sorrynotsorry

Random Akatsuki Headcanons! (Once again, I was bored)

I feel like im forgetting some :(

★ Konan never runs out of toilet paper

★ Itachi, Zetsu, and Kakuzu read the ingredients before they drink/eat things

★ Hidan randomly screams "WHAT'S UP, BITCHES?!" whenever he walks into his room even if no one is in there.

★ Tobi sucks on his thumb while he's asleep

★ Pain bites his lips whenever he stubs his toe

★ Sasori once dreamed about sleeping on a tropical island in a bikini

★ Deidara prefers luke–warm showers

★ If Kakuzu existed in modern times, he would definitely own a gun collection.

★ Konan, Deidara, and Sasori would work at a club together to make fun of random people at the Bar

★ Itachi can make his thumb disappear

★ Pain punches walls when he's angry

★ Hidan secretly has a soft–side for babies.

★ Tobi likes his milk warm. The only time he likes cold milk is in the afternoon.

★ Pain is secretly very clumsy

★ Deidara accidentally sticks pencils up his nose whenever he zones out

Note - So, uh...I felt like writing this. This will also be my first time writing for them so sorry if their ooc. ^^ other then that, enjoy.

Warnings - Mentions of having a polyamorous relationship ( that's what it's called right ? ), yandere-ish behaviour.

Fandom - Naruto Shippuden/Naruto

They hate it, it's bad enough that their already partners so, the fact that they both like you is so irritating.

Kakuzu thinks that you shouldn't be with a reckless idiot like Hidan while Hidan thinks you shouldn't be with someone as greedy as Kakuzu.

They fight even more then usual.

The other akatsuki members are more then annoyed. But Hidan and Kakuzu could care less about them. They were more focused on how they could get with you.

Similar to a cat, Hidan will bring you or leave something covered in blood, outside your door.

Kakuzu on the other hand will buy you the most expensive things, hoping that it'll please you.

Konan has suggested a few times that they could just share you instead of fighting over you like two teenage boys.

Whenever you're around, they'll actually act nice to each other. But the moment you leave the room, then the two go back to threating each other.

Can someone make a request? I’m bored and I want to write but I want someone to tell me what they’d like to read. I write:

Angst (usually with absolutely no fluff but I will write with fluff if you need)

SMUT

Modern AU

Straight up fluff

Headcanons of all sorts

I do have characters I’m good at writing for and those I am not that great with.

❤️‍🔥=I am great at it PLEASE REQUEST THEM

🍄= I’m okay with them but I sometimes struggle

🥀= I’m not great at writing them please don’t bully me for it😭

Characters:

Leaf Nin:

Shikamaru❤️‍🔥

Choji🍄

Neji🥀

Naruto🍄

Shino❤️‍🔥

Sasuke❤️‍🔥

Lee🍄

Kiba🥀

Ino🍄

Sakura🍄

Hinata❤️‍🔥

Kakashi❤️‍🔥

Genma🥀

Yamato🍄

Dilfs:

Madara❤️‍🔥

Hashirama❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

Shikaku❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

Choza🥀

Inoichi 🥀

Minato🥀

Jiraiya❤️‍🔥

Fugaku🍄

Asuma❤️‍🔥

Milfs:

Tsunade🍄

Yoshino🍄

Kushina❤️‍🔥

Kurnai❤️‍🔥

Mei🥀

Akatsuki:

Kakuzu❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

Hidan❤️‍🔥

Itachi❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

Pein🍄

Kisame❤️‍🔥

Konan🍄

Deidara🥀

Sasori❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥(only in modern AU) otherwise:🥀

Zetsu🍄

Obito ❤️‍🔥

Tobi🥀

Etc:

Karin🥀

Suigetsu🥀🥀

Orochimaru❤️‍🔥

Jugo 🍄

Killer B🍄

Karui❤️‍🔥

Omoi 🥀

Gaara❤️‍🔥

Temari❤️‍🔥

Kankuro🍄

Of course if there is anyone I didn’t list, still feel free to request them.

Also, feel free to give me a writing prompt or an idea you want me to bounce off of. I can’t always promise perfection, but I can promise maximum effort.

Kakuzu: Do you mean rolls of pennies, or loose?

Hidan: Loose.

Kakuzu: Stacked in floor-to-ceiling piles or a scenario where the roof and windows open up and pennies pour in randomly in all directions until the room is full?

Hidan: Damn, does it make a difference?

Kakuzu: Yes, because I think that stacking them neatly will allow more space and therefore —

Sasori, through the wall: Can you two please shut up? I’ve been trying to get Deidara to go to sleep for an hour now!

Deidara: Hey, I’m not a baby, hm! 

Deidara, through the wall: Hidan, why are you being so cheap? Why didn’t you ask how many quarters can fill the room?

Kakuzu: Oooh, I like that scenario better. Let’s talk about that.

Hidan: What would you rather have; a room filled completely with quarters, or one nickel for every time you’ve ever blinked since you were born?

Deidara: How many times does a person blink?

Kakuzu: I believe I read once that a human blinks close to five hundred and ninety million times in their lifetime. What’s that times five?

Deidara, getting out of bed: Let me get a calculator, hm!