Aki | 30+ | Writer & Professional Struggler | (he/him)
Hiya - I’m Aki, your local neighborhood yapper - I’m a chronically ill, neurodivergent writer. I post random nonsense involving my current interests and other various finds. I love getting curious asks with good intentions & currently take fic requests for wind breaker (the animanga).
about aki ● my fics ● full tag list
image credits: peytonsawyers; saradika; strangergraphics icon from darkersolstice
aki blog roll: @rookitoresources (icon, psds etc) / @akigames (flight rising mostly) / @autisticlinguaphile (language resources) / @akitowrites (personal wip blog)
frequently used tags & posts:
Full Posts.
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Current WBK wips & ideas
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TAGS.
general aki yap tag
aki's yap tag for wbk posts
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notes for navigating the rest of the blog's tags:
all animanga characters are usually tagged with their family name first; i do not tag both versions of a name - ex. umemiya hajime (not: hajime umemiya)
not all characters are tagged for every media i reblog, this is usually only reserved for content I currently have or have had a hyperfocus or special interest in. Or only specific characters from that media I'm interested in will be tagged rather than all characters.
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Hey okay...ignore that last spiral and let me be angry at my dad about stupid surface level things again. Remembered that earlier i was talking about what i needed to pick up at the store (denture adhesive) and kind of semi-joking about how i really need to get a job so i can get around to see someone who can reline my dentures so i use less adhesive all the time
and dad just straight up reminds me and emphasizes firmly (like i've fucking forgotten) that i need to get a job so i can pay back what i owe him
like no shit sherlock, i need a job so i can fucking survive - it was a joke about a big purchase i wont be able to make for MONTHS but sure uh...make me feel like im an errant gambler or something that owes overwhelming debts to a mafia loan shark or bookie or some shit and
.....your boy spiralled a little too close to the spike pit...check the warning tags below before reading beyond the cut. it's barely coherent word ramble rly but i just....yeah jkdlfkj...i need to...put it somewhere...anywhere....until i can talk to someone about it ....
therapy is monday baby boy, we got this
okay going back after writing this all...don't read below this okay? just don't...
....i.....how did....
how did getting angry about my dad and his multiple occurrences of not protecting me....spiral into realizing
...he (not my dad) raped me.
jesus fuck. i....it wasn't just...touching. it wasn't just...
it wasn't simple...i've been using the wrong word all this time...
making it...smaller...making myself feel like i was overreacting, because they all did. and i already know that the way they made it into nothing was bad....but i never realized just how much....even i let it get to me
IT COUNTS AS RAPE
i was raped.
for three years...again...and again...
all this time...i've told myself i was being unfair...refusing to talk to him, refusing to let anyone initiate any sort of interaction or contact between us.
that it was so small of a thing. that i was a bad person. for spiraling every april. for freaking out all these years when i hear his name or his voice or see his face
he raped me.
and they let it happen
no one protected me. i begged. i told people i trusted. and they said it was fine. and then i lashed out in a way that should've been questioned. but instead, i was the one that was punished.
i was punished for fighting my rapist
i....
three fucking years. i was raped. i fought. and then i was punished. on a nightly basis...i am....
so much makes sense and im so mad and hurt and just....
heck...at this point i'm actually surprised i'm as STABLE as i AM
i should really just get back to writing my fic over this but im just conceptually laying in the center of my room and trying not to let out the most visceral scream you've ever heard in your life
skljdlkdjkl
i'll feel better in a bit i'm sure....but i....this is a lot actually...
to make myself feel better with a medical metaphor: i just cracked open a wound that has been festering 20 years...to the point that it's necrotic as fuck and I just released a heck ton of toxins or w/e into my system and it's destroying me for the moment
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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....i actually had something else specific to rant about but I had to pause to do something else and i thought a little too long and simply remembered that my dad has a long history of not taking me seriously and not protecting me from physical, obvious threats....
so yeah...him continuing to emphasize i'm overreacting and letting myself be ruled by anxiety rather than genuinely showing concern and care for my medical troubles....is pretty par for the course ....
i just ....thought he'd changed PFT stupid me i guess
i mean...i suppose he did in some ways, he just approaches things from a different angle
but a knife doesnt stop being a knife just bc they threw it at you rather than directly stabbing you with it
i'm way less angry than i was when it all happened earlier, but of all the things my dad said this morning that upset me - him telling me the same line that everyone does about how they want me to "live a happy life" and "live my best life" when they're literally the ones making it not happy or making it a struggle was...it was a lot...lmaooo
Experienced so much socialization today without intending but I also ended up instigating a popular style fic au wip except in...real life LMAOOOO
went to the wrong pharmacy, didn't realize...and upon me and the very cute tech realizaing what had happened, I deflected into semi-flirting, lore drop and talkinga bout being new to the small town and the fear of small town life... okay yeah...standard-fare right?...we lowkey bonded over small town perceptions and how you inevitably end up with everyone knowing you and your business.
like how in my hometown, I was related to 80% of the town - my last name was WELL KNOWN. and he off-handedly dropped that his dad owns 3 businesses in town and everyone knows him and he loathes it
lowkey flirt but not flirt with him for a bit talking about the game shop i went to and everything and finally shamefully let him get back to work.
anyway - get home and i'm telling dad the story and laughing and then i just STOP short and realize that this guy admitted to probably being a lowkey local celebrity and I was unfazed af because i'm new to town and i don't know adam from steve.
and uh...yeah anyway i may never see this guy again so its why its a wip but LMAO experiencing real life fic prompts out here HELP
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Anya is LIVE right now
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Sometimes having an OC is like "this character is an outlet for my insecurity and trauma" and sometimes it's like "this character is an outlet for my love of vampires :)". Sometimes it's both
Sometimes you think it's "this character is an outlet for my love and nothing more :)" and then you look it over later like "shit. product of the deepest depths of my soul again"
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality
Anya is LIVE right now
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talk about the scene from a wip that you’re most excited about
it's so unfair to ask me about a wip im "most" excited about - because I'm excited about all of my wips at different times and in different ways LMAO. right now i'm very much excited for the DD fic actually but I don't want to talk about any of those scenes here LOL so I'm going to default to the Bodyguard AU and we won't talk about how long its been since I posted a chapter for it.
I think I might've talked a little about the coming scenes in bodyguard AU but I know I've been thinking about the little not-date that Kusumi and Kaji go on where they go out together to a festival and they are SO close to kissing right before someone pulls Kaji away so that Sato can attack Kusumi. And of course following that is where Kusumi freaks out on him unfortunately, but oughh just think about them getting close to kissing okay? T^T
if you were trying to recommend one of your wips to someone without giving any spoilers, what would you say?
Hmm, hard. Because I feel like I do this poorly and always oversell my stuff so it's never easy for me to recommend without spoiling without it being "describe it badly" but uh...
One little wip I've been meaning to get back to is the Time Loop. And the only thing I would say is "If you're interested in Time Loops and everything goes wrong, plus Kaji. Read it."
share a song (or songs) that you feel represents a wip
I think Ike Dweck's "Safe With Me" and Caleb Hearn's "Little Bit Better" is perfect representation for Bodyguard AU
