Cake and Crows

ugh, Rinoa

You know, if Rinoa were a man, Rinoa would be creepy as shit. Like, she completely ignores all of Squall’s go-away signals, gets up in his personal space, drags him on to the dance floor despite his explicit refusal — sorry, game devs, that behavior ain’t charming no matter what gender you are.

Large group of kids: Hey, we wanna play Pathfinder! Me: Why? Kids: Can you run it for us? Me: No. I have to run a different game today. Maybe you guys should run an easier game. Kid: But I’ve already made my character. He shows me his ability scores, race, class, and skill list. Me: Great. Now all you need is to figure out your ability modifiers, alignment, racial modifiers to ability scores, speed, armored or encumbered speed, vision, racial traits, class features, spell list, spells prepared or granted, deity, feats, skill ranks per level based on class, bonus skill ranks from race or Intelligence modifier, class skills vs. non-class skills, skill rank allocations, Fortitude save, Reflex save, Will save, hit points, base attack bonus, weapon proficiencies, armor proficiencies, shield proficiencies, weapons carried, weapon ranges, weapon prices, weapon handedness, weapon damage dice, weapon damage types, weapon critical threats, ammunition, armor worn, shield carried, armor price, shield price, armor weight, shield weight, Armor Class bonus, starting gold by class, equipment, initiative modifier— Kid: That sounds really complicated. Isn’t there an easier version? Me: That is the easier version. That’s just the material from the Beginner Box. If you were playing the full version, you’d also need your size, carrying capacity, languages, flat-footed Armor Class, touch Armor Class, Combat Maneuver bonus, Combat Maneuver defense— Kid: Maybe we should play something else. Me: Yeah, here’s Lady Blackbird. You’re running it.

I’ve always been incredibly proud of my Wonder Woman costume as it has so many ‘first incredibly successful costuming moments’ associated with it: My first very successful corset; my first foray into sewing with lycra; my first time making reasonable ‘hard armour’ parts; my first comic book cosplay; my first ‘dream’ cosplay; my first (and I reckon, only) cosplay to achieve some kind of international recognition that made me feel a part of the international cosplay scene and not just some silly unimportant Aussie. So it will always hold a special place in my heart and despite my own insecurities about portraying her, I always feel my most comfortable as Wonder Woman (only Snow White comes close & as I’ve only worn her once it’s hard to compare).

The post in question is here, for those who are curious. Unfortunately, I’m gonna have to disagree with you on this one. I like Padme.  I think that the Padme of The Phantom Menace has a lot to offer as a role model for young girls. I think that even the Padme of Attack of the Clones exhibits some amazing qualities that are refreshing to see. Padme as an individual is just absolutely fantastic. Everything about Padme’s relationship to Anakin? It’s awful. Everything about her role in Revenge of the Sith? Atrocious.

We’re now in year six of sunny post-racial America, and things are going great, right!?! We have a biracial president, and, uh…Halle Berry won an Oscar that time…and…a vocal contingent of Americans will eagerly whip themselves into a racist frenzy over a kid having a white mom and a black dad in a fucking Cheerios commercial. Up top, people-who-say-racism-is-over!

I don’t even mean in a “in this day and age” sense, even; the fact that this is a big deal for people literally defies my understanding.  My parents were an interracial couple, and so were each of their parents. And roughly half of their parents, as well.  For me growing up, it was so normal and okay that I never even realized it might have actually been a source of not only controversy, but legal trouble in my grandparents’ day, much less that it was an issue in the present day.  And probably a good thing, because nearly any relationship I could possibly have would essentially be an “interracial” one by definition at this point.

Like, why the hell did that kid just get taller? Did he go through puberty in like twelve seconds?

A few weeks ago my mom stapled pages of a story in one of her women’s magazines together and handed it to me. She gave it to me pretty much with the tag lines “for your feminist blog” and “something new to consider.” Indeed it was; she knows me well.

The story is titled “I was forced to be pregnant.” With a title like that, reading it was actually not on the top of my to read list. I thought it was about women not exercising their right to choice. I was very, very wrong on that one.

Have you ever heard of Reproductive coercion? It is a term that was quite recently coined by the advocates against domestic violence to describe a certain type of abuse some women face. It occurs when a man pressures their partner to have kids and/or impregnates them against their will. Reproductive coercion comes in three different types: 1. Emotional pressure that turns into verbal and physical abuse. 2. Sabotaging birth control 3. Marital rape Over 75% of women 19-49 who reported once experiencing domestic violence also endured some type of reproductive control by men. It’s all about control and domination over a woman’s body.

The first story in the magazine is about a woman who got married around 36 years of age. After a few months of dating her boyfriend talked excitedly about having children. After he proposed he began calling her “The Babymaker.” She then confided with him that one of her fallopian tubes was blocked. He in return insisted she see a fertility doctor. She recounts, “I had finally met a great guy who was eager to start a family with me. What woman wouldn’t fall for that?” Soon after her honeymoon he persisted on in an obsessive manner, but his efforts had to be temporarily halted as she had to get emergency back surgery. Alas, 6 months into recovery he was back to pressuring her again. She was in much pain at the time due to her back, but she agreed to In Vitro Fertilization. She then became pregnant, but soon miscarried. In response, her husband grabbed her by the neck, choking her. He apologized, blaming his outburst on his grief and had her sign up for another round of IVF. And then a third round. She tried to put him off with the excuse that she needed to weigh more before she could take treatments, her husband forced her to get on the scale often and filled the fridge with fattening foods. “It hurt that all I was good for was getting pregnant.” She recounts. At the end, he screamed at her, threatening to replace her with a maid if she couldn’t get pregnant and she told him she no longer wanted to have his child. He destroyed bedroom furniture, pushed her down the stairs and threatened her with a gun. She fled to a domestic violence shelter.

The second story was about a woman who faced marital rape. This woman was 40, had a then boyfriend and two children from a previous marriage. After telling her boyfriend she did not want any more children, her boyfriend refused to wear a condom and began to rape her.  She then became pregnant with her third child. Birth control was never an option for her because she couldn’t hide pills anywhere for he went through all of her belongings. Three months after giving birth, he raped her again, impregnating her with twins. She lost the twins in a physical fight with him, but soon became pregnant again. During her recovery she begged her obstetrician to remove her ovaries and devise a lie to tell him; that she had cancer. After a decade of sexual abuse and violence she was able to get a job that kept her out of the house and often times traveling.

One in four callers to the National Domestic Abuse hotline said that their partners had tried to force them to become pregnant. Why? As one woman stated, “Its like he wants to own me from the inside out.”  Having a baby is the perfect tie that binds. These type of abusers want to create a circumstance in which their partner is dependent on him.

WHAT’S THAT HAVE TO DO WITH PLANNED PARENTHOOD?

I went to the Student Health Center—they were completely unhelpful, choosing to lecture me about the importance of safe sex (recommending condoms) instead of actually listening to my problem.

Then I went to Planned Parenthood. The Nurse Practitioner took one look at my fading bruises and stopped the exam. She called in the doctor. The doctor came in and simply asked me: “Are you ready to leave him?” When I denied that I was being abused, she didn’t argue with me. She just asked me what I needed. I said I need a birth control method that my boyfriend couldn’t detect. She recommended a few options and we decided on Depo. 

When I told her that my boyfriend read my emails and listened to my phone messages and was known to follow me, she suggested to do the Depo injections at off hours when the clinic was normally closed. She made a note in my chart and instructed the front desk never to leave messages for me—instead, she programmed her personal cell phone number into my phone under the name “Nora”. She told me she would call me to schedule my appointments; she wouldn’t leave a message, but I should call her back when I was able to.

And that was it. No judgment. No lecture. She walked me to the door and told me to call her day or night if I needed anything. That she lived 5 blocks from campus and would come get me. That I wasn’t alone. That she just wanted me to be safe.

I never called her to come to my rescue. But I have no doubt that she would have come if I had called. She kept me on Depo for a year, giving me those monthly injections in secret, helping me prevent a desperately unwanted pregnancy. 

so i have this theory

dadbert gets pissed off enough to strife with bro whos been being a shit lately