Rantings of a Tired Prototype

this is mostly for me for when I finally write my fics,,

Personality notes

Simon's fear response is not fight. Its Freeze. He can fight, sure, he can choose when he needs to protect himself. But before the Horrors™️ kick in, everytime hes faced with something freaky or beyond his comprehension, he freezes. He goes absolutely still, only really moving his eyes as if his peripheral will show him if something is behind him. When he sees the first Freaky Ass skeleton. When the blood splatters on his face. He's absolutely still.

Those big anger moments I see people base his character on are ONLY when he is At his Breaking point. (I.e. SHUT THE FUCK UP- which was so fucking good oh my God- only got to that point bc of all the SHIT going on with the hallucinations and the Hull Breach and the fire, of course the repetition was going to make him snap. But thats not his go to nor his default.

He comes back to his apologies again and again. He keeps trying, keeps bringing it up, possibly until he feels better or until the person forgives him.

He haaaates someone being condescending to him. He doesn't like people thinking hes an idiot.

Comfort! Items! Comfort! Items!!! He's has a very clear nervous tic/self soothing touch. It was of course the thing his mom gave him, but I think it also switches to the seed. I need to see him getting attached onto things and not wanting to let them go.

Pats things in thanks. I think it only happened once but he gave something a little pat pat when it worked the way he needed it to.

Acting choices/ physicality

He tilts his head when curious, or when looking at something he doesn't understand its so cute thank u so much mr. iplier

He has a very closed mouth way of talking when casual. Really only opens his mouth for full words in those big emotion moments.

His face scrunches up when feeling things!! Like it almost physically pains him.

Quick Eden note

It seems like Simon Never believed the shit Eden was trying to teach him. "Whats more likely?" // "They say they're gone but we can See Them." // "I didnt choose either."

Definitely has his quirks from growing up there- Reverence for the seed, calling the unknown convict "brother" despite it all, "when we die, our bodies will become the soil."

Mercy?

A bday gift for @1caru :3

Adrian and Grace are still getting used to each other, I like the idea of Rocky and Grace already having an established dynamic, one that Adrian is perfectly okay with of course but she’s still warming up to Grace themself. And unexpectedly they start to have interest in getting closer.

But what about a Simon that is so damn tired. Simon who wakes up on the Hail Mary and just. Lets it all happen. Accepts it.

There's another human named Ryland who swears he won't hurt him? That's awful nice of him. There's a strange, mouthy alien named Rocky? Well the name certainly fits, and he's much kinder than the last alien Simon met. Ryland wants to know his last name? He must be important enough for one now, and hey, Rocky's recommendation of Fisher is pretty funny and ironic, so sure. Earth is still alive, the stars are being saved, and he never has to worry about Eden or the COI ever again? He just wishes his mom could hear all this good news.

He's happy. Tends to his plants in the corner of Mary he claims for himself. Goes out on space walks with Ryland every so often. Teaches the little guy in his ball of xenon to swear for once. Even gets to see the beauty of Rocky's ship. He's safe, and happy, and okay. Finally.

But Ryland swears there's a sorrow in his eyes still. Simon's smiles don't go all the way through his face, and Ryland's caught him going extra still during zero gravity moments and just. Staring out the window at the stars.

So just in case, Ryland spends every second he can spare making sure Simon knows this is real. That he's really free, and safe. It's a sensory journey, of touch and sight and sound. Ryland shows him Earth life and movies in the screen room, plays him music and learns Eridian sonnets to duet with Rocky, makes sure Simon is even more careful and attentive of his plants.

It eventually evolves into their sleep, cuddling and gentle touches and whispers of reassurance through all the darkness the (relative) night invites. And Ryland - selfish selfish selfish - even develops a feeling of intimacy and affection for Simon, and his need for him to understand only grows tenfold.

But Ryland never sees it happen. He never gets a spark to ignite in Simon's dull eyes. But his heart still beats, his touch is still gentle, and he stays. He lives. And for both of them, that's plenty.

It isn't until they save Rocky from the taumoeba, agree to go to Erid instead of Earth, and the biodome is complete and safe, does it finally hit.

It's their self imposed weekend, and Grace's day off. They're cleaning the house together. The gentle sway of monotony settles comfortably over them both, just like it has every other Eridian weekend prior.

But suddenly, Ryland can't hear Simon anymore. He calls out, gets no response. He didn't hear the door open or close, so he's still in the house. Just inexplicably quiet.

Ryland panics a little, rushing to the last place he remembers seeing him...

And finds Simon leaning heavily on the kitchen sink, water running and his breathing heavy. He's shaking, and the cup in his hand threatens to join its dirty brethren.

Carefully, Ryland walks over to him. Tries not to startle Simon as he removes the glass from his hand and turns off the water.

But Simon still whips his head around to look at Ryland. And when they lock eyes, Simon is in tears, a combination of grief, sorrow, and unending relief warring with the scared furrow of his brow and hopeful twinge of a smile.

"I'm alive..." he whimpers, and shatters Ryland's heart. "This... isn't heaven...? It's real...?"

And Ryland falls apart, pulling Simon into a tight embrace. Melting into the frantic returning curl of Simon's arm around him, pressing into the body against him and letting that hand curl tightly into his shirt. Whispers reassurances and confirmations and the gentle truth over and over and over, just as he's been doing the past few months, no less true.

"You chose me..." Simon whispers into Ryland's shoulder, right by his ear. It's full of every emotion Ryland has had to stomp down since they arose. "You did all this on purpose- Why?"

He has to look at him. Ryland pulls back to take Simon's face in his hands, look him eye to eye, through all the tears and shaking and whimpering. And he announces, with every ounce of love he's had to hold back, "Because it was you. Because you deserved everything."

What is heaven, if not everything that's too good to be true being both? And what is life, if not heaven given breath and a beating heart?

The flickering sparks in Simon's eyes falter. "That- that was enough?" he chokes out.

Ryland just presses their foreheads together, cradling Simon's head, heart, life in his palms, and declares without a single doubt, "It was all you ever needed."

The spark becomes an inferno, and they fall into each other's arms. Happy tears, a weightless relief, and the final piece of peace slotting into place.

standing front view + dancing

standing, posing, height diff

white dress shirts (dancing)

posing (hands raised, kneeling) (the acting is so bad lol sorry matthew)

top down angle!!! awesome!!! (+posing)

another front view dancing one

another one~

another skit lol

inkigayo performance with suits