I won't cancel my goal… but I will change its direction
A few months ago, I committed to my goal with great enthusiasm. It was a magic number, $1000. I was working on it passionately, and every time I managed to save some money, I felt like I was getting closer to my dream.
I wanted to buy a tent because I left my home in the north for the south and paid displacement costs you can't imagine. The idea of the tent gave me a sense of security. That if we couldn't go back, or if we entered another cycle of displacement, at least I would have a roof to protect me and my family.
Okay… a ceasefire agreement was made. And there was a possibility of returning to Gaza. To our house. Or to the rubble of our house.
So I said to myself, "Okay, we won't need the tent. My goal has been achieved without me achieving it."
But a few days later, I stood in front of the mirror and saw the exhaustion in my eyes. And I understood my mistake.
The goal was what was holding me together, what was giving me a reason to open my eyes every day while trapped between four walls, far from everything I know.
The goal isn't "a tent." The goal is "security." The goal is "the ability to rise again."
Now, my goal has been adjusted. The number is the same, $1000. But the purchases are different.
Instead of "a tent," my goal has become:
A portion for return expenses to Gaza (rent, transportation, food).
A portion to try to restore basic necessities in the house (anything that makes the place habitable).
A portion for emergencies for any medical expenses or essentials.
Nothing stops. The war has stopped, but the battle of rebuilding and establishing a life needs to begin. And I want to be ready for it.
So my goal is ongoing. I won't cancel it. I will adjust its course, just as we have adjusted all our life plans from the very first minute.
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This thousand-dollar journey is not about a tent or even about renovation. This is my personal journey to prove that they couldn't break my dream, even if they broke my house.
We will rebuild it from scratch. Because life doesn't end, and the will to live is stronger than everything.