KMN

i’ve known many lesbians and bi women who have stayed in their prior identity because they 1. feared backlash; 2. felt like they were “betraying” that identity’s community if they changed their identifier; and 3. felt like the strong activism they did while in that community would somehow mean less if they came to realize they were a sister-identity.

to all of those i have to say:

1. you will always have those who will love and support your journey. find people who nurture your self-growth, and cut out those who would hold you back or see you stay stagnant.

2. your journey betrays no one; who you are betrays no one. being true to yourself means that you are doing right by you and not betraying yourself, and that’s the only person who matters in this—you.

3. every word and action you speak or do matters. realizing a label no longer pertains to you doesn’t lessen the significance of the time you spent nurturing your identity within it. you did well with that community; you’ll do well in the new community; and you’ll do well in our shared community. you bring a unique and compassionate perspective that will help so many others.

so, be kind. speaking specifically as a lesbian: lesbians, support lesbians who come to find out they’re bi. be compassionate. be proud. be encouraging. they aren’t leaving us. they never left. they’re been with us this whole time. they’ve being true to themselves and their journey, and they will always be our sisters.

A COMPANION TO ‘GRASS’