Terminally Chill.

being a macroorganism is so stressful. i want to know what my cells are doing. I don’t like how unsupervised they are

my cells govern themselves, I’m mostly just a figurehead

my body is a constitutional monarchy and i am its powerless queen

sorry i have bubonic plague i can’t hang out tonight

aw rats

my weapon of choice during school yard fights 

You can control white people by giving them cheese

cheese is so good tho

I got one

you ever hoist a big laundry basket on your hip and feel like the great tragedy of your life is that you weren’t born a hearty peasant girl in medieval england who’d die at 22 from an abscessed tooth

imo the fact that people apparently relate to this points to some kind of weird cell memory of centuries of female labour that’s activated by extended pressure against the hipbone. im becoming an evolutionary psychologist it was wonderful knowing you all

what did the french trademark lawyer say to her wife

je ™

seeing vigorous joggers at 6 AM: okay we get it

in light of recent events, fuck

Jesus Christ what just happened.

look at different people each time tho

#is this problem sleuth

sHE THREW A BABY

I’ve been watching his for the past 5 minutes