Personal Blog

ME:

i’ve also never been capable of talking to babies or small children in, like, “baby talk” voice? or anything like that manner.  i’ve always talked to them like they’re just…people, with unique personalities and brains and respectable individualism. 

If you’re adopted internationally into the United States, BY adoption LAWS you’re legally a citizen, but you still have to apply for documentation and if it’s not done by the age of 18 you have to pay over $500 and get a judge to reopen your adoption case. 

Even More Fun Fact: No one actually tells adoptive families, this so many find out after they’re 18 when their kid needs to get a passport, wants to apply for financial aid, get certain jobs, vote or some other shit that requires proof of citizenship and now it’s too late because they’re 18 or over. 

AND EVEN MORE FUN FACT! You can sometimes even be deported because you can be considered foreign-born, non-citizens! 

Oh and they won’t accept adoption papers or a birth certificate as proof. 

Many people are finding that even a birth certificate is not valid proof anymore. Texas birth certificates are notorious. So notorious that I have 3 friends who can’t use them to get passports! Don’t think everything is hunky dory. You must nail down your citizenship.

http://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/filling-out-form-n-600-application-certificate-citizenship.html

Also! It takes up to 12 months to get a replacement certificate. If you urgently need your Natz Cert to visit your dying relative in another country, the word you want to use is ‘Expedite’. Not ‘ASAP’. Not ‘rush’. Expedite. Write a letter explaining why you need it expedited, if you do. Otherwise the USCIS data-entry grunts (me!) aren’t allowed to throw it into the expedite line and it gets relegated to the Backlog Crypts. 

Also! You need to get a new Naturalization Certificate if your name and/or gender legally changes, because a lot of places want your proof of citizenship for things like Social Security and student loans and Medicaid/EBT/welfare benefits and drivers’ licenses. 

ALSO ALSO both the N600 ($600) that you use to apply for your Naturalization Certificate in the first place and N565 ($345) that you use to apply for a replacement certificate are eligible for FEE WAIVERS. It’s called an I912. Learn it, love it, use it. 

*Assuming Loki ends up fighting alongside the Avengers in Infinity War*

Loki: *motioning to Wanda* Why is this one here?

Bruce: *quietly in the background* That’s what I keep asking!

Tony: *pats Bruce on the shoulder* Welcome to my world.

Loki: *to Thor* Didn’t you tell me she was fighting alongside Ultron? And working with that one bad organization? What’s it called…?

Bucky: HYDRA?

Loki: Yeah that’s it!

Tony: Well our amazing leader thought it be a great idea to add her to the team.

Bucky: But she worked with Hydra?!

Bruce: Willingly.

Bucky: WILLINGLY?!

Tony: *pats Bucky on the shoulder* Our dear friend Steve decided that her past actions could be overlooked.

Bucky: *to Steve* Are you serious?!

Steve: She’s not like that anymore! She’s good now like you Bucky-

Bucky: Like me?! She willingly joined Hydra, I didn’t!

Loki: Comparing your best friend to the witch? I expected better from you dear Captain.

Thor: Captain Rogers, you enlisted this woman onto our team even after what’s she done to us, to Dr. Banner?

Fury (because why the fuck not?): And her hand in creating Ultron?

Bucky: Dear God what did she do?

Bruce: Messed with all our heads causing me to lose control and Hulk out on a city full of innocent people, and triggering Tony’s PTSD which prompted him to take the scepter which eventually led to Ultron.

Tony: *to Bucky* And I’m sure you know from experience that having someone mess with your head is anything but fun.

Bucky: I can’t believe I’m hearing this.

Loki: Neither do I. I mean I’ve done some terrible things but I’ve lived long enough to understand accountability.

Thor: Loki is right. Why hasn’t she faced the consequences of her actions?

Steve: She’s just a kid!

Tony: Oh for god’s sake she’s 26 Rogers!

Bucky: Stevie I can’t believe this. *Leaves the room*

Steve: Bucky wait! *chases after him*

Bruce: *to Tony* I’m so sorry I left you to deal with this.

Tony: *sighs* It’s okay Brucie Bear, I wouldn’t want to be around her after everything either. Who can blame you for taking off?

Thor: Anthony I must also apologize for leaving so abruptly. I didn’t think the Captain would make such poor decisions.

and finally after a series of unsuccessful and generally unmemorable clumsy pikachu ripoffs, nintendo comes out with a pokemon… whose entire concept is boldfacedly, ‘clumsy pikachu ripoff’