╳⊹ BASTIAN ⊹╳

🔥 DANTE SPARDA — SFW HEADCANONS

Sleeps with the TV on. But not out of laziness. The sound helps keep the silence from creeping in. After losing people close to him, silence started to sound like a threat.

(BEFORE DMC3) Still keeps the amulet that was given to him when they were kids, even if he pretends he doesn’t care. It’s shoved in a drawer somewhere, scratched up and dull. He checks on it sometimes without realizing.

Bad with names, great with faces. He’ll never remember a demon’s name, but if you helped him once five years ago, he’ll offer you pizza like you're family.

Flirts to deflect, especially when conversations get serious. Ask him how he feels about Vergil now, and he’ll make a joke about being the prettier twin.

Secretly plays guitar. Bluesy, slow stuff, never in front of others. It’s the one thing he does that reminds him of Eva, their mom, who used to sing.

Orders every single pizza “extra extra cheese” and then yells “THIS ISN’T EXTRA ENOUGH” at delivery guys like a diva.

Thinks Bluetooth is a demon and refuses to use AirPods. “Not putting that demonic soul-sucker in my ear, thanks.”

Has definitely been banned from multiple karaoke bars for screaming Bon Jovi.

Believes Febreeze can exorcise a room. “Smells like demon ass in here—psh-psh-psh—boom, purified.”

🔥 DANTE SPARDA — NSFW HEADCANONS

1000% a giver. His whole thing is making you feel good. He wants the moans, the praise, the squirming. He's in it for the show as much as the finish.

Loves messy makeouts, hands all up your shirt, your thighs, your hair. He’s tactile and insatiable once he knows you’re into it. He's a physical lover through and through.

Very vocal. Expect dirty talk, playful teasing, even praise if he sees you’re into it. "Damn, look at you… you gonna take all of me like that, sweetheart?"

Has a thing for being interrupted mid-fight — blood pumping and adrenaline high — the way you grab him after a mission? Game over.

Secretly really into overstimulation. Let him go down on you and he won’t stop after one. Not even after two. He wants to hear you beg.

❄️ VERGIL SPARDA — SFW HEADCANONS

Sleeps with a sword near him at all times. Not out of fear, but control. He’s haunted by how powerless he once felt. It’s a comfort, like a knight sleeping in his armor.

Reads philosophy and poetry, especially existentialism and epic poetry (Dante’s Inferno, obviously). There’s a tenderness in the way he marks lines he resonates with, even if he denies feeling emotions.

Still can't eat spicy food and it infuriates him because Dante can. Vergil sees it as a personal failing and won’t admit it.

Feels guilt in quiet, invisible ways, like sharpening Yamato longer than necessary when he’s trying not to think about Nero.

Watches over Nero without ever speaking, perched on rooftops or standing in crowds, making sure his son is safe from a distance. One day he might say something. One day. (He didn't)

Once walked into a glass door at a museum and then blamed it on “human architecture” being flawed.

Has no idea how phones work. He will stare at it like it’s a cursed artifact. If you call him, he just glares at it until it stops.

Thinks memes are witchcraft. You show him a cat video, and he whispers “unholy.”

Talks like Shakespeare but accidentally texts in all caps because he doesn’t understand keyboard functions. "WHERE IS THE SWORDSMITH? —VERGIL"

❄️ VERGIL SPARDA — NSFW HEADCANONS

VERY INTENSE, usually controlled, and most times dominant. He wants to undo you with precision. One look and you know you're not walking tomorrow.

Loves edging. You think you're close? No, no. He’ll stop, pull back, whisper “Not yet.” He wants absolute surrender before you come.

With a low, deep voice in your ear. “You will remember this.” And oh, you will. He doesn’t raise his voice, he commands... quietly. Its more empowering when it looks like you're hanging on his every word.

Biting kink. Absolutely leaves deliberate marks on your neck, collarbone, thighs. Something primal seeps out when he’s really into it like he’s barely holding back something feral.

Soft aftercare king but won’t admit it. He’ll bring you water, clean you up, brush hair from your face, but if you mention it, he goes cold again like “You imagined it.”

⚡ NERO — SFW HEADCANONS

Listens to rock music to pump himself up, but secretly loves sad indie ballads. He blames Kyrie for that influence but totally listens on his own when no one's around.

Has a growing book of sketches; not very good ones, but they're of people he meets, things he’s seen, battles he’s survived. His version of a journal.

Picks fights with Dante as a love language, he doesn’t know how to be soft around him yet, so he pushes instead of pulling.

Low-key terrified of Vergil. Not because he thinks he’ll hurt him, but because he doesn’t know how to be around a father he never had.

Still visits the orphanage where he grew up — drops off supplies, fixes things. The kids call him “Nero the Hero” and he acts annoyed, but he’s there every week.

Says “I’m not mad” before launching a full boss fight.

Gets into fights in grocery stores over the last energy drink.

Cannot cook. Like at all. He set ramen on fire once.

Tries to roast Vergil but ends up roasting himself. "Nice coat, Dad. What is that, from the 1800s? ...Wait."

⚡ NERO — NSFW HEADCANONS

Hotheaded, passionate, and a little desperate. Once he’s got you, it’s on sight. He kisses like he’s mad at you for turning him on so much.

Loves using the Devil Bringer arm. The strength, control, and precision. He’ll pin your wrists, grab your thighs, lift you effortlessly. He’s all about power-play with a needy edge.

Gets flustered when you dirty talk back. You whisper “Harder” or “Don’t stop” and his brain shorts out. “F-Fuck, yeah—okay—”

Breathplay curious. Let him wrap a hand around your throat just enough to own you, and he’s done for. Bonus if you scratch his back! leave marks and he’ll melt.

Rough first, soft later. The first round is pure chaos. The second is slower, sweeter, forehead kisses, murmured “You okay?”s while still buried deep.

🔫 LADY (a.k.a. “Hot Girl With Too Many Guns”)

Carries snacks in her weapons bag. Like… actual snacks. Pulls out a granola bar in the middle of a demon fight. “Low blood sugar’s a bitch.”

Gets into bar fights on purpose. Because she was “bored.” You once walked in on her arm wrestling a demon bartender while yelling “NO MAGIC, YOU COWARD!”

Her lock screen is a meme of Dante crying. She updates it regularly.

Steals your clothes. Not in the cute “wearing your shirt” way. In the “You blinked and your entire wardrobe is gone” way.

Calls Dante ‘Uncle Dumbass.’ Refuses to explain why.

She’ll flirt with you just to make you flustered. “Nice shirt. Would look better on my floor. Just saying.”

Insists you two do “girls night” once a week. Which includes tequila, target practice, and her psychoanalysis of your love life.

Once brought a demon home like a stray cat. “He looked cold.” You had to exorcise it while she ate chips.

🔫 LADY — NSFW HEADCANONS

Power top energy. Period. She’ll pin you, ride you, boss you around and you’ll love every second of it.

Has a thigh kink. Yours, hers, anyone’s. If you’re sitting on her lap? That’s her weakness.

Gets off on control! Holding your wrists, making you beg, watching you squirm. She wants to hear you say her name.

Bit of a tease. Will whisper things in public just to make you flustered. “Wanna know what I’m not wearing under this coat?”

Loves risky locations. Back of the van, gun locker, office chair — if she knows someone might hear? She’s into it.

🦇 TRISH (a.k.a. “Lightning Mommy With Issues”)

Does NOT understand human social norms. “Why are people afraid when I teleport behind them and say ‘Boo’?”

Genuinely thinks her and Lady are in a buddy-cop movie. Narrates your life like it’s an action trailer. “One half-demon. One lightning goddess. One confused bystander (you).”

Spends an unhealthy amount of time perfecting dramatic entrances. That thunderclap wasn’t random. She planned that.

Knows she’s hot and uses it for discounts. She once got you free sushi because she winked at the manager and called you her “mortal consort.”

Terrifies Siri. Her phone won't answer when she says “Hey Siri,” because it’s scared.

She’s always touching you. Hand on your lower back, brushing your hair, whispering “You look delectable today.” Yes, she’s doing it on purpose.

🦇 TRISH — NSFW HEADCANONS

Wickedly sensual. She moves slow, talks dirty in that low velvet voice, and knows exactly how to wreck you mentally and physically.

Can literally shock you in bed. Soft, teasing jolts across your skin, building anticipation. It’s like being edged by electricity.

Dominant with a worship kink. She wants you to beg and praise her. Call her a goddess and she will absolutely lose control. (Like… why wouldn’t you anyway? It’s Trish.)

Loves lingerie. Like, expensive, scandalous stuff. She wears it under her regular clothes just to catch you off guard.

Aftercare queen. The moment it’s over, she’s stroking your hair, kissing your forehead, whispering affirmations like “You did so well for me, sweetheart.”

Likes to “charge” your kisses. Literally. You get a tiny shock every time she kisses you. She finds it hilarious. You are currently plotting revenge.

Will fight Lady over who gets to sit next to you in the car. Every time. “Shotgun.” “Trish, we’re in your car.”

💀 NICO SFW HEADCANONS

Her purse is just a gun holster with a stick of gum and a Zippo lighter. Don’t ask where her wallet is. She hasn’t seen it in three weeks.

Can hotwire anything. Car, vending machine, coffee maker. You left her alone with your smart fridge once. It now plays Cowboy Bebop.

Once made a gun that shoots glitter “for the aesthetic.” She immediately regretted it when she couldn't get it out of her cleavage for a week.

Smokes inside even when you beg her not to. “Babe, if the demon smoke ain’t killin’ me, this lil ol' cigarette won’t either.”

Has definitely said “I could fix him... or build him better” while actively building a flamethrower.

Will slap your ass in public like it’s nothing. Then laugh like you did something wrong.

Flirts like she’s got nothing to lose. “Damn, sugar... If you weren’t already mine, I’d make you fall for me all over again.”

Will crawl under a car covered in oil and then immediately kiss you after. "What? A little grease never hurt nobody."

Insists on pet names like “darlin’,” “sweet thing,” “hot stuff,” and “my little walking distraction.”

Will try to build you a mech-suit for your birthday. It does not work, but you now have a flamethrower built into your heels.

💀 NSFW NICO HEADCANONS

She’s a filthy talker. Southern drawl, low voice, right in your ear. “Damn, baby, look at you… all wrecked and whimperin’ f’r me.”

Will wreck you with her hands. She builds weapons for a living, what did you think those fingers could do? (I’m on freak timing 🙄)

Gives the messiest head in the business. Spit, moans, eye contact, and she doesn’t stop until you scream her name. “You keep squirming like that, baby, and I might let you come.”

Big dom energy with chaotic switch moments. One minute she’s got you tied to a workbench, next minute she’s whimpering with her legs shaking, begging for more.

Has definitely banged you in the back of the van. More than once. With the windows down. “Hey, if the devil’s watchin’, he oughta learn a thing or two.”