do the impossible

me: -reads directions on box-

me: ok -throws the box in the trash-

"i'm a fucking piece of pizza,"

"holy shit toto, we sure as fuck ain't in kansas anymore,"

"i ain't fucking with these christmas lights anymore,"

"why is the only angry one black?"

"get in loser, we're going sledding,"

"jesus fucking christ, that cookie hot as shit,"

"ah yes, my meth lab is ready,"

"i need this life vest 'cos i'm drowning in the pussy,"

"i could kill you right now, no one would wear you scream,"

"i could go back and pretend to be you,"

"fashion police, you're definitely under arrest,"

"you're tearing this family apart, ___"

"what do you mean you're being murdered? that's illegal, people can't do that,"

"i'm wanted for stealing yo girl/boy,"

"wanna hear a joke? your future,"

"i would like to order all the money,"

"when i see stars i think of you. because you're only beautiful from a distance,"

"do it for the vine,"

"you dress like an idiot,"

"girl/boy, are you because i want to take you out,"

"hey you forgot something. your social life,"

"help me hide this body in here,"

"did you just propose, using emojis?"

"do drugs they said. it will be fun they said,"

"it's called capitalism,"

"thank you for helping me commit cannibalism,"

"shit, we on national television,"

"bitch, throw one more snowball at me,"

"can you leave my house please?"

"i'm sensing you're a bit of a bitch,"

"can i pay you in swag?"

"excuse me, do you know where i can find the booty?"

"what the flipper?"

"santa isn't real,"

"what do penguins do in a race? they peng-win,"

"a milkshake ain't a goddamn pizza,"

"locked up because my eyebrow game was too strong,"

"man, look at all this fuckin' dope,"

"fuck it, i ain't running,"

"hey, do you wanna join my gang?"

"i'll ask my mom,"