prepare a throne of stars above me

What does Karen do in the show again?

First of all, let’s note that Karen appears in every episode in season 1, and in 5 episodes in season 2, 3 and 4, with very little to basically non-existent lines of dialogue in most of those episodes. 

In the first episode of season one, her first appearance is her telling the kids to end their game because it’s a school night and they can finish this weekend. Later in the episode, Will Byers has gone missing and Mike wants to go looking for him, Karen insists he needs to stay home and tells Nancy the same when she asks if she can go out, she also scolds Nancy when she gets upset because she can’t go out “just because Will is missing”.

Ted barely participates/helps, and Karen “hopes he’s enjoying his chicken”, she leaves the room, clearly upset for not getting much backup from her husband.  

In episode 2, Karen is being supportive, letting Mike stay home because he “doesn’t feel well”, she tells him he can talk to her about anything, not to hide things from her, that she’s here for him. 

When Nancy asks to go to the gathering at school for Will, she tells her to be back at 10pm. 

When Nancy gets home much later in episode 3, Karen was up and waiting for her, she is upset, worried, and says Nancy should have called, then she starts asking questions about the sweatshirt Nancy is wearing, and telling her Nancy can talk to her, “whatever happened”, Nancy insists nothing happened and it’s pretty obvious Karen doesn’t believe her and is extremely worried, she looks on the verge of tears as Nancy goes to her room.

Later, Karen visits Joyce with Holly, to bring her food. She is gentle, reassuring, she asks about Jonathan, tells her that if Joyce needs anything, they’re here for her, etc… When Joyce starts acting weird and insisting Holly tell her what she saw in the wall, Karen tries to tell her to calm down, then leaves when told to.

At the end of the episode, Will’s (fake) body is dragged out of the quarry and Mike rushes home, where he runs to Karen for comfort, thinking he just lost his friend.

Episode 4 shows Karen looking extremely saddened by the news of Will’s death, but also very worried for her son, she tries to cheer him up and help him change his mind, and lets him stay home to get some rest, reminding him to call his dad at work if he needs to. 

We then see her sitting next to Nancy while the cops interrogate her about Barb’s disappearance, Karen doesn’t say a word during that scene, but her and Nancy start arguing the moment they get home because Karen knows Nancy lied to the cops, she is visibly worried and upset Nancy did this, and the conversation moves on to what really happened that night: Nancy admits she actually slept with Steve, but it doesn’t matter because Barb is missing and no one is listening to her. Karen says she is, Nancy says “no, you’re not” and goes to her room, leaving an anguished Karen behind. 

Karen appears at Will’s funeral in episode 5, with her children and to show Joyce support.

In episode 6, Ted wonders why Nancy still hasn’t come down to eat with them, and Karen goes to check on her. After getting no answer at all, she lockpicks the door to find that Nancy is gone.

Next, in episode 7, Karen is on the phone with Steve’s parents because she knows “she and Steve have been spending some time together”, she keeps getting interrupted by Mike, but she asks if Steve is home, probably to ask him if he knows where Nancy might be. 

Later, Karen is in the basement and finds El’s little den and a piece of blond hair from her wig when the people from the lab and Brenner show up, and immediately start feeding Karen and Ted lies about how this girl their son may have been hiding in their home is dangerous (Ted laughs at the thought of Mike being around a girl, while Karen very much looks like she understood from what she found earlier than it might be true), Karen asks what this girl did, she is obviously (again) very worried for Mike, and Brenner uses this, telling her that her son is “in grave danger” but they’ll save him, if only she can tell them where he might be. 

In the next scene, Karen says they should be out there, looking for Mike, but Ted insists that they should let the government people do their job, because they’re obviously “on their side”. Karen points out that this man (Brenner) gives her the creeps, and asks if Ted thinks Nancy might be involved in all this. Ted assures her there’s no way. 

In the last episode, after everything is over, Karen and Ted rush to the school, Karen looking clearly scared. She embraces Mike, crying, relieved. She is then seen at the hospital where they wait to hear from Will, and finally in the epilogue, where she tells Jonathan to wish Joyce a Merry Christmas.

So. What does season 1 tell us about Karen Wheeler?

Season 1 Karen is a housewife, a mother who is worried about the safety of her children (something she will keep showing throughout the entirety of the show). A child goes missing and she wants her own to stay home, her son’s best friend goes missing and is later found dead and she is shown trying to reach out, to comfort him. We also see her offering Joyce the same comfort and sympathy.

When it comes to Nancy, we are also shown a concerned mother, someone who is watching her daughter go through puberty, start showing interest in boys and lying to her mother about where she’s going and what she’s doing. She is upset at times, but she is mostly worried and desperately trying to reach out, to remind Nancy that she is here for her, whatever happened. 

We can also see that Ted isn’t the most helpful husband, we always see Karen taking care of the kids while Ted is watching TV or reading the newspaper. We never see them being affectionate and it seems pretty obvious (especially after what Nancy says about her parents) that they probably got married because it was convenient, not because they were in love. 

Karen is also pretty observant: she knows when Nancy is lying at least twice, she makes the connection between the piece of hair from the wig she found and her son actually hiding El in their basement, she notices Brenner’s vibes were off, and she wonders if Nancy might be involved in the same mess Mike is (which, she is). 

In season 2, in episode 1, Karen punishes Mike for stealing from Nancy and being overall rude and misbehaving for months, she states that she knows he’s had a rough year and they’ve been patient, but enough is enough. 

We don’t really see Karen much after that, she only makes very short appearances until episode 9, where we see her relaxing in her bath while reading a romance novel when Billy shows up. She is obviously flustered by his looks, and Billy immediately starts flirting with her, stating he “didn’t know Nancy had a sister”, which flusters Karen even more. Billy says he’s been “worried sick” about his sister Max who’s been missing all day, and that he figured she might be here. Karen invites him in, gives him the Byers’ address and tells him to be careful, then very obviously ogles him as Billy leaves. 

There isn’t much to say about season 2 Karen, as she barely appears and her longest scene is the one she has in episode 9 with Billy. Before that, we only see her acting the same way she was in season 1, parenting her children—or trying to—and receiving very little help and support from her husband.

On to season 3. In episode 1, Karen is at the swimming pool, sunbathing with other moms while reading another romance novel, when they get all excited because it’s “show time”. Music starts playing, slow mo Billy comes out in his bathing suit and sunglasses, looking hot as hell, and the housewives all oggle him. He compliments Karen on her new bathing suit, which obviously pleases her.

Next, we see her swimming, and Billy’s now the one ogling her, he then approaches her, starts flirting, and ends up inviting her to meet him at a motel for “private lessons”. 

Towards the end of the episode, Karen is getting ready to meet Billy, she looks at her wedding ring, hesitates, then takes it off. She goes downstairs, where she pauses before leaving, and looks at Ted asleep on his armchair, with Holly asleep on him. It’s obvious from her expression that she will not go have an affair with Billy.

When we see Karen again in episode 2, she is back at the pool with the other housewives, but she clearly looks uncomfortable. When she sees Billy, she goes find him and tries to explain herself, the exchange goes like this:

“I… I understand if you’re angry with me. I just… I wanted to explain… why I didn’t come last night. It’s not you, it’s just… I have a family. And I can’t do anything that will hurt them. You understand that, right? But I shouldn’t have said that…” (She is interrupted as Billy has some sort of vision of himself bashing her head against a shelf) “Billy… please, will you talk to me?”

“Stay away from me Karen.”

Karen appears next in episode 4, after Nancy got fired. They have a heartfelt conversation, where Karen tells her that “it’s not easy out there Nance, people saying you can’t, shouldn’t, that you’re not smart enough, not good enough. This world, it… beats you up again and again, until most people just stop trying. But you’re not like that, you’re a fighter, you always have been.” She says she doesn’t know where Nancy got it from, Nancy jokes “Dad” and they both laugh, then Nancy says “I get it from you, Mom.” Karen is very emotional, and tells Nancy she’s proud of her for standing up for herself, and that if she believes in this story, she should finish it.  

We don’t see Karen until episode 7, where she is at the 4th of July parade/fair with Ted and Holly. Joyce and Hopper find them and ask if they know where the kids are and Karen admits she doesn’t, she doesn’t think they’re here yet. She starts listing off where the kids have been today and then says she can hardly keep track these days, and it’s summer after all. 

Finally, in episode 8, she comforts Mike after the Byers and El move out of Hawkins.

Season 3 Karen is once again trying to be a supportive mother, and we see her struggling even more with her marriage, even going as far as considering cheating on Ted with Billy before she remembers that she can’t do anything that would hurt her family. 

In season 4, Karen doesn’t appear much either, we see her in episode 1 telling Mike to be home by 9pm because he has an early flight to California the next day, we don’t see her again until episode 5 where she is making breakfast for the kids and says she thinks it’s sweet that they’re sticking together, Ted makes a rude comment about having freeloaders, to which Karen says that they’re always welcome here. 

In episode 6, Karen is horrified by Patrick’s death, she goes to the town gathering like the other parents and looks worried during Jason’s speech, she and the others rush home to look for their children who “should have been back by now” as she thought they were at the cinema. Erica says that they’ve clearly been lied to, and Karen calls the police. 

She is here in episode 7 when the cops interrogate the kids, but she doesn’t really say much, and is only shown running outside when the kids leave, looking worried. 

In the epilogue of episode 9, she is sorting clothes to give away, she doesn’t believe the whole “gate to hell” story they’re talking about on the news, and when Mike comes home, she rushes to hug him and says he’s “never going on vacation again, in fact you can forget about college”.

I feel like a broken record, but… well, season 4 Karen is once again trying to be a good mom, and worrying about her kids. 

Phew. Now that we’ve established all of Karen’s appearances and actions throughout the show, let’s finally get to the reasons why I’m writing this whole thing, yeah? 

Karen Wheeler is a good mom, actually

For the Duffers, Karen Wheeler is nothing more than a housewife and mother in a teen movie, her character doesn't exist beyond fulfilling those roles. Her children live in a horror/monster hunter movie, so do other adult characters like Joyce and Hopper, but Karen doesn’t. Her world is normal, she has normal problems: her husband is boring and unhelpful, her two oldest children are acting up and lying to her about things she can only assume are very normal. 

Karen doesn’t know about the Upside Down because the Duffers don’t want her to. She doesn’t know what her children are really going through because they are lying to her, and because the Duffers don’t want her to. 

Stranger Things only works if there are no parents to get in the way of the children’s adventures. Joyce and Hopper are busy living their own; Dustin’s mom, Lucas and Erica’s parents, Max’s mom and Neil all ignore what is really going on with their children, they are as clueless as Karen is when it comes to where the kids are and what they’re up to, we just see them less than Karen; we don’t even see Steve or Robin’s parents because they wouldn’t bring anything to the story and would only be more obstacles the Duffers would have to get rid of. 

So, considering how we’ve seen Karen behave with her children, and how the scenario is literally forbidding her from ever finding out about what is truly going on, I think it’s really, really unfair when people say she is a bad mom.

In fact, I’ll even go as far as to say that Karen is the best mom in Stranger Things. 

She’s here for her children, she comforts Mike and Nancy when they need, she has told them both multiple times that they can talk to her, she worries about them, and the whole “she doesn’t even know where they are” thing is just bullshit. This happens once, in season 3, it’s the only time where she admits she isn’t sure where they are, and even then, she lists off where she knows (or thinks she knows) they’ve been during the day. In season 2, when Dustin demands to know where Mike and Nancy are and Ted asks Karen because he has no fucking idea, Karen has an answer for both of them. 

Yes, the answers are incorrect, but it’s not her fault both her children are lying to her. 

I think it’s even more unfair—and extremely biased—when people also compare her to Joyce and make it sound like Joyce is the perfect mom while Karen is, if not the worst, not far from it. 

I love Joyce, she is an amazing character, but she is also a hot mess who is barely there for Jonathan throughout the show. Hell, when Karen asks her how Jonathan is doing in season 1—the first thing she asks her by the way—Joyce says that “he’s good at taking care of himself, always has been, you know?” which… well. Sure. He’s also sixteen and his little brother has gone missing and his mom is (in his eyes) losing her mind, you know? 

I’m not here to put Joyce on trial, like I said, I love her character and she is doing the best she can considering her situation and everything that’s happening to her, but she is also deeply flawed and tends to get tunnel vision. She is the one who asks Karen where their kids are in season 3 because she has no idea, she’s also the one who literally abandons her kids and El (who definitely needs all the support she can get) to go to Russia to save Hopper in season 4.

Again, I don’t want to pit those two characters against each other for Mom of the Year, my goal is simply to point out that Joyce, who is often described as The Perfect Mom, is far from being perfect, and Karen, who is often described as The Worst Mom, is… actually mostly doing what a mom should do? 

Yeah, yeah, I know.

But what about Billy?

Let’s go back to how the Duffers treat Karen, shall we?

The season 2, episode 9 scene with Billy is filmed in a funny, even (in my opinion) mocking way. Karen is shown reading a romance novel in her bath, and the man on the cover is very much meant to remind people of Billy: light hair, mullet, strong muscled guy. Karen is clearly flustered the moment she sees him, and we are meant to understand that it’s like this character she was just reading about (and probably fantasizing about) just materialized in front of her. And then Billy immediately starts flirting, and Karen is obviously pleased, she plays along, etc. 

Now, when I look at this scene, my first thought isn’t “ew, she’s ogling a child”, because… well, she isn’t. 

Let me explain. 

The Duffers hired a 23 years old actor to play Billy Hargrove. That is not uncommon, in fact it’s pretty much the norm in most TV shows/movies, and in Stranger Things too. 16-18yo teenagers are very rarely if ever played by actors below 20, but Billy is definitely the one that stands out the most among the teens in season 2, Joe Keery looks more like a teenager despite being older than Dacre Montgomery who has the stubble and body of a guy in his twenties. When I look at season 2 Billy Hargrove, I don’t think “this is a 17yo teenager”, and I’m ready to bet that I’m not the only one. 

Billy doesn’t look like a teenager, because the actor playing him isn’t, and that is the only reason why the Duffers were able to film this scene, and the ones later in season 3.

If Billy had been played by a 17-18yo actor who thus had looked like a 17yo teenager, they never would have been able to make this scene the way it is. They would have been forced to change the tone of the scene entirely, either to completely ridiculous because we’d have seen some kid flirting with a grown-ass woman whose only possible reaction would have been to be like “cute, alright, moving on,” and see right through him; or to indeed make it very predatory, with Karen ogling a teenage boy. 

That was not the intent behind the scene. The intent was to show bored, lonely and horny housewife Karen getting flirted with by a hot young man because they thought it’d be funny. The intent was to objectify said hot young man because they thought it’d be different from what we usually see and make them seem very smart. 

And yeah, this is making fun of Karen. It’s making fun of her loneliness, of her reading romance novels and imagining a thrilling romance for herself, a young, muscular young man showing up to save her from boredom. The Duffers didn’t give a shit about the fact that Billy is 17, so of course Karen, their character, doesn’t.

In season 3, the same intent is there, but multiply it by 100 and just make everything worse. Karen is once again reading a romance novel and her and the other housewives have such boring lives that a young hot lifeguard showing up for his shift is literally the highlight of their day, one they know the timing of; we get the slow mo, the music, the bottom lip biting, everything is there to once again objectify a man because they’re so smart and pro-women being horny, vive le féminisme! 

Anyway, Billy flirts with her, very obviously invites her to have sex with him, she agrees, then changes her mind when she realizes the consequences having an affair could have on her children.

Karen isn’t only made fun of for being a lonely, bored housewife who reads romance novels to escape the reality of her dead romantic and sex life, she is also made to give up on something that made her feel alive, desired, beautiful, to “be a good mother”. Now, I’m not saying that it would have been more “yass girl feminism won” to have her sleep with a guy twenty years younger than her, but… I just find it interesting, you know. She stops being sexual to be a good mother, and fandom decides to ignore/forget/erase all the good things she did as a mother because the way she expressed said sexuality was morally wrong.

Yeah, morally wrong. Because nothing she did was illegal. Even if she had slept with Billy in season 3, it wouldn’t have been illegal. Billy is 18 by then, he’s flirting with her, propositioning her, hell, he’s totally ogling her when she’s swimming, he was also the first one to flirt in season 2, etc. Now, yes, the morally good thing to do would have been to gently let him down in season 2, that’s what should happen in real life.

But Stranger Things isn’t real life, and neither of those scenes are meant to reflect real life. They’re the Duffers having fun, putting their own teenage fantasies of Having Sex With a Mom in their show.

“But the Duffers being a bunch of idiots doesn’t change what Karen did/almost did”. No, it doesn’t. Just like thinking the Duffers are idiots for trying to make Billy a one-dimensional villain who is racist for shock value instead of ever trying to say anything actually valuable about the racism faced by Lucas doesn’t change the fact that Billy said something racist about him to Max. 

And yet, people are quick to jump to Billy’s defense, to make up headcanons, to completely ignore canon, to write posts and posts about how it was out of worry about Max and not really against Lucas (I’m not debating this here, I’m just stating what is being done for Billy) and I see no one doing the same for Karen.

Why? Why is one character butchered by her creators’ misogyny considered an irredeemable monster, subjected to the worst vitriol from a portion of the fandom, when another character, made to say something racist and attack Lucas by his creators’ because “we need to show he’s really bad”, forgiven and rewritten to be better? 

Why is canon ignored for one, and not the other? 

I’m not saying you should be all fine and happy while watching those scenes, in fact, I think it’s good they actually upset people. What I’m asking is why are people more mad at Karen herself than they are at the Duffers’, why I never see people outraged at how her character was used and mocked in those scenes, why no one is writing fix-its for Karen and instead further mocking her and treating her like crap?