#negativity cw

i'm in so much pain and i can't wait until this bloody tooth gets pulled on friday. i haven't been able to eat on the right side of my mouth for a year all because my implant failed (2 years later) due to bone degradation (I'm one of the unlucky 1% of failed implants, apparently) and possibly the metal plate of my implant may be broken but the specialist won't be able to tell until i get the surgery done. I have to get it taken out and the whole area bone-grafted and redone. it took six months to see the specialist, and then another month before i could get the surgery. the metal base of my implant is currently just sitting above a hollow space in my jaw, and in turn the tooth is just loosely sitting there in the space. In turn, it's loose and it hurts so much and pain killers aren't doing anything anymore because it's inflamed. AND I grind my teeth at night so I wake up with a jaw that hurts SO much.

I just want to pull this whole tooth out on my own omgggg.

I can't eat solid food anymore because any movement of my tongue jostles the implant and accidentally chewing too hard chomps down on the implant and sending immense pain through my whole right side of my face.

I'm just so upset because this initial implant cost me about 10K WITH insurance and a year and a half from start to finish, and now I have to spend another 10K and another year to fix it.

why is dentistry (AND EYES OMG) NOT COVERED UNDER OHIP UGHHHH.

sorry, I shouldn't whine about this. i know i've got it good since my insurance is REALLY good because of my job (it's covering half of my surgery on friday. it will still cost me 2000$) but then I have to wait until 2027 for my insurance to reset to finish phase 2 of the implant.

for the sake of everyone involved, please do not follow me if you interact with zor/kaya.

this isn't gonna be a callout or whatever, it's just me doing my due diligence to curate my own space & make sure the dash remains a fun & enjoyable space for all of us. if we are mutuals & this concerns you, please read the entire post.

i'm going to officially have this blog on a partial/semi hiatus. i've kind of been on one already, but haven't actually said as much... the reasoning for this is i've continued to titrate onto a new med, and this latest bump is really impacting my mood (i have been struggling HEAVILY in the evenings w everything let alone my rpc stuff). and then this past week i started my temp job + schoolwork ... so i have a lot on my plate to do in the first place let alone this shitty mood. so my activity will be limited. if i am on, i'm likely going to cherry-pick easier threads or just chase whatever spur-of-the-moment muse i get! i hope you guys can understand!

if i’m on, i likely be prioritizing mutuals & a little temperamental with how i get things done (purely in a changing weather way and NOT a you did something to make me upset way)… i’m going to chase serotonin & be mindful of myself more than i typically am!