Contact Light

“That is the simple secret of happiness. Whatever you are doing, don’t let past move your mind; don’t let future disturb you. Because the past is no more, and the future is not yet. To live in the memories, to live in the imagination, is to live in the non-existential. And when you are living in the non-existential, you are missing that which is existential. Naturally you will be miserable, because you will miss your whole life.”

“Anything you avoid in life will come back, over and over again, until you’re willing to face it—to look deeply into its true nature.”

Shake it off, write it down. Put on some music, any music, music that you like even if no one else likes it, this is about you. Sad, happy, loud, soft, popular, unknown, listen to the lyrics, sing them, lose yourself in them. Stay away from things that trigger you, get off facebook and any social media, stop looking and comparing yourself with others. Crawl into bed, hide yourself under the blankets, give yourself a moment to just be. Close the curtains, don’t feel forced to be social if you want to be alone. Don’t take this moment away from yourself. Eat a piece of fruit, drink some water, just do it, hydrate. Eat some comfort food, but try to keep it healthy. You are what you eat and this body of yours is so beautiful, take care of it. Shower, wash your hair, feel clean. Put on lotion, take care of yourself. Look into the mirror, and for once don’t look at those features you perceive as imperfections. Look at your eyes and see them for the miracle they are: you can see with them. Do you know how incredibly complex your ears are? Your nose, and how it catches molecules to smell them? Your mouth, and all the tastes, so many of them. Your skin, how it protects you against so much, this soft armour. Look at your hands, your hands, think about all the things you have done with them, all the things you have touched, held, reached for. How faithfully they have served you all these years. If you have anyone you trust enough to tell them what is going on in your head, no matter how scary it is, go for it. But do not mistake this for an obligation. Only if you want to, only if you are ready. Find things that make you laugh: google a feel better list of kitties pretending to be liquids, snapchats of crazy dogs, what if animals could text. Read a book, a story, watch an episode (or two) of your favourite show, live the life of someone else. Write about your dreams, your fantasies, and if you really don’t believe you deserve the world, write as if you were someone else until you feel like you do. Be here, in the space and moment. Focus on what you are touching and doing, eating or drinking or just your saliva, what you are hearing. For one second, don’t think of the past or future. Just be. Give yourself time. Today it is okay to not be okay. Today I’m going to sleep and be unproductive and cry a little. And tomorrow? Tomorrow is another day. And no matter how scary or dark it seems, it is and always will be a blank slate. A new beginning. A new chance.

“People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar.”