Figuring.It.Out.

Ready for another one from Marc?

Episodes like “Kapiushon” are the reason I love Arrow.  Taunt, dramatic and emotional storytelling that is driving towards some larger truth.  We kid about Oliver’s manpain sometimes. Sometimes out of frustration for the things he does. Sometimes for Arrow’s laser focus on the central character, occasionally at the cost of a supporting character’s story. But Oliver Queen is the center of this story for a reason.  

Man or a Monster by Sam Tinnesz and Zayde Wolf

When you close your eyes, what do you see?

Do you hold the light, or is darkness underneath?

In your hands, there’s a touch that can heal

But in those same hands, is the power to kill

Are you a man, or a monster?

Are you a man, or a monster?

Are you a man, or a monster?

When you look at yourself, are you a man

Or a monster?

It’s so hard to tell which side you’re on

One day is Hell, the next day is the dawn

The lines are blurred, you keep rubbing your eyes

The tables turn, now it’s time to survive

Are you a man, or a monster?

Are you a man, or a monster?

Are you a man, or a monster?

When you look at yourself, are you a man

Or a monster? 

You can’t take back the damage you’ve done

Oh, you can hide, but you can’t run

No, you can’t take back the damage you’ve done

Afraid of what you might become

A man or a monster

Arrow is driving towards bigger questions with this character.  Who is Oliver Queen? Is he a hero? Is he a man at all? Or is he something much worse? This deep examination should force us to reflect on our own humanity, compassion and moral compass. It’s a lofty goal for a television show that’s “just on the CW” or “just a comic book show” but these are questions most shows are too afraid to ask. Arrow isn’t about Oliver’s manpain. It’s about his trauma. Real, excruciatingly painful, trauma and Oliver has to deal with it or he’ll never truly be free. 

Arrow is pushing Oliver, and us, towards these questions because they require answers. Since Oliver is the only one who can provide those answers, Arrow forced him to face the darkness tonight. So he can find his way to the light. Real, lasting, life sustaining, light. This show was never just about a man becoming a hero. This show is about saving a man’s soul… but first we have to start with confession.

Let’s dig in…

Robert Queen to Moira [Arrow 1x20 “The Undertaking”]

Yeah, okay — I’d like to trade in my front row angsty-ex-fiancé tickets for every slow burn, best friend storyline on the planet, please?

Oliver and Felicity cleaning up the lair together, getting gross and sweaty doing all the heavy lifting themselves because it’s not like they can hire a crew to help them piece the top-secret Arrow cave back together.

Oliver and Felicity collapsing with water and take-out at the end of each day because I seriously cannot feel my arms anymore. Can you see them? Are they still there?

Oliver and Felicity not wanting to go home the night the lair is deemed good as new because there’s something even lonelier about dark rooms and empty beds after spending — enjoying — their days together.

Oliver and Felicity lingering awkwardly and verbally stumbling around each other until one of them blurts out movie night? 

Oliver and Felicity sitting on opposite ends of the couch in the newly-empty loft with a bowl of popcorn between them, apologizing every time their feet so much graze each other.

Oliver and Felicity running through so many movie marathons over the weeks that they revert to sickeningly cheesy and horribly filmed sequels.

(Oliver lingering a little too long every time she falls asleep, tucking a blanket up around her chin and brushing her hair back from her face before he takes his exit.)

(Felicity totally fucking faking it.)

Oliver and Felicity taking Oliver’s lunch breaks together in his new office and trading turns between strategizing his mayoral agenda and planning out how she can get her company back — working as a team.

Oliver and Felicity getting so excited when she convinces the board to reinstate her that he barely thinks twice before picking her up and spinning her around, her arms thrown around his shoulders and her grinning face buried in his neck.

Oliver and Felicity organizing and directing Star City’s clean-up volunteer groups. Oliver and Felicity visiting patients who’re in the hospital after HIVE’s attack. Oliver and Felicity selflessly picking up their city side-by-side. 

And then — Oliver and Felicity taking countless walks in the park together until Oliver slowly starts to open up to her — his hands trembling but his voice steady and sure. 

Oliver and Felicity, not so much falling in love with each other again as they are re-learning each other — growing separately but somehow healing together, the way it always should have been.

Oliver and Felicity, standing on the other side of five months with their city rebuilt and their future before them, so different and yet infuriatingly the same because I want to kiss you so badly right now but, dammit, I shouldn’t, and doesn’t that sound frustratingly familiar?

Oliver and Felicity throwing out conspicuously flirty quips as often as they shoot each other inconspicuously desperate glances, because this stupid, stubborn thing between them just will not quit.

So I was looking at this scene……

…..and I realised the first words he said to her were actually accurate - she walked into his life……

Felicity Smoak walked

into Oliver Queen’s life way before he showed up at her cubicle

He just hasn’t told her about that first time yet

Lance is dreading finding out what has happened to his daughter. He walks in, probably wracked with nerves over what’s happened, not knowing whether or not Laurel is alive or not. And then he sees Oliver having… Well, essentially a mental breakdown in the corridor. And he’s crying. At this point, Lance has never seen Oliver cry before, I don’t think.

And Oliver’s so ashamed. And you can just see the self-loathing on his face. Because he was meant to protect Laurel, and he failed. And now Laurel’s dead. Oliver is so scared that he’s let Lance down. He’s so utterly afraid that he’s going to lose somebody else, lose Lance because he failed to save another one of his daughters.

I mean, my heart is broken for Laurel right now, and partly because she found purpose with becoming the Black Canary, with her role on Team Arrow, but also because the love of her life, he’s in love with someone else and I’m just…

I can’t stop crying.

(And I’m also really upset because if the writers had paid as much attention to her character as they did in this episode over the last season, if not more, Laurel would have really, really stood on her own. She was great, I thought, and damn it, I knew it was coming, but still.