Kavufics•Books I Will Never Write•Imagines

Ateez:

Kim Hongjoong:

Starry nights

Park Seonghwa:

Anthos

Memories

Jeongh Yunho:

Divine

Prince

Kang Yeosang:

Welcome

Pregnant

Queen

Choi San:

Baking Confessions

Bittersweet

A dance?

Song Mingi:

Forgotten

Baking Confessions

Jung Wooyoung:

Found; Never lost. [Pt.1]

Found; Never lost. [Pt. 2]

Choi Jongho:

My poems:

Apocalypse: Ateez

“What the hell happened?” San, my brother asked. I’d barged into the small bunker room, shutting the door with force. He walked towards my heaving self, first aid kit in hand.

I gestured to the steel door behind me. Gruesome screams could be heard from the other side, and I knew that I’d woken the dormant zombies.

“I’m sorry,” I panted. “I, uh. I ended up knocking over a vase and they heard me. They ended up trampling over the barricade.” I stood straight, taking the oxygen can from him, inhaling from it. I regulated my breathing before speaking.

“I tried distracting them by throwing the glass on the other side but,” My eyes watered. “They followed me up here, I’m sorry.”

Jongho snapped at me, fire in his eyes. “You just had to fuck it up, didn’t you?”

I swallowed my sobs. “I’m sorry,”

“Well, your sorry doesn’t fix the fact that those fucking zombies are outside the door right now! We were supposed to leave today y/n, we don’t have enough rations left for all of us. For fucks sake would you do something right for once?!”

I was taken aback by his outburst. Yet another set of salty tears welled my eyes. Warm tears escaped from them, rolling down my cheek. “I’m sorry.”

He left us, heading back to the room, slamming the door shut. Through blurry eyes I could make out the figures of the rest, some shook their heads while others sighed loudly. They were disappointed in me.

Of course they are, y/n. You had one job and you ruined it. I quickly bowed to them, whispering an apology before running towards the back of the small house. ____________________________________________

“Hey,” A knock on the door had me looking up. I wiped away my tears and looked at Wooyoung. He stood at the entrance of the small balcony, two steaming cups in his hand.

“Why didn’t you tell us?” He sat beside me, handing me a cup. Milk swirled with small lumps of chocolate, a marble-like design that looked too pretty to drink.

He wiped my puffy cheeks and handed me a tissue to blow my nose. “You should’ve told us you went out to get food.”

I nodded solemnly. “Last night I picked up on a radio transmission from the government. They’d reported that the east side of the country had been wiped out, and that there was a horde of dormant zombies there.” I sniffled.

“And, we’re so close to the east side of the country so I panicked. I sent out a transmission stating that there were people here and someone picked it up.”

“And who was that?” He questioned, sipping from his cup.

“Dad.”

He spat out his drink in surprise. “What?!”

I sipped from mine, a little surprised by his reaction. “Yup.” I played with the laces in my boots. “I went to go see him last night, while everyone was asleep. He was bruised and he looked so tired,”

I looked up at him, he stared at me intently with love. “Nothing like the father I knew before. I spent the entire night catching up with him and I spoke to him about you guys too. That was until he told me he’s dying”

“How?” Confusion and guilt swirled in his eyes but empathy stood out most. He turned his body to face mine, urging me to answer the question.

“He was bitten a few days back, on his leg. He amputated it by himself but because it was done unprofessionally, in unhygienic conditions an infection has been formed.” My nose stung and my puffy eyes painfully held another set of tears.

“He thinks he only has a few days to live.” I said, my voice breaking. “And I examined it. Some sort of bacteria has been formed and it looks so bad, so very bad.”

A warm hand clasped mine as another pair of arms wrapped around my shoulders. I recognised the buffy arms as Jongho sat next to me. “I’m sorry.” He whispered, pulling me into his embrace.

I cried on his shoulder, my tears wetting his ragged clothes. He pressed a kiss against my forehead, rubbing my arms. He kept apologising, whispering sweet nothings in my ear.

“Let’s find him.” I heard a soft voice order. I looked up from Jongho’ chest. They all stood there, gazing at me with soft eyes.

San approached me, squatting down next to me. He picked my fragile body with ease, cradling me against his chest.

“You should’ve told me, y/n.” His soft voice travelled in my ears as guilt settled in. I’d found out the whereabouts of our father and I hadn’t notified my own brother about it.

“I panicked, I didn’t want to get your hopes up. I thought that after confirming he was alive I’d let you all know about him.” I mumbled against his chest.

He nodded in understanding, tightening his hold around me. “I’ll let you off for now, but next time,” he straightens his arms, meeting my blurry eyes. “Anything at all, even if it’s the smallest of concerns, I need to know.”

“You’re the only family I have left, I need to take care of you. Please.” He whispered and pulled me back into his arms. I nodded and wrapped shaky arms around him, sobbing quietly.

The rest of them sat around us, occasionally petting my back or caressing my hair which warmed my heart.

Thank you.

_________________________________________

Apocalypse; Ateez [Pt. 2]

Nine cup noodles later, we were gathered in the middle of the room, a small lamp providing minimal light and warmth to our cold bodies.

I was sitting on San’s lap, my legs spread out over Seonghwa and Yunhos’ thighs. Hongjoong, Yeosang, Mingi occupied the separate stools on the other side of the lamp while Jongho and Wooyoung sat on the floor next to them.

“Y/n you said that your father was in Plasma Heights or what was left of it?”

Plasma heights was a famous office building project back in the days, a few months after the apocalypse the project stopped, now it’s just a dead construction sight.

I nodded against San’s chest, my nose puffy. “Yes, he’s on the 18th floor, the construction site. There aren’t many zombies there. On the floors that is, but there are few dormant zombies around the building.”

He sighed. “Okay, this is going to be difficult.” He rested his head in his hands for a moment before sweeping his hair back up and looking at me dead in the eyes.

“There will be chances we won’t be able to save him.”

I sucked in a breath, all the possibilities filling my brain, adding weight on my shoulder. “We have to go, we have to save him. After 2 years I find out that my father is alive so we’re damn well gonna go save him.” My brother's chest rumbled with determination.

“Okay, okay. We understand San, but we really have to think things through. We have many zombies outside this door, ravaging for more bodies to infect. Our only way in and out is by that window, is that clear?” Yeosang explained seriously.

We all nodded in chorus, equally invested in the conversation. “What if we go on foot?” I asked, glancing at Hongjoong.

“It’s possible but risky, very very risky.” He spoke before a static sound interrupted us.

I hopped out of my brother’s lap and ran towards the radio transmitter at the end of the room. Immediately putting my earphones on, I pressed buttons to activate the transmitter. Footsteps could be heard behind me as all 8 men crammed into the small room.

The receiver’s signals wavered, a faint, broken voice could be heard. “Reporting. A man, aged 54 abandoned in Plasma Heights. Requesting backups immediately. I request all nearby citizens to transmit their whereabouts to help our rescue mission.”

I felt my heart drop. They were talking about dad. Quickly, I switched on the transmitter, tuning it on the same channel as the receivers. “I report eight males and one female in Aura Plaza, Panic room. That’s my father, please let me help him.”

“Okay, I need you to state your name. Do you have any relatives with you?”

“My name is Choi y/n, I have my brother and his friends with me.”

“We need all hands on deck. Please send in your location and pack all necessary items, all the ammo you have. A helicopter will be sent to your Plaza to retrieve you ASAP. We will discuss further details at our HQ before moving forward with the plan.”

“Noted, we will be waiting.”

I turned around to face them. I explained to them the conversation.

“So, do we pack everything now?” Wooyoung asked. I got up, grabbing a waistband with a holster for my gun and nodded at them.

“Yup.” _________________________________________

The loud whirring of blades and harsh winds announced the presence of the flying machine.

“We are going on a trip, on our favourite rocket ship, flying through the sky! We’re little Einstein’s!” Mingi sang in a baby voice. Jongho smacked him on his head, mumbling a shut up to the older man.

I giggled quietly, no matter how serious or sad the situation was they’d always try to lift the mood. As the helicopter neared us, the zombies lurked around the building following the noise. The steel door rattled and small dents were being formed.

We’d packed whatever we could, every possible weapon in our house. We changed into more comfortable clothes. We’d stashed away our leftover food with a note so that If someone else were to occupy this space, they’d have extra food to consume.

“Is everyone ready?!” Hongjoong yelled over the noise. He opened the door and a huge rush of wind smacked our faces. As we squinted our eyes to avoid discomfort, a blurry image of a man could be seen as the door slid open.

“My name is Christopher! Come on up!” A rope was thrown to our rail. Hongjoong stepped up, tying a tight knot to make sure it wouldn't fall. Pulling it to test it’s resistance one last time, he held up an ‘ok’ sign to Christopher before looking at us. “I’m going first! After me, youngest to oldest.”

He hopped over the railing, using the rope, he moved closer to the helicopter. Hooking his feet on the landing skid, he pulled himself up and settled in the helicopter.

“Y/n! You’re next!” San pet my back, gently pushing me outside. “Don’t die on me,” he whispered in my ear. I turned around to give him a hug. “I won’t.” I whispered to him.

I jumped over the railing, using the same technique as Hongjoong’s I pulled myself up using the help of his hand. As I settled into the cramped space, a large headphone was given to me. Putting it on I made space for the rest they hopped in with ease.

Seonghwa settled in next to Christoper, who was at the edge. “That everyone?!” He asked, looking at all of us.

“Yeah!” I nodded at him before the helicopter took up.

We exchanged formalities and introductions and I gave him a brief explanation on all of us. The rest of the ride we refrain from speaking to one another, dozens of thoughts running in our minds like wild horses.

The helicopter landed at a research facility, it looked like we were in the countryside. Large trees covered the beautiful blue skies, shading us from the ravaging sun.

No matter how difficult a time earth was going through, the skies behaved the same. Painting scenes over and over, as if everything was normal.

“Okay!” Christopher clapped his hands. We all hopped off, I stood next to Chris as we walked towards the building, the others trailing behind.

“My name is Colonel Christopher James but feel free to call me Chris. I am head of Aurzain’s Army and President of the research facility here. A few days back we received a SOS from your father, after pinning down the location, we sent soldiers there.”

I nodded at him. “How are we initiating the plan? All the dormant zombies have woken up because of the helicopter.”

He smacked his lips. “That’s right, y/n. But everything we do is for a reason.”

I hummed at him, uncertain by his answer.

He opened the doors, welcoming us into the large, modern facility, he led us to a small room at the back of the large hall.

Taking a seat on the office chair, he motioned us to sit on the available chairs and couches too, fully occupying the large space his office provided.

“This is going to be a team mission. None of the soldiers are going to help us on the actual rescue mission.” He pulled out a few files for us to look at. “In the files, there's an outline of Plasma Heights, all open and available entries and exits,” he pointed to a green dot in the drawing. “An approximate of where he is.”

I exhaled sharply, overwhelmed with the situation. “What do you want us to do?” Hongjoong asked from behind me.

He shrugged. “Co-operate. There’s gonna be two helicopters that're gonna be roaming around the area, keeping the zombies confused. One of them will be dropping us at Plasma Heights. Snipers have been situated in terraces in buildings right now and they’re trying their best to kill as many as they can.”

“This is our plan. Hongjoong and Yunho stay at Exit C, looking out for any zombies that climb up the stairs. San, Wooyoung, y/n and Mingi are in charge of helping him. As quickly as you can, I want you to wrap up the wound and get him to the helicopter. Jongho and Yeosang will be setting up the stretcher to bring him in. Finally, Seonghwa and I will all be at the helicopter keeping watch.”

He pulled out a plastic bag, showing us the earpieces. “This is how we’re gonna communicate.”

I looked behind me, having a silent conversation with the rest. We all turned back to him and nodded.

“When do we leave?” Hongjoong asked, grabbing his bag.

Chris stood up, a determined look on his face. “Now.” _________________________________________

I jumped down the helicopter, medical bag in hand and ran towards the fallen man. My father leaned against the cracked cement wall, panting for breath. He wore dirty, ragged clothes and his hair was matted to his forehead with grime.

“We’re gonna get you out of here dad,” San said, hugging him. I immediately got to work, pulling out gauze and bandages. Mingi helped by removing the bandages, gently pressing a sanitised cloth against the wound.

My father winced in pain, his fingers inching towards Mingi, San grabbed his hand, holding it tight. “Squeeze if it hurts too much.” He said. My father chuckled bitterly, tears glistening in his eyes. “That’s the same thing I told your mother during labour.” He grunted out.

We all chuckled at his joke, tearing a gauze and tape, I wrapped it around the wound tightly. “We’re done!” I yelled at Yeosang. I packed up my things as wooyoung and san helped dad up.

As Mingi helped me clear out the area and pack everything, a horrid yell could be heard in the earpiece. No, please no.

“Incoming!” Yunho yelled, running behind us. In the distance, zombies clamoured behind him and Hongjoong, tripping over themselves as they advanced to us.

“Chris?! You better be seeing this! Get us out of here!” Hongjoong yelled in the earpiece. He ran towards us at full speed, Yeosang and Jongho joining him.

“Give me a minute!” He replied through the earpiece. As more and more zombies trampled their way through, my panic grew.

Ah shit. _________________________________________

Apocalypse: Ateez [Pt. 3]

“Holy shit” San whispered. We all scrambled to find our weapons and began shooting at those horrid creatures. Shots could be heard from every corner as soldiers shot them repeatedly.

Bodies fell from the edge of the construction floor and others dropped dead as bullets pierced them mercilessly. The dramatic decrease of zombies saved us some time, but not resources.

“Y/n, get your father to the copter now!” Yeosang yelled in the earpiece, looking at me from a distance.

I looked towards him. “You can’t be serious.” I scoffed. His gaze hardened and he tilted his head, gesturing behind him. The stretcher was gone.

“Do you fucking think I would joke in this situation?” He spat out. I gulped, and relied his message in a nicer way to rest.

They nodded and immediately got to work, rushing to pick my father safely, avoiding his injuries. His face twisted in pain as he limped towards the copter with limited energy.

I held my dad's arm, supporting him as we quickly limped towards the edge of the floor. The helicopter was a meter or two away from us, the blades of the copter preventing it from getting any closer.

“You’re gonna have to throw him!” Chris yelled at us, holding onto the supporting rail, in the copter.

“Hell no! What if he falls?!” San yelled back from the other side of dad. His neck strained and veins popped as his loud voice empowered the screams.

“He won’t trust- Watch out!” His eyes widened with shock. A force pushed me towards the side, half my body barely missing the edge. My father fell on top of me, and I watched with hazy eyes, a zombie attacking my brother’s back.

A ringing in my ear tuned out the horrible noise of anguish and pain but my eyes captured it all. A lone zombie clambered atop him, twisting its neck in different angles, flailing its arms in frustration as it tried to inflict harm on him.

San, who was pushed to the ground, kicked the infected with his feet, grabbing a gun from his holster he shot it right at the head. The zombie fell on his back, unmoving. I helped up dad and leaned against the wall, waiting for San to return.

He ran towards the edge of the floor rather than back at us. His chest moved heavily, eyes wide and sweat matted against his forehead, I saw his lips moving as he counted from 1 to 10. I held my breath, praying silently.

“The- the spit. It went in my mouth.” I heard his anxious voice in the earpiece. He turned towards me, eyes wavering and stuttering. “I just wanted to be safe.”

I nodded, feeling as though a weight lifted off my shoulders. “I’m just glad you’re safe.” Looking to the left, I saw Wooyoung and Mingi groaning, one clutching the elbow while the other clutched his shoulder.

Hongjoong spoke soon after. “We need everyone to be here with their weapons, we can’t hold them off any longer. There’s too many of them.” His heavy breaths echoed in my ears.

“We’ll go. Y/n, quick, get dad to safety. And then help us if you can, we’ll be waiting.” With a nod in my direction and quick hugs from his two younger friends, they rushed to the main scene.

What the living hell is my life? We get into a zombie apocalypse, my brother gets attacked by one and now I’m gonna have to throw my dad off a building like a sack of potatoes.

I gulped, regaining my breath and tried to calm myself. “Dad, I know it seems impossible but I’m gonna have to throw you off.”

I spoke calmly and slowly, giving him time to process what I'd said. “You want to do what?” His eyes narrowed as he spoke sassily.

I sighed. “Dad, we don’t have enough time. It’s either I throw you off this building and you have a seventy-five percent chance of living or a 300 feet drop to death.”

He sighed, rolling his eyes. “Usually the father throws and catches the daughter.” He muttered.

“Very funny,” I muttered. “Chris, throw the rope.”

Chris threw a thick rope towards us, the wind from the helicopter not helping at all. After at least 4 tries, I managed to grab the rope. I tightened the rope around my dad's waist and tied a tight knot. I huffed loudly before patting him in the back.

“It’s gonna be like a swing okay? I’m gonna swing you in one go and we can only pray this works.”

Chris had tied the opposite end of the rope to the top rail of the copter. I pulled him back, as far as I could and tested the rope one last time, tightening it further. “Kinda like the swing you fell off from. Remember?” He joked.

I laughed bitterly, remembering the salty memory. I prayed that it wasn’t my last joke with him. “I love you dad.”

“I love you too, my daughter.”

With that, we ran towards the edge. I used the supporting pillar as leverage and put all my force into swinging him. The sudden weight of a man made the copter tilt, which made my heart drop.

As he swung further, he tucked his legs in a ball, crashing inside the helicopter like a meteor. “He is safe, with just a minor neck injury and sprained limbs. He’s fine y/n. You did great.”

I slumped against the pillar, feelings overwhelming my senses as my eyes stung with tears. Chris’s words of comfort, encouragement and praise flowed in my ears comforting me. I sniffled meekly, wiping my tears with the back of my hand.

“Get him to safety.” I said, staring at his confused face. “Just get him treated, we'll try to hold off the zombies at best we can. I’ll send you a signal when we’re done.” I said.

I heard a faint yell of disagreement from my father, mouthing an ‘I love you’ to him, I blew him a kiss. “Make sure his leg is sanitized and the infection is removed, I have no clue how far the infection has traveled in his body.”

“Got it.” Chris replied. “We’ll be back soon, stay alive.”

“You too.” With that, the helicopter turned, moving away from my location. I turned away from it and walked towards the scene. Everyone was hidden behind pillars, throwing rocks, shooting bullets, trying their best to distract the zombies.

From the neighbouring buildings clean shots of snipers could be heard, eliminating them continuously. I huffed out a breath, these darned zombies kept coming back.

I saw Hongjoong running towards me, he grabbed my arm pulling me towards another pillar far from the scene. “We’ve exhausted all our ammo, everyone’s tired. I doubt that we can stay out any longer.” He panted. “We have to run, there’s no other option.”

I could see the desperation in his eyes, swirling and clashing. He wanted to stay back and fight so we could live, either way a 300 feet drop to death or being one of the infected was waiting. And neither seemed appealing.

I racked my brain for ideas, plans, no matter how stupid they were. “We can use a smoke bomb.” I said to him. His furrowed eyebrows and confused eyes judged what I’d said. “We can ask Chris to drop a smoke bomb on us, either we can run to the exit or we can use a zip line to the other building.”

“We can try that, but how the hell will we get the zip line?”

I looked around me, spotting a thick black wire not too far from us.

“My way.”

_________________________________________

“This is a really bad idea.” Yeosang chastised.

“Come up with a better one then,” I scowled at him.

“Stop bickering you two!” Jongho whisper-yelled from the other pillar.

A few moments ago I’d shared my plan with them, considering the recklessness of the plan most of them weren’t happy. On the other hand, it was our only plan so, I won.

Yeosang and I were behind one pillar, Jongho and Yunho, Mingi and San, Wooyoung and Seonghwa. Then Hongjoong, who was at the other side of the rectangular floor, facing the edge.

We’d all split up, hiding behind random places. Zombies still lurked, aimlessly running. Their eyesight had completely deteriorated and they only relied on hearing, considering they’d been infected for a long time.

“Chris is on his way here. He’ll drop the bomb on us and we run to the edge, the soldiers have already set up a zip line. We’ll have to use our holster belts to transport.”

The familiar whir of blades could be heard and we watched silently as all the zombies ran towards the noise, dropping to their death.

A small clang could be heard as the smoke bomb dropped. I waited silently, my heart thumping in my ears. A small hiss was heard as green smoke engulfed the area, clouding our eyesights. I felt Yeosang grab my hand.

“Follow me,” he whispered. We crouched down slowly and I followed his hunched back as we walked ahead. The green smoke hazed my eyes and they burnt like hell, chemical smoke filled my lungs as I inhaled harshly.

“We’re here,” Yeosang whispered. We huddled closer together, arms touching and skin tingling. I felt heat rise up to my face as he grabbed my forearm.

We leaned against the pillar, pressing our backs against the concrete. He kept a firm yet gentle grip on my forearm as he looked above my short figure for any oncoming dangers.

“Yeosang?” We heard a voice whisper. Jongho and Yunho were standing on the opposite side of the wall. “Jongho? Yunho?” I whispered.

“It’s us.” The older one confirmed before looking down. “Love on the battlefield?” Yunho teased, wiggling his eyebrows. Yeosang left my arm, his ears slightly tinted. We looked away from each other, blood rushing to my cheeks.

“Are we all here?” Hongjoong asked through the earpiece.

“Yeah, y/n, Yunho and Yeosang are here with me.” Jongho responded.

“Okay good, I have the rest with me. Each wall has a certain number on it, what’s yours?”

The younger grazed his fingers against the wall, the fog being too hazy to see. “Found it!” He whispered. His eyebrows furrowed as he felt the engraved code on the wall. “Uh, C2718”

We heard him sigh. “We’re just a pillar away. Walk away from the side where the number is, to the next pillar.”

We formed a train of sorts and Yeosang was behind me, clutching my shoulder. Be still, my heart.

“Guys?” I heard my brother’s familiar voice. “It’s us hyung.” Jongho confirmed.

“Good.” Hongjoong said. “Remove your holsters and gently place your guns down. Youngest goes first.”

I gulped, removing my holster. I swung it above the wire, holding onto the other end. Holding my breath, I pushed myself forward. The wind whipped against my face as I travelled the zip line, I pushed my feet out, stopping right at a window. A few soldiers were standing there and I climbed in with their help.

As the rest showed up, I felt tears of relief clouding my eyes. I rushed to my brother, hugging him tight. “We’re safe.” I mumbled. He laughed a little before hugging me just as tight and caressed my hair. “We’re safe, y/n. You did it.” He whispered.

I stare at my phone unmoving, unblinking, not believing.

‘I’m sorry’

‘You need to stop pitying yourself’

‘I don’t get why any of us have to take care of you, because you don’t need taking care of’

‘I’m fed up of the fact that I could’ve done the same things as you whenever you made me feel like I wasn’t your friend.’

‘There’s no breaking apart when there was no such being together in the first place’

I reread the texts, the pain growing in my chest. After you left, they all did. Suddenly I was alone and lonely.

I blinked my tears away, you never had the intention of causing me pain. But here you were, hurting me, stabbing me over and over.

I sniffled, feeling my heart break. You were an Angel in my life, my rock, my world and I thought of you so, so much. You didn’t know how much I cherished you, how many times you gained my trust only to break it, shattering my heart into pieces that I can’t mend.

I spoke to my therapists, describing you as the best best-friend I could’ve ever asked for. And you were.

Why’d you have to leave?

My anxiety crippled inside me and I let out a shaky breath.

When you left, the demons came back. I started seeing things again. I was getting better, I just needed to cross the last mountain. That was until you kneed me in the stomach and left me to fend for myself.

I shared my secrets, my deepest vulnerabilities with you and you stayed; despite the baggage I carried.

I was healing. I am healing.

I’m sorry I couldn’t make you feel wanted. I’m sorry I couldn’t make you feel like you were my friend because you were. When everyone turned their backs on me, calling me weird and ill you stayed. When they didn’t know how to handle me or asked too many questions you stopped them and you helped me.

But you just had to leave me.

I’m sorry for making you look like the bad guy. I know I was in the wrong. I was off with you, I never checked up on you and it was all about me and my well-being.

But why’d you have to hurt me that bad?

You could’ve told me? I could’ve learnt what you wanted and we could’ve had a heart to heart conversation but nope. It didn’t happen.

I had to heal and I needed you here with me. You were a vital part of my healing.

I was so excited to tell you that the medicines went down, then I realised that we drifted apart. After you left everyone else did, slowly no one spoke to me. Slowly, no one cared. And I stopped too.

That was until the medicines went up again. Anti-depressants, anti-psychotics and anti-anxiety pills. I’m not saying this for pity, I’m saying the truth.

The truth that you fucking broke me and left, just when I was getting better.

I’m sorry I didn’t treat you the way you should’ve been treated.

I’m sorry.

“Good morning baby,” she murmured.

“Good morning,” I whispered back, enticed by her beauty.

She turned fully, facing me. After studying me for a few minutes she spoke. “What’re you thinking about?”

“You.” I said, without missing a beat. Her cheeks flushed and she covered her face with the blanket.

I pulled the thick blanket away from the face, admiring the way her cheeks reddened. “Don’t hide that blush from me,” I said. “It’s swells my heart knowing that I caused it.”

“Shh,” she shook her head.

“What ‘Shh’ you occupy my thoughts all the time. So much so that you’ve never left it since I saw you” I chuckled.

“Stop” she whined, dragging out the word like a kid.

“I always say the truth, I’m a really straightforward person you see,” I shrugged.

“Oh please,” she snorted. “I know that better than anyone,”

“Is that so?”

“Obviously! Or did you forget about how you asked me out?”

“Meh, remind me,” I smirked, seeing the corner of her lips lift in annoyance.

“You literally asked me out while we were having a conversation about burritos.” She exasperated.

“I don’t remember,” I pursed my lip, holding my laughter.

I’d asked her out in the most ungentlemanly way possible. While having a conversation about burritos and if prawn belongs to it or not, I simply asked her on a date. She choked on the burrito, while I laughed.

“You had the nerve to laugh at me after pulling such a trick!”

“I didn’t know I had that much of an effect on you,”

“Please, I’m so romantically love deprived that even the smallest of compliments makes me choke. What’d you expect when you’d asked me out of the blue like that??” She furrowed her eyebrows.

“You don’t know that you have that kinda an effect on me too,” I whispered.

The cheeriness in the air lowered and a more intimate atmosphere surrounded us.

“You’re kidding,” she deadpanned. “You’re like the least non-confident person I’ve met.

“Oh you don’t know baby, the way my hands trembled and my heart raced and how tiny drops of sweat formed on my forehead and my goodness did I mention the heart racing?”

She chucked. “Yes, yes you did”

I sighed, running my hands down her arm. “I love you,” I murmured

“I love you more,”

I swirled around the fancy wine in the fancier glass. Goodness, who in the king's name came up with ballroom dances?

I huffed as I watched the people in their glamourous gowns and drapes waltz across the floor. It was pretty to see, but it was bothersome to participate.

I was on my 3rd glass, and I was starting to get tipsy. Well, I wasn’t really surprised. After all, I could not hold my liquor.

“My lady?” Seonghwa sighs, disappointment shining in his eyes.

“Yes, my dear?” I purred, before laughing at myself.

“Did you hear that?! Seonghwa, I just purred” I giggled. He chuckled at my tipsy self, before becoming the mother he was.

“Yes my lady, I heard you. The young master mentioned that you mustn’t drink. Yet you found your way to the champagne.” He chastised.

“What can I say?” I sassed. “Liquor is my soulmate.”

“And in a while it will be your greatest foe. The young master has set a meeting with your soon to be fiancé, Lee Know, Prince of the Strays Kingdom.”

I snorted. “Whatever, I’m sure he’s ugly”

He sighed. I could feel his disappointment radiating in waves. There’s nothing more amusing than teasing your caretaker.

“I can assure you. He is not ugly, my lady.”

“Yeah?” I raised an eyebrow. Swirling the glass in my fingers. I watched as the sparkling liquid splashed against the glass. “And how can you assure that?”

“He’s looking right at you, My lady. To your left.”

Discreetly, I averted my eyes to check for myself. Slicked back hair, a cute face and sharp jawline. Seonghwa was right, he was staring right at me.

He wore a dark brown coat over his drapes, a white lace cuff and shiny boots. He had a tie hanging around his neck, by lord. He looked devilishly handsome.

He smiled at me politely, pearly whites showing. I smiled back, impressed at his manners. He brought up his glass a little as a toast and I did too, sipping the champagne together and we held eye contact for a moment.

He slyly winked in my direction, and I giggled. “Agreed. He is eye-candy.” I turned towards Seonghwa who seemed very pleased with my comment.

“I am glad you think so. Now my lady, why don’t you help boost our small family name by greeting him?” He gestured toward Lee Know.

I sighed. “He seems like a nice man. But you're highly mistaken if you think I’ll be marrying him.”

He opened his mouth to retort but I didn’t give him a chance to. “You know don’t you?”

“K-know what my lady?” He fumbled on his words. Something he does only when lying.

“You know about San. And I’m sure Older Brother knows too. Isn’t that why you want me to get married?”

He sucked in a breath. I laughed dryly. “Of course, why do I have to question you, when I already know the answer.”

I handed him my glass. “I’ll be with him if you need me. Don’t bother trying to persuade me.”

I turned away from Seonghwa and walked towards the garden gates, at the back of the ballroom. A lone guard stood, preventing anyone entry. I placed myself right in front of him.

“Hello darling,” I grinned.

He had his jaw clenched. “Mistress, Sir hasn’t given you permission to enter the garden. Please return to the ballroom at once.”

I frowned. “Would it really kill you to relax?”

“It would kill me and you. Figuratively and literally.”

I huffed and crossed my arms over my chest. “Please, you’re begging for a dance with me. Aren’t you?”

He avoided all eye contact with me. His stone hard eyes were glaring at the wall opposite to us. His jaw was still clenched, and his grip on his sword tightened.

I frowned, feeling saddened. Until he spoke up. “Why don’t you go spend time with the young prince of the Strays kingdom? After all, you’re going to be marrying him in a few weeks time.”

I snapped my head up to meet his eyes, and he still avoided them. I smirked. “Are you jealous?”

He scoffed. “Never.”

“Fair enough,” I sighed dramatically. “Might just have to fulfill my wish for a dance with Lee Know.” I turned away from him but his hand grasped mine. Pulling me with force, he twirled me around and my hands met with his chest.

He kept his hands on my waist. “You’re not to be within a 5 meter radius of him.”

I played with the fancy chains and medals that littered his coat. “Is that so?”

“Yes. Orders from your beloved.”

I smiled at him sheepishly. I stood straight, smoothening the wrinkles in my gown before beaming at him. “Dance with me”

“A dance?” He looked at me and tilted his head. Confusion overtaking his features.

“Yes, knucklehead.” I said, pulling his hand. “Come dance with me.”

“You know we can’t do that princess, not with all those people watching. You know what’ll happen if-”

I brought my finger to his lips. “Shh, who said anything about dancing in the ballroom?” _________________________________________

I dragged him out the gates to the palace garden. The palace garden was a prestigious place, with flowers from all around the world. It’s scent and beauty never failed to seize me.

I ran ahead, pulling san behind me and laughed childishly. He let out a few laughs too. “Y/n you’re so cute”

“Only for you, love” I smiled.

I pulled him towards the windows. We were right outside the ballroom and on the opposite side of the window, the orchestra was playing music. Our windows were stained glass and very translucent, I doubted that anyone could recognise us.

He smiled at me nervously. He bowed and held his hand out, looking in my eyes he asked, “May I have this dance, my love?”

I curtsied in front of him, and placed my hand in his. “Yes, you may.”

And so we did. We danced on the grass, bare feet under moonlight. The soft chatter of the people inside was completely drowned out as I danced with him. The music overflowed my senses, he picked me up and twirled me around. But no matter what he did, we always met in the centre, swaying from side to side.

As the music slowed down, our bodies did too. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he wrapped his around my waist. “Are you really going to marry him?”

I could sense the nervousness in his voice and I smiled. I brought my hand up to cup his face, glancing up at him I smiled gently. “Never. You’re the one I love, and I’m not going to marry someone I don’t.”

He let out a shaky breath, his grip tightening on my waist. “But, but what if you’re forced to?” He looked up at me, his eyes watering. “What if you have to marry him and, and then you’ll fall in love and you probably leave me and,”

A sob racked his chest as a lone tear fell on his cheek. His head fell on my shoulder and his shoulders shook with each sob he let out.

My heart broke seeing him. Oh, my love.

“Hey,” I grasped his face in my hands and wiped his tears with my thumb. I gazed into his teary eyes, “No matter what, I will always stay with you. I will deny that marriage over and over. And I’m sure older brother will understand, hopefully. No matter what, I won’t let him break us apart.”

I chuckled, bringing him closer so that our foreheads touched. “You’re stuck with me. And the only thing you’ll guard is my heart.”

He let out an airy laugh. And pressed his lips against mine. “I love you, y/n”

Taking a quick stop near a tree I removed my scarf from my face. I leaned against the tree breathing heavily. Just a few more miles to go, you can do this.

Mentally cheering myself on, I covered my face with the scarf again, leaving out my eyes so I could see. Hopping over logs and ducking under branches, I trudged through the forest. It was the fastest way to reach my destination.

The sharp whistle of a sword had me stop in my tracks.

“Unveil yourself.” The sharp point of the sword poked against my back. Hesitantly, I turned around. The soldier had the emblem of my kingdom. His sword was pointed towards me, and he was in a defensive position.

Eyeing the tree next to him, I jumped, using the tree as leverage and landed a sharp kick to his head. A large thud was heard as he fell.

“Over here!” I heard someone yell. Panicking, I climbed up the tree, hiding among the branches. Few more men rushed towards the fallen soldier, two of them kneeled and began examining his head.

“Who could have done this?” One of them wondered. I held my breath as someone stopped down to pick something up.

Holding up a small black pin from my attire, he chuckled. “I might have an idea.”

Darn it. _________________________________________

“Come out,”

I sighed. I climbed down the tree, landed on my feet and took my place a few feet away from him. Choi San, my ex-fiancé.

“What are you doing here?” He asked, leaning against the tree.

“I could ask the same about you” I retorted, pulling down my scarf to my neck.

“We came here in search of a lost villager.” He glared at me. Cold eyes boring into mine.

I smirked. “I ran away from my village and landed up here.”

He clenched his jaw. “That’s enough games, y/n. Just come home.”

“And if I don’t?” I raised an eyebrow, taunting him.

He stepped closer to me, caging me with his arms against the tree. “Then I’ll have to force you, and my princess wouldn’t want that, would she?”

I grabbed his collar, pulling him close to my face. “I am not returning to the hell hole. Ever.”

Letting him go forcefully, I duck under his arm and walk further into the forest. I heard him sigh before he jogged and caught up with me.

“Why are you doing this?”

I looked at him in disbelief. “You know why.”

Realisation dawned upon him. “I said I’m sorry! Please just come back home.”

Breathe.

“Please, I said I’m sorry.”

Calm down.

“It was just a stupid promise okay?! Don’t act like you haven’t broken promises before!”

That’s it.

“Your ‘sorry’ doesn’t cut it okay?! Your stupid promise that you made got my family’s hopes up! And when you broke it, my family broke too.” I turned around, facing his guilt stricken face.

“When you decided to take my hand in marriage, did it not occur to you that you were already betrothed to someone?” I heaved.

“That too from birth?! My family is embarrassed to call me their child. We suffered from your decision, I suffered from your petty mistake.”

“I’m sorry,” he breathed out. “I really am.”

“Your sorry doesn’t fix my family's dignity.” Stepping closer so I was eye to eye with him, I spoke in a softer voice.

“Your sorry doesn’t fix my broken heart.”

____________________________________________

It had been a few hours since I walked away from San. Dry leaves crushed under my boots and the crickets whistled in the void, reminding me I’m not alone.

The sun had long gone down and the air became colder, eerier. I rubbed my covered arms with my gloves hands, hoping for some warmth to seep in.

The temperature had noticeably dropped a few degrees, and the moon’s limited light brightened my path.

I glanced around me, searching for a large tree or cave that I could rest in. I sighed heavily, biting my tongue. I hadn’t had any food and I had to find a place quickly, after all, the night is when the predators roam.

I heard a twig snap behind me and a low growl. I stopped in my tracks, cold sweat breaking out in my forehead.

Speak of the devil.

I slowly turned around, coming face to face with a wolf. I mentally cursed in my head, this wolf was one of the largest I’d ever encountered.

I stayed bent on my knees and made my movements as slow and minimal as possible. Slowly, I brought my hand towards my waistband to whip out my dagger.

The wolf bared its teeth at me, gaze never leaving mine. He growled louder and louder, slowly creeping closer to me.

As the wolf took steps closer to me, I stepped back. The wolf growls louder, advancing closer to me. I held my breath before removing my dagger.

The moonlight glistened on the blade, reflecting light on the trees. Focusing my eyes on the wolf, I threw the dagger with force. Mentally cheering when it hit the wolf's leg.

He whined and whimpered, making me feel sorry. Multiple growls echoed in the forest, Ah shit.

“I don’t feel sorry anymore” I muttered under my breath before taking off in a sprint.

I heard multiple paws stomp against the ground as growls and snarls were heard from the wolves. I heaved heavily, twisting and turning through the trees trying my best to lose the wolves.

I heard a familiar yell and turned around. San. He fought off the wolves with his arrows, he shot them on their limbs being careful to miss their vital spots.

“Here!” He yelled, tossing a dagger to me. He shot multiple wolves in one go. By the time I even reached him, the wolves had fled.

I returned his dagger. “What are you doing here?”

He winked. “Protecting my wife.”

I furrowed my eyebrows. “B-but I thought,” I stammered, my face scrunching in confusion.

He brought his finger to my lips. “Shh, it doesn’t matter what you thought, you might be mad at me, but I can never be mad at you.”

I blinked. “You’re supposed to be engaged…?”

He winced. “I’m supposed to be, but I convinced my father. He’s waiting for his daughter in law!”

I felt heat rush to my cheeks. He chuckled, cupping my cheek. He whispered in a soft voice that made butterflies erupt in my stomach. “Let me mend the heart I broke.”

He pecked my cheek. “It’s too late to go back now, we’ll have to camp out our way.”

We climbed up a tree with a wide trump. And like the old times, laid out branches atop each other to act as a makeshift bed. I laid in his arms that night as he whispered bittersweet words in my ears.

“Y/n!”

I turned my head to see Hongjoong running towards me.

“We need you at the gates,” he heaved. Pointing behind him. “Someone- foreigner.”

I furrowed my eyebrows before jogging towards the place he pointed. He followed behind me, panting heavily.

“The kingdom rule states that unless there is a formal invitation or meeting with the king; no one is allowed through the kingdom gates.”

Mingi’s deep voice reached my ears and I jumped over a fallen log towards the scene.

“What’s going on?” I questioned, enraging from the woods. A quick shortcut taken from the main market to the kingdom gates.

An unknown man- most likely a prince considering the jewels he adorned- and two others were outside the kingdom gates. Mingi and Wooyoung stood in front of them, preventing them from entering.

The man sighed. “Look, I’m here to meet princess y/n, her brother had promised a meeting with her today.”

I furrowed my eyebrows, I scrutinised him, unsure of the unknown man. “I’m y/n”

His eyes snapped to mine. A fedora hooded his beautiful brown orbs that seemed to suck me in. His pink lips pulled into a smile. “Are you?”

“Yes I am. And I can assure that my brother spoke nothing of meeting with a prince- that too of a foreign land.”

His eyes pierced through mine and I struggled with keeping them emotionless.

“I’m sure you’ve heard of Jung Yunho? Prince of the Horizon Kingdom.”

I racked my brain, remembering the familiar name. We were indeed supposed to meet, but it wasn’t until next week.

I stared at him, confused. “Weren’t you supposed to be here next week?”

He hopped off his horse, with an effortless jump. Removing his fedora hat, he winked at me. “I like to exceed expectations.”

I raised my eyebrow at his cocky comment. “I’m sure you do.” I murmured, glancing over his fit figure.

“Princess, should we let him in?” Mingi whispered in my ear. I nodded at the guard.

“Follow us, your highness,” Mingi said.

Yunho nodded, gesturing to his friends to get down from their horses as well. They walked towards us, pulling the horses with them.

“These are my guards and close friends: Choi San and Park Seonghwa.”

I nodded, greeting them with a subtle smile. Wooyoung and Hongjoong began conversing with the latter as Mingi walked in front, leading the way. I felt a presence behind me.

“So princess, what do you like about your kingdom?”

His deep yet vague question had me startled. “Why? Don’t people usually start by asking about their interests or hobbies?”

He shrugged. “Just curious. I’d rather know what kind of person they are rather than their interests. Plus, I’m not too fond of my kingdom, they’re extremely cultural and I hate it.” He spat. “My younger sister suffers because of the culture and unreasonable traditions.”

I frowned, culture was beautiful yet destructive. Conservative thoughts and teachings restrained the future generation to speak up- some cultures going as far as degrading one for their gender or preferences.

“That’s true, my older brother doesn’t like it either. Which is why he protects those who have different interests with reasoning.”

I looked up to meet his eyes, that held the depth of the earth. They glistened under the sunlight, bringing out a mix of colours unexplainable to the naked eye.

“I’m glad.” He smiled. “Even if we do get betrothed, I plan to do the same for my kingdom. And I’d like my queen to share the same thoughts as me.”

He gently nudged me with his elbow, in a taunting way- to which I giggled. “Yes, my king”

It was surprising how comfortable we were with each other, only after exchanging a few words. After a short walk through the main market- earning curious glances from the people who immediately cowered in fear from Mingi’s glares- we reached the palace gates.

We walked in together, occasionally greeting known guards until we walked into the throne room. My brother sat on the throne, a paper in hand along with a quill and ink.

“Oh, y/n!” Yeosang perked, looking up from his paper. “You’ve brought a guest.”

I nodded sheepishly. “This is Jung Yunho of the Horizon Kingdom. He had an unexpected notice a few days back and sadly couldn’t come when scheduled.”

I lied smoothly, feeling Yunho’s curious gaze on me. Yeosang shook his head, a disappointed smile on his lips. “Why’re you lying?” Yeosang asked in our mother tongue.

He really is my older brother. I laughed a little before replying. “Yes, what I said was a lie but some of it was the truth. He did come in unexpectedly but when I asked what had happened, he said and I quote- ‘I like to exceed expectations’”

A hearty laugh escaped his lips as my friends giggled behind me quietly. “Take him to your room and have a good talk with him. If he seems threatening- do tell me. I’ll have a talk with him.”

His voice darkened at the end of the sentence, a silent threat hung in the air.

I smiled up at Yunho. “He suggested we speak in my room, follow me. I’ll lead you.”

His eyes twinkled with mirth and we commenced to our room. _________________________________________

As we exchanged formal introductions, we learnt more about each other. I realised that we were more alike than we thought, sharing the same morals and mindset.

A soft knock was heard on my door. “Y/n!!”

My eyes widened and I scrambled to get Yunho off my bed. “Go hide in the closet!” I whispered to him.

He looked at me incredulously, disbelief overtaking his features. “What?! Excuse me?!”

I hastily covered his mouth. “Y/n? Is there anyone there with you?” A muffled voice was heard from behind the door.

“Nope! Just changing!” I yelled. I leaned towards Yunho, whispering in his ear.

“My younger brother hates when I have other boys over. I don’t have the best history with men and he has sought out to ‘protect me’” I said using my fingers as quotation marks.

He looked confused and weirded out but I didn’t have time to justify myself. I pushed him towards my closet, sliding the door closed.

“Please don’t make a sound,” I whispered before walking towards the door.

Plastering a fake smile on my face I opened the door, revealing my very impatient younger brother; Jongho.

“You took forever!” He exasperated. “Come! I want you to see my new painting.”

He grabbed my forearm, pulling me out the room. I pulled back, gently removing my arm from his grip. “I’m really sorry Jongho, but I have to finish up a book by today- or else my teacher will scold me.” I frowned.

He pouted before nodding sadly. “Okay.” He trudged out of my room, sulking all the way. I giggled at my younger brother, feeling my heart swell with wholesomeness.

I closed the door, leaning against it with a sigh. I slid down, bringing my knees to my chest.

“You lie a lot, princess”

His sweet honey-coated voice flooded my ears as I snapped my eyes to him. He stood outside the closet, shutting the sliding door.

I sighed, pursing my lips. “I know. But I don’t have much of a choice.”

I grimaced, realising how pathetic my reasoning sounded. He hummed in uncertainty, looking at me with monotone eyes.

“A few years ago, I was set up with a man of my choice.” I sighed, regretting the decision my naive younger self had made. I turned to him, a sad smile playing on my lips. “I won’t go into much detail but he wasn’t what I thought he was. Under his loving facade hid a monster- hungry for money and power.

He was ready to do anything it took to reach his goal. Long story short, I got my heart broken, was banned from choosing my own groom, my brothers began to be much more protective of me and,” I flung my arms in defeat. “Here we are.”

His eyebrows furrowed. “I understand but that doesn’t explain why you lied to your older brother.”

His tone was questioning, and I hesitated while replying. “My brother doesn't like it when people try to outsmart him. He finds it,” I paused, searching for the right word. “Egotistical.”

“He prefers the average groom to be gentlemanly rather than charming. ” I laughed nervously.

A sly smirk took his lips. “Are you implying I’m charming, princess?”

My eyes widened at the comment. “No! I, uh. You’re nice just the way you are but- uh no you’re charming and uh but my bro- brother! He doesn’t like charming people, yeah,”

I shook my head, feeling flustered that I’d embarrassed myself. A choked cough escaped his lips as he clutched his mouth to prevent doubling over in laughter.

My face began heating up as I muttered to myself in my mother tongue. “Gosh, y/n. Get it together, I know he’s handsome but you have your pride, protect it.”

“Just because you’re speaking in another language doesn’t mean I don’t know you’re talking about me, princess.” His voice echoed in the room, a little louder than before.

I hadn’t noticed that he’d stepped closer to me- after all I was busy chastising myself. His close proximity momentarily had me stop breathing.

“I- I wasn’t talking about you,” I stammered. “I was just giving myself a pep talk.” I huffed out, avoiding his eyes.

He raised an eyebrow. A flirty glint in his eyes. “Is that so? Does it mean I make you so nervous that you have to give yourself a pep talk to talk to me?”

His smug expression made me want to swoon and at the same time, smack him. His cockiness infuriated me to no end but impressed me just as much.

I coughed. “Keep dreaming prince,”

He tucked a stray strand of hair behind my ear. “Of you? Always.”

“Love, are you ready?”

My shaking hands were enveloped with his large, warm ones, calming my anxiety.

“No, oh my gosh. I’m gonna mess it up” I wailed. He chuckled quietly, eyes turning into soft crescents. He was kneeling before me, beautiful brown eyes gazing in mine.

“Whatever it is, I’ll always love you. You know that right?” He asked.

I smiled at him. “I know.”

We were about to get married. I was about to get married to the love of my life. Oh my gosh, I’m gonna mess this up so bad. I bit my lip as another set of tears made their way to my eyes.

He frowned, bringing a hand up to my cheek. Ever so gently caressing it as he smiled at me.

“No matter what, you stutter or you sneeze I’ll be there. And for all you know, I could probably trip while standing there. Because when I see that beautiful face,” He breathed out shakily.

“When I see you walking towards me, I swear my knees are gonna buckle and I’m gonna probably faint.”

I giggled, squeezing his hand. He moved to sit beside me on the couch. “I swear I’m not lying. Because everyday I wonder. How in heaven's name did I end up with a person like you?”

He cupped my cheek pulling me in for a short, sweet kiss that had me swooning.

I exhaled shakily. “But I’m scared,” I whispered to him.

“Why are you scared, sweetheart? If I’m here with you, you’ve got nothing to be scared of.” He picked me up, placing me on his lap.

He made sure I was comfortable and leaned my head against his shoulder.

“I don’t think I’ll be good.” My voice wavered as tears flooded my eyes. “I don’t think I’ll be a good mother, a good queen, a good daughter in law, a good wife,”

Tears began to escape my eyes, trailing down my cheeks. I hid my face in his chest, sobbing quietly. He didn’t utter a word, rather stayed silent and rocked me, slowly.

“Why must you worry about that?” He raised my head from his chest, gazing lovingly at my glassy eyes.

He brought his lips to my forehead, pressing a soft kiss. “You never have to worry about being a good queen, mother or daughter in law. You’re a good person. That’s all that matters to me. We have so much to explore in our lives. You just have to let it flow. Okay?”

I nodded, sniffling quietly. “Okay.”

“And whatever it is, we go through it together.”

_________________________________________

Yeosang sighed loudly and jumped on the bed, letting out a quiet “oof” that had me laughing. We’d just finished with the wedding formalities, coronation and greeting of subjects. Now, we were back to our room in the palace.

“Long day Mr.Kang?” I asked, giggling quietly.

He smirked, turning to his side to get a good look at me. “Always bearable if I have you around, Mrs. Kang.” He winked.

Shaking my head I moved towards the vanity to remove my jewelry and make-up. Through the mirror I saw him sit up on the bed, hands supporting him as he stretched his back.

Black, fluffy hair bouncing as he laid his head back and groaned softly. Such a simple movement had me going in a frenzy.

Looking back at myself I noticed my cheeks were red. Not the time, y/n. I chastised.

I removed my head pieces and let my hair open, rubbing my scalp to release some of the pain. I closed my eyes and moaned softly.

I snapped my eyes open as another pair of hands replaced mine. I leaned against his chest. Smiling softly.

He laced an arm around my waist, the other hand still rubbing my hair. “Is my queen tired?” He whispered.

I nodded, a tired hum leaving my lips. Goosebumps arose on my neck as his lips began kissing my neck.

His hand rested on my waist as he continued kissing me. I closed my eyes as pleasure filled me, gasping quietly when he began sucking.

He pulled me closer to him. His hot breath tickled my ear as he whispered,

“Let me worship you, my Queen.”

Memories; Park Seonghwa

⚠️TW: mentions of death, and a lot of crying⚠️

Memories, they always stay. Some fade away, leaving no traces of the present we’d once lived. Yet, some stay. Some haunt us.

Some, help us be us.

We hold onto these memories, no matter how big or small, forgetting that the world moves forward. Devastation consumes our brain, driving us towards the brink of insanity.

We desperately hold onto those memories for a faint feeling of euphoria, the same we’d felt when we were in that moment.

You realise the world moves forward, yet you are left behind. Hanging onto those memories as your sanity slowly strips away from you, leaving nothing but darkness.

Stumbling up the stairs, You reached your front door with the help of your brother, Mingi. After consuming too much alcohol, You were certainly not sober enough to reach home alone.

“Y/n? Y/n? You can’t black out on me, I don’t know where your key is”

Pushing yourself from his chest, you shoved your bag at him. “It’s in the bag,” You mumbled.

He sighed, searching the bag. “Y/n, you have to change. Move on, it’s been six months, you can’t keep doing this.”

The gentle jingle of the keys had you looking up groggily. You watched as he clicked the door open. He shoved the key in your bag and opened the door, gently dragging you along.

You immediately flopped on the couch, fatigue overtaking your body.

“Oh god, y/n it smells disgusting here, when did you last clean the place?”

You mumbled incoherently, and he took it as a sign to leave. “God I really hope she gets better.”

While he took his leave, You snuggled into the dusty blanket, the same blanket you’d cuddle in with your fiancé.

You began to fall asleep, balancing on the brink of dreams and reality.

_________________________________________

“Seonghwa!” You cheered loudly, jumping on your boyfriend.

The camera went toppling down, leaving a gentle view of grass and houses while laughter resonated in the living room.

Watching videos was one of the ways you could let the good memories triumph over the bad ones. Yet, no matter how hard you tried; one bad memory always overshadowed the good ones.

“God, I love you so much y/n, I’d do anything for you.” Seonghwa’s muffled voice reached your ears, you abruptly got up, shutting off the tv.

A pained sigh left you as you wiped a stray tear on your cheek. Tossing the remote on the couch, you trudged upstairs, dragging the soft blanket with you.

You were alone in the room, yet the atmosphere was tense and sombre. As you glanced at the charred furniture, memories began playing in your head.

The room that once held the love of your life, the same room where you cuddled in his arms after a long day, was scorched.

A fire. A silly little bush fire, which ruined your life.

_________________________________________

It was the day before your 6 year dating anniversary. Seonghwa had planned a ring for you, since he knew you were the one.

He looked at the glimmering diamond shyly, never in his life had he imagined that he would propose to someone. But after spending so much time with you, he realised that you helped him become better, you helped him become him.

While he sat in his room practicing his speech, you were downstairs, making cupcakes for him. Placing a small candle on the cake, you light up a match carefully, lighting up the candle.

Carelessly, you tossed the burnt match behind you not knowing it hit a nearby bush.

Seonghwa began to feel hot, not from the excitement but from the weather. He looked around before spotting a flickering light.

His eyes widened and he ran towards the kitchen, his first concern being your safety and well-being. You were clueless to the smell, assuming it was the smell coming from the oven since you left it open to cool off.

You picked up the frosting bag, decorating the cupcakes while moving your hips to the soft beat of music which played in your ears.

“Y/n! Look out!” He moved you just in time as the window panel collapsed on top of the sink. Tiny flickers of fire began to consume the wooden counter. The fire began to grow and both of you clutched each other, in a trance of shock.

He moved first, frantically looking for a hose. “Get out of the house y/n, I’m coming!”

He had only one thought in mind. Get the ring and run out.

He ran out your arms, into the smoke. The fire began to reach up to the stairs and walls. Dainty wallpapers and curtains began to catch on fire, peeling off the walls. As the heat consumed the house, black smoke emitted from the wrath, leaving you gasping for air.

You clutched the countertop, calling for help. You coughed, feeling suffocated. Ashy smoke floated around the house, preventing you from seeing clearly.

“Seonghwa! Forget it!” You coughed out. “Please just come out!”

Upstairs, Seonghwa searched the room for the familiar navy blue velvet box. He looked around frantically, sweat coating his forehead. The crackling of the fire seemed to taunt him to give up, not helping his already anxious state.

He hastily threw the sheets behind him, tossing pillows and blankets in search for the box. A gentle thud alarmed him and he ran to the other side of the bed, the tiny box hiding near the corner.

He grabbed the box, sighing happily. “Oh thank god.”

He turned around and his face paled. The pillows and blankets that he threw blocked the door, what’s worse was that it was on fire. His breath hitched as a rush of panic took over his body. Stuffing the box in his pocket, he ran towards the window, desperately trying to get it open.

“Ah, fuck!” He yelled, realising the window was jammed. Should’ve listened to y/n when she said to change windows.

“I only have to make it downstairs. Make it downstairs Hwa, and then you’ll be with y/n. You can do this.”

And he ran in, head first.

_________________________________________

As you waited for him, your eyes watered in fear and frustration. Tiny particles made their way into your eyes, fueling the desire to weep as you waited for your boyfriend.

The flame around you grew, reaching ceilings as they slowly collapsed around you. You shifted around, moving to safer places until you reached the bottom of the stairs. The entire area was trashed with fallen wood and burnt furniture.

“Oh please, please. Seonghwa, please just come down.”

A loud crash was heard and a bellowing yell followed. You immediately imagined the worse, turning towards the sound.

“Seonghwa?!”

“Y/n?”

Seonghwa clutched his leg in pain, coughing. “Y/n! I told you to get out! What are you doing here?!”

“I was waiting for you!” You sniffled.

Seonghwa sighed loudly, anger clouding his mind. He wobbled down the stairs, grabbing you by the shoulders, a vexed glint in his eyes.

“I told you to get out of the house! It’s dangerous in here,”

“I know but I-”

You weren’t able to complete the sentence as you were pushed out of the way. You groaned in pain as your back met with the floor with a large thud. You groggily stood up, wincing.

In front lay Seonghwa, crushed under the weight of the broken ceiling. You rushed to his aid, your emotions clashing against each other.

Pulling his unconscious body from under the weight, you kneeled beside him trying to wake him.

“S- Seonghwa?” You tapped his cheek, trying to wake him. “P-please wake up, love. You can’t leave me, please.”

You sobbed, tears falling on his face. He groggily opened his eyes, smiling gently. “Don’t worry sweetheart, I’m not going anywhere,” he mumbled.

You grabbed his hand, a sob racking through you at his words. You sniffled, shaking your head. “No, no please don’t go, I can’t live without you,”

“Shh,” His brown orbs held tears and they wavered as they stared into yours. Thousands of emotions floated in his eyes, conveying the same message.

“I will never leave you darling, I’m always here. I promise,” he whispered, tightening his hold on your hand. “No matter what, I will always be here with you, always”

You shook your head, his words doing nothing but worry you. “No- no, you’re gonna be here.” You hiccuped. “You’re- you’re gonna be with me and you will live, and we’ll be happy and,”

Unable to complete the sentence, you sobbed squeezing your eyes shut. Please, I beg of you, whoever you are please let this all be a bad dream.

“Hey baby, look at me,” he gently brushed away the tears on your face as his tears rolled down the side of his face.

“I promise, I’ll never leave you,” He held your face with love, caressing your cheek.

You nodded, before leaning in for a short kiss. It was painful, imitating a sad, agonising goodbye. “I love you, Seonghwa please don’t leave me baby, I love you so much,”

He breathed out a laugh, “I told you baby, I’m not going anywhere. I love you, my wife.”

You watched as he whispered his last words, the life in his eyes disappearing as he smiled in content, content that he was able to spend his last moments with his love.

“No, No!” You screeched, shaking his lifeless body. “Seonghwa! No!” You sobbed. “You promised you wouldn’t leave, please come back,”

You coughed loudly, the smoke fogging around you.

“Miss?! Miss?! Please get out of the house!” Strong arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you up. You thrashed in the arms, “let me go! Please let me go! Save him! Not me!”

Your words were heard by deaf ears, as the man dragged you out of the house. You watched other men clamber into your house, placing your boyfriend’s body on a stretcher.

“I love you,” you whispered.

_________________________________________

You sat on the cold hospital bench. Gentle, cool air blew around you as the whirring of aircons cut the silence.

“Miss.Y/n?”

Your head snapped up at your name and you met the solemn eyes of the doctor. “Thankfully, you didn’t suffer many injuries. The smoke from the fire has disturbed your lungs so a few medicines will be prescribed to you, and as for your husband,” he trailed off, a sad smile on his lips. Your eyes glimmered with false hope, you knew the truth- yet you wanted to believe the lie.

“Unfortunately, he passed away.”

You nodded, holding back another set of tears. “And in his pocket, we found this.”

A small, navy blue velvet box was handed over to you. With shaky hands you opened the box, revealing a small diamond. It glistened under the light, a few words etched on the inside of the ring.

My love, my queen, my wife.

Registering the words, you grazed them with your fingers, feeling the engraved promise under your fingertips. Your eyes blurred as warm tears fell on your hands and the ring.

“I’m sorry for your loss, excuse me,” the doctor mumbled, walking away from you.

You collapsed on your knees, as they met the cold floor the pain did nothing but confirm the nightmare you were living in.

You walked towards the tombstone, a soft rustle of grass following after each step. You set a bouquet of roses, daisies and chrysanthemums at its base.

Sitting down on the grass, you conversed with your lover, talking to him about the days you spent without him.

“You know, I get sad really easily.” You scoffed, fidgeting with the ring on your finger. “I mean, I see that same yellow cup you used to use for coffee and I’d cry.”

You looked up at the cloudy sky, a faint memory playing in your mind. “One time, I was cleaning the house, the first time after you passed. I found your mic, the first gift I gave you. It was cheap and it stopped working after a few months but you still kept it in your room, clean and tidy.

I remember when I tried to take it away and you got so mad, until you realised the amount of dust that was collecting in it.” You giggled.

“I really wish you were here Seonghwa,” You sniffled. “I miss you so much,”