Floo

"Many, many men have been just as troubled morally and spiritually as you are right now."

sentiment from @starpeace

I think this is what's so haunting about banana fish. jk, there are a lot of things that linger when it comes to banana fish. but I think this is what drives the au's where langa and reki or viktor and yuuri are ash and eiji in another life. they crossed oceans to find one another, and found home in another person. where ash (and all associated danger) eventually drew eiji out of his ennui following his retirement and general naïveté, eiji's gentle innocence and compassion (that came without strings) made ash feel safe and loved despite a life riddled with abuse and objectification.

whether you choose to see them as a romantic pairing (vikturi au) or as friends who made one another better through their connection (renga au), the ending they got was heartbreaking. because after everything they survived, everything they sacrificed, having found each other against all odds in the first place - there's no resolution. no happy ending. just more trauma to punctuate a life ensconced in trauma.

ash deserved more. aslan deserved so much more. and he deserved to think that he was worth saving.