Aaron and Jesus find a young girl on there way to Hilltop. Damaged by the world around her she tries to adjust to the idea of having a safe place to call home and walls to keep the world at bay.Â
Warning: Violence, death, everything in the walking dead comics, spoilers, kidnapping, some swearing.Â
A walking dead fanfiction.
The dead can’t talk, the dead can’t talk. This had suddenly become my mantra. Kara had tried to kill a couple of the dead a bit back. But they had knives and stabbed her… this didn’t make any sense. Now I’m running through the woods, trying not to cry. Then the unthinkable happened. The walker that stabbed Kara stepped out of the shadows and tackled me to the ground.Â
“Tonight you die!” he said, trying to stab me.
“NO! please!” I yelled, “HELP!” then as if an act of god a gunshot rang through the air and it fell to the ground. Scrambling to my feet, I hid behind a tree.Â
“Hello?” a man said. I didn’t answer, Mom said to trust no one. “We just want to help.” I don’t need help, I thought. Then I realized, sure, I could survive on my own, but that wouldn’t really be living. Kara would tell me to come out, hell... she wouldn’t have let me hide. So, I came out from behind the tree with my hands in the air. Two men stood in front of me.
“Who are you?” I asked trying to sound brave, but all that came out was a timid voice I didn’t even recognize.Â
“I’m Aaron, this is Jesus, we're from a network of communities--” Aaron was interrupted by Jesus.
“I think the kid has been through a lot, maybe we should head back,” he said.
“Good point, you want to come with us kid?” Aaron asked.Â
Trust no one. Don’t just survive. I backed slightly behind the tree, my heart rate rising. Jesus’s face fell, he walked closer to me, slowly, leaning down to my level.
“What’s your name kiddo?”
“M-my name’s Ellie.” I look down at the ground.
“Ellie, that's a really pretty name.”
“Ellie, I know you're really scared right now, but I promise you're safe now, okay?” I nodded, looking up at the smiling bearded man.Â
“Can I… can I go with you?”
“Of course.” Jesus stood, extending his hand, reaching out shakily, I took it. They led me to where their horses were and we started riding, I didn’t really know where. There were only two horses so I rode on the same one as Jesus, which was a bit awkward, but ok. He looked forward most of the time, occasionally glancing down at me with a reassuring smile. I held onto the saddle leaning forward a bit.
I had never ridden a horse before so it was a bit interesting. Definitely beat walking. I was upset about Kara, but I couldn’t think about that right now, when I was alone I could cry. We rode for a long time before coming to a stop.Â
“We’re going to have to camp here for the night,” Jesus said, and Aaron nodded in agreement. “I’ll take the first watch.” Aaron nodded and pulled two blankets from the saddlebag.
“Here, Sweetheart, let me know if it’s not warm enough.”
I’ve always had trouble sleeping, but without Kara, it felt impossible. I just lay wrapped in a blanket, wide awake. I designed it as a good time to talk to Jesus more, see if I’m really safe. I walked over carefully to the log where Jesus sat watching the tree line.Â
“Hi,” he said facing me.
“Can I ask you a few questions, please?”
“Sure, sit down.” I sat next to him.
“Where are you guys from?” I asked.
“A community called Hill Top,” he answered
“Sounds cool,” I said quietly. Kara would have thought it was a cool name.
“Yeah...I’m fine,” I looked down at my shoes, I had no one left. I never cried in front of other people, but right then I was close.Â
“You should probably get some sleep,” he mentioned.
“Can’t,” I said bluntly, “Insomnia.”
“Sorry that stinks,” I felt out of place talking to him, his words were light, optimistic. My words weighed more, and it felt like I would choke on them if I wasn’t careful. I had seen too much of this world to be happy.
“You ever lost someone really important to you?” He looked surprised by my sudden question, though he still answered.
“I’ve lost a lot of friends.”
“Why do you ask?” he questioned.
“It’s just… I’ve lost a lot of people in the past few months.” Kara should be alive right now, she deserves to be going with then not me. I couldn’t hold it back anymore and started to tear up.
“It’s okay to cry.”
“I don’t like to cry.”
“I know, I don’t like to either.” A few stray tears slipped down my cheeks. I shivered slightly. Jesus stood, walking over to pick up the blanket I had discarded. He wrapped it around me and sat back in his place.
“No problem, Kiddo.” We fell silent.
I started to play a little game in my head, the kind with no winners, Kara called it the remember game. Think about one thing about each person you lost every night, it keeps them alive, in your heart at least. Mom loved to sing, Theo played baseball, Jackeline was in the Army, Kie liked to read, Sean worried too much, Lois swore too much, Nicki loved books, Kara… Here's the part of the game where no one wins, the part when you remember someone you just lost.
“What was that… that thing?” I asked. “The thing that was chasing me?”
“They're called Whispers. They’re people that wear the skin of walkers… the dead.”
“Are there more of them?” Jesus shook his head. “Good.”
“Ellie?” I turned to face him, “Were you with anyone before.” I nodded.
“My sister… the dead came out of the trees, she told me to stand back. They weren’t dead.” Jesus put a hand on my shoulder.
“I’m sorry.” He looked at me with sympathy.Â
“What’s going to happen to me?”
“Well, we’re gonna take you to Hilltop and you’ll be safe.”
“Cross my heart.” I smiled sadly. We sat quietly, staring at the tree line, listening to the crickets and Aaron’s soft snores. I looked over at Jesus and noticed the cut on his arm.
“Yeah, Kiddo, just a little cut.” I nodded in understanding.Â
“Is your name really Jesus?”
“Not really, it’s just a nickname.”
“What’s your real name?”
“I think Jesus sounds better.” He broke out in laughter running his hand over his face.
“I couldn’t agree more.” He paused and turned away from the tree line. “Ellie, are you sure you don’t want to try and get some sleep?” I only shook my head. “Are you worried?”
“I’m sad and a little scared.”
“Why are you scared?” I only shrugged, staring at the ground. Jesus sighed. “I’ll tell you what. If you just… rest your eyes for a little while, I’ll tell you a story about Hilltop. What’d you say?”
“Okay.” I laid my head down, using a part of the blanket as a pillow.Â
“Alright… let me think… I got one.” I closed my eyes and listened intently. “One day a long time ago there were evil people that came to Hilltop and hurt a lot of people. But then one day, I was looking for supplies for Hilltop. I found Alexandria. It was different there but the people are good, Aaron lived in Alexandria. Well anyway… I brought some of their people to Hilltop and… well, the story gets complicated from there but eventually, we freed Alexandria and Hilltop the evil people went away.” I peaked one eye open to see him staring down at me. “Tomorrow I’ll tell you about the Kingdom. For now, try and sleep.” I shut my eyes and after a while slipped away.Â
“Ellie, sweetheart, it’s time to go.” Someone shook my arm, I opened my eyes to see Aaron looking down at me. “Good morning.”
“Morning…” I ground and Aaron chuckled.
“It’s only a little further to Hilltop, we should get there before dusk.” I nodded and soon we were on horses. I still felt tired, not to mention I felt weird.
“How are you doing, Kiddo?” Jesus asked cheerfully.
“I feel funny…” I said quietly. Jesus and Aaron shot each other worried looks.
“She looks a little pale…” Jesus remarked. I got worried and looked at them questioningly.
“We have a Doctor at Hilltop, don’t worry,” Aaron tried to reassure me.Â
“I don’t like doctors.” Jesus stifled a chuckle.
“Have you been to a doctor?”
“No… but I heard they’re mean.”
“Doc Carson’s not mean at all, I promise.” I hummed in response. Soon we came to a small pond and got off the horses to give them a rest. Then we’re both talking and looking for something in the saddle. I turned to the trees and started walking over.
“Ellie, where are you going?” I turned back to them.
“I have to go to the bathroom.” They nodded.
“Just be careful and come right back, okay?” I nodded and ran over.Â
“Wait, Ellie,” Aaron said, I turned and he tossed me a roll of toilet paper, a look of shock spread across my face. I stayed still staring at it. They both laughed a little, “sweetheart, go quick, we’ve gotta get going.”
“Oh, yeah, sorry.” I was done quickly and came running back. Jesus helped me up on the horse and then got on himself. I handed Jesus the toilet paper and he put it in the side saddle.
“Alright let's get going.” We started off again, as the sun got lower in the sky.
“Are we almost there?” I asked.
“Almost,” Jesus said. The sun was down when we rode up to a big wooden wall. I looked at it in amazement. The gates opened and we rode inside. There was a large building and fenced-in animals.Â
“Wow…” I mumbled. Jesus helped me down off the horse and put both of them in stables and started towards the large building.
“So we’re gonna take you to meet someone okay?” Aaron said. I nodded and walked beside them. Almost everyone seemed to be asleep and the world was quiet. We walked to a room with a desk and a few chairs. A woman was sitting behind the desk, eyes cast down. Aaron left for their room and we stood in the doorway.Â
“Come in,” she said nicely standing up and walking in front of the desk. She gave Jesus a side hug.Â
“Ellie, this is Maggie. Maggie, this is Ellie.” She kneeled down at my level and smiled.
“It’s nice to meet you, Ellie,” she said.
“Nice to meet you too.” I looked down at the floor nervously.
“You know what, maybe we should talk more in the morning, it’s getting late.” Jesus nodded in agreement.Â
“Ellie, can you wait outside for a moment?” I nodded and walked right outside the door pressing my ear against it.
“Aaron and I will look after her tonight and take her to see Carson in the morning.”
“What about a more permanent situation? She’s a kid, Jesus, she needs someone to look after her.”
“I don’t know, Maggie, I don’t know if Aaron and I can do that.”
“Just think about it and talk to him.” Footsteps came closer to the door and I backed away.Â
“Come on, Kiddo.” He took my hand and led me down the hall.
“Thank you.” He stopped and turned to me, kneeling down.
“No problem, Kiddo.” I wrapped my arms around him, hugging him. He stayed still in surprise for a moment but did hug back. “How about we both get some sleep?” I nodded and pulled away, staring down a hallway again.
Jesus walked me into Aaron’s and his room. Aaron was already half asleep and popped up when we closed the door.
“How… how did it go?” He asked and Jesus smiled.Â
“Really good. Little miss is staying with us tonight and we’ll talk to Maggie more in the morning.” He pulled a sleeping bag out of a large trunk, laying it out.Â
“That’s amazing…. how are you feeling?” I simply shrugged. “We’ll go see doctor Carson tomorrow, okay?” I nodded and walked over, plopping down on the sleeping bag. It wasn’t long before we were all laying down and the room fell dark. Aaron and Jesus talked in quiet tones.
“Maggie asked me if we’d be willing to make this a more permanent situation,” Jesus said.
“I don’t know… she's an amazing, kind, sweet little girl and she needs someone to look after her.”
“What do you think about us doing that?”
“I… it’s a big step.”
“I was a big step,  just sleep on it.”
“Alright.” I closed my eyes and drifted off.Â
My eyes blinked open as sunlight poured in through the window. Glancing over I saw Aaron tying up his shoe and humming. He finished, looking up and smiling.
“Goodmorning,” I mumbled, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes.Â
“Are you ready to go see doctor Carson?” I nodded shakily and got up taking his hand as we walked down the hallway.
“Where’s Jesus?” I asked.
“He had to help Maggie with something.” He responded.
“Okay.” We stopped at a door and Aaron knocked.
“Aaron, hi, this must be Ellie.” He kneeled down and I backed up a little behind Aaron.
“Ellie, this is Doctor Carson.” I waved a little at him and he smiled.
“Alright, come on in.” He stood ushering us both in. There were a bunch of medical supplies and a couple beds. Aaron motioned for me to sit on one. The Doctor walked over with a thermometer and I backed up a little. He sat down next to me smiling.
“It’s okay, I promise this isn’t going to hurt at all.” I nodded and he put the thermometer in my mouth. It beeped and he took it out a worried expression dressing his face.
“Nothing, it’s just a little low. It could mean a cold or something like that but nothing serious.” I calmed down more and he finished the exam.
“So does everything look okay?” Aaron asked.
“As far as I can tell she has a minor case of malnutrition, which is very fixable. Just make sure she eats healthy and regularly.” He shoots me a reassuring smile. “Bring her by next week so I can monitor her weight.” Aaron nodded and shook his hand.Â
“Thanks, Doc.” I got up and Aaron and I walked out the door. A little down the hallway we stopped and he kneeled down to my height.
“You did a really great job.” I smiled.
“It wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be.” Aaron laughed standing again.
“So what do you say we go find Jesus?” I nodded excitedly and we started off walking again.Â
Jesus and Maggie, we’re outside talking when we walked up.Â
“How’d it go?” Maggie asked.
“Great, she’s a tough cookie,” Aaron said.
“That’s great!” Jesus said.
“So, I wanted to talk to you a little, okay, just a few questions,” Maggie said. My face fell a little.
“Okay.” She smiled and took my hand leading me away. I looked back at Aaron and Jesus, who had turned to talk to each other. She took me up to her office, her sitting behind her desk and me across from her.Â
“So, how are you liking it here?” She asked.
“I like it here a lot,” I said timidly. “It’s really cool here.”
“That's good… have you ever been in a place like this?”
“I…” I paused and thought for a moment before answering. “There was another place, but I don’t remember it that well.”
“Was it a long time ago?” I nodded and she seemed to accept that answer. “How many walkers have you killed.”
“I didn’t keep track ma’am, but it was a lot.”
“Have you ever killed a person?” Fear flashed in my eyes and I looked down. “What happened?”
“There were some bad people and I didn’t mean to kill her but…” my eyes watered a little. “I was in a group and they were all gone except for my sister…”
“Were you trying to save her?” I nodded and she gave me a reassuring smile. “It’s okay. We’ve all done some pretty lousy stuff to protect the people we love.”
“Well, do you have any questions for me?” She asked.
“Yes.” I smiled a little and whipped away the remnants of tears. “Do you want to stay with Jesus and Aaron?”
“Yeah,” I said excitedly.
“Okay, if there’s anything you need to talk about my doors always open.” She bid me goodbye and I went off outside.
“Hi.” I turned and saw an older girl in front of me. “I’m Sofia, are you Ellie?”
“Yeah.” She smiled at me and continued.
“Would you like me to show you around? Maggie’s my mom so I know my way around.” I nodded and we walked. She pointed out the stables, gardens, and other things. It was fun but weird. I looked around nervously. “Are you okay?”
“It’s okay, it takes a while to get used to this.” I smiled at her. “What do you want to do?”
“I want to go see Jesus and Aaron… but it was really nice walking with you.”
“That’s okay, I’ll help you find them.” And with that, we wandered around looking out for the two men. We came across Jesus talking to a man wearing an apron and a bandana around his head.Â
“You must be Ellie, it’s a pleasure to meet you, little lady.” He extended his hand to me and we shook.
“It’s nice to meet you too.” He smiled and turned back to Jesus.Â
“Would you mind letting Maggie know, Paul? I’ve got a lot to get done around here.” I turned my head to the side a little in confusion.Â
“Will do, I’ll see you later.” The man nodded and went back to his work.
“Jesus?” He turned to me. “Why does he call you Paul?” Sofia chuckled behind me.Â
“It’s just something he does… did Sofia show you around?”
“That’s great, kiddo!” He said with a smile. “Are you feeling okay?”
“I guess, just a little tired.” His face fell a little in worry but tried to hide it.
“How about a little nap?” I nodded in agreement and Sofia waved goodbye. We walked back to the room. As we walked in I went to lay down on the sleeping bag but he stopped me. “You can rest here, Peanut.” I hopped onto their bed, pulling off my shoes. Jesus chuckled a little and sat on the edge.Â
“Can you tell me about the kingdom?”
“A quick story, then get some sleep.” I smiled and got comfortable. “This story starts after I met Rick, the leader in Alexandria. We knew we needed help so I took him to see a friend of mine. The King, Ezekiel, he was the leader of the Kingdom...” As the story of the King and his tiger went on I listened intently, amazed and in disbelief. “I should stop now, let you get some sleep…”
“Wait, what happened next?”
“Maybe next time. Now get some sleep, I’ll talk to Maggie about getting you an actual bed.” I hummed as my eyes started to droop, Jesus only smiled and stood. Aaron came in suddenly, though Jesus shushed him and walked out of the room together. I listened as they talked for a moment.
“Is she okay?” Aaron asked just above a whisper.
“Yeah, just a little tired… Aaron, what would you think about Ellie staying with us… permanently.” Aaron chuckled and I could hear the smile on his face.Â
“I love that idea.” I fell asleep with a smile on my face, I knew I was safe here. This was home.
There was a school at Hilltop, which was good considering I wasn’t that good at math. Aaron and Jesus helped me with my homework when I needed it and I was catching up quickly. Though I had no trouble with reading and I even got some new books. Things were great and the week went by quick, a new man even arrived at Hilltop just the other day. My friends and I were ready for some free time, playing cards and running around outside.Â
“I’m telling you this isn’t how you play,” Peter said as Charlie shuffled the deck. She just smirked, dealing out the cards.Â
“Tough,” Charlie stated.
“El, come on, you agree with me, right?” I put my hands up in defense.Â
“I’m staying out of it.” Charlie chuckled and Peter sighed. I picked up my cards and we continued playing. Fear flashed in Peter’s eyes all of a sudden making me put down my cards. Markie, an older boy, was walking over to us.
“So this is the new girl?” He asked, looking me up and down, “Kinda a shrimp.” Charlie stood up, getting between us.Â
“Fuck off,” She said harshly.Â
“Make me!” They got in each other’s faces.
“Charlie, please don’t.” I put my hand on her arm, pulling her back a little. “It isn’t worth it.” She looked at me and her gaze softened.
“Yeah, Charlie… so Shrimp, what’s your story?” His voice was that of a snake, filled with venom.Â
“Ask nicely and maybe I’ll tell you.” I turned away from him but then I heard it.Â
“They should have left you out there with the whispers you little bitch.” I saw red turning and landing a hard punch to his jaw, he fell backward. What happened next was a blur, yelling, arguing, and me never getting one word in edgewise. Now I stomped down the hall, back to the room, Aaron following me.Â
“Ellie!” I ignored Aaron and angrily sat down on my bed. He came in closing the door behind him. “What were you thinking?!” I huffed rolling my eyes. “Lose the attitude, young lady!”
“Leave me alone!” I yelled pulling the blanket over my head. He sighed.
“I’m going to go talk to Maggie and when Jesus comes back, we’re going to have a conversation. Stay right here.” With that, he walked out the door and I came out from under the blanket.
I did as he said for a while but I was just so mad. Needing air, I snuck down the hall and outside in bare feet. The wet grass slipping in between my toes. I saw the man from earlier, he was climbing up the side of the wall.
“Hey, what are you doing?” He dropped down coming towards me.
“It’s not what it looks like, kid.”
“Still… I’m going to get Maggie.” I turned and felt something against me.
“You’re not goin’ anywhere.” Before I could blink I was in the back of a car, my hands tied behind me. The windows were darkened with dust and time which made it impossible to see where we were going.
Suddenly we stopped and the man dragged me out of the car pushing me to the ground. My knee hit the ground first, ripping my pants and skinning my knee. I looked around to see three other men and a woman running up with anger written on their faces.
“Who the fuck is that?!” The woman yelled.Â
“She’s from this community, we can get something from--” the man was shut up as the woman’s fist hit his face.Â
“Idiot!” She left him on the ground and turned to me grabbing me by the shirt, dragging me into the house nearby. She threw me to the floor and started pacing around.
“I want to go home…” I said quietly. She stomped over to me looming over me.
“You're not going anywhere,” she snapped. A kick came to my stomach, making me cry out in pain. “You’re gonna do what I say and keep your mouth shut.” I curled into a ball holding back the tears trying to escape. She walked outside and I wasted no time, standing, quickly running to the other side of the house.
There was a back door, I turned to open it. I ran as fast as my broken body could, not that I knew where I was going. I ran till I collapsed, finding my way to an old gas station. Inside I found some water and a granola bar, even managing to get my hands untied. Knowing I had to keep going, I walked out the door the second I was all packed up.
The road felt hot on my feet and every part of me ached. Then the tears finally broke through. Â I sat there on the side of the road, trying to get my bearings. Suddenly a newfound strength came over me and I rose to my feet, marching forward. Soon I came to a familiar lake and slumped down to the ground. I took a breath knowing I was safer than before. I was close to home.
“Ellie?!” I whipped around and leaped up running forward, only to fall. Jesus leaped off the horse running towards me, picking me up. I wrapped my arms around his neck and cried into his shoulder. “It’s okay… everything’s okay…” my cry’s relaxed into soft sniffles. Right then I almost thought I could hear him crying too.
“Jesus?!” I looked up and saw Aaron riding over, getting off his horse as quickly as he could. “Are you okay?” He asked, coming over and moving the hair out of my face. I only shook my head no.Â
“I want to go home,” I said as my voice cracked.
“We’re going right now,” Jesus said and with that put me on the horse. Once we got to Hilltop Jesus carried me to the infirmary, neither of them taking their eyes off me.
“She has a cracked rib and the bottoms of her feet are burned…” Carson trailed off for a moment. “Other than that she just has bruises and scrapes. I’m keeping her here tonight and she has to stay off her feet for a few weeks.” Aaron and Jesus nodded. “I’ll give you guys some space.” Carson walked out.
“How’re you doing, Kiddo?” Jesus asked me, sitting on the edge of the bed.
“I’m tired,” I mumbled quietly.Â
“Get some sleep, we’ll be right here when you wake up.” I let my eyes drift but before I fell asleep I heard the door open.Â
“How’s she doing?” I heard a male voice whisper.
“She’s resting now, Carson said she’ll be okay,” Aaron said. The door closed softly.Â
“We found them a little outside Alexandria, I’m on my way to talk to Maggie about what we’re going to do with them.”Â
“He’s not setting foot back in Hilltop,” Jesus interjected.
“Wasn’t planning on letting them…. Anyone willing to do what they did, doesn’t belong here.” Jesus sighed.
“You and Maggie need to talk,” Aaron said. The man got the point and I heard the door open and close softly again. They stayed quiet after that till the door opened yet again.
“I brought you guys something to eat, figured you wouldn’t want to leave the little lady.”
“Thank you, Earl,” Jesus said.
“Anything you guys need, let me know.” with that the door opened and closed one more time before I drifted off to sleep.
“Ellie, honey.” I opened my eyes to see Aaron sitting on the edge of the bed and Jesus in a chair.
“Hi,” they both chuckled a little at my tone. “What’s going on?”
“We just wanted to see if you were hungry, you’ve been asleep for a while,” Jesus said. I nodded and Aaron handed me some soup from the table beside me. Finishing it quickly, putting it back down on the table.
“Who was that man that came in earlier?” I asked. They glanced at each other and then back to me.
“Do you mean Earl, Honey?” I shook my head no.
“That was Rick,” Jesus said quietly.
“Rick from Alexandria?!” I asked excitedly.Â
“I don’t think so, Peanut.” My face fell and so did Aaron and Jesus’s.
“You know what, I’ll go check if he left yet,” Aaron said and my face lit up again. He kissed the top of my head and stood jogging out the door. Jesus stood too moving to where Aaron sat.
“Before you sounded kinda mad at Rick. Did he do something?” He shook his head.
“Not really, Peanut. I guess what happened just made me worried and I took it out on him.”
“I’m okay,” I said matter-of-factly, making him chuckle.
“I know, your one tough kid.” I smiled and so did he. Just then the door opened and Aaron came in followed by a man I didn’t recognize.
“Hi Ellie,” The man said, I recognized his voice, and my face lit up, this was Rick. Hook hand and all.
“Your Rick?” I asked, he nodded with a smile and I continued. “Was there really a tiger?” The three men stayed silent for a moment before bursting out in laughter.
“Yes, there was a tiger.”
“Good, I wanted to make sure.”Â
“Well I’m happy to help, it was very nice to meet you, Ellie.” He shook my hand and turned to leave.
“It was nice to meet you too.” I waved goodbye. Then it was just Jesus, Aaron, and I. “He seems cool.”
“The coolest,” Aaron laughed.
“Except for Jesus, he’s cooler,” I mumbled, Jesus smiled messing with my hair. There was a knock at the door and Maggie stepped in.
“Hey you three,” she closed the door behind her and walked closer to us. “How are you feeling?”
“I’m okay…” I said quietly, she shot me a worried look.
“Can I steal one of you for a second?” she asked carefully.
“I’ll be right back, okay?” Jesus said and I nodded shakily. Jesus stood and Aaron sat in his place.Â
“Ellie, honey, can I ask you about something?” I nodded and he continued. “Is there anything you want to talk about right now? It doesn’t have to be about what happened.” I stayed quiet for a long moment before speaking.
“I’m sorry…” I mumbled.
“Ellie, none of this is your fault,” he said firmly.
“I didn’t stay inside, I went for a walk and then he took me… it was my fault…” he sat closer to me.
“This was not your fault.” As hard as I tried I couldn’t stop the tears. He pulled me into a hug as I cried. “It’s okay, it’s all over now.” I calmed down after a while and took a deep breath.Â
“Do you guys still want me?” He pulled away, looking me in the eyes.
“Yes, of course, we do, always.” He whipped away the stray tears. “We love you.” I wrapped my arms around him again. Just then the door opened and Jesus stepped in, he didn’t question it, he just hugged both of us.Â
The next day I got to go back to my own room and to my own bed. Which made the pain and boredom more bearable. Aaron and Jesus both tried to spend as much time as they could with me. Right now Jesus was reading to a very bored me.
“The end.” He closed the book turning to me. “Okay, what should we read next?”
“Can we talk instead?”
“Yeah, what’s on your mind, kiddo?”
“Where do babies come from?” Jesus froze for a moment and his breath hitched. I burst into laughter. “I’m just kidding.” He sighed in relief giving me a side hug.
“Good, I wasn’t ready for that talk.” I laughed harder making Jesus smile.Â
“Can I ask something serious?”
“Peter told me he overheard someone say something bad about you…” his face fell and he nodded understanding.
“He said it was bad… but I don’t know what it means.”
“That’s okay, just tell me.”
“I think… I think he said fag…” he sighed a look of sadness across his face.
“You’re right, that’s a very bad word… promise me you won’t use it, okay?”
“It’s okay, I’ll take care of it.” I nodded and hugged him.Â
“I’m sorry if I made you sad.”
“I’m okay, Peanut. Hey, I’ve gotta go talk with Maggie, will you be okay alone for a little while?”
“Yeah.” He got up and kissed me on the top of the head before leaving. I took out another book and started reading. It seemed like a long time had passed when there was a knock at the door. “Come in.”
Charlie and Peter walked in holding a deck of cards. I sat up more giving room for Peter to sit next to me and Charlie at my feet.Â
“Did you ask him?” Charlie kicked him into the foot.
“It’s okay, I did. All he said was that it was a bad word and not to use it.”
“Charlie’s mom told her what it meant.” Again a kick came to Peter's leg.
“What did it mean?” I asked.Â
“It’s an insult used against people who are…” she trailed off.
“People who are what?!” I questioned.
“Gay.” I looked at them in silence, my frustration turning into anger. I pulled the blanket back and tried to stand but was pulled back down.
“El, you can’t do anything, let it go.”
“You don’t get to say that! Your parents aren’t the ones being insulted!” I yelled. As I said that Aaron walked through the door, confusion written on his face.
“What’s going on here?” Peter and Charlie shot each other a look and quickly began to explain over each other. “Okay, okay, one at a time.”Â
“Markie’s parents said something bad about you guys and Ellie’s mad,” Peter explained.Â
“Whatever they said I’m sure it’s not that bad.”
“They used the f word… the other f word.” Aaron looked at us grimly and wore a similar expression to Jesus.
“How about you guys get going.” Peter and Charlie got up leaving me and Aaron behind.Â
“I told Jesus but I didn’t know what it meant then.” He walked over, sitting next to me.
“Do you know what it means now?” I nodded and Aaron sighed again.Â
“Why did they say that, you guys are awesome… I just don’t understand…” he smiled sadly.
“I wish I could give you a better explanation but there isn’t one. I’m just happy you know it’s bad.” I nodded hugging him.
“I’m sorry for getting upset…”
“It’s okay, I understand,” he said, “Ellie, do you really think of us as your parents?”Â
“Yeah… is that okay?”
“It’s more than okay,” he said sweetly. “Honey, you said you told Jesus, what did he say?”
“He told me to never use the word and that he had to go talk to Maggie.”
“Okay… do you want me to read to you a little.” I nodded and he picked up the book I’d discarded on the bedside table. I wasn’t paying much attention to the story, it kinda just faded into the background.Â
“Honey, what’s wrong?” He asked.Â
“Sorry, I guess I’m just angry at them, for what they said… it’s not right.”
“I know, it’s okay to feel that way.”
“I’ll be honest, I am. But then I remember how different things are now. Most people aren’t even fazed by me being gay. Not to mention we get to take care of you.” I smiled. “They’re just two people.”Â
“I get it.” He gave me a side hug. Just then when I moved, my foot hit the end of the bed making me yelp.
“Do your feet still hurt that bad?” I nodded and he stood. “Try standing for me.” I did as he said standing only to hiss and fall back onto my bed. “Okay, we’re going to go check in with Doc Carson.”
“Yeah, honey.” He picked me up and we made our way down to the infirmary. Carson wasn’t there, but Alex was. He sat down by my feet and started taking off the bandages.
“I wouldn’t worry too much, it’s probably…” he trailed off when he took off the bandages.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“Ummm… I don’t want to scare you both but I think you might have a minor infection. I’ll go find Doc Carson to confirm but we’ll probably just give you some antibiotics and keep you here for a few days.” Aaron nodded and Alex walked out.
“Am I going to be okay?” I asked.
“Absolutely, you’re just gonna have to take some medicine.” I nodded in understanding. We both sat in silence, as I stared at my feet. “Ellie, look at me, you're going to be just fine.”
“I know…” Alex walked back in with Doc Carson.
“Hi, Aaron, Ellie, let’s see what’s going on.” He sat down at my feet and his face fell. “Okay, Ellie has what looks like a minor infection, but it’s going to be fine, will just give her some antibiotics.”
“I have to stay here don’t I?”Â
“Sorry, kid,” Alex said. When night fell Jesus and Aaron sat next to me reading a story before I went to sleep. As my eyes started to drift close Jesus stopped reading.
“Goodnight, Peanut.” He whispered, pulling the blanket up more. I pulled it tight around me.Â
“Goodnight, sweetheart,” Aaron said. I fell into a deep sleep after that.
I heard a lot of commotion around me making me raise my head and rub the sleep out of my eyes. Though I could barely make sense of what I was seeing. People were running around and someone else in the other bed.
Jesus ran in just then picking me up and taking me out of the room, blocking my view. He took me to Maggie’s office, which was closest to the infirmary, placing me in a chair. He kneeled down to my height.
“Ellie, stay here till I come and get you, okay?” I nodded, still very confused and he ran out of the room.Â
I was almost asleep when Jesus quietly stepped back into the room, kneeling down again.
“Hey, Peanut,” he said.
“What happened?” I mumbled.
“Well, it’s a long story but all you need to know now is that a new person came to Hilltop.”
“Really?” I said quietly yet excitedly.
“Yeah. The thing is she was pregnant when she got here and had a baby. She’s not feeling so good right now so you have to be very quiet, okay?”
“I promise I’ll be quiet.”
“Alright, let’s get you to bed then.” Jesus picked me up, taking me back to the infirmary. I got a better look at the woman now, half asleep, and a baby in a crib next to her.
Jesus laid me back down, tucking in the blanket around me.Â
“Goodnight, Peanut,” he whispered.
“Wait, can you stay till I fall asleep?” I asked in a hushed tone. He nodded silently sitting next to me. He put his arm across my shoulders and I lent back.
I started to get sleepy and close my eyes. That’s when I felt Jesus shift, laying me down flat, and standing.
“I’m sorry if I caused any trouble,” I heard a woman whisper.
“It’s alright, I was lingering around here anyway, haven’t been getting much sleep lately.”Â
“Is your daughter alright?” She asked.
“She will be. How’s yours?”
“She's sleeping now, I never knew someone could be so cute.” Jesus chuckled quietly.
“They melt your heart, don't they….”
“What’s your daughter's name?”
“I’m still thinking… What's your daughter’s name?”
“Ellie, it’s short for Ellis,” he answered.
“That’s beautiful… what do you think about the name Grace?”Â
“That sounds perfect.” They were silent for a moment before she spoke again.Â
“I’m Mia by the way.”
“I’m Jesus. It was wonderful to meet you, Mia…. it’s a nickname by the way.” She laughed quietly.
“I figured… I’m going to be up for a while, I’ll keep an eye on her. You look like you’ve been up for a week straight.”
“I… thank you...” I heard the door close and I peeked my eyes open. She was staring mindlessly at the crib, a small smile on her face.Â
“Hi.” She turned to face me.
“I’m an insomniac,” she chuckled, sitting up.
“You know what…” she dropped into a whisper and leaned in a little. “I am too…” I sat up, pulling the blanket over my shoulders and crossing my legs. “What happened to your feet?” I frowned and covered them with the blanket.
“A bad man took me and when I got away they got burnt on the road.” Sympathy grew on her face as I spoke. “Now they’re infected and I have to stay here… I really want to be in my own bed…”Â
“Hey,” she said in a happy tone, “how about we play a game?”
“A question game… it’s easy, you think of something and I get to ask twenty questions and then guess what it is.” I nodded and thought for a moment.
“Okay, I got something.”
“Great… so is it alive?”
“Okay. Is it a person?”
“Is it a farm animal?” My eyes widened and I shook my head, making her laugh. “Okay… is it something that would have been found in a zoo?”
“Does it have fur?” I nodded. “And a tail?” I nodded again excitedly. “Is it a big cat?”
“You got it! That was fun.”
“Is that your favorite animal?” I nodded excitedly.
“There’s this place called the kingdom and the king had a tiger.” She looked at me skeptically. “The tiger died a long time ago though.”
“You’ve never seen one?” She asked.
“No… but Jesus and Aaron tell me about them.”Â
“That’s really cool… are Aaron and Jesus your parents?”
“Sorta, they found me outside the wall and now they look after me… I don’t have anyone else.” Her face fell a little.
“Jesus seems really nice,” she said happily. “What’s Aaron like?”
“He’s a little goofier.”
“Does he tell a lot of dad jokes?”
“They're jokes that are so bad that they're funny.” I nodded and giggled a little.
“Yeah, he tells those jokes a lot.” She smiled at me. “They read to me a lot too and Jesus said when I get older he’s gonna teach me how to fight. He’s like a ninja.” She laughed at that last part.
“That’s really great!” Suddenly Grace started to cry and Mia picked her up. “Ellie, would you mind looking away for a moment, I think Grace is hungry.” I nodded and turned around, looking out the window and into the night sky.Â
“Can I ask something?”
“Where's Grace’s dad?” I asked delicately.
“I… he passed away.”
“I’m sorry… I lost my mom before…”
“What happened? If you don’t mind me asking.”
“I don’t remember…” I answered. “Mia?”
“I think I’ll try and get some sleep… thank you for playing that game with me.”Â
“Anytime, Ellie.” I laid my head on the pillow, my mind drifting off as I did.
I shook as tears streamed down my face, trying to stare out the window and tune out the yelling coming from the front seat. I turned just then looking at the city as the distance grew. The city of the dead. Suddenly there was a loud bang and I clamped my eyes closed. “Ellie? Ellie?”
I woke up with a start, looking around scared.
“Ellie, it’s okay, it was just a dream,” Jesus said. I blinked away the tears in my eyes and Jesus came closer moving the hair out of my face. “What was it about, Peanut?”
“Nothing…” I mumbled, Jesus sighed, using the cuff of his sleeve to wipe away the stray tears.Â
“Was it sleeping here alone?” I shook my head no, “You can tell me.”Â
“It was really bad…”
“I have bad dreams too. You know what I do to feel better?”
“Well I talk to someone, Aaron mostly.”
“I don’t remember a lot of it…” Jesus smiled.
“Just tell me what you do.” I nodded and started.
“It was dark, we were in a car, and I was really scared.” He nodded in understanding. “There was yelling and a loud noise, then I woke up.”
“What were you scared of?”
“Something happened.”
“What happened?” I stayed silent, casting my gaze down. “Well, it’s over now, that’s what matters. Look what I brought.” He held up a book.Â
“Yeah.” He sat next to me and started to read. I listened intently, laughing at the funny voices he made. Later when he was far into the story Doc Carson came walking in. Â
“Hey, Jesus,” He said. “It’s time for your medicine, Ellie.” I wined and Jesus set down the book on the bedside table. He handed me the pill and a glass of water. I took it, swallowing hard.Â
“I hate the pill.” Carson chuckled.
“Most people do.” He walked away and I turned to Jesus.
“Jesus, where’s Mia?”
“She’s in her own room now, she only had to stay for the night.” I nodded in understanding.Â
“Can I ask something?” He hummed and I continued. “What happened to the people that took me before?” A grim look appeared on Jesus’s face.
“You don’t have to worry about them.” I was going to pry but the look on his face gave me pause. I didn’t have to worry about them, that’s all that matters. He picked up the book, reading again, but now having his mind somewhere else.Â
“Jesus!” Alex said, running in, “Maggie needs your help!” Jesus popped up, saying goodbye to me before both of them ran out. I picked up the book and kept reading, though not that far before Sofia came walking in.Â
“Hey.” She came over sitting next to me, it was then I took notes of what she had in her hand. A notepad and a box of crayons.Â
“I thought you might like these,” She said, handing them to me. I smiled,  flipping it open.
“Thank you!” She gave me a side hag, messing with my hair a little.
“I’ve got to go, I’ll check in on you later. Have fun.” After she left I stared at the blank paper for a while before I opened the crayons. I was scribbling away when Jesus came back, sitting next to me.Â
“Just drawing,” I said, putting my crayon down and holding it up for him. “It's me, you, and Aaron.” He took it in his hands smiling.Â
“This is beautiful, Peanut.” He stared at it for a while before turning to me. “Can I hold on to it?” I nodded excitedly.
“Where’s Aaron?” I asked randomly at the realization that I’d not seen him all day, which was out of the ordinary.Â
“He had to go to Alexandria, he’ll be back soon.” I tried to push down my nerves but my eyes gave me away.  “He’ll be okay, I promise.”
“You can’t promise that...” I said before I could stop myself.
“Your right… but I know he’ll do everything he can to get back in one peace.” My head sunk and I played with the red crayon in my hand. “Are you okay, Kiddo?”
“I was scared of the dead… the city was full of them… They were arguing in the front seat… they didn’t see…” Hot tears began to fall on my hands, dripping on the crayon.Â
“The dream…” he mumbled in realization.
“It wasn’t just a dream…” I let out a shaky breath. “She died…”
“My Mom.” The tears stopped all of a sudden, like saying the word had hit an off switch deep inside me. “Kara was okay.” He silently wrapped his arms around me, hugging me. We stayed like that for a long time before pulling away, putting his hands on my shoulders, and looking me right in the eyes.
“He is coming back, okay? You don’t have to worry.” Tears perked in his eyes as he spoke. He pulled me into another hug. “Do… do you want to talk about anything else?”
“Okay… when you're ready me and Aaron are here, alright?”
“Yeah, I know.” He pulled away again, sitting next to me, his arm around my shoulders. “I feel like crap…” I moved my wrapped feet under the blanket defeatedly. “I hate this…”
“I get it, I wish I could make it go away. Is there anything I can do?”
“Robin Hood.” He smiled and picked up the book, picking up where we left off. Most days were like this, reading, drawing, playing cards, and the days when I didn’t want to do anything. A few weeks passed and I was out of the woods and in my own bed.
It started as a normal day, a busy Hilltop outside as my eyes and head stayed in a book. Charlie and Peter were in school so it was the only thing for me to do. I set down the book, laying back and closing my eyes. Birds, voices of people, and something else… the gate opening. That wasn’t unusual but the time of day was wrong. My eyes opened and I grabbed my shoes, I only have a few more days till I’m technically allowed to be on my feet. Peeking out the door, like a spy in enemy territory. Walking outside without being seen was a little hard but doable.Â
It was a bit pointless to tell you the truth, I didn’t know what to make of what I was seeing. A group of people, some I recognized and some I didn’t. In Front of them, Rick and a blond short-haired woman. Maggie and Dante were facing them and talking, though the conversation was short. Carl ran out to Rick and walked away together, leaving the woman with Maggie and Dante.Â
“What are you doing up?” I turned, facing Jesus.
“It’s okay, Peanut, that bed has to get pretty boring…” he looked behind me kind of zoning out, I followed his gaze, Maggie was waving him over. “Don’t stay on your feet too long, okay?” I smiled and nodded. As he walked past me he messed with my hair, making me laugh. Walking back inside, I saw the woman and a bunch of other people walking into Maggie’s office. Though it was unfounded, I had a bad feeling.Â
I sat yet again, book in hand, bored out of my mind. I saw the doorknob turn and expected Jesus or Aaron to be coming to check on me… but they both stepped in. Now that worry grew.
“Is everything okay?” I asked right out of the gate.Â
“Yeah… Rick found a new community, nothing to worry about,” Aaron said.
“Okay…” I breathed a sigh of relief. “What else happened?”
“Rick is going to check them out… is there something you were worried about, Kiddo?”
“No… yes… just a bad feeling…” Jesus came over sitting next to me, as did Aaron at my feet. “It’s stupid…”
“It’s not stupid, it’s just the part of your brain that likes to be careful.” I nodded and Aaron continued. “You just have to know when to listen to it.”
“I’m okay.” They both smile and Jesus picks up the book I’d left discarded at my side, and scooted closer, continuing where I left off. The feeling didn’t go away but now I ignored it.Â
I was on my feet a few days later, running around and barely agreeing to go inside when it was time to sleep. Most of my time was spent with Peter and Charlie or helping Earl. The bad feeling was still there but pushed down. I’d even started school, which was weird, to say the least. Right now I was sitting with Sofia as she helped me with my homework. I didn’t see Jesus right away as he walked up behind us, only realizing when I’m cut off mid-sentence.
“Sorry to interrupt, can I talk to you for a minute, Ellie?” I nodded standing and waving bye to Sofia. We walked a little away from her and I reflected, he called me Ellie, he never just calls me Ellie. “You know that Rick went to that new community…” I nodded and he continued, “We think he might need back up…” My breath hitched. “Aaron, Siddiq, Dante, Carl, and I are going…” As hard as I tried I couldn’t push down the feeling I had. I wanted to tell him not to go, but that wouldn’t be right.
“Promise…” I spoke quietly, “Promise you’ll both come back.” He stared at me for a moment, I can only assume trying to figure out what to say.Â
“Ellie…” He pulled me into a hug.
“Cross my heart.” They left soon after that, Aaron promised too, but that didn’t stop me from worrying, how could it. After a while, not even that long we went after them… all of us… everyone. Maggie wanted to leave me behind but that wasn’t happening, not now, not after everything that’s happened. As we arrived, the sight of the dead made my stomach turn, that and not seeing Aaron and Jesus. Maggie sent riders to lead them away. Once most of them were gone Rick and others jumped out of one of the buildings, killing the stragglers, and turning to all of us.Â
“Welcome to the commonwealth,” Rick said. “It’s… uh. Looked better.” He walked closer to her where they had a conversation I couldn’t make out. The only thing I heard was what Maggie said next.
“It looks like you didn’t need us. You had more than enough help on the way.” I stopped staring at them and looked forward. Soldiers in white suits marched forward, in front of them the same woman from Hilltop, a boy I didn’t recognize, and… I let out a breath. Aaron and Jesus sat on the steed next to them, seemingly unharmed. I almost smiled, then I felt it, a sick feeling settled in.
“You think I can’t see what is happening here?!” The woman yelled. “You think your governor is blind to the plots you’ve been hatching behind my back?!”Â
“What?!” Rick yelled in confusion. “What are you talking about?!”
“You lied to me, Rick Grimes. You pretended to help me-- To get me out of harm’s way! You were really getting me out of here so you could bring in your army into the commonwealth. You were conspiring with Mercer the whole time!” I didn’t need to know anything to know that was bullshit.Â
“That is not remotely true!” he retorted. “I have only ever been working to keep the peace here-- to hold the commonwealth together.” I looked over at Aaron and Jesus, a bit relieved to see them coming over to our side slowly.
“Lies!” She yells, making my eyes snap back to her. “I’m not falling for your bullshit anymore!”
“Please…” his tone scared me like he was defusing a bomb with his words. “Calm down. We can talk this over.”
“You stand with your army and claim you want to talk?! The army or Greenville stands with me-- and we won’t stand for your deception. For the people of the commonwealth-- for our future-- Attack!!” Just like that, my heart stopped. I wasn’t looking anywhere now, just blankly forward.Â
“NO!” my own brain let me go just enough to listen. “Stop! Please. We don’t have to do this. We have time… we can talk. We can work this out. Please.” No one moved… hell, no one breathed. The woman turned to her army angrily.
“What are you doing?!”Â
“They're being reasonable, Pamela. Something I know you’re capable of. I’ve seen it. Try it again… unless you want to fight this fight on your own.” She kept her mouth shut. “That’s what I thought. We don’t want to fight. I can see that. Killing each other will only succeed in costing some of us our lives. I think we’ve all been through so much-- too much. Let’s not do that again. I’ve fallen in love with the commonwealth. I’ve seen what you’ve accomplished here-- and it is… wondrous. I would fight to maintain it... I would kill to protect it. I would… I have. So I understand why we’re here, right now… But I look around, and I see fear and anger… and hatred. That’s not what this place is about. That’s not who we are.” He walked up the steps of a building, gaining higher ground, and as he did he begin taking off his jacket and metal hand.Â
“This is who we are!” He held what was his right hand in the air as he spoke. “This world has scarred us, mentally and physically.” My gaze wandered to my feet for a moment as did my mind to those I’d lost. “We carry those scars with us-- each and every day. They serve as a reminder of what we’ve lived through-- what we’ve done to survive-- what others have done to us to survive… Sacrifices made… all to get us here. To this point. To have so many of us here. To be safe. To be close to the way things were before. I used to think we had to put our humanity on hold… embrace a… Savageness in order to survive… because our world, the one we knew, was never coming back. I was wrong. We are on the road back, I can see our future ahead of us, and it is bright. We no longer live surrounded by the dead. We’re not among them-- not living on borrowed time… We do not live minute to minute, in minutes stolen from the dead. We can be happy… we can be content… we can have peace. We can live again. We are not the walking dead!” he looked down solemnly as if reflating.
“At least… we don’t have to be. Not anymore. I think of this world as a gift… even after all the pain it’s caused me. It’s a chance to rebuild things… better than they were before. We haven't worked as hard as we have just to bring back old, flawed, unfair systems. We deserve a better world. A world we will appreciate… because of what we’ve just lived through. We should have an elevated sense of respect for each other… because we know what we’ve all lived through. But that’s not the case, is it? We don’t seem to have respect for each other.” He looked to the governor now. “And you’re clinging to old ways… where the few live in a position over the many.” She looked on silently. “Why?”
“Governor Milton… I see now I was wrong to support you. I was trying to keep the peace, hoping you would see the error or your ways eventually… that change could come from within. Now I see you for what you truly are… someone who craves power above all else.” He points at her and she looks back in shame. “You would lead your people… into killing each other… Just to maintain that power? I ask the people of the commonwealth… is that the kind of leader you want? That you deserve?”
“NO!” They yelled in unison as their governor hung her head in shame.Â
“Then let your voice be heard! Take charge of your lives… bring about a commonwealth that works for you... rather than against you. If you don’t want Pamela Milton to lead you-- then don’t let her lead you!” He stopped and I looked back to her just in time to see her hands behind her back.Â
“I’m sorry, ma’am. I think this is for the best-- for your own safety,” The man, in armor, cuffing her said.
“Just fucking get it over with,” she spat.Â
“Show’s over here-- let’s all go home,” the soldier said as he led her away.
“What?!” the boy next to her yelled. “You think you can just arrest my mom?! We fucking built this place! You think you can keep it running without us?! You need us! You’re fucking lost without us!”
“Sebastian!” The boy froze where he stood, silent. “Unless you want to end up in a cell right next to me-- Shut the fuck up!” He looked down as his mother was led away. Now it was time to get to work. I helped as much as I could with cleaning the debris and dead walkers. Aaron and Jesus were loading one of them into the cart, as I stood by them shoveling what was left.
“Gross…” I mumbled under my breath.
“You can say that again…” Aaron said. “Care to give us a hand?” I followed his gaze to the boy from before, Sebastian. He kept walking past, keeping his eyes forward.
“What an asshole…” I mumbled. They both turned to me and I became painfully aware of who was in front of me.Â
“I couldn’t agree more…” Jesus started. “But language…” I smiled sheepishly.Â
“Sorry…” We all worked together and were done by dusk since everyone pitched in. The people from Hilltop settled into extra rooms for the night.Â
“Jesus?” I sat up in my bed.
“Was the world this bad before?” Both of them turned to me. “Were things like they are here?”
“It was more complicated than that kiddo,” Jesus said sitting next to me. “But… this place is a lot like how things were.”
“I like how things are now… not the dead but you know… Hilltop…” Jesus nodded and Aaron sat down as well. “What’s going to happen now?”
“We’re all going to work together… nothing bad’s gonna happen,” Aaron said.
“And things are going to get better for the people that live here,” Jesus added smiling.
“Okay…” Jesus and Aaron shot each other worried looks before looking back at me, their faces falling slightly.Â
“You have a bad feeling don’t you?” Jesus questioned, I began to shake my head but it quickly turned into a nod. “Everything is going to be okay--”
“Maggie had a bad feeling…” I trailed off and grim looks grew on their faces. I looked down and went to the dark place, thinking of the many things that could have gone wrong today. The promise that would have been broken. This wasn’t just a bad feeling, it felt worse than before. You worry less when there’s nothing for you to lose. Now, right now, I have more than I ever have. What do you do when you're worried about losing the people you love? Your home? The life you’ve waited so long to be able to have? You take a breath and… “It’s just a bad feeling… if there is something to worry about we’ll handle it together… Like we did today…” Tears pricked in their eyes and they hugged me tightly.Â
“You’re one hell of a kid, you know that?” Jesus said though a chuckle.Â
“I actually have something for you…” Aaron sniffled and pulled a small box out of his pocket, handing it to me. I lifted the cardboard lid and smiled. “I hope you like it.” I pulled the silver necklace out, looking at the tiger charm.Â
“I love it!” He smiled, borrowing it for a moment to put around my neck.
“I thought you would, I know how much you like the stories about the Kingdom and Shiva.” I ran my fingers over it smiling.
“Thank you.” They both gave me another hug, pulling away sooner this time.
“Okay, I think it’s way past your bedtime… besides, I heard they have pancakes here.” My smile only grew. They stood, pulling the blanket back over me. “Goodnight, Peanut.”
“Goodnight.” They turned off the light and I rolled over, my eyes drifting closed as I ran my fingers over the tiger one more time.Â
Light leaked through the window, lulling me awake. I pulled away from the blanket, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, expecting to find Aaron and Jesus awake… witch, they weren’t. They were still fast asleep. My eyebrows raised in surprise and I laughed. Walking over sitting on the edge of the bed.Â
“Jesus?” I shook him a little and his eyes opened, a smile following. “Why aren’t you awake? You’re always awake before me.” He chuckled, sitting up.
“Good morning to you too… I was tired from yesterday… and it’s still early.” Looking over at the clock, it read 6:14. “I’ll wake Aaron up, go find your shoes and we’ll go get breakfast.” I hopped off the bed and he turned. “Wake up, handsome…”Â
I hopped around on one foot, trying to pull on my left shoe without untying the laces. Aaron came in and I froze in place, my foot still up in the air.Â
“Do you need help?” He asked with a laugh, I nodded, pulling off the shoe that was half on my foot and handing it to him. He untied it, loosening the laces. “Slow down a little, the pancakes will be there, don’t worry.” He handed me back my shoe, messing with my hair a little.Â
“Okay, thanks, Da-Aaron.” My face fell and I walked over to the bed, looking down as I slipped on the shoe, tying it slowly. He walked over, sitting next to me.Â
“It’s okay… for you to call us that.”Â
“Are you sure?” He nodded with a smile, kissing the top of my head.Â
“Now, let’s go get some pancakes,” He said, standing up, I followed, holding his hand as we walked outside and down the sidewalk, the three of us, together. After the pancakes, we all sat outside, them drinking coffee and hot chocolate for me. Carl walks out just then making Jesus turn.
“Sleep well?” He asked the boy.Â
“Sure did,” he said with a smile. “Man… this place really cleans up nice. Wow.”
“There’s a restaurant up the street that serves the best pancakes. You should give it a shot.”
“You had me at pancakes. Let me see if my dad’s up.” With that, he walked away and Jesus turned back to the table.Â
“Pancakes are amazing,” I said mindlessly, making them both laugh.
“Is that the first time you had them?” I nodded. We sat quietly for a long time as I looked around at the nerdy buildings, admiring them. This place was so different from Hilltop, I wondered what the other communities look like. As I looked behind Jesus I saw a woman walking over to us and my breath hitched. I knew that look. “Are you okay, Peanut?” I didn’t answer, Jesus turned and she came up to us. I didn’t listen, just zoned out, screaming in my own head about how unfair this world is. A good man died, shot in his bed in the dead of night. They knew who did it and the governor was released, her cell now filled by her son.
We were homebound soon enough, Rick Grimes's body in a pine box on the back of a cart. No one smiled or spoke for that matter. The world changed those few days, a change that would set the course of our history for decades. Even four years later there was still so much change. Hilltop expanded, more people were found and lost. Mia being a person we lost, her daughter losing one parent and gaining two. I closed my leather-bound notebook, looking out at the sunset.Â
“Ellie!” I turned, hopping down from the branch I was perched on, making Aaron flinch a little, and Gracie, who was in his arms, chuckle. “If you have to climb up that high, can you please be more careful coming down?”
“Sorry, Dad…” I ground a little. “But you don’t have to worry.”
“I’m your dad, it’s my job to worry.”
“And it’s our job to do stuff that drives you crazy,” I said, giving Gracie a high five. Aaron cocked his eyebrow at me. “Hey, there are two of you and two of us, it’s a fair fight.” Aaron stifled a laugh and we turned, walking away from the tree. “Don’t worry I’ll help you guys when she’s a teenager.”
“Traitor!” the little blond-haired cutie blurted out, making us laugh and only making Gracie pout with her arms crossed.Â
“Hey, we are all on the same team.” He gave me a side hug, kissing Gracie on the top of the head. “Now let’s go see what’s for dinner!” Gracie jumped down, running ahead excitedly. But I stayed where I was, perfectly content with taking my time. “Are you doing okay, Sweetheart?”
“I… yeah… It’s just everything is changing so quickly…” I closed my eyes for a moment, feeling the breeze. “I love you guys.” Aaron and I stopped walking as he pulled me into a hug.
“We love you too.” Tears perked in my eyes and I pulled away, whipping my eyes.
“No crying,” I said, as I saw his eyes watering, he laughed.
“Okay… we should get going, Gracie’s pretty far ahead.” I nodded and we walked on. Years ago, if someone had told me where I’d be now, I’d think it was impossible. I still think it’s all a dream sometimes. Loving parents, a little sister, friends, a home, these aren’t things you’d think you’d get to have in this world… but as Rick Grimes said, we’ve stopped living on borrowed time.Â
"He nods, as if to acknowledge that endings are almost always a little sad, even when there is something to look forward to on the other side."
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