Man with the Goatee

Um….

I think my post is broken, I already have a married couple.

inspired by me dying during this holiday season

Soldier 76: The guy who gets PISSED that you won’t accept his months-old coupon because “I’VE BEEN A LOYAL CUSTOMER HERE FOR 30 YEARS! I THOUGHT THE CUSTOMER WAS ALWAYS RIGHT!”. Gets irrationally suspicious when you ask for his phone number for the Rewards program

Tracer: fastest transaction ever, has her rewards card, credit card, all that jazz ready the second she gets to the counter. Always takes her chip card out of the reader too early. ”Oh, do I have to leave it in there? *awkward laughter* All these machines are different, you know?”. Proceeds to do this every single time you ever ring her up

Reaper and Widowmaker: Really suspicious transaction broken up over a half dozen credit cards, all with different cardholder names. You try to subtly call for security, but they’re gone (with the unpaid merchandise) when you turn back around. 

also you definitely saw price tags still hanging from the expensive clothes Widow was wearing

Sombra: You could have sworn none of this stuff was on sale, but for some reason it’s all ringing up 50% off or more. She also has a bunch of shifty coupons you’ve never seen before, but the system accepts the barcodes so you guess they must be legit. Also somehow she knows your name even though you forgot your nametag today

D.Va: Stereotypical millennial customer who doesn’t know or question shit, just pays with her student account debit card and leaves. You realize afterwards that you overcharged her for something, but she’s already gone and didn’t even seem to notice.

Lúcio: The customer you can always count on to fill out those stupid surveys on the receipt and always give at least 4/5 stars for every rating. A Blessing to retail workers everywhere

Mercy: Dispenses friendly but mildly annoying advice about wearing proper footwear and insoles if you’re going to be standing on your feet all day. Culminates in her standing behind you and trying to instruct you on the best way to stand at a register to put the least amount of stress on your back. Tells you she’ll be checking up on you during her next visit, to make sure you’re following her advice.

Ana and Pharah: Ana makes you tell her the price of every single thing, and challenges you on at least half of them. At any given time she has 2-3 associates running around checking prices and stock for her. Pharah is mortified and apologizes repeatedly to you and the other associates

Reinhardt: The customer you think is going to be terrifying because he’s huge and loud, but is actually super nice and seeks out your manager afterward to sing your praises. 

Zenyatta: Everything went wrong with his transaction, yet by some miracle he remained calm and friendly and told you not to worry, it wasn’t in your control. Another blessing to retail workers

Symmetra: Already has the exact total of her purchase in-hand before you even start ringing. Watches you like a hawk the whole time like you’re gonna purposely try to fuck her over. The next day your manager shows you the customer feedback survey you received from a “Satya V.” of precisely 3.0 stars, with a customer note that just says “Sufficient”. 

Mei: Nice enough, but always leaves her fucking cart at the register when she’s done, so you have to come around and move it out of the way before any other customers can get through the lane. Also idles her car in the fire lane while she shops

Zarya: The customer you groan when you see coming because her cart is full of heavy items you figure you’re going to have to lift. imagine your surprise when she hoists them up for you to scan, then continues to hold the heavy items under her arm while she pays. she leaves the shopping cart and walks off with seemingly no effort at all.

Junkrat: Keeps asking you if he needs an ID or a license to buy certain suspicious items like bulk aerosol cans and igniters. seems visibly relieved when you tell him your store doesn’t require identification for those products

Roadhog: “Hi, how are you doing today?” “…..” “…Do you have a Rewards card?” “…..” “Will that be cash or credit?” “…..” *pulls a sweaty twenty dollar bill out of his pants and slaps it down on the counter* “…Okay then”

Torbjörn: The guy who wants to know exactly how your particular cash register works, asks you what year and model it is, what OS it’s running, etc. and is surprised when you don’t know. tries to lean over the counter and get a look at it himself. you tell him to please not do that. he reluctantly concedes.

Hanzo and Genji: Somehow manage to get into a massive fight in line that culminates in security forcibly removing them from the store

Hey I drew a comic that’s actually an allegory for a toxic relationship I used to be in. You should read it and stuff (but only if you wanna)

I was watching Gravity Falls with Midori and we got to the puppet ep and

Okay, so, we don’t know what the guy actually shouted, but Kage says it sounds like they went “UN PALETERO!” [or however it’s spelled].

That roughly translates to: “THE ICE CREAM MAN!”

And now I can’t un-hear it

Those Ganado really love their ice cream, and when they seen that Leon isn’t actually the ice cream man, they just get really upset and decide to try to murder him.

Despite not knowing you for a long time and only have a relatively vague idea of who you truly are beside the obvious post you make of your interest I feel as though I can help you in your recent problem, or at least try to...

I'm sure you already know of my relationship with my girlfriend and how it also is a long-distant one, although not as far as yours, I at least feel as though I can somewhat relate to what you are feeling. For me it has been 7-8 years and by the looks of what you have written it is almost similar to what I have/still kind of going through. I have an idea of what you're going through, the stress of not knowing what is happening but also the pain of being powerless to do anything about it (or at least that's how I'm interpreting it). Everyday you feel like it's eating at you from the inside for not being able to reassure yourself about your girlfriends well-being...

The only advice I can give is DO NOT focus on the worst, be patient, and if you must find someone to talk it out with (physically if you have to). Although I haven't really been in a situation quite like this I have dealt with it in smaller doses. I know it can be hard not knowing what has happened but you need to keep holding out no matter what.

I'm really sorry that you are going through something like  this...

Even though I don't know you that well, we don't often talk, and we hardly ever meet in person at least know that, like you, I hold my friends, old or new close to my heart and I'm always willing to lend a hand when needed. And... even though I am back in here in LA and trying to take care of my dad... just, if you ever what to talk it out feel free to send me a message anytime and I'll try to respond as quickly as I can.