*shows up to ur fandom 5 years late with fanart*

it's incredibly validating to see all these transmascs attesting and agreeing to the thoughts I had in response to the stealthing discussion ^^

i am a transmasc person with very long hair and a beard. I wear lots of jewelry and my favorite color is pink, I’m not particular about only wearing “men’s clothing” I just kind of wear whatever I want on any given day. And I STILL mostly get read as a cis man particularly after having had top surgery, and often these days when I do experience transphobia from a stranger it’s actually more likely to be from someone mistaking me for a transfeminine person and reacting accordingly. There have been times in which people have used masculine terms for me with a sort of air of aggression that makes it really clear they think they’re misgendering me. Which makes me furious, not so much for my own sake but on behalf of whatever actual transfem this person is going to run into who will be actually hurt by that! I hate the ease with which I see other guys who’ve had similar experiences go “haha, it’s gender affirming!” It’s not, really, I don’t experience euphoria at the suffering of trans women. It’s really, really frustrating to me to see other transmascs act like we don’t have access to male privilege. I’ve been out for a really long time now and have been through a lot of different stages of presentation and passing. And I’ve been keenly aware every step of the way what a different experience I’ve been having as compared to my transfem friends. It doesn’t erase the horrific and traumatizing experiences I’ve had with transphobia as well. I’m just not experiencing transmisogyny on top of that, and that matters immensely. It’s palpable.

idk exactly how to put this because quite obviously nobody ever has to want to have sex with anybody, and you don’t really even have to explain or justify that. sure, totally. but idk! I did once have this idea of myself as a lesbian who would never at any point interact sexually with anyone with a penis. and then, like. I learned more about who can be a woman and the types of bodies women might have. I learned more about all the types of different sex people can have, regardless of the types of genitals they might have. I found myself attracted to trans women, regardless of the types of genitals they might have. I got in the habit of thinking of my sexual partners as individual people with their own unique bodies and preferences rather than as sets of physical attributes and associated actions!!! And I just kind of…… got over it? Sometimes I feel crazy because I just don’t think it’s that big of a deal like at all! Again, again, always, nobody ever has to have sex with anybody they don’t want to! Trans women don’t have to have sex with ME!! I just do think it’s worthwhile to like… examine how your preferences work and if they’re actually in line with your principles (not talking to you, of course, but to the weirdos who’ve come into your inbox declaring they’ll only fuck people of a certain AGAB). For me, I found an immense cognitive dissonance between calling myself a lover of all women vs what I was doing and saying in practice, so I examined that. And I feel my life is richer and better for it. I wish more people were at least open to the idea that maybe they have a limited view of bodies and sex and sexuality and that maybe they could be having a better time if they examined that instead of doubling down.

the anon about feeling validated by support from tmes has me returning to thoughts ive been wondering for a while: i am tme, and i want to support trans women more, but am afraid of falling into an unintentionally harmful mentality. kind of like the way men act as 'white knights' towards women, or the whole 'white savior' mentality. i dont know what the equivalent would be towards trans women. ive been trying to listen, learn, and share online, but i struggle to make friends thus do not participate in local queer communities (if there even is one by me?) and, ive been rather oblivious to the extent of transmysoginy until recently. do you or any of your followers have thoughts on what tmes can do to uplift trans women, and where any lines might be in terms of letting our privileges get in the way? is there any idea on what is the healthiest way to support trans women online and in-person, without creating unhealthy dynamics due to tme privilege? especially since i want to be a participant in-person local communities and activism later. personally, am going to start online and get a grasp of whats best, and prioritize/trust the voices of trans women. im sorry if any of this is confusing or ignorant, either way my current priority is listening, learning, and uplifting my sisters however i can, and however they all need and want.

My hot take: it wouldnt be fatphobic to declare that you dont want to sleep with fat women bc sex is not political activism and bodies are not public resources

anon’s explanation— that “sex is not political activism and bodies are not public resources”— doesn’t match the claim. it’s the answer to the claim of “why its not fatphobic to simply not fuck fat women or not want to fuck fat women.” which is true.

there's no inherent magic to men that makes them uniquely capable of oppressive violence. it's the social and systemic class they inhabit. it's the systems that enable them to perform said acts

"I'm only attracted to afab people" is just shorthand for "I don't know what a neopussy is, and if I ever knew that id seen one I would look for something 'wrong' with it."

if I may I'd like to soapbox in here for a minute

i support trans people but im only into cis women and maybe afab nonbinary people. i don’t know why that’s a big deal. if you go on dating apps there’s also trans women saying they only want to date cis women.

I genuinely don’t understand the cishet obsession with justifying not wanting to fuck people. I have plenty of friends who have hit on me and I turned them down because I found them unattractive. I didn’t however explain why I turned them down I just said no and everyone was fine with it because saying no is a completely reasonable response to someone trying to initiate a sexual or romantic relationship. Why do cis people have to go “well I don’t fuck trannies” every time they have to turn down a transfem.

Sorry but I’m exclusively attracted to afab people. I wasn’t sent to conversion therapy twice as a teenager only to have people on the internet guilt me into trying to like people assigned male just like the Mormon counselors wanted. I will always advocate for trans rights but this kind of rhetoric will only hurt you. You cannot guilt or coerce people into sleeping with you or rather, you can, but you should’t.