She’s Been Slee in the Devil’s Bed

me on vacation in the hotel room in the hotel room air conditioning

why am I not a small, well-loved domestic cat

I think women's restrooms should have urinals not just to be more inclusive but also to give cis girls the option of Challenge Pissing™️

I pity whoever has to clean up this bathroom

What, so you think women would fail the challenge? You don't believe in women? You don't think men already pee on the floor anyways? Okay sexist much.

he is lemon coloured for deception

I love this.

I won’t lie I’m shedding a few tears right now

Sometimes the interpreter’s job is to actually interpret what is being said.  Not word-for-word (though that can be quite important), but context-for-context.

how is the kentucky derby not trending on here?? the horse with the lowest odds wins and immediately starts biting everything in its sight, that sounds like a tumblr legend to me

just saw a life-changing tweet

i love saying etc. like figure it out yourself

“I may think of you softly from time to time. But I’ll cut off my hand before I ever reach for you again.” - The Crucible, Arthur Miller