kaylor fails

On Otcober 18 2018, Karlie Kloss got married to Josh Kushner and prior to that, she made a spotify playlist with her wedding date.

“She isn’t Jewish and didn’t converted” She is and she did. Apart from the fact that a British Vogue video in 2015 showed “meeting a Rabbi” in her notebook, shes’s spoken about it in Vogue in 2018, on WWHL, and recently with Naomi Campbell. Her conversion has also been discussed on various Jewish publications (X) (X). Any further insistence she didn’t convert is antisemitic. There’s only so much ignorance can excuse.

“A thursday wedding is weird” It would be if they were WASP or Catholic. Even then, I’d still call it unusual at best. But they’re Orthodox Jews. Shabbat, a weekly 25-hour observance from just before sundown each Friday through the completion of nightfall on Saturday, would make the usual saturday wedding not possible. For a Jewish couple, thursday is a good day to get married. I could understand thinking thursday is a weird day if you’re not Jewish, but insisting it is after being informed about it, is offensive.

For your information, ttb, a blog run a white, straight, definitely not Jewish woman and followed by many non jewish kaylors, is telling you about Judaism.

I don’t get the “photoshoot” argument. The kaylor fandom is literally build on a Vogue photoshoot actually used for promo (X). It was also a blatant ripoff of Poppy Delevigne and Alexa Chung’s bestfriend shoot (X) (X).

“The wedding was a photoshoot” You know those beautiful wedding pictures you might have seen on facebook or instagram? They were taken by professional photographers. Not by a ghost or potatoes, professional photographers. Yes, you can gasp.

And they are hired to do their job and do it beautifully. I don’t know what kaylors real life wedding experiences are, but there’s this thing called pre-wedding shoots people like doing at their weddings. Yes, it’s a weird world we live in. These pictures end up in a strange thing called wedding book, which will be shown to friends and family, future babies and grandbabies, and unsuspecting guests. Or burned if the marriage ends in a divorce.

Professional videographers are also hired to film the whole thing. From the bride waking up, to her getting her makeup done, her friends being silly, to her leaving her wedding reception. The world is wild.

On the wedding day, the pictures were posted on Hongbo Li’s instagram:

A friend of hers demanded it to be taken down (Karlie follows this friend on IG):

Who is HongBo Li? A comment on a ttb post gave us the answer:

And he’s also mentioned in this Vogue writeup about haute couture. As you can see, he isn’t some random kaylor voraciously living through strangers. he’s actually worked on various celebrities wedding dresses. Karlie didn’t put on a local store wedding dress, she actually had one Dior designed for her. That lucky bitch! I mean oppressed lucky bitch!

Onto the photographer. Her wedding pictures were taken by Heather Hazzan, A NY based photographer and very good and successful at her job:

Again, Karlie didn’t get a random photographer for her wedding, she got the best.The only thing this is proving is that being rich and famous gets you access. And not ony is she rich, she also married an obscenely rich man. The picture of the oppressed.

“There was nothing showing a wedding was going on” Now, that’s a lie. Should Karlie have released a full movie showing every detail? For why? You’d still call her wedding fake:

JK robes and hotdog stands (The guy is Kristine’s boyfriend):

More (X) Go through this tag you lazy bags! I’m tired.

Karlie getting prepared for her wedding (X) (X) (X). An expression you might have while your sister is being forced to fake a wedding:

“None of her friends were there” While I’m sure there’ve been many guestless weddings and they’re just as valid as the populated ones, this doesn’t seem to be one of those.

A childhood friend who didn’t get the memo about this being a stunt:

Toni Garrn, a kaylors appointed ex gf, posted this a whole year after the wedding:

David Geffen showing you’ve been sold a bridge about this being fake:

Ashley Graham speaking about being a guest at the wedding.

“She doesn’t look happy” Uhm, if you say so. Here’s Karlie being an unhappy and miserable being on her wedding day and here she looks devastedly sad looking at her wedding dress.

“There was no wedding reception” As Katy Perry would: “Time, the ultimate truth teller” Here’s the video Karlie posted on her 2nd anniversary showing there was indeed a wedding reception.

A pre-wedded Karlie with Josh and his parents.

Everything pointed to this being a real wedding and not a woods photoshoot you’ve been told it is. I’ve yet to see the magazine spread this shoot was supposedly made for and It’s been 2 years already.

So yeah, Karlie Kloss is married. She’s married and pregnant. Move the fuck on.

If you’re sure of your stuff, come to me with something that isn’t a version of this:

If you’re a kaylor trying to get out of the cult, go through this Joshlie timeline to purify your soul.

But if you’re a firm believer that Karlie is pregnant with Austin Swift’s sperm and she’ll raise the baby with Taylor Swift, there’s no hope for you and you’re disgusting.