gabz

Getting into an argument with my partner because I said they should eat my body if I die before them in a survival situation and they refuse to entertain the notion. "I'm not saying you should kill me, I'm saying if you outlive me you should eat me," I say. "NO," they respond.

i wanna be some weird little girl’s bug she found on the ground outside. so loved, even briefly.

theres a knight in my backyard stabbing the ground with his sword trying to render my soil barren by killing the worms but luckily ive trained them all in classical ballet and they keep pirouetting away from the blade

you can’t get sentences like this anywhere else

i am v cute and v submissive please boss me around and tell me i’m pretty

“horror movies are about love” Ok so that guy got his arm cut off and replaced with a chainsaw because romance isn’t dead?

yeah exactly

death of the author this, death of the author that, what about death of the reader? if you read this i’m going to kill you

*reads this*

when u start getting chased by a flaming skull that's when u know u really fucked up

bitches hate when other people are in the kitchen because they’ve spent their entire lives being criticized for doing tasks imperfectly and having their eating habits policed and now have incredible anxiety about other people judging their cooking choices that can’t be easily explained in a few words as to why they’re acting so hostile about someone else being near them during this very vulnerable process. it’s me, i’m bitches

excuse me ma’am that is my emotional support milf

Stop looking at Instagram for an impossible to get figure and form and start looking at some ancient pottery figurines

She’s over 1000 years old and I love her

Bro traffic isn't even real its made up, everyone just go forward