intense lesbian shit

Y’all, bear with me. I’m having about three whole feelings about this.

I just really loved that line because it brought the story of the episode together for me and was so beautiful. 

Kat really sat out to make this night worthwhile for Adena. She didn’t need to, they could’ve spent the whole night in a McDonald’s and she’d have been so happy just to be with Kat. She came to be with Kat. 

Kat couldn’t be brave and go be with Adena in Paris so Adena came to her. She risked deportation to come be with Kat and while it was her decision to do so, it wouldn’t ease Kat’s guilt. So Kat was clearly on a mission to make the night memorable and make it “worth it”, worth everything Adena was going through, including facing the reality of going back home.

Kat taking charge of the “date” was so romantic but it was so much more than that. She was trying to pour all of her feelings into this one night. They couldn’t be together. They keep missing their moment and Kat was determined to give them just one night of being together, for real. 

Kat wasn’t lying when she said she wanted to go with Adena. She was desperate. She was caught up in the moment and all she was sure of was she wanted to be with Adena, no matter what it took. It also lulled them into this (ultimately false) sense of security: maybe they would have more than this one night. Maybe everything would be fine. Maybe they could be together after all, finally. I think it took some of the pressure off so they could stop thinking about what was to come and just be in the moment. In the light of day, when faced with the weight of that decision and what it would do to her life, Kat couldn’t follow through. But she did want to, she didn’t lead Adena on. Believing in that dream for the night added to the magic. To their bubble. 

And when Adena said “thank you”, it was like a revelation that she understood everything Kat had tried to do for her. She was trying to reassure Kat that even though she couldn’t get on that plane, she didn’t fail her, she’d done enough -she’d been enough for her and she wanted her to know that because she saw the guilt overtaking her. 

AT least, that was what I got from it. Listen, they’re both doing their very best. I need the universe to give them a break.

so i’ve been thinking about this fandom lately and the fact that it feels different than other fandoms. some of that is definitely because the fandom is smaller, for sure. but there’s something else too and maybe someone has already written about this and i missed it, but it suddenly hit me today–

most of the content of wlw fandoms online is born of a lack of satisfying content in the canon of a show. so if a pairing is subtext/queerbait, you’ll see paragraph dissertations of that one scene where they had that eye contact. and you’ll see an enormous amount of fanfiction telling all of the stories that the writers of the show never will. and you’ll see lots of conversation and memes about very small things. if a pairing is canon, you’ll see tons of headcanons. both serious and shit-posting ones, because the actual tv screen-time representation of the pairing is so limited. you’ll see fix-it fics and scene continuation fics. you’ll see gifsets with lengthy commentary, because the gifs are always of the same three good scenes they’ve had over the course of the whole show. wlw fandom generates the content that doesn’t exist. and then there’s this fandom.

the kadena fandom feels different because it is different. it’s the fandom of a pairing with really good canon content. the primary thing that brings us all together and into conversation with each other is excitement over what’s happening on the actual show. speculating over what’s coming, what could happen. gushing over the acting, the writing choices. reflecting on what’s been revealed about these characters with each episode. we’re brought together more by conversation and excitement about canon than by fandom generated creative content.

one very easy thing the writers could have done would be to have adena carry the brunt of the political message of this episode. that would have been the easiest (and laziest, and perhaps most problematic) way to convey the message of this episode.

but no. the writers don’t do this. instead, they treat adena as a whole and complex person who is affected by current immigration policies. they don’t use her as a mouthpiece. they don’t force her to be a standin for the show’s political message. this allows them to show one person’s complex interaction with these policies, and it is her experience alone. it is not meant to be everyone’s.

the writers would be remiss to completely leave politics out of this, and so they don’t. but the way they make their political statement is through other characters, through other storylines. they take the burden of making a political statement off of the backs of the characters most affected, and have the others carry that weight. it is clear that this episode is a huge middle finger to trump, the muslim ban, and every other policy he’s put in place, but they do this without tokenizing adena. of course, the personal becomes the political, and vice versa, but in the context of the narrative of 1x09, adena (and kat) are given the space to have their personal story, while kat’s friends and colleagues carry the political. they go so far as to have the folks at scarlet physically blocked from leaving by trump, which, while maybe heavy handed, is a pretty fucking great symbol?

and honestly when have your faves ever?

like how many times do we see marginalized characters further marginalized because they have to represent the struggle of everyone who shares their identity? the one gay character who has to stand in for The Gay Struggle tm?

but by freeing adena of the role as the mouthpiece, they are then able to tell a much more nuanced, personal, and heartfelt story that feels real, rather than a thinly veiled ‘here’s a bullet point list of why trump’s policies are wrong.’ and no character, no person, deserves to be treated as a list like that.

so. the message of this episode is, among other things, fuck trump. fuck the muslim ban. fuck legalized and systemic racism. but the message of adena’s storyline, ultimately? the pain of being apart, understanding your partner, taking risks, love. when it comes down to it, love.