Attention reminds me of flame. Im not exactly sure why, but maybe it is the holding of its light to information or tending to the flame of a candle, or the small focused energy of a burning wick. Energy preservation and attention are common themes in the online communities I frequent and the books I read that it feels almost cliche at this point (especially since 2016). I would recognize the importance of such advice and file it away as yet another thing I “should work on”. I would read and reflect on the pillars of this cross section - energy, boundaries, and attention- dissected via insightful books like How to Do Nothing and popular instagram accounts, like Mckensie Mack, speaking of boundary work and the attention economy. But theres a difference between recognizing/understanding and embodying concepts.
With so many events that NEED to be paid attention to and ones own particular needs and processes, its difficult to define whats an ethical balance between individual work and community based needs and awareness. Im very imperfect but trying. I recognized the issues of refreshing infinite news cycles, psychotic death scrolls and internet rage are distracting and draining of precious resources. Not to say that internet rage isnt an important outlet, isnt an important facet of listening to your community, but certainly not all the time. There is a responsibility to be aware and connected to community and the world at large: paying attention to the insanity of the insurrection and it’s spread of hate and misinformation (and the implications it has on the future especially with the acquittal of Trump) and living in a community of the highest new cases of coronavirus per capita in the world.
Late last year, Ive been thinking of practical ways to actually direct my energy to things I love while staying active in other spaces. I created an organized board for sustainable activism using an organizational app, a monthly list of actions and people/groups/organizations to allocate funds to. I recognized times of the day where I need to focus on my own creative work and created boundaries which insulated myself from app notifications, emails, work communications, texts, etc. Sometimes I even have to ban by partner from bringing up the news, and even implore that he not look himself (though I do realize its extremely important to have people who you can discuss these events and justice issues with as a form of processing and engagement- Im very very lucky to have the people I love around me). These and other strategies seem very straightforward but, I dont know, I guess I never enacted hard boundaries before. I let the distraction take me because it was a way to avoid doing the work, a tool of procrastination. At 35, Im just fully understanding in my body how my energy is the most important resource of my life. I dont want to give it away easily anymore. I have a precious finite amount and I hope to use it well. Im fully recognizing the importance of attention, attention is sacred. “Attention taken to its highest, is the same thing as prayer. It presupposes faith and love. Absolutely unmixed attention is prayer.” - Simone Weil. I want the things I love in this world to hold my attention like the murmured devotion of prayer.
vaporwave
kianamaiart
jbbartram-illu
turnnoffyourmind
baratheonpilled
discoholicmusic
