Kate's Couples Corner

Stay tuned next month to hear about marital S.O.S.’s. As always, please feel free to contact me if you or a loved one is in need of individual, marital, or family counseling.

This month, I’m zoning in on staying connected to your partner. In the age of smart phones, Netflix and the ability to do work 24/7 on your home computer, it is inevitable that relationships have taken a tole. In an effort to show you how easy it can be to get your relationship back as the number one priority, I’m sharing with you some fail-proof ways to add 5 extra hours of connection with your partner throughout the week, thanks to relationship guru Dr. John Gottman. 1. Partings: Give warm farewells. Gottman estimates this takes a mere 2 minutes, for 5 workdays per week: a total of 10 minutes per week. 2. Greetings: Have a debriefing conversation together at the end of each workday. Gottman allows for a 20 minute chat, for 5 workdays: a total of 1 hour 40 minutes per week. 3. Admiration and appreciation: Find a way to compliment your partner every day and to show them you appreciate them–a 5 minute task, 7 days a week: a total of 35 minutes. 4. Affection: Show physical affection for your partner. Hug, pat, kiss, touch. Gottman specifically advises goodnight kisses! 5 minutes a day, 7 days a week: a total of 35 minutes. 5. Weekly date: This is the big one, time-wise. Gottman allows for 2 hours, once per week, to connect, chat, dream, plan, and enjoy each other’s company. Even if the date night happens in your own kitchen with the kids at a friend’s house and the lights turned low, it counts! I challenge you all to add 5 extra hours of connection with your partner this week and see the difference it makes in your relationship. If you are interested in learning more about what therapy might look like for you or your loved ones, please call me at 319.540.8146 or email me at [email protected]. Kate Fish, MA, TLMFT