contentiousTheatrics

Please, tell me all about Homestuck rare pairs, I'm on my journey to un-rare all the pairs, seeing as it is my life mission to un-rare the pairs, especially pale Eridan/Tavros, but the general goal is all the rare pairs.

All of them. (Yumeshippers are allowed, yumeshippers are pretty cool.)

This is basically a "Requests Are Open" post, so please, take a step onto my stage.

Each Request Filled will look something like a Drawing of the ship and then maybe a short paragraph of commentary from my end.

P.S. The closest thing you're getting to Pornography is by Caliborns definition, which is to say, smooching and cuddling, seeing as I have roughly the same skill when it comes to the digital arts.

It took me a while to figure out how to both make Fef lean on his shoulder and not cause Gamzee harm from her horns. </3

Fefzee is really cute! I imagine Feferi would like to "Cull" him, causing her to be a very doting Matesprit.

Gamzee seems to have this thing with not going near the ocean, despite living right by it, seeing as the first thing he tells Equius when commanded to boss him around is, "TC: uH, hEy YoU, dOn'T gO nEaR tHe MoThErFuCkIn OcEaN, cAuSe I aLl ToLd YoU nOt To A bUnCh Of TiMeS! TC: ShIt Is StRaIgHt Up DaNgErOuS, aNd I'm GeTtInG mY hArSh On AbOuT iT."

Even when told to be authoritative, which would probably carry violent connotation given that it's Alternia, Gamzee's "reprimand" towards Equius is in Equius' best interest, thus the "dangerous" part of his opening line.

Feferi would love Gamzees non-violence towards lower castes, probably encouraging dual culling between the both of them! And given that Feferi is super strong and capable, Gamzee would potentially ease up when it comes to ocean related things too, perhaps?

I don't understand your question? If you're referring to my pfp, that's one of my OC's for a fanventure I'm working on? I made a chart.

I suppose my OC would have Gamzee hair if anything, I guess the fact that it's white makes it look more like Nagito though.

If I didn't answer your question, feel free to ask for elaboration!

It's so funny claiming that Rufioh can't even do one of the most notable things that the Nitram line can do. I mean, we've seen both The Summoner and Tavros control Pyralspite, we've seen Tavros with a MASSIVE hoard of Imps, ogres, and what not, Mindfang referred to The Summoner as someone "who was said to command an army of 8easts.", but nobody, not even Rufioh himself, ever mentions his animal communion! I mean, I guess he did do ONE thing.

"MEENAH: (GLUUUUU8 GLU8GLU8GUL8GLU8 GLUUUUUUUUU8) ARANEA: threw down a daggerlance to challenge the guild's high seme for dominance MEENAH:(NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO) ARANEA: ultimately served like a shonen on Shitsuji Island."

...

But who cares about that??? Does that even mean anything at all???

When I try to think of pairing him up pitchways, it never goes anywhere because I hardly know where to start! Gamrezi happened in canon, but it was toxic beyond belief, and ended in a doomed timeline, yikes. I personally can't see GamDave (once again, in a healthy manner) because what could they possibly admire in one another and what would they argue about that wasn't just Dave shattering Gamzees with drawling mind with insensitive material?

Putting Gamzee in a pitch relationship seems to inherently imbalance it? When Terezi is weeping over how she and Gamzee got together, she mentions "TEREZI: 4ND H3 W4S SO MUCH N4ST13R TH4N H3 3V3R US3D TO B3! W4Y MOR3 TH4N 4NY OF OUR FR13NDS 3V3R W3R3 TEREZI: ON3 T1M3 H3 ST4RT3D MOCK1NG MY BL1NDN3SS TEREZI: WH1CH N3V3R BOTH3R3D M3 WH3N 4NYON3 3LS3 D1D 1T TEREZI: BUT SOM3HOW, TH3 STUFF H3 S41D...TEREZI: 1 L3T 1T G3T UND3R MY SK1N" My interpretation is that Gamzees status as a Bard Of Rage inspired uncharacteristic hatred in Terezi, essentially putting fake fuel into their kismesisitude.

When Terezi and Gamzee separate, Terezi stops being under the effect of Gamzees classpecting powers, allowing her to come to her senses about him, but then when they meet up again, Terezi starts feeling Rage towards him, clouding her sensible Mind and pulls her back again.

I formed 3 questions, if Gamzee realize his influence, whether or not his attraction to Terezi is real, and both of these equating to "is there actual character motivation or is this just Gamzee being written as evil and messed up?"

Looking at Gamzees conversation with Rose in the 3rd Openbound, he doesn't say much as to why he's with Terezi, only explaining their kismesisitude on her end and calling their relationship "the dark miracle called hatebliss.". Nothing he says points or hints at him knowingly doing anything to her, which could point to him being oblivious, or just Gamzee typical unreadability, I'm personally choosing the interpretation that he's oblivious.

During the [S] Act 6 Act 6 Intermission 5, we see Gamzee advancing on Terezi, visible Spades in his eyes, this immediately snuffs the idea that his end of their relationship was fake, we also see Terezi being visibly uncomfortable with it as well, pushing the Bard Influence Theory.

So, that means that there was genuine characterization happening there, rather than more Evil And Messed Up Gamzee writing.

Back to my opinion of "Putting Gamzee in a pitch relationship seems to inherently imbalance it?" His Bardly influence plays a part in it, he also seems more physically adept than the rest of our cast? (No I'm not going to use Equius as proof, that was on Equius choosing to die.)

I mean, take the Terezi beat down, sure she didn't fight back, but did you see how he was moving? He bashed her face in, back flipped her into a suplex before flipping AGAIN, on the top of her head might I add, into an INSANELY TALL flip, into the ATOMIC DOUBLE JUGGALO BACKBREAKER!!! Not to mention him swinging her over his head a few times after!

He took to bow kind like a duck to water, he snapped Nepetas arm with just his raw grip strength, he's a demon!

I can't believe I thought I could escape Post-Canon Dirk, I'm a stupid idiot diaper baby who poops in her diaper.

I may or may not have to reread the epilogues while consciously thinking about Dirk, who literally controls the entire thing.

All they do is piss me off, I can't believe I had to read a post to realize that Gamzee (16-ish) got Retconned into the Candy timeline with our 25-ish cast, making the Gamzee <3< Jane thing WORSE.

Also what the living hell is this?

You're 25, John!!! That's a 16 year old!!! I hated reading every second of these!!!

*sighhh* Man, some Equitav kismesisitude would kill right now... 👀

I would love a oneshot of Tavros Nitram and Equius Zahhak being extra potent rivals to one another, to read. 👀

Who invited this guy to the FLARP meeting?

While making the Tavros sprite I accidentally made Girl Tavros, and she was really pretty so I didn't want to throw her away, so I also made Girl Eridan too to pair, love wins I suppose???

And that's all the possible pairing with all 4 sprites, not counting themselves, but Caliborn actually mentioned this conundrum once before.

Why the fuck not? Lets do something stupid, together.

10/10, good ship, one of my pale otps.

Jane as a Maid of Life can kiss away boo-boos and I love her so bad, if only there was a world where she was blue and not red and Tavvy could've lived a more fulfilling life, that's his mooooooom, that's his mama, his mommy, my heart aches for him, I weep for him every time I see him.

She loves her baby boy so much, even if she isn't allowed to be a doting mom.

"You remind yourself, you are incredibly young for a god. It’s natural for your growing pains to be this calamitous." The way she tries justifying her wrong doings aches, I've used similar excuses to myself before when I was doing something wrong, not on this level of course, but still.

(Major headcanon/Canon divergence)

Considering that Tavvy was born 3 months premature, and look, I'm no Neonatologist or whatever, but I'm pretty sure that's fatal, that would mean Tavvy only gestated for 2/3's of what he should've. I'm under the impression that Jane, out of sheer maternal love, went straight from birthing Tavvy, to using her superior Maid of Life powers to keep him living, also I think that Jake named him Tavros, not Gamzee, Gamzee doesn't get a say in this, Jane declared that Jake names their boys and she names their girls.

Also if Sprites go where guidance is needed, then where on Earth C was everyone when babies were being made?!?!

Ok, you can't exactly tell that it's Yuri because Gamzee looks exactly the same, but also you can't convince me that being a girl would change how Gamzee looks AT ALL.

I figured since they both have a thing for painting with blood on walls, this would be a cute thing for them to do.