 2. If my boss can see me at a beach irl in a bikini, then they can see me online in a bikini. Okay I’ll stop this here because otherwise I’ll rant for hours but the modesty(and so many other things) and shit their pushing in this unit really annoys me for so many more reasons too.

Whew. That was long. Hope I didn’t bore anyone(no one reads this lol)

Anyways I’m really trying to burn through these units because I wanna get at least 80% done by new year and I’m at 71% rn. I’ll update more later. I’m back two hours later after doing some Christmas decorating and a few classes.

Currently waiting for my bread to finish toasting while I make a pre-practice sandwich. What is the practice you ask? Well sparing and combat practice for the medieval fighting group my sisters in, obviously! Lol. This will be my first time joining so I’m really excited to see how it goes.

Hi. This is keebercad from the day after practice. My arms really hurt. My body is so sore. Anyways. Weight loss and cals are going really well. I’ve been consistent for about 4 days now and I’ve worked out three of those days. I’m on my period RN but I’ll weigh when it’s over. I’m so tired. Keebercad out, my guys.

Keebercad here!

I finally finished what I WAS gonna use as my header. I made it myself and I’ve never done pixel art before, so yes, it’s funky. I’m really glad I finally finished though because I had put it on the back burner months ago after getting frustrated with it. I’m not gonna use it as my header because I don’t wanna have to change it every time I update my points(I’ll explain that in a second.)

I plan on making a post at the end of the each month updating how many points I have. Points are gained by completing tasks(losing 5lbs, Finishing a game, chores, finally fucking writing a resume[pls give me advice], finishing a class, etc.) For this first level I’ve rounded up my points gained while making the header to about 100. At the end of every month I’ll post a photo and a small breakdown of big things I’ve done.

Please refrain from pointing out how ugly my skull is! Lol

No photo today as I figure I should mix it up. Today is the day before my friends wedding(I have one this upcoming Friday too) so I decided to let loose and not count calories, just for today and tomorrow. I don’t want numbers to get in the way of me enjoying time with my friends, though I swear I’m not gonna make it a habit to “let loose”.

When I weighed in today I was still at 212(which is good, I’m not complaining cause no movement is better than backwards movement.) I’ve come to two conclusions with how I weight myself. 1. I’m gonna start paying less attention to the tenth digits (212.4, so the four is the tenth in case I don’t make any sense) because that will fluctuate more easily and I’ve noticed seeing ANY rise in the number really hurts my motivation. 2. I’m gonna weight myself roughly every Friday. This way I have longer between weigh ins to actually see a change.

All right, that’s all for today! I’ll post again tomorrow after the wedding

Keebercad here!

I’m so shit at photos lol. I’ll get better. I’m back down at 212 now(yippie!) and my sister got me a really fun drink while she was out! It’s a little convoluted but it was recommended to me by the barista at the cafe she got it from.

It’s an Italian soda with sprite instead of sparkling water, coconut flavoring, and dragonfruit flavoring. It’s so good! It looks funky cause it’s been sitting while she drove home, but usually it’s less separated.

So, I haven’t really mentioned this yet, but I’m going to my friends wedding tomorrow! And I have another one this upcoming Saturday. That was one of my original motivators to loose weight, and so far I’ve lost 20 pounds! I would be disappointed normally but I’m actually really proud of my progress. I’ll be back tomorrow, but in the mean time

Keebercad here!

Doing a bit of an actual blog post, crazy right? Had one of these protein shakes for breakfast and read a bit of Pride and Prejudice!

My aunt gave me some of the shakes to try and she said they taste great with strawberry syrup - she’s right. If I wanted to be hella fancy I should of poured it into a glass and drizzled the syrup on the side like an influencer, but that’s too much damn work.

Currently at 214.3, which is 3 pounds down from what I weighed in at the start of the week. I’m eating healthy, don’t worry, part of it is my period.

My birthday is currently 6 days away. I’m honestly really frustrated right now, because I’ve been telling myself for years I would change. I would finally loose weight. I would finally finish books. I would finally finish games. I would finally have a clean put together room. I would finally be a good “human”. Well, that hasn’t happened. I’m kinda furious too. I know I’m the one at fault, obviously. But I feel like I’m on my last leg. I wanna go into being a 17 year old feeling like I finally have the life I want. So, my final Hail Mary before I maybe actually go insane. Instead of trying to be a calm, put together person who mediates and is at peace with themself, I’m gonna use all my anger and fuckin rage to burn the person I’ve been! Baptism of fire style. I’m gonna use up all the fuel I have from 16 years of never being good enough, and when I burn out I’m either gonna be a different fuckin person, or too damn tired and done to give a shit who I am. Preferably the first option. No more “oh I still have until yadda yadda to get this done” or “oh but if I just fast tmrw I can do this today” because it never works out that way. I’m cutting back my cals until my birthday cause I just feel so gross from how much I’ve been over eating, even though I’m at my lowest weight. I ain’t gonna doom scroll online and shit. I’m just gonna be an actual fucking person and get shit done. And I’ll update y’all on how that goes.

Keebercad here! With my ma on vacay for the week, I have a few tasks I’ve assigned myself to finish. Once I finish these tasks I’ll update with a post and figure out a little reward because it’s quite a lot I’m putting on my plate!

Task List:

Clean out closet

Clean bedroom floor

Sort all clothing/laundry(donating)

Sort books

Clean said sorted books

Sell and subsequently donate said books

Organize Diamond Dotz stuff

HUNT all trash and get rid of it

Fix purple jar

Clean out boxes(yes all six)

Get rid of said boxes

Reorganize closet

Clean/clear out dresser

Get possible dead spider out of pair of jeans????(spider and the waist band and I banished the jeans behind a closed door. I’m scared)

Organize Xbox stuff in sunroom

Clear out couch stuff in sunroom

Note wl rewards

Alrighty…I’m sure some of this makes no sense without context but I’ll be updating with photos and posts to help me stay motivated! -8/17

Sooooo I totally “let myself go”. I’ve been drinking wayyy too much soda, eating wayyy too much food, and working out wayyy too little. I’ve gained more weight and I’m at about 218 right now. So I have a new plan! ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ

My new current goal: 200 by October 30th! (My b-day)

That’s 78 days from now, so 18 pounds down over 78 days. Doesn’t sound too hard when I think about it. I’ll eat about 1,400-1,500 cals every day, which is what I usually try to eat when I’m actually working on my goals, and work out 4-5 times a week! Currently I’m thinking 1 day swimming, 2 days doing Just Dance, then 1-2 days doing those “Look like a K-Pop idol” YouTube workouts. I’m not gonna do any of the math over how I need to eat and workout to loose that weight because then I’ll get all in my head and stressed out. Though I also have one secret weapon that might be controversial…subliminals. I know that’s a mixed bag for most people but I always feel more motivated when I listen to them daily, so I’ve made myself a weight loss playlist and assigned myself the task of listening AT LEAST once a day, but preferably more.

I decided to start this new plan today because my moms on vacation for the week and therefore it’s just me and my sister here for the week(don’t worry, legal age). Meaning I’ll just feel motivated and like I can work on my own schedule, which is pretty nice!

I also downloaded two apps to help with weight loss. Lose it! And Weigh In. One helps tracks calories and the other is basically just a tracker for daily weigh ins. I’ll probably post updates on the apps but I really like them so far :].

I’m gonna go work on a task post! -8/15

My names…keebercad ig. Can’t use a real name :P I’m using this blog to document my weight loss/glow up. So I’ll have something to look back on, y’know? Not sure how to do blogging…so I probably seem super amateur. I guess I technically am SUPER amateur, but here I am either way.

Just to get some things out of the way, here’s an introduction. I’m 16, white(Irish descent tho I’m pretty sure it’s so far removed that it’s irrelevant) American, and female. I personally think we’d benefit from the social construct of gender not existing, but since I can’t exactly achieve that in one day, you can call me whatever pronouns you want and whatever else makes ya comfortable.

I started this “journey” OFFICIALLY on April 11th(11/4) and as of my writing this it’s June 2nd(2/6).

Start weight and measurements:

Weight: 229 lbs/ 103 KG Neck: 16in Bust: 49.5 in Waist: 41.5 in Hip: 49 in Arms: 16 in and 16 in Legs: 30 in and 29 in

I plan on measuring my self every twenty pounds “down” ish. With that being said the next time I plan to measure myself is when I hit 200 lbs.

My goal weight is 123 lbs. Partly because that’s a healthy weight for my frame and height(5’4~) but primarily because I think it’s a funny number. Do not fret though! I’m aware that body weight fluctuates and just because I reach 123, doesn’t mean I’ll always weigh 123.

Currently I weight 216.5 pounds, which in case you were wondering is 12.5 pounds over 52 days. Admittedly isn’t as much as I’d like, but hey! It’s progress either way. I aim for about 1,400 calories everyday, which for my weight is a 700 cal deficit. Outside of eating I try to lift weights and swim when I can make it into the gym but I also do 30ish minutes of just dance every night.

I plan on updating the weight part of this roughly weekly, but besides that I might post media reviews and such here and there. My planned posts are: interest post(media I like) a goal list, method list, food logs, and…other stuff ╰(*´︶`*)╯